Saga Judging Angels (AU, Anakin/Padmé) - Author's Note (8/17/14)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Fate, Jan 5, 2012.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    [IMG]



    Main Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Naberrie
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    Summary: It's twelve years since Anakin didn't become a Jedi and Padmé never ruled Naboo. A sweeping tale of suspense and intrigue begins with a twist the galaxy couldn't see coming.



    ***

    A/N: Please go to page 3 (post #59) for the full chapters! It's my temporary "fix" while the boards get sorted. Thanks for your patience and for checking this out; I'd love to hear what you think. :)

    ***


    Prologue (or, The Dealer)


    If life was a game of luck, Fate was the dealer. She dealt you a hand at birth, and you played with what you got. Sometimes you got ahead, usually you fell behind, and the house always won in the end. Still, every now and then, your hand inexplicably altered, almost as if someone swapped cards with you when you weren't looking.

    Many years later, Anakin Skywalker could still remember the first day his cards had changed.


    ***


    "Well, young one, have you decided? Will you join me to become a Jedi?"

    Anakin hesitated. He feared what he was about to say would deeply hurt a man he'd much rather not. But it couldn't be helped.

    He looked at his sand-dusted foot coverings, then back into the kindly blue eyes of the man who knelt before him. "I've decided, Master Qui-Gon. I? I won't go with you. I can't. Not without my mom. She needs me."

    A troubled expression passed over Qui-Gon's face. "Anakin," he said carefully, "I greatly admire your concern for those who love you. I admire your willingness to make sacrifices for them. And as for your mother?" He sighed and looked away. "Anakin, I would give anything to free her. But it is simply not in my power."

    Anakin looked at his foot coverings again, suddenly uncomfortable. "I know, Master Qui-Gon," he said, nodding slowly. "I understand. You have to follow the Jedi rules."

    The troubled expression on Qui-Gon's face deepened into a frown. "Yes," he said quietly. "I must follow the Jedi way. I may not betray my mandate." His voice held calm resignation, but when Anakin checked, his face looked like he had just tasted something bitter.

    Anakin looked up anxiously. "Please, Master Qui-Gon, don't be mad at me. I remember what you told me ? about my 'destiny'." He looked down again. "I'm sorry that I'll never be a Jedi."

    Qui-Gon Jinn looked him over for a long while. "Peace, Anakin," he said at last. "It is your life. You must choose your path through it; it is your right. But whatever your choice, I am convinced that a bright future awaits you, far beyond the Tatooine suns, and that you will take your proper place in the galaxy in the end. And as for 'never' becoming a Jedi ? " here the older man's regal features crooked into a grin ? "I wouldn't be so dire, young one. 'Never' is quite a long time. If it is the will of the Force, you will become a Jedi, however long it takes." He paused, and the grin faded from his face. "And if it is the will of the Force? we shall see one another again." He stood up. "But now I must leave you."

    Anakin's lower lip quavered. "I hate goodbyes."

    "All life is ending and beginning again, young one." Smiling, Qui-Gon tucked his long arms into the folds of his tunic. "But as I am of a similar feeling, let us simply say, 'May the Force be with you.'"


    ***


    From the small opening in the outer wall of her living quarters, Shmi Skywalker had observed the entire proceedings. Her heart swelled as she watched the tall, stately Jedi conversing with her little boy as though with an equal, then gave a sudden lurch at the sight of Anakin moving away from him, first with slow steps, and then breaking into an all-out run. The interview had ended, and Shmi knew Anakin would be off as quickly as possible to get away from any unwelcome feelings of sadness or loss. Still, though knowing he would return, she hated to see him leave her even for a moment.

    A slight tap at the portal caught her attention. She moved to open it, smoothing back her hair.

    "Master Qui-Gon," she said warmly. "Do come in, please."

    "Thank you." He ducked his head beneath the low threshold to enter.

    Shmi led the way to the dining area, gesturing to a chair which was solid, if roughly made. "Will yo
    Last edited by Fate, Aug 17, 2014
  2. LVB Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2005
    star 1
    I must admit I haven't read an of your previous work but I am excited to see where you might take us with this AU. Your writing is very clear and you use words with such conviction, it is hard not to dwell on every sentence. I am loving it so far and looking forward to seeing how Anakin's life unfolds in this new scenario.
  3. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Welcome, LVB! Thank you so much for reading, and even more for posting the first comment. I mentioned it at the beginning, but I am truly excited about this story. My previous fanfics have mainly been one-posters, and I've been gone for several years, so it's absolutely understandable that this is the first of my stories you've read. I'm delighted that you like the language, and I think you'll love where the story goes.

    I plan to post a new segment every 7-10 days. It's wonderful to have you along for the ride. :)
  4. Ceillean Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2001
    star 5
    This is a wonderful, wonderful start. You had me hooked at the start and I am truly looking forward to where you take us with this story. You have a beautiful way with words, by the way. :)
  5. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    *beams* Thank you so much, Ceillean. That's probably the best compliment any writer could ask for. I'll strive to keep you hooked right to the end. :)
  6. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Promise you'll finish? Because I really, really hate unfinished good stories and this is shaping up to be the latter.

  7. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    (I wish there were a way to communicate digitally besides *actions* and emoticons. That way you could get a visual image of me laughing, then raising a hand in solemn promise. But here we are.)

    I absolutely promise I will finish this story. (Barring some drastic, untimely circumstance - like death.) It's really 85% done. I have a clear plotline, and I have the ending. The rest of the work should just be cosmetic touches, and in reality, they're writing themselves.

    Thank you for reading, Valairy_Scot, truly. :)
  8. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    I love this little twist, and how you wrote Shmi and Qui-Gon both. I really like this premise...can I have PMs for updates please?
  9. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Sure, Luna_Nightshade! I've actually never had a request for PM updates before. I'm really glad you like it so far.
  10. Jedi_QueenBee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2008
    star 3
    whoa, this is a twist that I'd never expected!!!! Keep posting!
  11. Ceillean Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2001
    star 5
    If it's not too much trouble, could you please me add me to the PM list as well? I barely open up the Saga boards and I'd hate to miss when you update. ;)
  12. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Welcome, Jedi_QueenBee! I'm really glad you like the twist so far, and I hope to keep you guessing.

    Ceillean: It's no trouble at all. :) Meanwhile, I intend to post the next segment on January 15, 2012. By the way, I've also noticed that things are comparatively slow around here. Maybe that will change when the 3-D prequels are released in theaters.
  13. CurtisZidaneZiraa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2010
    star 1
    I am fascinated. Keep going, please!
  14. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Thanks for reading, CurtisZidaneZiraa! I hope you'll like where the story goes.

    The promised update will be in the next post.
  15. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Chapter 1


    In another life, she might have been queen. It wasn't so much her form, which was slight, or her appearance, which, while lovely, was not extraordinary in a galaxy with myriads of dazzling creatures. It wasn't even her birth. Her father had ended his political career several years before her arrival, her mother had never aspired to one in the first place, and the end of it was that she'd been born into the comfortable but modest home of a simple family that made its aim to live quietly. There was little place for ambition in such surroundings, small room for grandiose thinking under such circumstances. In short, Padmé Naberrie possessed few of the accoutrements typically associated with greatness. And yet she was great, though she did not know it.

    She might have guessed it, however, from the attention she drew wherever she went. If asked, none of her admirers could have explained just what it was about her that they found so appealing. Some would have mentioned her soft lips and expressive mouth, without recognizing that the real attraction lay in the glint of her grin, which was a bit crooked. Many would have pointed to the luminosity of her large brown eyes (she had the unsettling habit of turning them straight on you), without realizing that the true appeal lay in a certain something
    behind her eyes ? a sort of earnest innocence that all of Coruscant's glittering decadence had been unable to taint. It was as if, long after she was old enough to know better, she truly believed she could improve the universe through sheer strength of will. It was this belief, this earnestness, which caused her to gain the confidence of others without trying for it, and it was this ease in gaining confidence that would have made Padmé a fine queen.

    But it was not to be. By some perverse turn of the dice, her quiet life was upended, and Naboo as she knew it ceased to be long before she could dream of ruling it.



    ***


    The cool air was choked with exhaust, and artificial sunlight danced on the countless gleaming surfaces that gave the planet its name. With alarm signals blaring, a slew of harried commuters swerved into a small airspeeder's path, and then ? just as suddenly ? came to a dead stop.

    Alone in the speeder, Padmé sighed.

    I still don't understand why I have to be here.

    She fought the urge to berate herself for not taking a hoverbus. It didn't do any good to dwell on her error; it wouldn't change the situation at hand. Still, she didn't have to just sit there in Coruscant's legendary rush-hour air traffic, simmering with irritation. With a nod, she jerked the controls to the upper right, cutting through several stacked rows of stalled vehicles. Angry blasts and gestures greeted her, but she simply continued on her way, sending out waves of calm and peace as best she could.

    I'm sorry for your distress, but I have problems of my own.

    After descending a few dozen levels, she straightened out the speeder and renewed her search. Shops might be grittier in the lower levels, but they were also less crowded. It wasn't long before she located a promising sector. She could only hope it would have what she'd spent the entire day looking for.

    As she approached one of several landing platforms, she thought of her current assignment and frowned. She could guess its aim. Its aim was to teach her humility in preparation for the Jedi Trials, which were themselves intended to prepare her for a lifetime of quiet duty and willing sacrifice. But as much as she understood her master's good intentions, and as much as she wanted to be agreeable, she really didn't like her current assignment. No. She hated it.

    "You don't have to like it," her master had informed her. "But you do have to do as you're told. A Jedi is unflinchingly obedient."

    Well, here I am, being ?unflinchingly obedient?.

    Rolling her eyes, she pulled the speeder toward an appropriate spot on the landing platform, eased it to a stop, and paused to scowl again.

    I've got to have the most over-protective master in t
  16. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    Interesting, I look forward to more!
  17. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Welcome, Lady_Misty! Thanks for reading; I'm glad you like it so far.

    All: I'm probably going to stick to updating about every ten days. The posts are pretty long, and a longer interval between posts will make it easier for anyone who'd like to catch up (as this story becomes the roaring success I'm confident it will ;)).

    Also, I should probably have mentioned it in my lengthy forward, but I'm a serious concrit junkie. I like knowing that people are out there reading, and that several care enough to reply, but it's when I get specific feedback that I really feel alive. Even just pasting in the bits of narrative or dialogue that stand out most to you motivates me to go on. And if there's something you don't think works, I'd love to hear that too.

    But thanks again for just being here. :)
  18. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    I love how everything in this has been turned on its head. Anakin reminds me a little bit of Han, and his lines are much more fitting now. I really like Padme as this Jedi padawan version, and I'm looking forward to seeing them interact more. Really interesting and beautifully written. Looking forward to more!
  19. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    I really appreciate your comments, Luna_Nightshade. A big part of what made me want to write this was curiosity about what their lives would have been like if their circumstances had been different. They're still the same people, but now they're meeting for the first time as adults, instead of as children. I hadn't thought of this Anakin sounding like Han, but I can see it. It's probably the fact that he feels more self-assured than in canon, besides not having had the Jedi polishing-up. Padmé as a Jedi is probably the greatest suspension of belief in the story, so I'm glad it's working so far.

    Thank you very much for reading and replying. :)
  20. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5

    He shrugged. "What, you think you're the first Jedi that's ever walked in this shop? I've seen heaps of your kind before, Angelface."

    Padmé narrowed her eyes. "What exactly do you mean by 'my kind'? And why do you keep calling me that?"

    Ignoring the first question, he answered the second. "Why do I keep calling you 'Angelface'?" He shrugged again. "Because you have the face of an angel."

    Padmé's eyes widened. "The face... of an angel?"

    "Yeah. You look like one."

    Padmé sputtered. Her eyes darted around the room, unsure of where to land. "And... have you ever actually seen an angel?"

    The young man shook his head. "No. But I heard from a Corellian spice miner that they're the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy."


    I love how you bring in "canon events" but twisted around or in different scenarios - a lot of fun to read. Keep up the good writing!

  21. CurtisZidaneZiraa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2010
    star 1
    Haha, so Padme is the Jedi in this one. Is her master someone we know? Keep going! (hey, do you do pm alerts?)
  22. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Valairy_Scot: I liked that moment, too. Dialogue's actually my favorite thing to write, so I feel absurdly pleased when it goes over well. Thank you for your thoughts. :)

    CurtisZidaneZiraa: Yes, yes, and yes. Meaning: 1) Yes, I'll add a PM list to the first post and put you on it, 2) Yes, Padmé's master is someone we know, and 3) Yes, I am being deliberately coy. ;-) All will be revealed in time.


    All: I'm experiencing a lapse of motivation, but intend to have the next chapter up soon. Thanks to everyone for reading, and please keep the comments coming.
  23. Darth_Kiryan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2009
    star 4
    THis is without a doubt one of the most interesting AUs that i have ever read. Seriously, this is fantastic.!

    If possible, i'd like a PM as well.
  24. ViariSkywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2002
    star 4
    So I just realized as I sat down to write this that this will be my first new story response in nearly two years. :eek: That should tell you right away how impressed I am with this story. :D

    I don?t think we ever had a chance to become acquainted, although I do remember your name from way back, before things really started to slow down here. I can totally relate to the feeling of having a story you need to tell, even after so many years. I am so glad you decided to come back and share it!

    And now, the feedback. ;)

    I absolutely love the scene between Anakin and Qui-Gon at the beginning, and also between Qui-Gon and Shmi. I could truly, honestly hear each character speaking those lines. And your descriptions are so vivid and beautifully written.

    And as for 'never' becoming a Jedi ? " here the older man's regal features crooked into a grin ? "I wouldn't be so dire, young one. 'Never' is quite a long time. If it is the will of the Force, you will become a Jedi, however long it takes." He paused, and the grin faded from his face. "And if it is the will of the Force? we shall see one another again." He stood up. "And now I must leave you."

    Anakin's lower lip quavered. "I hate goodbyes."

    "All life is ending and beginning again, young one." Smiling, Qui-Gon tucked his long arms into the folds of his tunic. "But as I am of a similar feeling, let us simply say, 'May the Force be with you.'"


    This whole section was perfect. It?s been a while since I?ve read anything in which Qui-Gon was a character; I didn?t realize how much I?d missed his wisdom and his warmth. And like I said before, I could so hear Liam Neeson saying those words. :)

    Shmi reached for a small container of dried olus leaves and made for the kitchen. When crumpled in liquid, the leaves produced a flavorful beverage smelling of flowers. They also had the pleasing effect of steaming in cold water, which made them a refreshing favorite on a planet where no one would think of drinking anything hot until long after the suns were down. In a few moments, she returned with a large mug for Qui-Gon and a small cup for herself. Carefully, she handed the Jedi his drink, then sat across from him and took up her own. Several minutes ticked off in companionable silence.

    This is a beautiful passage. I love that you took the time to describe the leaves and why they made such a good beverage on Tatooine.

    It was as if, long after she was old enough to know better, she truly believed she could improve the universe through sheer strength of will. It was this belief, this earnestness, which caused her to gain the confidence of others without trying for it, and it was this ease in gaining confidence that would have made Padmé a fine queen.

    This is Padmé. You?ve captured the essence of her character in just a few sentences. Now that?s impressive. I?m already confident that I?ll enjoy reading more about Padmé in this story. ;)

    Zade got to liberate a captive world. Sulmari got to investigate a syndicate-owned fuel reactor plant. Obi-Wan Kenobi got to take on the first Sith apprentice in thousands of years, and twelve years later, the Order's still talking about it.

    I love how you?ve taken the canon events and twisted them into something unique, with Padmé being a Jedi and Obi-Wan still being the one to defeat Darth Maul. I am already anxious for more backstory! And I love Padmé?s frustration at being stuck on Coruscant looking for parts.

    And yes, I knew who she was going to meet in that parts shop, and I loved that, too. :p

    Placing his palms on the counter behind him, he crossed his booted legs at the ankle. "Your power cell."

    You do a really terrific job making the scene come alive with little details like this ? crossing the ankles while leaning against the counter? who hasn?t struck this same pose at least once? It?s so simple, and yet reading it here allows me to truly picture the scene. It?s obvious that you have an incredibly cl
  25. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    Phoenix5: *beams* Thank you so much. Since I'm beginning to realize how much emotional investment I have in this, my 'epic' fanfic, I treasure every comment. (Not sure how much sense that makes, but hopefully you get the idea.) And, done. ;)


    ViariSkywalker: :eek:

    Wow. Thank you so much.

    I checked in here a few hours ago, saw a new comment, and was floored to realize it was several paragraphs. (Not that every comment has to be like that; that's why the ones that are are so special.) It was such a nice surprise.

    "And now, to business."


    So I just realized as I sat down to write this that this will be my first new story response in nearly two years. shock That should tell you right away how impressed I am with this story.

    I'm very flattered. Especially given the fact that I haven't exactly been making the fanfic rounds myself. I know that's a good way to attract readership, but I'm incredibly nervous about this story coming out of my head intact, and not getting influenced by anyone else's. I didn't know that's how it would be until after my first post.


    I don?t think we ever had a chance to become acquainted, although I do remember your name from way back, before things really started to slow down here.

    You didn't miss much. I was... silly. :rolleyes: But I guess that's how all sage 20-somethings feel about their younger counterparts.


    I can totally relate to the feeling of having a story you need to tell, even after so many years. I am so glad you decided to come back and share it!

    Me, too. But now that it's out there and I've actually started, I'm scared to death. Afraid that everything won't come out just so, afraid of low readership - things of that nature. I'm actually thinking of moving it to FFN so I can at least know how many people are reading (or at least viewing the page). But I digress. :)


    I absolutely love the scene between Anakin and Qui-Gon at the beginning, and also between Qui-Gon and Shmi.

    I carry a torch for Qui-Gon Jinn (and his Liam Neeson counterpart). I just find him incredibly charismatic. I'm glad you like his scene with Shmi. It was obvious (at least to me) that there was something between them, but I didn't want to make it unbelievable. So I'm glad it worked for you. :)


    I could truly, honestly hear each character speaking those lines.

    I love 'hearing' characters say dialogue in their own voices - especially when they have dreamy accents like Shmi and Qui-Gon. I think it also helps with believability.


    And your descriptions are so vivid and beautifully written.

    Thank you. :) That's actually one of my weaker points. If I had my way, it'd be all dialogue, some description, and a hairline plot. But that's not exactly a story, is it?


    This whole section was perfect. It?s been a while since I?ve read anything in which Qui-Gon was a character; I didn?t realize how much I?d missed his wisdom and his warmth. And like I said before, I could so hear Liam Neeson saying those words.

    Liam made a dreamy Jedi, didn't he? :) He's so... contained. Thinking back, Qui-Gon's been a character in two other fics of mine. I guess that says something.


    This is a beautiful passage. I love that you took the time to describe the leaves and why they made such a good beverage on Tatooine.

    When I have these scenes that need scenery, this sort of thing tends to happen. They're both very quiet characters, so they wouldn't just launch into a discussion. So I needed something between the door and dialogue. Tea, I thought. People drink tea. :) Then I tried to think of how they'd manage it on Tatooine.


    This is Padmé. You?ve captured the essence of her character in just a few sentences. Now that?s impressive. I?m already confident that I?ll enjoy reading more about Padmé in this story.

    I hope so. A lot is hanging on her alternate life being believable. But the story didn't want to come out any other way.


    I love how you?ve taken the canon events and twisted them into something unique, with Padmé being
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade