JCC Just how big is Big Dani?

I don't know about that. Her feet are small, so she 's ideal for getting near the sink. And we all have a calling.

 

It's a

It's a very slippery slope.

 

Just how big is Dani? I'll tell you how big Dani is. Back in '98 I was a fiend for mowing lawns. Not satisfied with mowing my own, I would mow the Neighbours on each side. Then I'd mow the house's lawn opposite. After a week I was doing the whole damn street. But my needs still weren't sated, so I bought a truck and went around town, mowing every unkempt lawn I could find. I never asked - or wanted - paying for my work. The reward was in the work itself. But, people would tip me, and I thought it rude to refuse.

Well, the tip money built up, and I decided to treat myself...in the only way I knew how; a new lawn mower! I bought a beast, a self propelling, 700hp behemoth. The sales person warned me off it, but in my arrogance I ignored them and made my purchase. The very first time I used Sheila (for that's what I'd named the new mower), she got away from me. Seeing her out of control, I dived in front, and Sheila took off my thumbs. I had stopped the mower, but at what cost?

Now, I'm a simple man, with simple pleasures, but I used those thumbs to partake in some of my favourite activities, and became quite depressed, wearing army fatigues and such. And then it happened.

Big Dani offered me her Big toes in what she said was a groundbreaking transplant procedure. To cut a long story short - too late, I know - I have thumbs again.

So how Big is is Big Dani? As big as her heart. So as big as the universe. And she'll always get two toes up from me.

 

No wonder her feet are small.

 

This one time I was spending the afternoon with Dani and she took me to this vacant lot. She told me that if we waited there long enough, they'd put up a bar. Sure enough, a year and a half later, they built a bar around us on the very ground we sat upon. Dani and I ordered the first two drinks at that bar, after which she then lit the building on fire and shouted to me over the roar of the flames "Always leave a place the way you found it!"