Saga Just Not Our Day -- (OCs, pre-ANH, new title)

Title: Just Not Our Day
Author: -Z-
Timeframe: ANH
Characters: Thix Barkon, Grant Bowmark, Janner Fell, Jock Deiner, Colonel Hendrikson, Lyssa Dethin, Nalla Vek, and a very ticked off Kowakian Monkey Lizard.
Genre: Adventure, Humor
Keywords: Rebels, Pilots, Humor, Action, Adventure
Summary: Rebel 'acquisitions' agents Thix and Grant wake up to one of the longest days of their lives.

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Rise And Shine

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"Thix. Thix. Wake up. Thix. Hey. Wake up."

Thix Barkon shot an arm out from under the blanket he was under and grabbed the wrist that was shaking him. He pulled the cover back slowly with his other hand and blinked in the light.

"Are you here with my discharge orders?" he asked.

"No, Thix."

"Then come back in a couple of years when I'm alive," Thix said, pulling the cover back up.

A hand snatched the blanket away. Thix groaned loudly and pulled his pillow up over his head.

"Come on, pal, it's almost 0700. Practically lunchtime. Let's rise and shine, trooper!"

Thix sat up wearily, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn.

"What time did you say it was?" he asked.

"0700. We've got a briefing in a half an hour," came the reply. Grant Bowmark, Thix's waker, walked across the sparse pilot's quarters and poured a cup of caf from a self-heating decanter. "Caf? Does wonders at this hour."

Thix accepted the cup and took a large gulp of the contents, glancing at his partner.

"I wondered why you were so alert. How many gallons have you had so far?"

"No more than two. I'm cutting back," Grant said. "I've already done some calisthenics and cleaned up my quarters. I even updated my life insurance policy."

"You're making me look bad," Thix said, pulling a pilot's coverall from the floor near his cot and slipping it on over his shorts and shirt.

"Never. I don't have the ambition."

Thix cracked his neck slowly, sighing as he stretched. Grant made a face from the doorway.

"How can you do that? It's disgusting. One of these days you're going to pull something," he said.

"Loosens me up," Thix replied. "The mess still serving breakfast?"

"Yeah, if you want to call it that. The Reds lost a transport on their last supply run and we're down to dry rations."

"Leave it to Red Squadron to mess up the easy missions," Thix said. The pilots here at Yavin base had a running pride competition. The three squadrons--Red, Gold, and Nothing--were frequently engaged in ferocious banter battles, with Nothing Squadron often coming out ahead. This was, according to Red and Gold squadrons, due to the fact that they weren't actually a squadron, hence their name.

"Looks like we'll be solo again today," Grant said, as he and Thix walked through the ancient temple serving as a base toward the dining facility.

"Better than running escort with the Reds and Golds," Thix replied.

"No argument here," Grant said.

Nothing Squadron--of which Thix and Grant were proud members--was more of a collective of pilots and infantrymen whose duties were varied and often hush-hush. Though the titles in their files read 'pilot,' Thix and Grant liked to think of themselves as 'Questionable Supply Acquisition Agents.' Their particular specialty was conning Imperials into lending them supplies and equipment, which would then be mishandled and lost in transit.

In other words, Thix and Grant stole things.

And they were very, very good at it.

It was a joke amongst Nothing Squadron, which consisted of around a half-dozen pilots, that Red and Gold squadron had a motto: "Fly and die." Meanwhile, the Nothing Squadron motto was: "Wheel and deal." They often told their superior officers to avoid assigning them the boring and routine duties of the other squadrons, saying that the mottos did not work well when blended: "Wheel and die," and "Fly and deal," just didn't have the same zing.

Entering the mess hall, Thix and Grant pulled trays from a lopsided stack and had their food served. They picked a spot near the door and sat. Thix picked at his food.

 

From this point, Thix and Grant complete their mission by first dealing with:

"The Little Lost Bantha Cub Incident"

...and then they head out from Stardock Epsilon to a Star Destroyer called Sentry to steal surplus supplies, and are caught up in:

"The Admiral's Daughter Incident"

...then it's off to a nearby port world to refuel, but, naturally, a few kinks are thrown into the mix in:

"The Fertilizer Incident"

...and the wrap-up will follow.

 

Title: Just Let Me Work My Magic
Author: -Z-
Timeframe: ANH
Characters: Thix Barkon, Grant Bowmark
Genre: Adventure, Humor
Keywords: Rebels, Pilots, Humor, Action, Adventure
Summary: Rebel 'acquisitions' agents Thix and Grant wrap up one of the longest days of their lives.
Notes: This is the fifth and final segment that fits together with four others to form a novella describing what is a very, very long day in the life of Thix and Grant. Each story can be read separately, or all five can be read in order.

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Just Let Me Work My Magic

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A lone kowakian rustled the branch he clung to and screeched softly to himself. Something had just rumbled the very foundations of the jungle and interrupted a delicious nap. Screeching once more in frustration, the monkey lizard deftly dropped through the branches to touch down in the soft loam of the jungle floor. Mischievious and curious by nature, the critter was determined to locate the source of its sudden discomfort.

It scurried along the ground, using both feet and arms to propel itself. It stopped cautiously behind each tree, and bright yellow eyes darted back and forth, scouting for danger. Here, the sky was a dark green--an unusually high concentration of methane gas caused the odd discoloration, but the fact was lost on the monkey lizard, who was watching the sky for another reason. The raptors here had developed green plumage.

Pulling aside a leafy scrub branch, the kowakian uttered a light chitter. Yes, there they were. The interlopers who woke him.

There was a great scar in the jungle here. The trees had been ripped asunder and tossed aside as if they were driftwood and a smoking crater pocked the center of the newly-formed glade. Inside the crater, however, was something that the monkey lizard couldn't identify. It looked like a huge, shiny beast, smoking and damaged. Parts of it were blackened and charred and others still spouted flame.

The kowakian cooed in awe and began to step into the clearing. Suddenly, a high-pitched whine sounded and what looked like a mouth began to open up near the front of the creature. Screeching in fright, the monkey lizard darted back into the underbrush to observe.

The huge beast did not follow. Instead, a pair of smaller creatures came running out of the mouth, carrying metal cylinders. They ran about, as if crazed, to each spot there was a fire, and sprayed a kind of foam on the blazes, extinguishing them. The strange creatures dumped the canisters on the ground and looked at the metal beast. From his vantage point, the monkey lizard could hear their strange noises.

"She's a goner. Might as well take her in for scrap."

"I don't think so. We lost the bow and starboard stabilizers and the sublight engines took a pretty nasty hit, but our hyperdrive still works."

"I wouldn't pay a bent credit for her, Thix."

"Wait until I'm done working my magic, Grant. Pull out the spare parts from the storage bins and start pulling some durasteel plates off the interior passages. We can use it to--hey! Something hit me!"

The monkey lizard chittered with delight. It had succeeded in pelting one of the strange creatures with a small piece of rotting fruit it had been saving as a snack. It looked around quickly for something else to throw.

"Looks like...I don't know. Where'd it come from--ow!"

A small rock bounced off the second stranger.

"Hey! Now something's hitting me, too!"

Screeching with laughter, the monkey lizard stooped down for another rock.

"Wait! Over there, in those bushes!"

When the monkey lizard turned to throw, both sets of eyes were locked on him. Kowakians are not stupid creatures--they know when they've been spotted. This one was not exceptionally bright, however, and froze, hoping they'd forget about him.

"Get it out of here, Thix!"

"What do you want me to do? Shoot at it?"

"I don't know, use your imagination. Or something."

The second creature began to walk toward the monkey lizard. It began to tremble with fear--what if th

 

Talk about your long days - everything from children's holos to Star Destroyers to Kowakian monkey-lizards.

Reading "Rise and Shine" I was reminded of the profile for the Rebel Ordnance Procurer template in the old WEG "Heroes, Villains, and Rogues" RPG supplement. For "Goals" it had "To steal an Imperial shuttle ... with the Emperor still in it." Sounds like Grant and Thix, alright.

 

Heheh! I just went through my closet and dug out that book to check the quote. Very nice. They do fit that template pretty well.

This wraps up my posting frenzy, too, I think. I've got some old stuff, but I ain't posting it.

I'm going to get to work on something new, though. This time I'm going to post it in the same thread so it doesn't get spread all over.

 

If the new stuff's a continuation of this story, by all means post it here, but if it's a different storyline it's better to post it in another thread so readers don't have to dig through these two chapters to get to the new material. Better to start off fresh, although next time it would be better to put the entire story in one thread rather than four

 

Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm too used to using a different forum, where each chapter was a separate thread. It was much less active than this forum.

EDIT: I still don't have a title for this piece. Each "chapter" has a title, but the entire work doesn't. I was going to call it "The Longest Day" but I have too much respect for John Wayne and Sean Connery to name it that. Any suggestions?

 

Maybe something along the lines of "It's Been a Long Day" or "Just Not Our Day" - something like that. I'll pass along any other ideas when I'm not lit on a Manhattan

 

Nothing Squadron? Wheel and deal? *snorts with laughter*

I liked Hendrickson and the brisk way he dealt with poor hungover Janner.

That last sentence was prophetic. Not much that can go wrong? "One step at a time." LOL!

Everything goes wrong for Grant and Thix, doesn't it? They manage to repair the ship, but the TIE's are waiting for them when they come back up, and to top it all off, Grant left his welder back on the planet.

Too funny, the way Thix worked his magic by shooting the food machine!

Highly delightful stories. I'll be looking forward to more of your stories. [Palpatine] We shall watch your career with great interest. [/Palpatine]

A suggestion for a story title? "It's been a long week to-day"?

 

LOL - this is great, Z. A joy and a giggle to read. Two title suggestions: "All in a day's work" or "One life in the day of a Rebel."

I can sympathise with Thix. I have those problems with my car - except I don't use a blaster, I use a 10lb hammer.

 

Alion: I was going to respond last night, but I was pounding Screwdrivers myself. I highly recommend Stoli Ohranj. I had no idea they made an orange-flavored vodka. Chef Boyardee, eat yer heart out!

Jane_Jinn: My grandfather would call Thix and Grant shlimazels, which is Yiddish for "he who has the soup spilled on him." I guess that the Force itself (or luck) takes the place of the shlimiel, or "he who spills the soup." I've got a new one in the works. The beginning will be up soon. By "in the works" I mean I have a blank document loaded up, which I will now stare at all evening.

Tahi: Thanks! I personally use a wrench on my car. Not one of those little wimpy ones, but one of the old-school iron monsters that could crack open a bank vault if you swing it hard enough. Usually just brandishing it while yelling threats gets my car to behave.

Also, thanks for the title suggestions, everyone!

 

Yep - the "insult-while-waving-a-piece-of-heavy-metal" technique works well. I'd highly recommend that. Doesn't work so well with computers though - you have to be more sneaky with them.

Feel free to PM me when your blank document gets some squiggles on it. I tend to cruise around on the Beyond the Saga board more often than this one so often miss when people are posting.

 

Any interesting squiggles, yet?