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Before - Legends Jewel Bugs - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan - one-post - Humor

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Sep 7, 2008.

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  1. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 16, 2004
    Title: Jewel Bugs
    Author: ardavenport
    Timeframe: Pre-TPM, Before the Saga
    Genre: humor, mush
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, OCs
    Keywords Jedi, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, walking, plains
    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan attend a gathering of delegates and have a mishap on the way.
    And: typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox

    Obi-Wan Kenobi was warm under the hood of his robe.

    Not quite too warm to take it off. Not quite.

    Next to him, Qui-Gon Jinn sat up straight in his seat as well, his arms folded before him. Their thighs were pressed close together on the cushy seat, expansively wide for a single diminutive native of this world, but only just wide enough for two adult Humans from a Core World of the Galactic Republic.

    Their car thrummed rhythmically with their forward motion on the elevated rail it traveled on, the low rumble of the transport, slightly audible through the soundproofing, felt through the body just as much as the ear. And the Force.

    Obi-Wan felt his Master's presence most strongly, like the shared body heat where their robes, legs and arms touched. There were no stray thoughts between them, just the Force. It flowed through them, like the breath of life, renewing their travel weary bodies. . . .

    Obi-Wan opened his eyes, immediately aware that they were finally approaching their destination. Qui-Gon stirred, his posture shifting very subtly from inner hyper-aware contemplation to the more ordinary attention to the senses of the body. The air in their traveling compartment suddenly felt more confined.

    Pu Pyoodles slept in the seat opposite Obi-Wan, gentle snores escaping from the small, full-lipped and pink-painted mouth resting on his bare, protuberant belly that was squashed next to his gifting box, in the seat opposite Qui-Gon. Gentle fluttering sounds came from the side air holes of the box, emblazoned with large yellow and green inspection and certification labels.

    Outside, the sky above the plains below shimmered with greens, purples and pinks with the fierce interactions of stellar particle bursts and the atmosphere and the planet's unstable magnetic field that made floater transports sometimes unreliable on his world. Ahead of them rose a mountain, half natural rock, half ancient city, a gaping tunnel entrance ready to swallow up their long transport train.

    They had nearly reached their final destination.

    Obi-Wan flexed individual muscles in place, reviving circulation after sitting in place for so long. The seat, though comfortably padded, was too low to the floor and his knees stuck up though not as badly as Pu or Qui-Gons'.

    Qui-Gon tensed. More than he needed to.

    Looking all around him, Obi-Wan tried to identify what had alerted his Master. Qui-Gon leaned his head toward the wide windowpane of their compartment.

    "We're coming in too fast," he said. Their transport bounced too strongly under them in confirmation; the sound of it increased, reverberating off the walls of the terminal they had just entered.

    Standing, Obi-Wan turned toward the door opposite the window, but knew immediately that there was more danger in leaving than in staying.

    "Hunh!" Pu Pyoodles squealed when two Jedi threw themselves over him and his box, his mouth trunk squirming and trying to poke out from the folds of Obi-Wan's robe.

    The huge thump and jolt forward struck at the same time. Lights flickering, their safe transport instantly became a cell of too close padded walls, slamming into them from every direction.


    Pu's mouth found its way out from under Obi-Wan's clothes and filled the compartment with a terrified scream. The Pa'lowick's skinny limbs flailed while Obi-Wan tried to keep his flabby body in place, but a sideways jolt broke them loose.
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    So Qui-Gon mooned them - well almost. I assume he still had underwear on. [face_laugh]

    Very funny!
  3. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 26, 2007
    lol that was good.
  4. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    Hasn't Lucas said that there isn't any underwear in the Star Wars universe??? [face_whistling]

    That was hilarious, insightful and unexpected. I loved how differently Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan reacted to the situation. Qui-Gon's performance literally brought a huge grin to my face. So funny and so in character for him.

    And you really do come up with the best character names. ;) Original and well-written, as always!
  5. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 1, 2007
  6. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999

    That was so funny!

    "I would not say that I did not care about upsetting the Tudans," Qui-Gon said to the window and the sky display outside before turning his dark blue eyes back to his apprentice. "I would say I enjoyed it."

    Obi-Wan's suppressed smile quirked at his lips.

    "I would say that the other delegates enjoyed it quite a bit. But, it wasn't very . . . diplomatic."

    "No," Qui-Gon agreed with a sigh. "It would seem that I still have much to learn. You have come to be much more the diplomat than I, my young Padawan."

    Thanks for another great story, ardavenport! =D=
  7. Seremela

    Seremela Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 12, 2008
    =D= Oh, YES!!! Another Ardavenport!!!!!

    I have by now read all your stories here and I was definitely having withdrawal problems, so I'm very happy for this dose. And for the laugh, because this story is priceless!!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I love the difference between Obi-Wan's distinct discomfort and Qui-Gon's calm - and then Obi-Wan's realization about where those last bugs had to be. And how embarrasing he found it all! Also loved, very much, the picture of eh... ahem... a 'bejuweled' Qui-Gon [face_love] And then there's the nice thinking of a Mon Calamari with evil plans.... :D

    I don't know how you are able to come up with these things, but again you give me this true feeling for strange other worlds and civilizations (I just know they're really out there when I read your stories) and I love that!

  8. azizah

    azizah Jedi Knight star 1

    Sep 4, 2006
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I loved this

    "I would not say that I did not care about upsetting the Tudans," Qui-Gon said to the window and the sky display outside before turning his dark blue eyes back to his apprentice. "I would say I enjoyed it."

    Very Qui-Gon. Poor Obi-Wan.

    This was hilarious and insightful as usual. Great work.

  9. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    lovely story and Qui-Gon quite the rebel isn't he?[face_laugh]

    EECHUUTA Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 19, 2007
    Good story :D Qui-Gon sure knows how to be "diplomatic" [face_laugh]
  11. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 16, 2004
    dianethx: Thanks! Underwear? I'm not sure Qui-Gon is familiar with the concept. [face_mischief]

    JediKaren: Thank-you!

    LuvEwan: Yeah, underwear? What's that? [face_mischief] The differences between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's reaction is part of the fun. Thanks for reading!

    ratna: :D

    Bastet: Thanks! :)

    Seremela: Thank-you! And thank-you for reading my other stories, too! They like being read.;) And Qui-Gon is older and more experienced, so he's not going to be disturbed by some things that might be completely new to Obi-Wan. And I don't think Qui-Gon would be shy about showing all, given the circumstances. I really do try to picture myself in the character's position; it makes writing the scenes around them easier.

    azizah: Thank-you! Though he might embarrass his padawan, Qui-Gon would be honest about it.

    earlybird-obi-wan: Yep, Qui-Gon the rogue. Thanks!

    EECHUUTA: Yeah, Qui-Gon is quite the diplomat. [face_mischief] Thanks for the reply!

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