Jedis in a fic...

I explain.

My fic (Dark Memories. Imperial pilot fiction) use many concepts of both KOTOR games, including the fact that a good portion of the average citizens of the Republic or the Empire have a certain dislike of the Jedi Order.

So, my main character, Myra, had been warned by her father to use a trick that work very well for fooling Jedis (he thinks to the Emperor and Vader...) : for avoiding her train of thoughts to be discovered, she cannot hide what she thinks, like Jedis. She can however drown what she really thinks in a flow of surface thoughts-like for instance constantly repeating in her mind the same sentence...(How the heck the father could know that ? He is a survivor of the battles of the Clone Wars-he served in the fleet, not in the Clone army-and he did not liked many discussions he was hearing, when Jedis gravely discuted about the Jedi Code in the middle of a battle...First hand experience made him realize that Jedi mind powers are not very effective if you know they use them...)

So, here is the tricky part, the potential Mary Sue.
Myra squadron is engaged against Rebels. Rogue Squadron ! (damnit. It's before Hoth) Of course, the Imperials battle to the disaster real fast. Myra's fighter is attacked by the Leader of the formation...a craft she had formal orders to not destroy (for obvious reasons...Luke is the pilot...) Recalling the wild rumors about the fact that the Rebels have their own Jedi in Rogue Squadron, Myra decide to use a desperate trick. She began to repeat mentally ''Yes..yes...come just a little further...'', in the hope that this would like there is a potential trap ahead. And...it's work, since Luke give up pursuit.

Is this scene Mary Sue (in the optic : she beats Luke...who is never NAMMED, by the way) ? In my opinion, no, since she did not shot him down, she merely escape...

 

No, I don't think so. It's a good idea, and makes sense. Besides, MS-ness isn't likely to rest on a single idea/scene, and certainly not this one. As in any OC fic, you'd just have to watch out when writing the rest of the fic. If you want to discuss it, just PM me.

 

I don't think one scene will make much difference. It sounds fine.

Um, just so you know... the plural of Jedi is just 'Jedi'.

 

I think your only danger here is in making the escape too easy.

1) Just repeating a mantra is no way to fight off a Jedi.

2) Luke might have been using the Force to detect actions before they happen, but nothing indicates he was able to read minds during the battle.

Now, one direction you could go with this to make it more plausible is to make Luke aware of the fact that someone knows he's a Jedi. He might have let her escape out of curiosity, wondering who could know about his training.

But nothing about this seems too Mary-Sue. And yes, the plural of Jedi is Jedi, no matter what some stupid news reporter or friend-of-a-friend-of-a-Star Wars-fan might say.


Stupid news reporters.