Lit Join Me and Achieve Perfection: A Reread of The Glove of Darth Vader

This is it. The final entry. A moment I've both been looking forward to and dreading. As these chapter summaries/commentaries have become longer and more detailed, they've also become much more time consuming, as you can probably tell by my chronic laziness increased time between entries. On one hand, it's nice to have one less responsibility (ha). On the other, I really am going to miss doing these. They were consistently fun, and always offered a lighthearted release.

I'll save most of the actual bookends for later. For now, let's get to it, shall we? It's not like we're gonna get another chance.

Chapter 7: The Red Carpet

The Final Chapter

For several heartbeats, Luke and Ken are silent inside the tubular transport. Then, realizing time is running short to have a nice heart-to-heart, Ken seizes the moment.

"Triclops is my father, Luke," Ken said in dismay. "I know it now."


"How do you know that?" Luke asked in a shocked but calm, steady voice.


"Kadann used the Jedi computer to show me my mother and father," Ken explained. "This 
means I’m also the grandson of Emperor Palpatine. Dee-Jay knew the secret all along, and 
he never told me!" The boy paused to choke down his tears. "So now you know the terrible 
truth. You now know where I come from-from evil."

Not gonna lie, it does explain a lot.

"You’re forgetting that my father was Darth Vader," Luke replied, staring into Ken’s 
troubled eyes. "He too was devoted to evil. But the good in him survived deep within his 
heart, and at the very end of his life, it won out."


"All this time I thought . . . I hoped that my father would turn out to be Obi-Wan
 Kenobi," Ken said, glancing down. "But instead-this is the worst news I could have heard,
 Luke. I don’t deserve to be part of the Rebel Alliance."


"The fact that my father chose a path of evil is no reflection on me," Luke explained. "It
 doesn’t mean that I’m any less of a person, or any less of a man. Unlike my father, I 
proved myself strong enough to resist the lure of the Dark Side. And you’ve got to prove
 yourself strong enough to do the same too."


"And what if I’m not strong enough?" Ken asked.


"You will be," Luke replied. "Ken, no one is responsible for who their parents are. Or
 their grandparents. The choices they made in their lives are their own. But the choices we 
make are our own. We can’t blame ourselves for the evil that our parents and grandparents 
did-only for what we do. And so it’s up to each of us to make the right choices in life,
to trust in the Force, and become the person that we know we should be."

What's this? Genuine words of wisdom from Luke Skywalker? I'm not sure what's gotten into Luke these past two chapters, but I think I like it. It can't be sheer coincidence that Luke takes a level in badass just after he's shot with a stun blast... perhaps Luke owes his awesomeness in the upcoming Shadows of Mindor to that anonymous Stormtrooper?

Ken's stomach is upset by the sheer speed in which the tubular transport ascends, but he latches onto the steady heartbeat of the stunned Mooka in his arms. Suddenly, the tubular transport comes to a grinding halt, as the power fails and the lights switch off. Luke and Ken are stuck under ground, with no skateboard in sight.

We switch scenes to the Senate building on Yavin IV. I normally summarize purely descriptive passages, but the sheer command of the English language here has to be seen to be truly appreciated.

At the Senate building on Yavin Four, before Triclops could be given the special chemical
made from the macaab mushroom, something strange overcame him. Triclops sat down to write
a letter, but when he was done, he suddenly changed from a passive and gentle person to an
angry maniac with superhuman strength.

That escalated... oh forget it.

The guards are shocked at the display of power they had no idea he possessed, and before any of them remembers to shoot, Triclops rips the blaster pistols from their hands, crushes them, and hurls the guards against the laboratory door. He proceeds to Hulk smash some high security doors, and we promptly switch back to Ken and Luke.

"Ksssshhhhhh," Zeebo whined timidly. "Kssssh?"


"Uh-oh," Ken said despondently. "Looks like we’re history.".

You have to admire the sunny optimism of youth.

"Aren’t you forgetting something, Ken?" Luke asked, putting a hand on the young Jedi
 Prince’s shoulder.


"Like what?"


"The Force. With trust in the Force, we can do anything," Luke said. "Even move tons of
 solid steel. Once I watched Yoda use the Force to lift my spaceship out of the swamps of 
Dagobah-it floated, weightless, until he set it down. The Force is a Jedi’s strength, Ken.
 The Force is the power that flows through all things, the power behind the light of the 
stars-"


In the darkness, Luke began to banish all other thoughts from his mind, putting himself in 
total harmony with the Force, letting its power and energy flow through him. He breathed
 slowly, evenly, forgetting about the rising and falling of his chest, the inhales, the
 exhales. Only one thought remained in his mind-the wonder of the Force.


Suddenly there was a brief jolt, and the transport rose several inches. A few seconds 
passed. Then came a slow, gliding movement upward, as the power of the Force helped the
 transport move several feet farther. There was about a mile left to go.


"Help me, Ken," Luke said. "Empty your mind . . . feel the Force."

I'm starting to really like this guy. It's weird.

Ken tried to banish his fears and all other thoughts from his mind.


"Kshshshshshsh," Zeebo moaned, trembling in Ken’s arms. Ken knew that this tubular 
transport was like a deep underground coffin. If it never moved again, the transport would
 become their tomb-in a million years, some explorer might find this elevator shaft and
 discover their remains.


But Ken knew he had to stop thinking about that. He knew he had to have positive
 thoughts-thoughts of life, not death.


"Only the Force, Ken," Luke said. "Keep your whole mind, your entire being, focused on the
 Force."

Suddenly the tubular transport began to move. It ascended slowly at first, and then it
 accelerated, going faster and faster as it continued to rise inside the elevator 
shaft-powered only by the pure energy of the Force.


When the tubular transport finally arrived Topworld, its door slid open, and dazzling 
green light filtered through the leaves of the rain forest and reflected brightly in their
 eyes. As their eyes adjusted to the sunlight, Luke, Ken, and Zeebo slowly stepped outside 
the transport and into the rain forest.

If Luke can inspire even Ken to be occasionally useful, I think he'll do just fine as a Jedi teacher.

There's a big reunion that includes Leia, Han, Chewbacca, the droids, cigar chomping Mon Mothma, and others who aren't worth mentioning. We're told it's very happy. The only thing that's lacking is the Sky House. Come to think of it, there's been a distinct lack of Sky House in general the past few books. It's not right.

Because the Davidses know full well that your desk doesn't have enough cranium-sized dents, they offer this little gem before they can wrap things up.

"Well, at last it seems that we’re all one big happy family once again," Threepio said
 cheerfully. "That is, if the word family isn’t reserved for only humans and can be
 expanded to include droids."


"Of course you’re part of our family, Threepio," Luke said with a smile. "And Wookiees are 
part of our family, too-right, Chewie?"


"Awwwooooooo!" Chewbacca howled happily.


"Kshshshshhhh," Zeebo purred, as if wanting mookas to be included as well.

My brain is threatening to explode under the stress of actually trying to imagine this exchange coming out of the original actors mouths. There has never been a fluff overload quite like this one. In my mind, there is much bear hugging in this section.

After the bear hugging begins to subside, our Big Damn Heroes remember that they still haven't caught their Big Bad. Kadann is still out there, and he's surely pissed. Leia, ever the advocate of peaceful diplomacy, suggests disabling the tubular transport and starving Kadann to death (the Rebels of the Jedi Prince series really don't **** around). Unfortunately, Luke reminds her about the steam vents. If Luke could use them to get into the city, then a crafty devil like Kadann could find a way to use them to get back up. Also, Jedgar, Gornash, and a few others are down there with him, so he could just eat them.

Despite this, Leia insists that the best move at the moment would be to destroy the beloved tubular transport. Ken is sad on hearing this, realizing that he'll never see the Lost City again, will never again be able to pull Dee-Jay's metal beard, never again stalk lone droids at night and butcher them in secluded alleyways.

As they make their way back to the Senate building, Ken wonders whether Triclops knew about their relationship, and decides to confront him about it (why oh why couldn't Ken decide to have this heart-to-heart talk when Triclops was in the midst of his murderous rampage?). Surprise surprise, Triclops is gone by the time they get back. The last anyone had seen of him was of him leaving, presumably with a host of dead Rebels that no one cares about in his wake, his third eye on the back of his head bulging with the promise of doom at all who would dare come after him.




But Triclops- who meaningfully is referred to as "Ken's father" here- has left something for Ken. A personal letter, possibly laying in a pool of Rebel blood.


Dear Ken,

I’ve missed you ever since you were taken from me and sent to live with the droids in the 
Lost City of the Jedi. I’ve known since the day you and Luke rescued me back on Duro that
 you are my son. I knew by the birth crystal you wore.


I know what a shock it must have been for you to realize that your grandfather was Emperor
 Palpatine. And the things I must do in the days ahead will surely shock you just as much.
All I can say is, do not believe all the terrible things you will hear about me.

Trust in me. And if the day comes when you can no longer have faith in me, then trust in
 the Force, as your Jedi mother Kendalina did. Perhaps then you will discover that there is 
goodness in my heart.


Until we meet again,

Your loving father,
Triclops

The "perhaps you will discover that there is goodness in my heart" line is a lot less convincing when you think that he probably had to write it in between snapping puny security guard necks.

Ken decides to keep the letter a secret, because of course he does. In true Ken fashion, however, he doesn't keep it a total secret, because he can't commit to anything. He tells Luke about the letter, but says he'll tell Luke what was in it "some day". THEN WHY EVEN TELL HIM THERE'S A LETTER GAH!



I'm convinced Ken is just the type of person that likes knowing things that other people don't, but is not content until you know he knows things you don't. I've known many people like that, but I've never known one that I didn't want to roll into a carpet and throw off a bridge.

Ken is also convinced that his father will one day be found. He doesn't have a space ship, after all, so he's confined to Yavin IV (well that screams unresolved plotline. Too bad there's no story of one of Luke's students running into a crazy, three eyed forest hermit, and accidentally skewering him after mistaking him for a Massassi). In the meantime, Ken asks if Luke can get SPIN to organize a search party.

"I’m sure Mon Mothma will agree to that," Luke said. "But there are hundreds of caves and
 thickets here in the rain forest where Triclops could hide and never be detected for years
 and years. In the meantime, there are other things we must worry about, Ken," Luke
 continued, "such as getting ready for Leia and Han’s big day!"

And thanks to the magic of storytelling, that big day is now. In a truly momentous occasion, Han Solo and Leia Organa are to be married. The sky is clear, love is in the air, and a murdering superhuman psychopath is on the loose. A wonderful day to be married. It Aside from a lingering doubt on all who attend that such an event should be held in the Sky House, all are happy, even though there are no bumper cars or holographic roller coasters in sight.

But it's not just a special day for Han and Leia. It's a very special occasion for Luke as well, who is to give away his sister to his best friend. It's also a big day for Ken, because it just is.

The ceremony is grand, and reminds Luke of the celebration following the destruction of the first Death Star. Practically the same location, and the same level of happiness (a marriage incites the same level of joy as the destruction of a planet destroying superweapon that was aimed firmly at you? Damn, the GFFA is even more into celebrity marriages than we are).

Presiding over the ceremony is Mon Mothma, presumably having changed out of her battle camo. Princess Leia is standing at the end of the aisle, holding a bouquet of pale white flowers, wearing a dress of white as pure and radiant as the one she had worn when Luke had first met her. Despite all the hardships, all the terrible trials she's had to face (though she didn't face many of them in this series), in this moment she is happy. She glances around at the procession, and her joy increases with every face. Ken (ew). Chewbacca (with a bow tie!), acting as Han's best man. The droids, with Threepio and Artoo sharing the title of Best Droid (that's a thing? Threepio gets seriously downgraded then, as I seem to recall him spending Han and Leia's real marriage in COPL deactivated in a broom closet). Nothing can ruin this moment. Not even a bunch of Imperials. Or Waru.

As the time for Leia to say "I do" draws ever closer, Leia Organa, who has faced down the fury of Trioculus, is nervous. Attempting to calm herself, she draws on the Force. And for an instant, she is overcome with a vision of the future.

It was a glimpse of a time to come-a time when Leia would live with Han peacefully and
safely in his sky house, floating in the air near Cloud City. It was also a time after
their children had already been born.

Leia saw Han sitting with their children-there were two of them, one on each knee-as Han
told the kids stories about his adventures flying the Millennium Falcon in the days of the
great battles against the evil Empire.

Would their children be twins? Taking a quick breath, Leia wondered if she and Han could
possibly handle twins. She struggled to glimpse the hazy vision more clearly, to see
whether their children were to be boys or girls-or a boy and a girl? But her vision
vanished before the answer came to her.

SKY HOUSE!!!!

Ahem. Sorry, that's all I saw.

And with that tantalizing, skyhousy view of the future, we breathe the final words of the Jedi Prince Saga.

Leia nodded to herself, ready to accept whatever was to come her way. She then stared at
the long red carpet that made a path between her and the altar.

Enjoying the scent of her bouquet of bright flowers, Leia glanced over at her brother
Luke, and exchanged another smile. Then she turned her gaze toward Han, her husband-to-be.
He looked at her adoringly in return and smiled, as she prepared to take her first steps
down the aisle.

Commentary: AND THEN THE IMPERIALS ATTACK!

Fin.

...

Right, well, in greater context, not such a happy ending. Han and Leia are happy. Imperials invade. Crap gets blown up. People die. Cake gets ruined. Very unpleasant.

I'm going to be doing one final post after this, outlining some final thoughts on the series as a whole (yep, this isn't really the final entry. I lied to you. *evil cackling*), so for now I'll center myself on the events of this chapter. And, depending on what standard of quality we're using here, it might just be the best chapter in the series.

It's also a terrifying chapter. Terrifying, you ask (great, this reread has scattered my marbles so much that I'm having conversations with myself.)? You're damn right it's terrifying. Until now, the Jedi Prince series has been a very self-contained story. It has, in more ways than one, been Star Wars in name only; the universe it built up around itself was conceivable, I suppose in the way that bunnies that kill you in your dreams are conceivable, using nothing but the films as context. But with the rest of the EU? Yeah, it fits in with that established universe about as well as toddler slaughter fits in with pacifism. Before now, there's been little to no attempt to tie it into that larger universe. But here, we get explicit foreshadowing to future EU events. Here, the Jedi Prince series asserts itself as part of the larger EU, and all who oppose can do naught but tremble.

Of course, the entire vision doesn't come true. She does have twins, and though there's no Anakin in sight, we'll just assume Leia was a little fuzzy on the details. But the single most important aspect of the vision, more important than the children by far, is the Sky House. It breaks me up inside to know that Leia was shown her hearts greatest desire, only to have it cruelly ripped away from her. To know that true eternal happiness was within her grasp, but it was destroyed by the Vong and Troy Denning. The Force outright lies to her here. It can't do that! Or maybe the Sky House is a metaphor, for happiness or contentment or something. The Force, always working in riddles. Sometimes you just want to drown it.

In other news, Luke continues his streak of Not Sucking. Two in a row so far, easily a new record for this series. Though it is a little late in the game, it seems the Davidses decided that if Luke is going to be a teacher, he should probably occasionally spout some helpful advice to the young, inexperienced character. While one could argue that Luke does sound like a fortune cookie in the first part of this chapter, I'll take fortune cookie Luke over punching bag Luke any day.

It is interesting to speculate on what happens following the conclusion of this series. The Davidses have said that, if they had written a seventh book, it would have opened with an Imperial attack on the wedding. I, for one, actually really love the idea of Han and Leia attempting to get married soon after ROTJ, but the wedding being interrupted. For one, it helps stave off a common, and very justified complaint about The Courtship of Princess Leia, namely that Han and Leia were completely in love at the end of ROTJ, but four years later Han had to resort to kidnapping her to get her eyes off some handsome prince. If an Imperial attack crashes Han and Leia's wedding, almost certainly killing several guests, that would serve as a rude reminder to both Han and Leia that the galaxy is not a safe place, that the war is not won, and at least for Leia, there are still far too many things she is responsible for. For better or for worse, a recurring theme of Leia's character is that she has trouble balancing her responsibilities to the Alliance/New Republic with other things, such as Jedi training, her family and her own personal happiness. With that characterization in mind, I find it very easy to believe that Leia would elect to put off getting married after the first attempt was such a disaster. Han, in response, would also become more involved in the Rebellion, leading to his activities as a general in the Wraith trilogy, until he finally gets fed up with it and quits.

And of course, there's the 800 pound elephant in the room... Ken. What happens to him? Do we care? Not really, but it is interesting to think about. Could he be one of the casualties of the ensuing Imperial attack? Does he become a Jedi? Does he go on to fight in the Yuuzhan Vong war (and die horribly?) I'm not sure. It's a mark of failure on this series, I'd say, that after six books, we know so little about Ken's character that we really have little idea on what he'd want to do. We get an idea that he wants to be a Jedi, so I suppose he'd go for that, but what is he going to be doing in the several years between this series and Luke's founding of the Praxeum? I guess he could always go for a Masters degree at Dagobah tech...

So, how does this chapter function as an ending? It's... serviceable, I suppose. It certainly doesn't tie everything up, and in many ways it is evident that they were leaving it open for a sequel. Kadann, though incapacitated, is still alive (in a galaxy where Trioculus and Hissa had to die. It's truly not fair). Triclops is at large, dangerous and really damn crazy. It's not so much a well-crafted, thematically pleasing ending as it is just an ending. But the very last section, with Leia looking towards the future (if only she could see five minutes into the future) isn't a bad place to end.

And... I think that's it. Huh, would you look at that. Normally this is where I'd say "until next time", but you know. It's been my tremendous pleasure transcribing the silliest, most overlooked part of the Star Wars franchise. I hope that I've brought a greater understanding of the EU's dirty little secret to some of you, and hope that I've spread enjoyment of this series to those who might have never otherwise experienced it. I actually mean it when I say that I hope you guys have enjoyed reading these as much as I've enjoyed writing them.

Just one more post, and this thread can be allowed to die.

 

Well done, I can't believe its finally over.

I thought this chapter (and the one before it) were some of the best in the series. I wish we could have had a little bit more of a happier ending, though as there were more books planned after this, it's hard to judge. Anyways, it does make me sad to see Leia dreaming about living in the Sky House when we know it is never to be. I'm not sure why that wasn't carried on. It's really not that far fetched. I would like to believe that Ken eventually grew up into a productive person, maybe even a Jedi. Its sad there isn't a mention of him after this series. There was a lot that could have been taken from this series and built upon. I guess in the early days every author wanted to create everything themselves to leave their mark in the SW Universe.

Overall, despite the goofiness and sometimes lacking characterization, this is still a great series to read. If you accept it for what it was meant to be. I will continue to read it from time to time, and sure as hell will read it to my daughters.

Thanks, again, for taking the time to do this read through. This has been one of my favorite threads on here for the past few months. I sure you will want a break, but I hope you decide to do this with another series in the future. You have my support

Well if anyone else needs a fix of Paul Davids, now that this read through is over, part 2 of my interview with him was released today. Check out instrutions on where to find it on my main thread, http://boards.theforce.net/threads/...ng-interview-with-paul-davids.50017154/page-3

MTFBWY

 

How delightfully speciesist. Equating non-sapient creatures with the very sapient Wookiees simply because you can't understand their language.... Jedi Prince, among its other firsts, stands first among EU works in human supremacism of the worst kind -- the colonial-minded "noble savage" variety.

Actually, that letter he left Ken is pretty scary. Just the thing to include in a story before sweeping the entire plot point under the rug....

How could the Davidses not have tried their hardest to make sure the last scene of their books is as similar to the last scene of ANH as possible? I guess they should be commended for not copying the last scene of RotJ. The Davidses can't handle Ewoks. An Ewok party scene written by them would have been too... ugh.

Dee-Jay was just making sure that the spawn of Palpatine was not released into the galaxy. Why else would he be so insistent on keeping the boy locked up in the Lost City? Ken grew up in prison. He should be thankful Dee-Jay didn't throw him into a steam pipe as soon as the Jedi had entered the elevator to go Topworld.

Alas, the old droid's desire to be rid of the snot-nosed little horror won in the end, and the evil was unleashed.

That's interesting. Luke is certainly imparting true wisdom here (also known as "stating the obvious"). But the funny thing is, he's wrong. Luke is descended from Vader, who certainly was evil, but not entirely corrupted. Palpatine, on the other hand, was corruption itself, and anyone carrying his genes cannot hope for salvation.

So, if Ken does have Palpatine's genes, his future can only be dark. And for all we know, he's still out there.

There you have your villain for the sequel trilogy.

PS: Toddler slaughters are entirely consistent with pacifism. Toddlers can't fight back.

 

Maybe Leia's vision was a vacation that she and Han would take shortly after the birth of Jacen and Jaina?

As for Ken: obviously he married Elderath Pallopides and the two of them served as the figurehead rulers of the Imperial Remnant before being killed in the Fel coup de ta.
GrandAdmiralJello

 

Bravo. This is was quite the journey, and one of my favorite threads here for a very long time. You did a great job here and I'm genuinely going to miss this.

On to our fan audio drama production, I say!

Again, it's still hard for me to understand how often the phrase "tubular transport" can be used in a chapter.

Should really have ended it with, "You now know where I come from - from Hell."

I wonder if the Rebel Alliance Senate voted to legalize droid-human family relationships?

He should really meet up with Qorl.

Interesting - in Dark Empire, Han specifically mentions that he and Leia were married by Mon Mothma, even though that's not the case in COPL. I wonder if that was a reference to the plans for this wedding (or vice versa).

I liked how in Union, Threepio even starts describing that closet incident to the galactic media when Luke and Mara's wedding is announced.

I always liked the theory that he was Kenth from NJO, even if it completely doesn't work. But I feel like Kenth has the sort of bland personality someone like Ken would probably grow up to have. Plus that would mean that Ken dies in a really dumb way and that absolutely none of his friends cared about his murder after the fact.

 

Is that the Kenth that Luke makes Grand Master in FotJ?

 

It is. I think he first shows up in Luceno's NJO books.

 

That's affirmative. He's not the right age to actually be Ken, but it's a popular fan theory.

 

I would rather it be revealed that Ken, Tash and Zak went off and started their own Jedi Order.

 

I just wanted to drop in and say something that I missed out on last chapter. Remember Grizzled War Leader Mon Mothma? Yeah, when I first read the books (I was maybe eight at the time), I had just played a few rounds of Jedi Outcast multiplayer–and in multiplayer, Mon Mothma is one of the NPCs, and she always, always wields a purple-bladed lightsaber. So naturally, when I read that scene, I imagined a mighty Jedi Knight Mon Mothma, purple lightsaber in hand and still in spotless white robes of office, charging into the fray, cutting down stormtroopers! It was glorious.

Oh, and nice last chapter, too.

 

With hookers. And Blackjack.

 

Jedi Prince Reread: In Retrospect

Before I reflect on the past, I'd like to talk about the, uh, more distant past. I may have mentioned this at some point, but in some ways, I owe my membership of this forum to the Jedi Prince series. If not for this series, I might not have joined this forum, or at the very least, would have joined it much later. You people may very well owe the Jedi Prince series for the pleasure/burden of my company.

My first post on this forum was a question of whether it was worth reading the series. I was just getting into the EU, and naturally, I was overwhelmed. I was split between wanting to go a completionist route and try and read everything, or just going straight for the better stuff. I opted for the former, going in a rough publication order. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I had no idea what I was in for. It only took one look at the cover and summary of The Glove of Darth Vader to leave me a drooling, bewildered mess. Whaladons? A three eyed tyrant who boasts about having a heart? An apron wearing, cooking Han Solo that knows the space pirate boogie? I was unprepared. Nonetheless, I ultimately decided to read the series, and I don't regret it for a moment.

Anyway, thought you guys might find that amusing. I know I do, in a "did I really sound like that?" kind of way. I was so nice back then. It sickens me.

Though I have spent more hours than I care to think about reading, transcribing and summarizing this series, I find I'm having a difficult time conveying any sort of coherent thought on the experience. I've spent more time analyzing this series than I have any other literary classic, and I'm an English major. I've spoken at length about the quality of the series before, so I won't retread too much of it; I will, however, reiterate that I've enjoyed reading the Jedi Prince series more than any of the vast number of mediocre Star Wars novels, and possibly more than several of the "merely good" novels. Take Alan Dean Foster's The Approaching Storm as an example: in terms of prose and characterization, the novel is serviceable. That doesn't at all make it any less of a torturous slog to get through. It is what a freaking Star Wars book should never be: dull. By comparison, every book in the Jedi Prince series is technically inferior by a very, very wide margin. Yet, while I could use several other unflattering adjectives to describe the Jedi Prince series, it is never dull. Never boring. I would not recommend The Approaching Storm to any but the most ardent Star Wars completionist, but I would recommend the Jedi Prince series to anyone with a working sense of humor. Does this, then, not make the Jedi Prince series the "better" work? Can sheer entertainment value compensate for lack of, well, everything else? Do the guidelines that we use to judge the quality of works constrain us, and do we convince ourselves not to enjoy things we might otherwise to simply feel more intelligent? A heavier topic than this thread is used to, and not one I can begin to definitively answer. Attempting to understand this series on any level is sure to cause a brain aneurysm of Whaladon proportions. As far as I'm concerned, it can be terrible and relentlessly fun at the same time. I never claimed to be consistent.

Speaking of consistency, one of the things that surprised me about this project was just how consistent the books were. I originally only committed to recapping The Glove of Darth Vader, because I thought something like this could start off amusing, but quickly become repetitive. Hopefully I'm not alone in saying that wasn't the case at all. I can't recall recapping a single chapter that didn't have something hilarious or noteworthy in it. There was never any chapter I had to drag myself through (there's a very good reason why I will never, ever try something like this for a Jude Watson book). That has to be some kind of feat; most actual comedies struggle with retaining a certain level of levity for the entire running time. Perhaps this series is just so bad that it's perpetually funny, even in the "slower" segments.

Enough vagueness. Time to talk about specifics: the plot and characterizations of the series. The latter, I'd say, is what makes this series so bewildering to some: no one, and I do mean no one, acts like themselves. Luke Skywalker has almost all character development erased, and is reverted to a dumber version of his ANH self, and is given a taste for heavy artillery. Han Solo has absolutely none of the darkness that colors his character, and comes off like The Dad in your least favorite daytime soap opera, with perhaps a dash of a Power Ranger. Leia is... well, she's the female character, and that's apparently enough, because she has no other defining traits at all (come to think of it, I believe she may very well be the only female character in the entire series aside from Mon Mothma, or at least the only one with a speaking role. Can anyone dispute this? Very interesting, if true). Add in an outlandish overarching plot that makes no sense under even the lightest inspection, a contrived environmental message every book, and the worst child protagonist in the history of the multiverse, and you have something that feels distinctly like it belongs to another universe. And it is true that it's absolutely impossible to incorporate the Jedi Prince series into larger Star Wars canon verbatim; I would, however, suggest that most works shouldn't be taken verbatim. I, at least, would go mad that way. I just treat this series the way I do anything else: as a historical document, with varying degrees of accuracy, rather than a straight representation. The better works are the better preserved documents, and can be taken at face value. When it comes to something like a KJA novel, however, the events themselves happened, but specifics such as dialogue and inner thought are subject to interpretation. I know I don't want anything to do with a universe where characters spout KJA penned dialogue. As far as I'm concerned, at some point after ROTJ, there was a three eyed mutant with a claim to the Imperial throne. He may or may not have been madly in love with Princess Leia. Han may or may not have known the Space Pirate Boogie and owned the most comfortable chair ever made. I believe there is a serviceable story buried within the Jedi Prince series: the characters experienced it, but we may never get to.

If we're talking about character, it's impossible not to bring up Ken. The little **** who's too good for a last name. Throughout this reread, I may have hinted at my relative dislike of Ken once or twice. I tried to keep it subtle, but the more observant of you may have been able to glimpse my true feelings beneath the honeyed words. So in case you've missed it, let me make it clear: Ken Palpatine whatever-the-hell-I'm-supposed-to-call-him is terrible. He is so terrible that mere words are powerless to convey the true depths of his crimes, the offense his very existence imposes on the written word and on life itself. He is the greatest possible expression of the utter depravity that's inherent in the minds of human beings, the greatest possible evidence that we are a sick, hopeless species. He poisons everything he touches, he makes every character he interacts with look worse by simply being associated with him. He lacks anything resembling a coherent character, and is instead composed entirely by children's tears. He is a repulsive waste of oxygen (made all the more repulsive by him being a fictional character), lacking in anything resembling a redeeming value, living proof that life is pointless, a **** stain of truly biblical proportions and I don't like him.

Ahem. It feels so good to finally get that off my chest.

What is there really to say about Ken, Devourer of Souls? He's a failure in every possible way. I understand that these YA stories often feel the need to include a child protagonist, to give the younger audience someone to identify with. Ken fails in that regard, as he's absent for well over half of the series, has little function beyond being the ugliest ornament you've ever seen, and his creators can't seem to decide if he should act like an obnoxious child or an obnoxious adult. As a main character, he fails, as he undergoes no great change worth mentioning. He is simply there to be the "Jedi Prince", a title with little-to-no actual meaning, a contrived target of the antagonists. As a side character, he fails. As an interesting addition to the Star Wars universe, he fails. As a fictional character that has no substance and therefore no real reason to feel so much hatred towards, he fails.

I need a stress ball or something. Or a Ken punching bag.

I actually would love to know, though: are my feelings towards Ken the norm? Did anyone else find any instance where they found Ken sympathetic?

On the other side of the coin, let's talk about the other (real) protagonist: Trioculus. Though he wasn't present much in this book, it simply wouldn't be right to close out the reread without mentioning its best part. While we're clearly supposed to emphasize with Ken and loathe Trioculus, I know I'm not alone in feeling the exact opposite. Ken is a twit who is best left forgotten. Trioculus is, well, Trioculus. And that's a beautiful thing, just like not making sense is a beautiful thing. For you see, Trioculus has character; he has readily definable traits. And perhaps more importantly, he's entertaining. He lights up every scene he's in. His presence is so great that even when another character is talking, all one can think about is how Trioculus is reacting. It is perhaps only natural that, in being by far the most interesting character of the series, he's also the most ambiguous (or sloppily written, take your pick). At one point, it feels as if we're being asked to sympathize with Trioculus, to perhaps even root for him. Another, we're being told about how Trioculus was such a great slavemaster and how he loves killing people so much. I don't know whether it's terrible writing or unintentional genius that Trioculus is so clearly intended to be a clear villain, yet is all-too-often the most likable character in the series. And, unlike everyone else, he has a clearly defined arc.

If we're accepting that Trioculus is an antagonist- something that has proven to be debatable- one has to wonder, then, if he's the main antagonist. He's certainly the most visible antagonist, and easily the most memorable. Zorba is a pronounced threat, sure, but he seems to spend more time making Trioculus's life miserable than he does the supposed heroes. Kadann is the projected chessmaster of the series, and ultimately proves to be the final and perhaps greatest threat (and indeed, would have likely been a problem in later volumes, as he was never actually killed). It is hard to ignore, however, that he's absent for so much of the series. Well, whatever the technicalities, Trioculus is the antagonist of the Jedi Prince series. Kadann has absolutely nothing on him.

This post is getting really long, so I'd like to address one last topic before I let this project go. The tone of the series. I've mentioned before that, despite the book being a YA series, and almost always feeling like it, there are some moments of darkness that are incredibly startling, given what surrounds them. Luke Skywalker, the character most likely to choose a peaceful option over a violent one, ordering a political assassination. Hissa dying in a truly brutal fashion. Kadann describing his very visceral methods of torture to Ken. For such a kiddy, environmentally conscious series, it can feel very schizophrenic. One could read this as an attempt to capture the tone of the original films- generally light and family friendly, but some moments of violence and darkness that would almost certainly land the films a PG-13 rating by today's standards- though with far more extreme shades of light and darkness. Then again, when you really think about it, I suppose zoochberries and Skyhouses contrasted with assassination and people being burned alive isn't so much worse than the contrast between Ewoks and planetary genocide.

For such a simple series, there really is so much that can be said about it. I've only scratched the surface, and already this post is threatening to rival some of the longer summaries, and no one wants to read me babble without a picture of Trioculus and an account of his great deeds to go with it. But this thread has never been about introspection. It's always, first and foremost, been about fun. For those that remember, I started this thread shortly after the announcement of the impending Disneyapocalypse. At that time, hysteria was at its height. In one very large corner, you had people shrieking about the Disney buyout. In the next corner, you had people complaining about Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi. In another corner still, you had people complaining about The Clone Wars. There was just so much apathy, too much even for a Star Wars forum. I wanted to do something that was just simple, dumb fun. Where I, and any others who might join, could talk about Star Wars (a demented side of it, at least), and actually enjoy it. I'm of the opinion that something like that shouldn't be rare. I wanted to bring a little levity back to a board that I enjoy being a part of. Hopefully I've succeeded on at least some level.

And that's all I have to say. One final time, I'd like to stress how much fun I've had doing this, and give appreciation to everyone who's followed and commented. I said in my first post that I wouldn't have continued if it was just me up here doing a solo act, and I'm glad it didn't turn out that way. I'll probably reply to several of the recent posts, but for the most part, I'm finally done. Feel free to continue discussion, though I'm not sure how much more there is to be had without the recaps (I lack modesty, you say? Nonsense! I am the most modest man in the history of the universe!).

It's been fun. Into obscurity and beyond this thread shall go!

 

I'd like to give instantdeath a huge round of applause for the amusement this has brought to all of us. Good work!

 

I hesitate to mar the conclusion by bringing this up but...Kate.

 

Let the silence that follows be a mark of respect towards Trioculus and a mark of disdain for Ken (who lives on in silence anyway). May the Three-Eyed Emperor rest in peace. I'm sure he and Hissa will meet again in hell.

 

instant death thanks for doing this. THE GODV series was part of my actual reading development after Dr. Seuss and stuff like that these were the first books with chapters that I remember reading myself, I'm in my late twenties so I was the target audience when these books came out. Nearly put me off reading star wars books. Thankfully The Young Jedi Knights series, My Dad's copies of the Corellian Trilogy and the Tales of the Jedi comics came later and got me into the EU.

 

So from the recent Paul Davids interview part 2, he claims that Kadann was based on J. Edgar Hoover. Which I guess means we also know where Jedgar's name came from.

 

I would have loved to have had the Jedi Prince series read to me as a kid. You must instill your children with the belief- no, the fact- that no one is perfect unless they have three eyes. If they don't learn true values from their parents, where else are they going to get them?

Thanks for the kind words. Do you have any suggestions? There's Galaxy of Fear, but that series is twice as long, and this one already burned me out

Hey, I think it was George Orwell who said that the best books are the ones that tell you what you already know; in a lot of ways that applies to advice as well. Luke may be quoting a fortune cookie here, but I'll take that over him doing what he's been doing this entire series.

As for the ever relevant discussion on toddler slaughter, you have a point. Yes, it is easy... *rubs hands together menacingly*

Thank you. I've always looked forward to your observations after each summary.

Does that mean we can send him back there?

Wait... Kenth Hamner? The guy who looks like Tommy Lee Jones and was the source of the big Vortex controversy? I think my minds just been blown. I have to say, though, I shudder at the idea of letting Ken come anywhere near the position of Grand Master. Though from what I've heard, Luke does retain some of his Jedi Prince stupidity in FOTJ...

I will forever see Mon Mothma as a grizzled war vet, perpetually chomping on a cigar. Also, five o' clock shadow.

Thank you very much. This is a lot better than my other job.

You know, for one glorious moment, I had forgotten Kate existed. So that's what true happiness feels like. Thanks for tearing it away.

Another thanks to give out.

 

Thinking about other books of similarly-dubious quality for you to read through, I was thinking of either the Revan novel or The Ruins of Dantooine. Although I don't think either quite matches the joyful tone of GODV.

If you're willing to go for a bit longer, I'd say that either the Bounty Hunter Trilogy (Kuat of Kuat of Kuat, anyone?) or the Callista Trilogy might benefit from your brand of readthough, both having sufficiently absurdist elements and characterizations to them.

 

Oh, Force, I'd successfully blocked that from memory.

 

Dark Nest Trilogy!

 

Dr. Steve Brule

To address some of your suggestions:

-I couldn't pick on the Revan novel, despite it's frequent terribleness. Just too close to home. I've mentioned this several times before, but in many ways, I identify KOTOR more as Star Wars than I do the original films. Just the fact that it was a novel about Revan made me less scathing towards it. Of course, it did butcher the Exile in a most unforgivable fashion, but I just find that depressing.

-Ruins of Dantooine is a very good choice, partially because I haven't actually read it. Is it boring bad, or that special kind of bad that makes you want to curl up and wait to die?

-Ugh, the Bounty Hunter trilogy. I've read them, but I barely remember any of them. I definitely think these fall into the "boring" territory, but what makes them worse is that I do remember them having some brief flashes of quality.

-I actually just read the Callista trilogy, so I'm not sure I'm willing to punish myself by rereading it again so soon I had a few miniature rants in the social thread about how horrible a person Callista is. It's interesting in that it embodies two very different forms of horrible: Hambly's cumbersome purple prose that constantly attempts to give the impression that it's saying something profound in order to mask the fact that it's saying nothing, and KJA's undeveloped characters meandering through an underdeveloped plot to save a galaxy that, thanks to his writing, no one cares about through painfully undeveloped prose. Did I mention that Callista is a horrible person? Because she really, really is.

Now that's a fine choice. For one, I haven't read it, and know nothing about it other than its reputation, aside from this one immortal line: "they died when the droids blasted them". I'll have to seriously consider that one. Would anyone else be on board with a Jedi Trial read thread?

Another idea I've been considering is The Crystal Star, which I'm about to read, but I'm worried about that one, because I feel like it's been made fun of in every way possible, and that I don't really have anything to add. If I were to do another one- and I'm not promising anything- would you guys prefer Jedi Trial or The Crystal Star?

And thank you very much.

Another possibility, though it will be awhile until I get to it.

 

The Corellian Trilogy is not bad, but it has quite a few moments to it. Just tossing it out as another option with Children protagonists.