Before - Legends Jemmy's Diary: an observation of the galaxy, the Jedi and sundry other strange people! * 24/10/06*

Oh, yes, I loved that because it used Dex as the really big kid he is and of course Yoda pegged Mace! LOL!

 

These always brighten my day! Even when I'm so tired that I'm cross-eyed!

 

ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND NINETEEN:


Well diary, I did it.

I sold my soul to Vaanuush. (He's a sort of a devil or demon or something. Traditionally he has three heads with little pointy bits sticking out of his skull like a Zabrack, and he's tattooed from head to foot just so you know he's an evil guy. He's supposed to occupy one of the seven Corellian hells).

Actually, I'd better explain about hell whilst I'm on the subject. Thing is, there are so many hells according to Corellia and every generation seems to add an extra few just to impress the kids. It's a bit like saying, "if you're really bad you might get into the even bigger hot, fiery place next door", like it's some kind of club or something! I think it means that if you're really, really evil - like Rufus Merdan - you get to go in the seventh hell, and then you gradually have to work your way down until you've done enough penance for all the bad stuff you've done until you're in the first hell, which is not as hot and unpleasant as the other six. And once you've done your time in hell you're judged and then finally set free of torment. Which is where this reincarnation stuff comes in that Quiggy seems to be interested in for some reason. I can't understand why: I didn't think the Jedi would believe in that sort of thing but Quiggy says 'it pays to keep an open mind about life after death' and it's not up to us what happens to us when we die.

I guess it is sort of out of our hands at that point, really!

Despite all this hell stuff, everyone knows Corellians don't go there. We're too darn clever! Corellian hells are for all the people who don't repent at the last minute with their dying breath. And even if there is such a thing I won't be going there because I've had a rotten life so far, mostly, so I've already done my penance in advance! And I'm going where Quiggy goes, and as he's a Jedi and only does good things I guess I'll be going to heaven after all, eh? Ha ha! Not that Quiggy knows it yet, but if I can't hitch a ride into heaven on the cloak tails of a Jedi then nobody can!

The devil you don't want to meet is Scorathees. He's in charge of hell seven and he likes sticking big hot pointy sticks in you all the time, according to legend. He has a big, white beard and evil red eyes?a bit like Master Quillan when someone cuts down his plants by mistake. Come to think of it that explains why Mace and Dex are secretly terrified of old Quillan!

Where was I, anyway? Oh, yes?I've sold my soul to a devil. And I had to defeat a personal demon of my own to do it.

Against all common sense I told Evla about my aquabrand. I don't think I've ever felt so ashamed in my whole life. The look of horror on her face as I explained about it?I can still see it now, even if I close my eyes tight shut. But I needed to tell someone because otherwise I'll be forced to go into the pool, and then the other kids will see it and know I used to be a slave. And then I will be in hell?maybe it won't be all hot and burning, but it'll be just as horrible.

I think Evla was about to cry, to be honest. I really didn't want to see her upset because that just made me upset, too. I don't think she believed me at first, she was just too stunned. So I dragged her through to the fresher room and had to wet the kriffing thing with a face flannel and hot water so it would come up. Then when she realised I was telling the truth she didn't know what to say. I could tell what she was thinking though.

She must have been wondering exactly what kind of life I led before Qui-Gon brought me to Coruscant. I don't want anyone thinking of me like that, especially not Evla. How can look at me in the same way she used to?

The one good thing that came of it all was that she agreed to let me off swimming at school. She said she understood that children could be horrible and unforgiving, especially after Sophie. So she's going to tell my school that I won't be taking part in the class. There is a condition, though.

I have to learn to s

 

I had this deep and meaningful reply about Jemmy and her telling about her aquabrand but I lost it all when I started laughing hysterically after reading this...

There is no way I was going to recover after reading that!

 

Not very far a few years later with the all-over body wax...

 

ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO:


I asked Obi-Wan what's been bothering him but he wouldn't tell me. He looks so sad?all I could do was tell him that I would be there to listen if he needed to speak to someone. Ben actually smiled at that. He said he thought it was funny that I would be willing to listen to his problems when I didn't share my own with anyone other than my diary.

Imagine being jealous of a diary! But I love Ben, even if he is being silly.

Eventually he admitted that he'd been having weird dreams. I know what that's like coz I still get them myself. Sometimes about Todd and sometimes about Levinstowe and the wine cellar. Usually though I dream about having to dig up the bodies buried on Nargotria. Corellians consider it unlucky to disturb a grave. I keep dreaming that the bodies sit up and reach for my throat with bony fingers, trying to choke me. I try to tell them that I don't want to disturb them and that Merdan's making us do it, but they're dead and can't hear?can't understand. And just as I'm being choked to death with little spots appearing in front of my eyes, I wake up.

The last time I dreamt this the body in the grave was my mother's. I recognised the dress she'd been wearing.

I understand what Ben means when he says I don't tell him things. But how am I meant to tell him things like that? It's so horrible?and it's worse because it's true. Maybe the bodies didn't sit up and reach out, but I felt they were screaming all the same. And in the end they never even got a proper grave. Dug up and thrown over the side of the cliffs like they were garbage.

My mother was amongst them. She'd been a real person once. Why couldn't Merdan leave her alone? I don't understand why he ordered it to be done. Didn't he ever have a mother? I wish she'd had the sense to strangle him at birth, then my life might have turned out differently.

I wonder what happened to Nadine and the other girls. Merdan wouldn't care if he just left them where they fell. I hope they get a proper burial some day. I'd like to organise it, or ask Master J if it can be done. If anyone can do it then Qui-Gee can.

And my own family?I'd like to have the memorial put in place. I think I will ask him about that, too. At least that way, even if they have no real grave, their names can be recorded and never forgotten.

I don't want Ben to feel like I do and I don't want him to be plagued by nightmares. I suffer enough of those for both of us.


ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE:


I asked Qui-Gee about the memorial to my family. He said that he would see that it was done as quickly as possible and that maybe we would be allowed some kind of ceremony when their names were added to the memorial. I find that prospect a little scary. I'm not like the Jedi: I can't switch my feelings on and off like a lightsabre. I'm scared that I'll cry or embarrass Evla and Ben and Master J. And then I'll look like an idiot.

I don't know how the Jedi can be so calm all the time. I wish I could learn it.

The other thing is that I think Qui-Gee is trying to get me to face things that I have problems with. And I'm not good at that. I can get by if I don't think about things too much, but when I do start to dwell on stuff I get angry or upset. Usually it's people like Ben and Evla who are only trying to help that catch my wrath. That's a good word, isn't it? Wrath? I like that! I'm going to try and work it into conversation.

I've been trying to read lots of lexicons and encyclopedias in the hope I can improve my general knowledge. I missed out on most subjects when I was on Nargotria. I learned only the things that people would teach me. I learned lots of stuff that you wouldn't see on any school syllabus either?

When I came to Coruscant I knew I'd have problems fitting in, but even I didn't realise how difficult it would be. There's so much I don't know! We got no galactic news reports on Nargotria so I had no idea about things that everyday folks on Coruscant would know about. People at sch

 

LOL at Quiggy's hair!

This was a rather sad and serious post. But just as well-written as the rest. I hope that Ben finds someone to confide in, as well as Jemmy. Face the past is often much more difficult than living in the present, but it needs to be done.

Great job!

 

That was so cute.

 

Blerg! I wouldn't want to clean out that pool filter.

Hmmmmm... So Ben's always been a bit jealous of Jemmy's diary... Hopefully he'll find someone to confide in and she'll write it all down so we know what's wrong.

 

ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE:


It's An-Paj's birthday today. At least that?s what Ben says. Jedi don't really celebrate their birthdays officially. Some of them don't even remember! Personally I think it's just an excuse so when someone asks how old they are they just give a grunt and shrug their shoulders. Saves all that embarrassing adding up on their fingers and coming to a conclusion they won't like?

The force can sometimes allow people to extend their allotted life span. That's why a lot of the older Jedi look younger than they really are (they say that looking young is down to genetics but it's really down to the midiwhatsits swimming in their blood) and can still do really neat acrobatics and flips and stuff at a time when most people are sitting in an old folks home dribbling quietly in a corner. Take Mace, for example. He's not that much younger than Quiggy! But in spite of the infamous shiny head he's still quite smart! And Master Berlingside is just?well, Corellian! Which is to say he's naturally wonderful. Quiggy's not too old looking either for someone of his advanced years.

Ben told me a story about an old master generations ago who could use the force to stay alive for ever such a long time, but he abused his power into keeping him going when he should have been dust a century before. One day he just disintegrated, right in the middle of a council session! Well, I know these meetings are boring (people seem to come out looking like death after one of Mace's lectures) but I think that's taking it a bit far!

Anyway, back to An-Paj. He's the one with the antennae and six wives I interviewed for my school project. You know, I really want to do something nice for him because he was so patient with me when I was sick and at death's door. When I first came here everyone seemed to think I was going to die. Then I tasted the infirmary food and became convinced they were right! But even this didn't see me off, and I think it's about time I did something good for him. Even when I bit him he didn't seem to mind!

Actually, you read about strange people like that in the holonews. Fortunately I don't think An-Paj is like that!

What do you get a man who has six wives? Well, something that doesn't look bad coming from a ten-year-old? Hmm, ponder this problem further, I will!

At school I was given a new wildlife project. I'm fed up with these things! It's to tie in with our dreaded school camp trip: the one I'm working hard to not go on. Sizzley's doing ducks! The little snot stole my creature! She stuck her hand in the air quicker than me and got in first! I sooooo wanted to do ducks. It's like she knew!

Well, so be it. If I can't do ducks then I will pick something different from all the other kids?something interesting and a little bit freaky! And I have just the thing:

Bloodseekers!

These are horrible little critters. They can be found in jungles and swamp-like conditions. Many different varieties exist on various planets. Basically, they're leaches. Urgh! You think that's bad? Wait until you hear this: they fly! It's like all your worst nightmares come true! If you have so much as a scratch they will home in on you like a heat-seeking missile! They have tiny little moving circular mouthparts that fasten on to a person and saw right into your skin to let the blood flow more readily. They attack in swarms and can strip an animal to its bones or drink it dry within several minutes. Don't they sound lovely? Take more than insect repellant to deter them!

Wonder if I can get some for Sizzley?


ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX:


I gave An-Paj his present. It's not much - but it's the thought that counts. And the answer to my question about what to get a man with six wives?

Easy! A set of ear plugs so he can't hear all the arguing over whose present was the most thoughtful! Or the most practical! Or knitted in the most unfetching colours?

An-Paj adores his wives and loves his family. But something tells me my little earpl

 

Dang, I know that vision doesn't mean he'll die (unless this is serious AU), but I feel so bad for Jemmy. I remember the earplug gift and laughing so hard at that.

 

What a lovely post. I felt bad for Jemmy, too. She's had a hard lot, and while her life has certainly taken a great turn for the better, it still isn't smooth--far from it. Wonderful insight on Jedi facing death and suffering all the time. Someone should reassure her that they don't find it easy, either.

Poor Ben! You write him very well, though--that's just how I would expect him to react. No fear, no anger, just a little sadness--not for himself, but for others. Will he tell Quiggy?

 

So, we'd all love more.

 

Sorry I haven't commented before now. Let's just say that last week was a horrible week and leave it at that.

Poor Jemmy! She can't help but love those she's gotten close to even though she feels she needs to protect herself from doing just that. But she's made of sterner stuff! She's Corellian!

Just look at how she's dealing with Sizzley and An-Paj's birthday pressie for examples!

 

I just found this about 7 hours ago, LOTS to read!

I have laughed, I've cried, and I've had more "awwww" moments than I can begin to count.

Can't wait to read more.

 

Thanks, everyone! Hope the week got better for you, Mouse.

And thanks also Aya Na Bashu. Glad you've liked it so far.

 

Thanks, everyone! Hope the week got better for you, Mouse.

And thanks also Aya Na Bashu. Glad you've liked it so far.



ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY EIGHT:

I'm staying with Evla when Quiggy and Ben leave on their mission. But Evla still has to work shifts in the evening at the crèche which means that this time I will get the benefit of G'emela's company.

I'm not worried. I'm actually kinda curious about her. Sure, she does have a reputation as a bit of snooper but now that I know I don't actually have to live with the woman and put up with any horrible defects she has I feel as if I can cope. And let's face it, anything has to be better than Sal-Fina, right?

I shall miss both of my boys. It seems the moment they come back they are sent away again. Will it always be like that, do you think? I guess it doesn't matter so much now that I have Evla, although it won't stop me worrying about Ben. Imagine telling me he was going to get shot in the stomach?!? What kind of idiot does something like that??? Okay, I did ask him but even so?is he trying to give me nightmares? Gods, I shall be sooooo worried I won't be able to eat a thing!

Actually, thinking about food has left me rather hungry. Wonder what's in the R.U that I can eat? I could just about eat a Nerf on toast!


ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE:

Now that I've finished eating I can get back to worrying about Ben. Still, if somebody shoots you in the stomach it doesn't necessarily mean you die, right? I was looking up the medi-volume and it says that if there's a good place to have a wound then it's the stomach area.

There's a good place to have a wound?!? How mad is that???
Apparently it has something to do with blood flow and all those weird intestine-things that are looped around inside us. What I want to know is why we need so much of the stuff! Why doesn't it all pop out of our ears or nose? I mean, if I cut myself open would my guts sort of plop out onto the floor?

Please note this is just theory. I have no wish to find out the real answer.

So, I'm assuming that if Ben met with a stomach-related accident then they could ship him back to the infirmary and then either sew him back together or just cut away the bits he doesn't need? I really wish we didn't need innards. They're not nice to look at. I don't know why anyone would want to be a healer or a surgeon. What's so satisfying about being up to your elbows in offal? Yeuch! And can you believe that some people actually eat them?!?

Innards, that is. Not the healers.

I don't understand this love of devouring Reek kidneys or liver and stuff like that. Some people even eat animal tongue!!! Never eat anything that's been inside an animal's mouth, that's what Nadine always used to say! Besides, how do you know how healthy the poor beast was before it got knocked on the head and cut up to make rump steaks? Just think of that the next time you sit down to your breakfast of Shaak testicles and fried Kaadu colon!

Actually, I feel slightly sick now. I think I'll put the medi-book away?


ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY:

Quiggy wanted to know why I spent the last half-hour with my head over the fresher. I just groaned and locked the door.

Abattoirs are probably not terribly clean, either. Poor creatures. It's enough to make you shake Sizzley by the hand and tell her you're joining her quest to convert the known galaxy to vegetarianism. I think she maybe has a point. Perhaps I just didn't want to see it before.

Once you've seen a real abattoir nothing ever shocks you. I lived in a place that amounted to the same thing. I have a lot of sympathy for the humble Reek, waiting its turn to be 'offed'. We all felt like that when we were there. I once saw someone blasted in the back by a guard at close range. I then saw the guard get shot in the head for messing up Merdan's shirt with the blood of the first poor soul. I can't even remember her name now; I was so young at the time. I wish I could

 

Innards, that is. Not the healers.

I don't understand this love of devouring Reek kidneys or liver and stuff like that. Some people even eat animal tongue!!! Never eat anything that's been inside an animal's mouth, that's what Nadine always used to say! Besides, how do you know how healthy the poor beast was before it got knocked on the head and cut up to make rump steaks? Just think of that the next time you sit down to your breakfast of Shaak testicles and fried Kaadu colon!

LOL, this was an exact summary of me in the early days of living in California, when I'd see brain tacos, intestine enchiladas, etc. and go "You've GOT to be kidding me!" And then people started making those things for us and it was impolite to refuse... ANyway, very funny stuff. I like "When hoth melts."

 

And Master Windu's not very keen on bugs. Something about accidentally eating roaches when he was padawan. 'Creepycrawlaphobia', perhaps?

Ah, the imagination of a 10 yo.

I'm having real problems imagining Mace Windu as a padawan.

 

Okay, if Ben has a stomach related incident, how will it effect his eating habits? Or will it? Maybe some of those poor starving Jedi will finally get something to eat.

I think Jemmy might be having the effects of reading in the medi-book as well as her two boys going away. (That was such an Awwww! moment when she called them that.)

Fabulous Jem!!

 

Aw, what a great post! Poor Jemmy, worrying herself sick about Ben. Yeah, stay away from those med-books! I learned that lesson a long time ago.

Hilarious.

Hope Ben isn't seriously hurt on this mission.

 

great post. I hope Ben doesn't get shot, but knowing what he's like he probably will.

 

ENTRY TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE:


I have to learn a musical instrument at school. This is the latest form of torture I have to be subjected to in the name
of education.

I like music but I have no real urge to anticipate in it. Music is something that should be enjoyed, you know? I always say that if the workload exceeds the output then there's no point in doing it, and playing an instrument falls into this category. All that puffing and going red in the face? Or dislocating your elbow and getting a repetitive stress injury as a result? Or suffering from severe tinitus and deafness? No thank you!

Besides which I just can't be bothered.

Alas, I have no say in the matter. I have been told I have to learn an instrument. I did think about a drum of some sort because that way when I'm bashing away at it I can pretend it's Sal-Fina's face. But it looks like I'm going to have to learn some kind of wind instrument. I quite fancied a kloohorn because of all the twiddly extra bits but I have been told it's too adventurous for someone so young. Translation: I'm too small and wouldn't have the puff to get a note out of it. Well, see if I care! All that moisture and spittle dribbling out of the end of the wretched thing! Who in the name of the force wants to sit and drool all day?

Other than Ben when he's eyeing up his latest red head.

I don't know what it is about Ben and girls who have read hair. I mean, I don't want to make out like he's a rampant, hormonally driven padawan with one thing on his mind because he's quite?well, not shy exactly. Timid? Or perhaps just too respectful of people to think of them in any kind of way that might be thought of as improper. But the problem with the Jedi order in general (at least on the surface) is that most kinds of 'normal' behavior is considered improper. I don't think they're supposed to spend much time thinking about love and soppy stuff like that. Romantic love is pointless. It gets in the way.

And it makes you have to pay for all the candle-lit dinners?

Anyway, back to Ben and his red headed fetish. I don't think anyone else has notices except for me but I've often seen him smiling at girls with ginger hair. I mean really smiling. Not in a way that the Jedi tend to approve of. So I think there's something a bit strange there. Although I have chestnut hair and he never smiles at me like that, so maybe that knocks my theory on the head. I think I should be relieved at that, really, as I'm not looking for a long-term boyfriend. I'm only ten, and Master Jinn doesn't want me to look at anyone until I'm old and ugly like he is, so that nobody will bother to look my way!

Well, that's fine with me because all men are troublemakers or maniacs. Or, if you're really bad you might get a trouble making maniac. And they lie very badly. If you're going to go to the trouble of telling fibs you might as well make it convincing! Some of them are idiots as well, but if you get an idiot I suppose you should consider that you've done quite well for yourself.

This is how I split people into categories:

Maniacs

Keleskladt (dead, thankfully)
Rufus Merdan (not dead, unfortunately)
Gabriel Levinstowe (I live in hope)
Sophie Digwurt (ditto)
Mr. Kingley at my school (who looks like an axe-murderer)
Sal-Fina (one Jawa short of a scrap-heap)
Master H'darri (who the force has rendered incapable of raising a smile)
The cooks at the refectory (who have not one functioning tastebud between them)
Ferdi Xadaani (who eats the patients who don't make it through the night - allegedly
Junine Vyatt (dull, spiteful and?did I say dull?)
Ambianca Macieak (couldn't lightsabre her way out of a flimsy bag, the evil little snot!)


Trouble Makers

Master Berlingside (In a roguish, Corellian way)
Menali-Jay Abran (smart-mouthed, but I like him!)
Kryztan Harkley (a self-opin

 

Love the commments on Ben and Sal-Fina!

Another lovely post! I love music, but I can see her point of view. Hope it goes well for her.