jokes

Discussion in 'Salt Lake City, UT' started by frio_carr, Nov 10, 2002.

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  1. ImDaBudge Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2002
    star 3
  2. LakSivrak Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 1
    wuz gonna tell that super bowl joke. good thing i have another.

    three guys are on a small airplane in a storm. the pilot yells back that unless they jettison some cargo, theyre going down. the three men, being greedy each jettison only one thing. the first man throws out an apple. the second throws out a bannana peel, and the third a grenade. bear in mind i heard this joke when i was ten. the plane lands and the three men rent a car together and start driving to their eventual destination. shortly after they start driving, they see a boy on the side of the road, apparently asleep. they pull over to wake the boy up, since this is a bad place to be asleep (note to self. . .). when the boy comes to, he says he was hitchiking when he was suddenly cracked over the head. they look around and see. . .the apple! the men get in the car ans quickly drive away. not five minues later they see and old man lying by the side of the road. again trying to be nice, they pull over to help. the old man was out for a walk when POW! he slipped on a bannana peel that appeared out of nowhere. the men run back to their car and drive away. a little spooked. they soon see smoke rising from the side of the road, and are about to speed away, when they see and old woman rolling on the ground, obviously laughing. they roll their window down and ask what happened. her response? "I farted and my house blew up!"


    remember, i was 10.
  3. allenj456 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2002
    star 2
    this one time, i saw this man, but he didnt have no name.
  4. Pounce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2002
    star 2
    Haha. I like fart jokes.
  5. frio_carr Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2002
    star 3
    long joke so here is the link.

    Santa Claus

    *edit* sorry about the dead link my server has been down. moved to cable heh heh heh.
  6. merlin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 29, 1999
    star 4
    [color=663300]nice. :D[/color]
  7. ondiv Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 4
    "quivering blob of pink goop"

    you know, its these kinds of visuals that make me a vegetarian...
  8. allenj456 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2002
    star 2
    :-O a vegitarian?!?! And to think i thought so highly of you! (kidding)
    In the immortal words of Homer and Bart Simpson: (input Congo beat here..) "You cant make friends with salad! You cant make friends with salad! You cant make friends with salad!.."
  9. mini_pounce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2002
    star 1
  10. LakSivrak Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 1
    *covers ears and sings loudly*
  11. ondiv Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 4
    Barry and Will are having a slow round of golf because the two female players in front of them managed to get into every sand trap and rough on the course. Finally, Barry said, "I'll go ask if we can play through."

    He walked up the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, then turned around and came back, his face bright red. "I can't do it," he said. "One of them is my wife and the other is my mistress! You'd better go instead."

    Will walked toward the ladies, got about halfway there, turned around and came back. "Small world," he said.
  12. Marold Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2001
    star 6
    If a Seagull eats fried chicken, is it considered cannablism?
  13. frio_carr Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2002
    star 3
    would the ocean be any deeper if sponges didn't grow there?
  14. Darth_Doug Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2002
    star 1
    Finally, the answer to the question everyone has asked themselves:

    Why is the sky blue?
























    Because if it were green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing.
  15. Marold Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2001
    star 6
    What is a Texan? a drunk Mexican on his way to Oklahoma.




    I find it very funny and I do not mean for others to take offense to this joke.
  16. Fingorfin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2001
    star 4
  17. ImDaBudge Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2002
    star 3
    Who would take offense?
  18. merlin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 29, 1999
    star 4
    [color=663300]Future Texans like myself. :p

    [image=http://www.sabishii.net/pics/Texas-flag.gif]
    [/color]
  19. Marold Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2001
    star 6
    and I thought you were only a texan if you were born there. :p

    And you did think it was funny Charles.
  20. mini_pounce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2002
    star 1
    uh.. i dun see nuffink in that piccy bree... are you saying you'll be an 'X'!?

    :eek:

  21. merlin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 29, 1999
    star 4
    [color=663300]Check again. ;)[/color]
  22. Fingorfin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2001
    star 4
    Future Texan? [face_laugh]
    I think you should know that people don't adopt Texas; Texas adopts people. And she's rather picky about them. Not too sure about those that cannot post the flag right on the first try. :p


    Joke:

    What did the Zen monk say to the hot dog vendor?
    "Make me one with everything."
  23. merlin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 29, 1999
    star 4
    [color=663300]I posted the flag right the first time, but only I could see it cuz it was in my cache. ;)[/color]
  24. Fingorfin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2001
    star 4
    If you were the only one that could see it, then it was not done properly.
  25. merlin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 29, 1999
    star 4
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