Beyond - Legends JONOJU FISHING (aka- The Wraith Mission Challenge)

This is in response to a Wraith misison that was proposed at the Cantina. The following criteria were given:

Place- Bespin
Song-Side by Side
Words- optical, forge, vent, and woebegone
Activity- Fishing

So here it is Wraiths, my response to the Wraith Mission Challenge!! (The criteria is highlighted in red)

Jonoju Fishing

Jag grimaced as he stepped off the Falcon. he didn?t know where he was, but from the looks of the place, it was none too inviting. He itched the collar of the ridiculous vest, which was accompanied by an equally ridiculous hat, that Han had made him wear.

I don?t know why I let him talk me into this?

He turned around in time to see his father-in-law, Han Solo and Han?s protocol droid, C3PO, lumbering down the Falcon?s access ramp, both overloaded with funny looking gear.

?Sit it down over here, Threepio.? Han said as he unloaded his arms.

?Anything I can do to help, sir??

Han turned and looked at Jag, flashing him a lopsided grin. ?Yeah. You can stay out here and keep Threepio company while I get the ret of the stuff. Oh, and don?t call me ?sir?. It?s ?Han? or ?Captain?, got it kid??

Jag nodded, ?Yes, sir-I mean, Han.?

Han rolled his eyes and headed back into the Falcon, leaving Jag alone with Threepio.

?Why, by the Maker!? the droid exclaimed. ?Do my optical sensors deceive me??

?What? What is it??

?It?s Bespin!? Threepio whailed.

?Bespin? Who?s Bespin??

Threepio started to answer but was cut off by the sound of Han?s laughter coming from the ramp. ?Bespin isn?t a person, it?s a planet and you?re standing on it.?

?So why it Threepio worried about Bespin??

The droid piped up. ?The last time Captain Solo was on Bespin, he was frozen in carbonite, Master Luke lost his hand to Darth Vader and I was disassembled!?

Jag paled and swallowed. Hard. ?Why exactly are we here then?? Oh please don?t let it be to put me in carbonite, oh please, oh please, oh please?

Han flashed Jag another Solo grin and patted him on the shoulder. ?Because it?s the best place in the galaxy to go jonoju fishing!?

?Jonoju fishing? What?s that??

?I?ll tell you on the way to the best jonoju fishing vent on Bespin. Here you go, kid,? Han said, shoving gear into Jag?s arms. ?Threepio, you stay with the ship.? He turned to Jag. ?You try to keep up, got it kid??

* * * * * * * * * *

The duo walked for hours, all the while Han singing the same annoyingly jaunty song over and over again. Jag was sick of it. Even all his training at the Chiss academy hadn?t prepared him in dealing with the insufferable song.

?Well, we ain?t got a barrel of money, we may look ragged and funny?? Han started for the one hundred and seventy-third time since they had left the Falcon. Jag exhaled sharply, his arms tiring from carrying the awkward gear and his nerves reaching their breaking point.

If I have to hear that song one more time?.

Han simply continued.

?Through all kinds of weather, what if the sky should fall??

?Sir?? Jag asked, wearily. ?Sir? Are we there yet??

Han sang even louder.

?So we ain?t got a barrel of money
We may look ragged and funny
But we?re travelin? on
Singing our song
Side by side??

Jag grimaced again. He has been told there were certain people who should never sing. He?d discovered one of them today. The duo trudged along, Han finally ceasing his aural torture of Jag. For that, he was thankful. Listening to Han singing made Imperial interrogations look appealing. After a while of silence, Jag spoke up.

?What exactly is jonoju fishing??

?Well, kid, jonojus are one of the galaxy?s weirdest beings. A jonoju looks like a cross between a bird and a rather large fish. They?re found all over the place. Not many people call ?em ?jonojus? though. Most call ?em ?snipes?. Anyway, the only way to catch a jonoju is to find a vent that?s been deserte

 

that was funny Ears
Poor Jag, Han played a wicked joke on him but *snickers* it was so funny.

 

Hilarious!!!!!

 

*Wipes tear from eyes*

I guess this is Han's torture in place of Carbonite, eh?

nina

 

...l...o...l...That was good...Even Janson isn't that mean! Great one, oh Goddess of mine.

 

Great stuff Ears, absolutley hilarious .

?It?s Bespin!? Threepio whailed.

?Bespin? Who?s Bespin??

Threepio started to answer but was cut off by the sound of Han?s laughter coming from the ramp. ?Bespin isn?t a person, it?s a planet and you?re standing on it.?

rofl, The Empire strikes back !, or should I say this time it´s Han takeing revenge on Jag for stealing hie daughter

Jag paled and swallowed. Hard. ?Why exactly are we here then?? Oh please don?t let it be to put me in carbonite, oh please, oh please, oh please?

lol, poor Jaggie *giggle* lol

Han clutched his sides and began laughing again. Through his fits of giggles, Jag barely made out what he was saying.

?Because there?s no such thing as jonojus!!?

rofl, Han is such a meanie

~Arissa

 

That was hilarious! Just out of curiosity, does Jag also fall into the catagory of people who are not meant to sing? That was never revealed.

 

Dunno, but he probably falls into the category of Wes bait (i.e. the kind of people who attract a prank from Wes magically, in case you're wondering, Wedge's on that list too. It seems Han is just standing in for Wes while he finds his way back to the right thread...)

 

Whooo, that was great Ears Han and Wes eh? Jagged is everybit his uncle's nephew, especially when it comes to the pranks.

 

::falls out of chair laughing::

That was great!

Funny!

Great Job!!!

~Greaser~

 

That was priceless. *roflmao*

 

I loved it JMJ Exactly what I needed to cheer me up this morning. Thank you.

 

LOL, Ears!! Glad to see my challenge was taken seriously. That has to have the single most-funny thing I've read today!

 

That's was hilarious!!! lol. Wonderful job.

 

BA- It was never said that Han doesn't play jokes too...

shelly- Thanks!!

JJF- Han has much, much worse forms of torture for those who marry his daughter....lol...

MJ- Who's to say that Janson didn't have a hand in this? LOL!! I love your signature!!!

Arissa- I think that says it all....lol

Tone- Drunk Jag defintely falls under that category!!

Calandria- Yep, Jag is most definetly Wes bait!!

JMK- Poor Jag and poor Wedge, they just can't seem to escape to jokesters....

KJ- ::helps back into chair:: Thanks!!

TSL- I only aim to please!

red- I'm glad it brightened up your morning. You needed it! I read what you posted over on Legacy and I feel so bad for you.... What happened was a senseless tragedy. I'm glad you weren't there and my thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of those who were...You're more than welcome! Anything I can to to brighten someone's day!

ZR- Yub yub, Muscles!! I'm glad it met your standards....lol...

J&J- He he he....This is the product of what happens when you go to the Cantina, have a few mugs of Lomin Ale, get a mission challenge, and just start writing... Okay....so maybe I didn't have that much Lomin Ale... LOL...

~JMJ

 

Jag swayed on his place, feeling quite inebriated. He was on his sixth straight mug of Lomin Ale and he still hadn?t caught a kriffin? thing!

Man, think what Jaina could do to him, or get him to do, in this condition. I always thought a drunk Jaggie could be quite... entertaining. We all remember Jaina when roles were reversed in Echoes....

-Rogue

 

Rouge_49- A drunk Jaggie is quite amusing.... But I wouldn't know this from experience or anything.... [face_innocent] He he he....

::goes off to "play" with drunk Jag::

~JMJ

 

UP!!

We want all the little Wraiths to be able to read this....don't we?

I seem to be in a particularly evil mood today...don't know why....hmmmm....

::goes off to wreak havoc on some poor unsuspecting soul::

~JMJ

 

Man, you just gotta love when fathers torture their son-in-laws. That was great!


-Vicster

 

*howls* That was SOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Rogue

 

M_V- Now, not all father-in-laws torture their son-in-laws.....I hope...lol...

R11LJ- I'll take that as a good thing.....lol....

~JMJ

 

Great job in taking the Wraith challange...I don't know what I expected, but you definately brought out the unexpected...Alright...will someone please tear me away from these chocolate chips???

*giggles hysterically*

I would almost attempt a cartwheel...but I'm afraid that I'll fall flat on my butt if I do...

*giggles even more*

Anyways, great viggie, JMJ!!!!

*LtJS*
a.k.a. CD

 

CD- LOL!!! He hehe...I'm glad you liked it! Now, away from the sugar...leave some for the other little Wraiths...lol. j/k!! Don't do the cartwheel in your sugar induced state!! We don't want you hurting yourself!! lol....

~JMJ

 

I've finished the bag of chocolate chips...I have moved onto Brownie Batter Ice Cream...Mmmmm!

*CD grins*

Anybody want some?

CD

 

Brownie batter ice cream? Ohhhh....that almost sounds too good to be true....

~JMJ