Jedi snapshots

I wondered if it might not be an okay-ish idea to start a run-on series of short ?snap-shots?, little incidents and happenings in the life of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Anyone wanna have a go?

TITLE: All tied up

?This is hot work!? the female voice replied.
?It?s supposed to be.? Obi-Wan Kenobi replied, gasping, his breath coming raggedly.
?You should push harder.?
?I?m doing my best!? groaned Obi-Wan.
?Come on, is that the best you can do??
?Criticism. That?s all I ever get from you, little Miss smartmouth! I?m the one who?s doing the work!?
?I enjoy watching you getting all worked up and sweaty!? She teased.

Qui-Gon and Mace Windu looked at each other. They couldn?t believe what they were hearing. They?d managed to sneak into the apartment that Qui-Gon shared with his padawan, truthfully to check up on the apprentice and his young friend. Not that Qui-Gon didn?t trust Obi-Wan. Of course not. He had been really well behaved since that unfortunate business with the zoo...

Then again, with Qui-Gon keeping an eagle eye on him, he hadn?t been given the chance to misbehave. Especially not with HER.

Obi-Wan was obviously far to engrossed in whatever he was doing. And Qui-Gon had a fair idea what it was?

?Put your back into it, Kenobi!?
?What does it look like I?m doing?!?
?You?re getting a bit red in the face. Perhaps we should stop.?
?Absolutely NOT!? He replied defiantly.

Pause.

?You know, I like watching you suffer.?
?You don?t say!? Obi-Wan growled.
?But you don?t look very comfortable. Perhaps you should try a different position.?

Outside Obi-Wan?s room, Qui-Gon gritted his teeth so loudly he thought that his apprentice might hear. Mace put his ear to the door. ?What is going on here?oh!?

?Better?? asked the female Corellian voice.
?Mmm, I think so. I was beginning to get cramp I was on the floor so long.?
?Poor baby.? The voice cooed. ?Where does it hurt??

The reply was mumbled, and Mace and Qui-Gon struggled to hear.
?Where did he say it hurt?? grinned Mace.
?Windu?!!!? Qui-Gon hissed. He tried to listen once more.

?Want me to rub it better??
?How could I refuse an offer like that??
?Perhaps you should try those ropes??

?That is IT!? Qui-Gon yelled, furious. He dropped his shielding and unceremoniously stormed into Obi-Wan?s room, Mace Windu following on his heals.

Two surprised looking figures stared back at him.

?Master Jinn?? Eighteen year old Jemmiah Gleshan looked at the jedi master in a pretence of puzzlement.
?Obi-Wan, what DO you think you?re doing?? Threatened Qui-Gon dangerously. ?I want the truth!?
Disheveled, Kenobi stared up at his master, disbelief and hurt playing on his youthful features.
?Press ups.?
?Pardon?? Qui-Gon looked confused.
?Press ups. You know, when you press down on the ground, and then up again. Press ups.?
?Thank you padawan. I know what they are.?
He looked at Jemmiah, standing calmly and completely composed. Not even slightly flushed. In one hand she held her wrist chrono. In the other she held a pair of skipping ropes.

Ropes. Oh.

Qui-Gon gulped.

?Jemmiah?s come round to help me with my exercise routine. I?m being tested tomorrow for my fitness and stamina, remember??
?Er..yes, padawan. I do recall now that you said something about it.? He looked slightly shame faced.
?You were checking up on us, weren?t you?? It was a statement, not a question. Kenobi crossed his arms in indignation. ?You should try trusting me, master.?
Qui-Gon nodded. ?We?er?we shall leave you to your training padawan.? His eyes dropped guiltily to the floor, and he elbowed Mace roughly to get him to move.
?What? Oh, er yes. See you around, Obi-Wan.?

The pair exchanged embarrassed looks as they turned and fled as quickly as they could. Obi-Wan could hear them muttering ?I did not,? and ?Yes, you did, you said they were??

Jemmiah called out after them ?Don?t worry, Master Jinn. I?ll try not to exhaust him!?

The door closed swiftly behind them.

?Well, not too much, anyway.? Jemmiah brushed a stray lock of chestnut hair from her face. ?They?ve gone. ? Her eyebrow?s raised expectantly.

?Good.? Ken

 

Jemmiah you always write the funniest things and they're fantastic. Keep up the good work. also great job with lions and tigers and padawans, oh my.

 

TITLE: Game on

?We?re going to have to hurry! He usually comes back about now.?
?Relax. There?s plenty of time.?
?You don?t understand. He?ll be livid if he sees us playing these games.? The first voice hissed in concern.
?You are such a worrier.? Put in a third voice. ?Stress is a very bad thing. It can lead to all sorts of nasty illnesses.?
?I am NOT stressed!? Number one rejoined.
?Ulcers. You can get them from stress.? A female voice offered her opinion.
?I do NOT have ulcers.?
Number three sighed. ?No. You don?t have ulcers. You?re just a carrier. This is supposed to be FUN!?

Pause.

?I told him we were meditating in the gardens.?
?What all of us?? Queried number two.
?It was the best I could do at such short notice. I?m not used to lying with any great imagination.?
?Then you should get used to it. It?s part of basic Jedi training. Said individual should be prepared to lie and cheat as when required if it?s for the greater good of the order.? Number two grinned.
?You invent rules just to suit yourself.?
?It?s true.? Argued number two. ?Well, from a certain point of view.?
?C?mon guys,? the female voice broke in. ?This was meant to be a break from the rigours and strains of everyday Jedi duty. When do we ever get time off together?? She grabbed at a packet of hot Banajj crisps. ?Who?s for more?? She asked, her mouth full.
?Manners? tutted number one, wiping the crisps that had been sprayed on him from his hair.
?You?re impossible.? She glared reproachfully. ?Lighten up a bit, instead of sitting there like a great big slab of marble!?
?Yeah,? rejoined number two. ?No wonder they call you frosty!?
Number one looked shocked. ?Frosty? Who calls me that??
?Number three snickered. ?I know somebody who does.?
?Doesn?t happen to be a female that starts with a ?J?, by any chance?? Number two laughed back.
Number four smirked.

?Very droll.? Number one crossed his arms. ?I?m still worried, though.?
?We?ll have the place all tidied up. He?ll never know we were here.?
?You KNOW what he?s like about these games.?
?You?re just moaning because you?re so bad at them.? Number four said in a lilting voice. ?If you were to practice more??
?And how am I supposed to do that?? Number one said in frustration. ?He knows when I?m so much as thinking about playing with the console.?
Number two frowned. ?Do you do anything other than whine? I don?t know how he puts up with you.?

The rattle of fingers against console was the only sound for a while, until a ?Blap!? sound indicated that the game was over.
?Sith!? swore number two loudly. ?It killed me! How did it do that??
?I though you were supposed to be good at this?? smirked number one.
?I?m better than you, any day!? challenged number two.
?Yeah??
?Yeah!?
?Settle down!? Number three stepped in, ever the peacemaker. ?Let?s have some more of that Alderaani wine.?
?Not more, PLEASE!? Implored number one.
?Oh, shut up!? chorused the other three. ?It?s your turn with the console.?

Number one gulped guiltily, and took the console from his friend. ?What if he comes back?? He asked fearfully.
Number three smiled. ?He?s getting checked over by the healers, isn?t he? I?m sure they?ll give him a full examination. One that will last a good few hours. I?m sure we?ll be safe for the time being.?
?Yes.? Number four added wickedly. ?Those healers can be VERY thorough, can?t they!?
?Tell me about it.? Groused number two. ?Rubber gloves will never look the same to me again!?

Reluctantly, Number one depressed the start button on the console, and after a moment found himself lost in the game, utilising the force around him to sharpen his Vampire-slaying instincts.

Got you! He grinned.

This was easy, after all.

?I think I?m beginning to enjoy myself.? He said triumphantly.
?Is that so??

The voice of a fifth person entered the fray and four guilty looking faces whipped round in shock. Standing on his crutches, a lone figure entered through the doorway.

?I just want to know one thing.? The stern voice repeated.
?W-what.? Shook the other.

?Who gave you permission to play with my games console, Master??

 

All right! I couldn't stop laughing! "Rubber gloves will never look the same to me again." Wonderful! But just one question. Who's the female that starts with a "J"?

Three weeks later, Jane falls out of her seat, shaking with laughter and burning with shame at the same time."I got it! I finally got it! Isn't it funny how the words 'duh' and 'Jemmiah' sort of rhyme?"

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 04-02-2000).]

 

This is awesome! Write more please!

 

OH classic, very good!

Kithera

 

*clutching stomach laughing*

Th-tha-that.. was hi-hi-hi-larious! C-can't st-stop la-lau-laughing...... don't s-stop!

*rolling on the floor now*

 

Hooray!!

More brilliant stories from the clever mind of Jemmiah!!

I'm really looking forward to seeing more!

 

up!

 

This one is dedicated to Jane Jinn and all Obi-Torture fans?

TITLE: Sticky moments

Obi-Wan had never known pain like it.

For what seemed like the thousandth time in the last five minutes his mind screamed in complete agony. It ripped through him; burning and searing like a red-hot flame. The heat radiated off his skin. And just when he thought he?d recovered sufficiently, dampening the residual needle-like sensation with the force, the torture would begin again.

He didn?t know how much more he could take.

At twenty-one years of age, Obi-Wan was in good physical shape. He had perfect musculature and was extremely fit; every one at the temple had said so. Even his torturer seemed to eye him appraisingly. But now he felt he was nearing the end of his tether. And as for his master?

Qui-Gon was over thirty years older than his padawan, although he too was in excellent condition. But there were few occasions when he?d ever felt so tempted to give in to the darkside as he did now. The intensity and severity of the pain that lashed him was almost intolerable. He watched the well practised hands descend upon his bare torso, and gritted his teeth.

?Sith!!!? He yelled.
Obi-Wan gulped, turning his head round to face his beleaguered master who lay next to him.
?I can?t stand this.? Qui-Gon whispered, his face ashen. ?This is beyond agony.?
?I..I know, master. But we have to be strong.? Kenobi?s resolve began to crumble when he saw that it was his turn once more.
?It?s excruciating!?
Obi-Wan nodded. ?I don?t understand how any being should be subjected to this indignity.?

He watched and waited for the torture to begin again. The hands came down upon his chest, and there was a sickening, tearing sound. Kenobi thought he saw black spots appearing before his eyes.

?Hang on, Obi-Wan. We?ll get through this. We must.? Qui-Gon reached his hand out and laid it on his padawan?s shoulder. Obi-Wan flinched. His skin felt as if it were being flayed and stabbed all at the same time. It was bad enough that he should suffer this torment, but to have to watch Qui-Gon go through it too was unbearable.

?Whoever thought this up has a sick and depraved mind.? Qui-Gon shouted, and then wished he hadn?t.

His turn again.

The swift, wrenching sound was almost as bad as the pain that accompanied it. Jinn felt as if he were going to throw up. ?You don?t really need both of us,? he said hoarsely, ?If you must torture someone then let it be me, but don?t make Obi-Wan suffer with me.?
?No, master.? Kenobi felt his strength bolstered by the courage of the man beside him. ?If you can endure it, so can I. Let there be no more talk of this kind. I shall not leave you to suffer alone. I will not have it.? Tears formed in his eyes.
?My brave padawan.? Qui-Gon murmured proudly, before facing his captor once more. ?Do you worst.?

The torturer raised an eyebrow.

Oh, Sith. Qui-Gon watched as the hands returned to the stricken body of his apprentice. The familiar wrenching sound was this time accompanied by a shriek.

?I take it back!? Obi-Wan yelled. ?Torture him instead, just leave me alone!?
?Padawan!?
?I?m sorry master,? he whimpered. ?Even a Jedi has his limits.?
?Fine.? Qui-Gon snapped. ?But just remember that this is absolutely the LAST time I ever let Jemmiah give me an all-over body wax to raise funds for the Temple.?

Jemmiah smiled as she reached for another strip.

?You think this is bad?? She grinned deviously. ?I can assure you that it?s downhill all the way from here!?


[This message has been edited by Jemmiah (edited 04-14-2000).]

 

Sick and depraved, I agree!

"Torture him instead, just leave me alone!" I'm sure we've all wanted to hear those words from Obi-Wan's mouth, yes. I am laughing my head off even now.

So, Jemmiah, how much money did you raise for the Temple?

 

Hehehhehehe OUCH!!!!!!!

Oh that was classic, keep writing I want to know more!

Kithera

 

You want more?

OK. This explains the background to a certain incident, which I have already mentioned during the course of another story?

TITLE: Chariots of 'Ire'...

PART 1: Humiliation.


Qui-Gon couldn?t believe it. He just couldn?t believe it!

If anyone had given odds prior to the race that he and his apprentice would win the most prestigious event in the Master/Padawan sports day he would have said that they were a crystal shot of a lightsabre. But for whatever reason, the force had deigned that the day would be theirs. A triumphant collaboration; a perfect matching of master and trainee, together in complete unison and harmony. Strong in the force.

All the events were designed to be both challenging and fun. The Jedi had always had such a bad press for being stuffy and rigid, and for the past ten years Yoda had been trying to find ways of making the image of the Jedi a little less severe.

These events had been the result.

Most of them had been created specifically with the idea of working with the force. Puzzles, lightsabre matches, tasks of agility and skill? it was meant to be highly competitive, yet fairly fought.

No cheating.

Qui-Gon thought that if Yoda had been aware of just how competitive it really was, he would probably have abolished the whole thing. A Jedi should take pride in his achievements and always strive to do his best, but not at the cost of inducing bad feelings and un-sportsman like behaviour. And Qui-Gon wanted to win!

Badly.

He and his apprentice were just ten points clear of their nearest rivals, Master Sal-Fina and her padawan Ambianca. The points tally showed that if Sal-Fina and her stuck-up apprentice won the final event, they would be declared over-all champions. And Qui-Gon was not about to let that happen.

The last event was the silliest of the lot: the sack race. Why Yoda had decided to include this in the schedule was quite beyond Qui-Gon?s imagination, yet strangely it had become the one that everyone wanted to do well in, for no other reason than it had little to do with skill, or the force. Luck, and teamwork perhaps. It was rendered all the more ludicrous because Yoda had invited, as always, a member of the press to witness the events and Qui-Gon couldn?t help feeling that there was something undignified in Jedi being seen two to a sack, hopping along the ground. Or falling on their rears.

This year, it would be fine, Jinn told himself as he and his thirteen-year-old padawan lengthened their jumps, covering the ground in an amazing display of co-ordination. He thanked the force that he had a padawan who was tall for his age, and as determined to win as his master. They would not lose, they would not!

Just yards to go!

Without warning, Qui-Gon found his force sense alerting him to the presence of another set of rivals on his far left. He made the mistake of looking across and nearly stumbled.

Sal-Fina and Ambianca.

Ambianca was a mere child. She had been claimed by her master at an extremely early age, more to do with looking like a little clone of Sal-Fina rather than any particular force skill she may have possessed. The long blond locks of the master and the short, spiky gold hair of the padawan could just be seen at the edge of Qui-Gon?s vision, although he?d already known who was making that determined charge towards the line long before his sight had confirmed the fact. To see it all taken away from them now?

It was going to be close. The line was coming up fast.

Qui-Gon called on his padawan to make the supreme effort, but infact got a response of a very different kind. From in front of him, he felt his apprentice reach out with the force?

And the next thing Qui-Gon knew, Sal-Fina and Ambianca were on the ground in a large, sprawling heap.

As Master Jinn and his padawan went crashing over the line, he knew that every force sensitive being in the gardens had felt what had been done. This was not going to be good. He looked up, and found himself staring into Yoda?s markedly displeased face.

Oh, Sith.
*****************

?Disqualified.? Qui-Gon said in

 

I do hope the words "Part I" mean that "Part II" is coming soon--very soon! And a very nice twist that was, with the apprentice turning out to be Xanatos at the end, and not our own dear Obi-Wan. Only Xanatos could be so mean! Good job, Jemmiah!

 

Let?s see the misery awaits Qui-Gon in-

TITLE: Chariots of 'Ire'...

PART TWO: Embarrassment

Here we go again, thought Qui-Gon Jinn.

He?d seen Yoda shuffling his way across the floor towards him, tapping the floor with his stick with every step he took. Another lecture, he guessed. Yet one more futile attempt to persuade the tall Jedi that now was the right time to take another padawan. Another young life to shelter, and nurture and teach the ways of the force.

Another Xanatos.

Qui-Gon had just completed his enforced half yearly visit (certainly not a pilgrimage) to watch the young initiates training and showing off their prowess with the lightsabre, knowing fine well that whilst he was watching the combatants, Yoda would be watching him. His former master knew exactly how Qui-Gon felt about the idea of taking a new padawan.

It was NOT an option.

He couldn?t risk it. Xanatos had betrayed him. He?d chosen to overlook the faults that his former apprentice had, and in hindsight there were many, with the result that the once promising young student had turned. It had been his fault, Qui-Gon reflected. He?d spoiled him, cosseted him. Ignored the devious and manipulative side of his personality. Invested so much time and love. Instead of correcting him for his mistakes, Qui-Gon praised him. Everyone had seen it except for him, and now he felt the shame so deeply that he could never take the risk that a further apprentice might not let him down in the same, heart-crushing way. Yoda could nag until he turned blue in the face. Qui-Gon would not be dissuaded.

There had been one boy, a near thirteen-year-old youngster that had somehow caught his eye even though he had refused to let himself be swayed. His rejection of the boy had pained him, but it had to be done. Better the Agri-Corps on Bandomeer than a clouded, uncertain future with a master who might fail him. It was easier and less traumatic to refuse him as a padawan now.

And yet the boy stayed in his mind.

Obi-Wan. That was the boy?s name.

He received Yoda?s expected lecture without really listening. He knew that they were considering making him take another padawan, and by announcing the intention they hoped it would force Qui-Gon?s hand into choosing for himself. Well, he would not be blackmailed

I can?t chance it, Qui-Gon thought. I can?t set myself up for another fall.

He shook his head, and looked at Yoda.

?I shall NEVER take another padawan.?
*********************


A YEAR LATER:


?Master!? Obi-Wan yelled excitedly as he ran through the doorway of the apartment. ?We?ve been invited to take part in the annual Master/Padawan sports day!?
Qui-Gon Jinn?s head snapped up so swiftly that Obi-Wan was surprised that his master?s neck hadn?t broken. Blood seemed to drain from his face at an appalling rate, leaving the young padawan wondering what he could possibly have said to cause such a drastic reaction. He did not want to offend Qui-Gon, especially as events in their not too distant past had put a considerable amount of strain on their bond, and Kenobi hoped he hadn?t said anything that would prove detrimental to their reastablished relationship.

Jinn stared off into space, seemingly in a world of his own. Although Obi-Wan could not understand, he was in fact reliving the last ghastly time he had participated in the sports day. Xanatos had done him up like a Corellian Kipper?

?Master?? Obi-Wan swallowed, timidly trying to reassure himself that he was not going to be on the next flight to Bandomeer, ?I?m sorry if??
?That?s alright.? Qui-Gon nodded, switching his attention back to his concerned apprentice. ?I think it?s a perfectly reasonable suggestion.? Obi-Wan didn?t think his master looked too convinced but said nothing. ?You might want to invite Jemmiah. I?m sure she would like to watch. It might make her feel less intimidated with her new surroundings.?
?Yes, master.? Obi-Wan bowed slightly. ?Most of the other masters and padawans have been invited, too. Menali-Jay Abran and his master, Kryztan Harkley and Master Berlingside, Ambianca Machie`ak and M

 

All right! Finally, the story behind "Master Cheat and Padawan Junkie"! YESSS!

How, Jemmiah, how can things possibly get worse? What can possibly go wrong in Part III? What?

 

*looks around*

What's this thing doin all the way over here? Back to page 1 with ye!

 

Classic.....that was hilarious.

Kithera

 

Can't wait for part III.

 

*snort!*

I am so glad I wasn't trying to eat anything while reading this or there'd be food sprayed all over the monitor...

 

Forget the food, what about my TEA!!???!?!?!

I'm gonna wreck my keyboard again someday...

This is my third keyboard BTW.

 

MORE, PLEASE!!! I was laughing SO hard my sister now thinks I'm crazy!

 

This is hilarious!

 

up!

 

Elevator Up!!!