Did I need to quote the whole of that? Yes, yes I did, because just like the Davids, I understand that it is absolutely necessary to explain everything in case someone is unfamiliar, maybe they nodded off during that part of the movie, maybe they only saw the start of Return of the Jedi but got scared off by the scary Ewok cannibals, who knows. There is, however, a key point here -- JJ Abrams and Arndt take note!!! -- that Star Wars: The Lost City of the Jedi (no, it should not be abbreviated or referred to as anything less, that might confuse) proves that you can never get too long or too detailed when it comes to opening crawls. So do you hear me Michael Arndt? You need to make sure the opening crawl to Episode 7 details everything that corresponds to what has happened before in the lives of the main characters. Everything. If that means the film being six hours long, with the first four a detailed account of every single fact on Luke Skywalker's Wookieepedia page, then so be it. And this is what happens when I've just been talking about Abrams... I read the phrase "lens flare" there at first and had to reread the entire sentence again because It. Made. Absolutely. No. Sense. But, then I found it was just a metal lens, not a metal lens flare, and the sentence made sense after all. This is the same man that wielded the Glove of Darth Vader. The Glove! How can such a man be anything except eternally evil? Sure, maybe he also had a heart or something, but that doesn't change the fact that he's still evil. Even evil butchers can have a heart too, you know. Ouch. Artoo-Detoo has moved up to capital letters now? I don't remember him getting that vulgar in the first book. My first response was going to be: "Huh? Which tools? You need to tell us! Readers may not know what tools!" And, hey, even I don't know what tools you'd need to build a floating SKY HOUSEMANSION (Han's really trying to impress the ladies now, isn't he? He's upgraded from a simple house to a MANSION). Well, that was going to be my question... But then I thought about it. And I realised. What. The. Heck. Am. I. Meant. To. Be. Picturing? I mean, seriously? It's a floating sky house. Where's Han? And where's Luke? Is Luke floating in midair, looking down at Han? Or is Han lying on Marty McFly's hoverboard underneath the unfinished sky housemansion (if it's unfinished, how is it already floating...?). I'm all confused. I guess that's the magic of the sky mansion though, so I'll just go with it. I am disappointed, though, that in the Grand Tour, I saw no mention of any consideration that had been given to environmental concerns. Does the sky mansion have a room for animals? Does it have special sensors so that it does not fly into any airsquids or beldons? After all, Bespin is their planet, so Han should have considered their needs before where to keep his shag rugs, and he doesn't want to fly into a poor little airborne algae sack and pop it, does he? DOES HE?! Am I alone in thinking that if I was reading this for the very first time, and it was my very first step into the world beyond the films, that Luke losing his artificial hand sounds like a setup for Luke inheriting his father's indestructible doomium-plated gloveThe Glove of Darth Vader (sorry, for a second there I forgot it's poor taste to refer to The Glove of Darth Vader by anything other than as The Glove of Darth Vader)? There was just so much focus on Luke's hand that it seemed like they might have been planning a plotline where he took his father's heirloom back from the Evil Emperor Trioculus and redeemed it, so that The Glove of Darth Vader could become a Force for Light. You can be hit by a non-exploding car, or hit by an exploding car... so by the same line of thought, does it not stand to reason that you can be hit by either an exploding or non-exploding bomb? The bomb may just have been, you know, thrown at Luke or something, but been a dud and not exploding. Leia needed to know the full story (just like we need the full opening crawl for Episode 7). Give the poor Butt Monkey a break... these are Food Pirates, dude. Food Pirates. Don't pretend you wouldn't be equally scared if one of those targeted you. I concur with this dark idea of boldfacing every dark statement in this dark novel that is filled with so many dark greetings and dark blessings. You're clearly just a callous minded technomonster who fails to appreciate the beauty of the jungle dwelling civilisation of Yavin IVFour and how its tree roots and holy sites are far superior to the metallic polluting monstrosities of Cloud City.