Before Jedi Tales: The Origin of Palpatine UPDATED Ch12 Pt1 27/11/06

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi_Sharoes, Nov 9, 2004.

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  1. centerpoint1 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2006
    star 1
    Have faith sharoes will be back......I hope..?!?...[face_whistling]
  2. restie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2004
    star 1
    Dare we hope for a new chapter soon? [face_praying] [face_praying] [face_praying]
  3. Darth_Abtranor Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 1
    Must have. . . new chapter. . .

    Love this fic :D

  4. JimmySizzleChest Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 1
    please let the story flow master shores. halloween the saeason of the witch, not only the title to a movie but hopefuly enticement to write drak and daring passages in honor of the scarry month.
  5. excellion_razor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2006
    star 1
    This is getting old :( ! please please post sooooooooooooon.
  6. Jedi_Sharoes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2004
    star 1
    JEDI TALES: THE ORIGIN OF PALPATINE
    PART II: DARK KNOWLEDGE

    CHAPTER ELEVEN





    Belo hurried down the accessway towards Gondan Vez?s base in the Underground. As his speeder bike sped down the tunnels towards his destination, Belo considered his options. Vez was a formidable fighter, and a Korunnai, so was sensitive to the Force, though nowhere near as much as the Jedi or the Sith. It would help his reactions and he may have defences against mind control. So it would be best to disable him ?

    Belo pulled the speeder bike to a halt outside a small dwelling, randomly constructed, mostly from pre-fab plasteel boxes by the look of it, thought Belo. His eyes did a sweep of the area while his other senses searched for threats that may be hidden from vision. The usual refinements were there: sensors, spy cams, anti-espionage devices. Vez obviously liked to feel secure. There was no way he was going to get inside undetected. So, thought Belo, let?s just knock at the door and see where that gets me.

    Belo stepped up to the entrance and tapped the intercom and spoke into it. ?I have business with Gondan Vez?. No more need be said, he thought. A cold, metallic voice answered: ?Who is it? What do you want??

    ?My name is Soon Pask. I have come on behalf of certain people who wish to buy something he has?, said Belo.

    There was a pause. Belo knew the security array was scanning him for weaponry. He wondered how often lightsabers showed up on such things and made a note to check. ?Enter?, said the droid-like voice. Obvious not a C2 unit, programmed for pleasantries, thought Belo.

    The door slid open and Belo walked inside, his senses on full alert, ready to react if Vez should suspect a trap. On his right, a Gank security droid, heavily armed, stepped in front of him. ?Wait here?, said the metallic voice, ?Vez will see you shortly.? Belo decided to sit in the small atrium-like chamber. It was a position that gave the impression there was no threat. He looked around and decided that whatever air-scrubbing system Vez had installed here, it was obviously faulty.

    Belo didn?t have to wait long before Vez walked into the room. As he did so, Belo analysed his appearance: tall, strong, fluid movements, a large presence, obviously designed to intimidate. He was known to have killed one Jedi at least during his time as a bounty hunter. A very formidable opponent. But he did not have the dark side as his ally. Taking all this in at a glance, Belo stood up to meet him. He knew his own slight physique would not make him seem much of a threat. All the better, he thought.

    Vez spoke, his deep voice filling the small room. ?So, Soon Pask, huh??

    ?Yes,? said Belo unwaveringly. ?I?m here on behalf of ? clients, who would like to buy some very valuable artifacts you have for sale.?

    ?Clients, huh? And who might they be?? said Vez, a touch of aggression in his voice.

    Belo knew Vez was sounding him out, determining whether he was a genuine buyer or not. ?Well, as I?m sure you?re aware, my clients are cultured people, with a very refined taste. But given the rumoured nature of this artifacts, I?m sure you can understand their wish to ??

    ?Remain anonymous, yeah. I get you,? said Vez. ?Cultured clients. That sounds like the Hutts to me.?

    Belo faked an understated reaction of shock, quickly covered.

    ?Yep, Hutts all the way. By the way, you?re a little late. The Museum and the Jedi have been here already so if you really want these things, it?ll cost you. Highest bidder wins.?

    Belo let a half-faked, half-true look of disgust cross his face and said, ?my clients are willing to pay any reasonable price and are prepared to pay a small commission to its vendor?.

    ?A small commission?, Vez shook his head and smiled. ?Ok, let?s go inside, but first of all, the formalities must be observed.? He motioned to the Gank security droid to come forward. ?Hand over the hardware to Ten-Bee here. No point in taking risks is there??

    Belo slowly removed his blaster an/>
  7. Jedi_Sharoes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2004
    star 1
    By the way, I noticed a few of you have asked me to alter the Topic title to show when it's been updated, but I can't find out how to do it? Any of you know how I do that?

    Many thanks!!!
  8. DARTH_VEZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 2
    Haven't read it yet but had to post my enthusiasm!
    Thank you Sharoes!
    Now, to read...
  9. DARTH_VEZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 2
    Worth the wait. I am proud to have gone out with such a fight, forcing a Sith to resort to the Force. How often will you be updating?

    Nevertheless, fantastic.

    As for the title change, PM a mod or other writers b/c they all know, however I am not sure of how to do it exactly.
  10. JimmySizzleChest Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 1
    Thanks for the dark joy this brings to me and all those who read it. :) Master Shores your talent is truly a delight to savor. thanks for the story update. Here?s to more adventure and intrigue of the darkest kind. :)
  11. excellion_razor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2006
    star 1
    Great post Jedi_Sharoes. Hope you keep them coming. It is great to have a story from Palpatine's past. Others have tried to write a good origin story for him, but they seem to be missing something that your story is not missing. Keep up the good work.
  12. Jedi_Sharoes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2004
    star 1
    Hi everyone! Hope I've not kept you waiting too long for this next update!

    Ok, it's time to tie up the loose ends from this part of the Palpatine origin story. This has been really difficult to write and I lost my way in the middle of it which is why it's taken so long to get to the end of it. This twelfth (and last in this section) chapter is in three parts, the first of which is below.

    Happy reading!!!

    JEDI TALES: THE ORIGIN OF PALPATINE
    PART II: DARK KNOWLEDGE

    CHAPTER TWELVE
    PART ONE




    Darth Plageuis, Dark Lord of the Sith, stood outside Gondan Vez?s lair, trying not to breathe too much of the fetid air, pervasive throughout the Underground. He noted the various security sensors, the Force alerting him to their presence. ?A fitting place for such scum?, he thought, ?useful as they can be sometimes.? The soft whirr of a security cam moving towards him caught his ear and he turned to face it. Although he kept the hood of his cloak raised, he knew the man inside would know it was him. As he waited for the door to open, a moment?s anger passed through him. It was not fitting, he thought, that a Dark Lord of the Sith should have to be here, carrying out what would normally be an underling?s task. Although he had many resources at his command, he did not yet have an army with which to conquer, as was his right. Still, he pondered, there were some things which needed to be done by oneself. Punctuating his thought, the door in front of him slid open.

    He walked through to find a scene of devastation in front of him. To his left, his apprentice, Belo Palpatine, stood and bowed in welcome. Before he answered, his eyes swept the room, taking in the various pieces of what looked like some kind of security droid, noting the various notches in the walls carved by lightsaber and the force pike his apprentice held in one hand. Finally his eyes rested upon the stricken form of Gondan Vez, the notorious bounty hunter, the one who had killed Jedi in the past. To his satisfaction, and with some element of surprise, his apprentice seemed relatively unharmed, whereas Gondan Vez lay propped against the rear wall of the dusty antechamber, his head bowed and body shaking slightly. His body ? or what remained of it, thought Plageuis, was covered in blood, and his limbs had been severed from it, one by one, it seemed, his legs and arms now having joined the parts of his former security droid in a pile in a corner of the room. His famed blue camo-armor was now equally red with his own blood, and the bounty hunter was now shaking with the shock and blood loss. It appeared to Plageuis that he had got there just in time, while the human was still conscious.

    He finally spoke, but not to his apprentice. ?Ah, the famed bounty hunter, Gondan Vez. We meet at last? was all he said.

    ?Wh-who are you?? Vez spat out the question, hardly having enough energy to speak.
    ?Does it matter?? he asked.
    ?It m-matters to me?, growled Vez, still unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. ?So I can have r-revenge!?
    Plageuis? only answer was a laugh, cold and hard.
    ?Tell me!? shouted Vez.
    Plageuis thought for a moment, before he turned to look at his apprentice. ?Well, they do say you should grant a dying man his last wish? he said, mockingly. He knelt down, facing Vez so he could look him directly in his eyes. ?I am Darth Plageuis, the Dark Lord of the Sith, and your employer has something for sale that I very much want, and I am not someone who takes no for an answer.? His voice was low and sybillant, forcing Vez to pay attention to his every word.
    Vez stared back into the Muun?s eyes and his own gaze hardened as he spat out, ?Wh-what makes you think I?ll tell you after this?? he asked. ?I?d rather ??
    ?Die?? asked Plageuis. ?Because I can either make what precious few minutes you have left to live so agonizing you?ll look upon death as a mercy.?
    Vez blinked, unable to stop a wave of fear course through himself.
    ?Or if you tell me and lie, I could tell you that just l/>
  13. DARTH_VEZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 2
    How deliciously evil...
  14. excellion_razor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2006
    star 1
  15. MasterTywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2004
    star 1
    Double updates!!!holy sith!!! great updates hope to see more soon.=D=
  16. JimmySizzleChest Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 1
    the weighty sensation of the dark side permeate throughout the chapter. stoic and cruel your grasp of the sith is truly a joy to behold. many thanks on the updates master shores :)
  17. SithStarSlayer Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2003
    star 6
    "Excellent, Lord Sharoes... you have done well."
  18. Jedi_Sharoes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2004
    star 1
    Thanks for the comments! I had to be careful writing that so as not to come close to breaking the rules! There are limits to how much violence you can portray. Readng it back just know I realised it was quite creepy!

    Part two to come soon!!!
  19. JimmySizzleChest Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 1
    I didn?t realize there were limits on content. I had always thought about contributing but i had never really looked into it. I can say without a doubt that you tale in no way seems hampered by any restraints. i don?t begrudge the board for instituting restraints since the movies are all PG rated it almost makes sense. i do feel some unease with the need for restrictions and am less enthusiastic to partake in fan fiction. i do find it hard to believe that you are delivering such an excellent tale within boundaries. you deserve another cheer for that. it doesn?t show. your prose is extremely entertaining master shores. bravo. more more more. please
  20. DARTH_VEZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 2
    Actually, ROTS was PG13
  21. JimmySizzleChest Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 1
    my mistake. i bow to the correction. but still the point is simply star wars is not an x rated series. i can think of a lot of good and bad scenarios off the top of my head but this is neither the time nor the place. cheers master shores stay warm and warm our dark hearts with dastardly deeds of villains. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
  22. DARTH_VEZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 2
    Aye, Sharoes indeed has drawn a brilliantly evil novel while staying within the limits. My only critisism (ever) of Sharoes is lack of updates, which is like JW at the moment (going to check that thread as well). Return soon, Sharoes!
  23. SithStarSlayer Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2003
    star 6
    Perhaps a treat before the new year?
  24. MASTER-OF-EVIL Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 10, 2004
    star 4
    You know the saying, Good things come to those who wait...
  25. SithStarSlayer Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2003
    star 6
    Indeed.
    There is no need to remind you that patience is a virtue of the Sith.


    :D
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