FF:NZ Kiwi Bashing (Yes, a LOTR topic)

We are not amused.

http://www.theonering.net/perl/newsview/8/1011229855

THE HECKLER (from Sydney Morning Herald): What is it with the Kiwis and The Lord of the Rings? The way they're carrying on you'd thing they'd split the atom. Look, Mum, moving pictures on a big wall! It's the talkies! I don't want to bag New Zealand and the massive packet of Smith's (chips)
on their collective shoulders. But it's not like they just invented Vegemite (spread) or did anything useful. The Lord of the Rings is a film. Quite a long film. A couple of hours of it are very watchable. But, come on, there is no reason for New Zealanders to portray Rings as though it's the biggest single contribution to Western society since the Enlightenment.

The most pathetic part is that they can't even boast about having really made the movie as such. Peter Jackson may be the fush and chups front man, but the film's as Yankee as baseball. The sheep-shaggers have trouble funding a proper football team; international blockbuster movies are way out of their league. What we are left with is the pathetic sight of our Kiwi cousins boasting about how great the scenery looks. The Government is even pumping what remains of its budget into an advertising campaign to tell the world about the national role as an extra. It's sad really. And desperate. Imagine Bikini Atoll advertising itself as a nuclear superpower and you can see what I mean. Is it really something to boast about that Tolkien's Middle-Earth could be so easily created in the Shaky Isles? A tale of simple people living a simple life without modern technology? We're talking about New Zealand here - how hard can it be? Mocking up the Middle Ages must have been a piece of cake in a country yet to discover crop rotation. I would have thought that the biggest problem faced by the producers was making Wellington look modern enough to pass for anything after AD1300. You have to remember New Zealand is the only country in the world where you could film Xena without building any sets.

The more you think about it the more you realise that making The Lord of the Rings in New Zealand would have presented no great challenge. Filming conditions are ideal. No air force to accidentally get into shot. No smog from industry to get in the way. The biggest continuity issue would be the slightly more modern breed of merino in the background.

Let's get this straight. The story in the Rings revolves around a race of short, slightly furry creatures who are none too bright but relatively loyal in a tight spot. If this doesn't scream the middle bit of ANZAC, I can't imagine what would. Kiwis would do anything for real currency, so finding the extras would have been easy. Apart from having to explain what "action" means. "Hey, guys, imagine Christchurch, but with, like, pubs and stuff." Getting the extras to dress like serfs would hardly have been difficult. Just tell them there was a wedding on and ask them to dress it up a bit. And what's all this nonsense about the incredible attention to detail? I don't think it would have been that hard to faithfully replicate Tolkien's Goblin language. For your average Kiwi, Goblin comes easy. It's English they have trouble with. Need a crowd of Orcs? Stumpy blokes as thick as two short planks who are ready to rip your head off at any moment. The All Blacks wouldn't even have to wear make-up.

As I understand it, the movie goes for three hours and the entire plot involves one gold ring. Which they want to destroy. Only in the New Zealand economy would this be considered a worthwhile allocation of labour. Middle-Earth your Kiwis can do. It's more recent times they struggle with. Let's see them try a film about a contemporary multicultural society with an economy capable of producing elaborately transformed manufactures. Now, there's a challenge."

 

As I understand it, the movie goes for three hours and the entire plot involves one gold ring. Which they want to destroy...


this d|ck hasn't even watched the movie. He's doing a Mark!

"my friend told me..."



EDIT = dont let any Auzzies see this!

 

I think he has a point...












NOT!!!

 

its pretty harsh, funny in parts, but verging on the nasty in others
...while aussie may be bigger than us, and richer, its still like NZ was in the 1980s, although the Olympics may have spruced sydney up a little

 

Considering the blatant inherant racism in Australia's past (and sadly, present - Tampa refugees, One Nation party etc), it is this statement that disgusts me the most;

Let's see them try a film about a contemporary multicultural society

 

we could sit here all day pickkking out individual quotes and putting our opinionson them... so lets do it!

The way they're carrying on you'd thing they'd split the atom

Wasn't one of the guys (Rutherford or something) instrumental in that?

The sheep-shaggers have trouble funding a proper football team

Great originality this guy shows. And does he mean soccer or rugby? (if Soccer - hes may have that one )

Mocking up the Middle Ages must have been a piece of cake in a country yet to discover crop rotation

Quite simply: WTF?!

No smog from industry to get in the way

Chans - wanna take a pic of Chch and send it to this person?

Need a crowd of Orcs? Stumpy blokes as thick as two short planks who are ready to rip your head off at any moment. The All Blacks wouldn't even have to wear make-up.

Well he can be excused (Blackadder )

and I say again - this person hasn't even seen the movie!

 

Pretty standard stuff from the Aussies.

They don't seem happy unless they're having a go at someone. Usually us.

I loved friday after the cricket, straight to the local to find the aussies and give them grief. Oooh so sweet.

 

bah crop rotation, we keel them

 

Sounds like someone has got some issues. I would call those comments xenophobic...but it seems some Australians would have trouble understanding what that means. So I'd have to give them a dictionary...but they'd probably flip to "Z"...so I'm not sure the message would get through.

Meh...just someone with a chip on their shoulder...most Aussies I've met are top guys, so I'm not gonna lose too much sleep over the comments of one particular loser.

R.

 

Chans - wanna take a pic of Chch and send it to this person?

just tell me where to send it. I'll make sure I'm in it, proudly displaying my middle finger.

 

wow that guys being pretty harsh, considering the aussie cricket team at the moment isn't he?
If the film had been made in aussie no kiwi would write such a malicious uninformed piece of crap!!

 

lol - Chans, I just wanted a pic of the Smog but sure giving a friendly gesture would also be appreciated

 

I see you are counting down to your departure, SFL.

 

mmmmmmmmm

 

Yes, Australia has its share of complete MORONS as well as any other country. Lump this guy into that basket.

We're not all bad .... honestly!

 

we know! and youre a fine example sil.

example of a good australian , not a bad one. thought I'd make that clear!

 

*cough*suckup*cough*

Somebody wants to be a MOD

You're looking lovely today Sil.

 

Somebody wants to be a MOD

Is DarthSapient here?

 

LOL!

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was friggin' funny!! I'm glad I'm not a Kiwi! Aussies are MORONS!!! Not everyone, maybe, just this particular column writer.



I picked up The Sydney Morning Herald yesterday at the airport, and I came across this little passage, and it goes like this:

Fantasy island erupts

One of Spike's sister columns, Heckler, caused something of a stir this week. Contributor Martin Grahan lauched an attack on New Zealand. It was malicious, unwarranted and savage broadside at a soft target. The type of things Spike likes.
The gist of Graham's piece was that it was unseemly for a nation to celebrate being a film extra, that Lord of the Rings wasn't that good, and mocking up the Middle Ages "in a country yet to discover crop rotation" wasn't that much of a feat. He suggests that hanging round pretending to be Hobbits-stocky, short and sort of furry-is not difficult for New Zealanders and hey, it's not as if they split the atom.
So far the Herald has recieved almost 300 emails in response to the piece and NZ papers have picked up the story. In the interests of healing the rift, we thought we'd give some space to their responses, which we've grouped for ease of analysis.
The first lot can be summed up by the succinct message: "WE DID SPLT THE ATOM, YOU ****er!" (One called Ruthford did, anyway.)
The next group were from those who sought not to defend the Half-Gallon Quarter-Acre Pavlova Paradise, but the movie. These nutters are best ignored. Some were out to intimidate Graham: "All I have to do is make the call tp Bondi, and 40 angry pipe-swinging cuzzy bros are coming around..."
(Graham describes himself as a cardigan-wearing public servant, the type intimidated by Daniel Vittori.)
Other resorted to straight-up knuckle-dragging abuse, and a surprising number referred to Australia's convict past.
An American said that Australians slagging Kiwis was like kids in the slow class bickering over their marks.
Graham reckons few seem to understand why Australians like bagging New Zealand. We do it because we can. There is no malice, and half the time we don't even believe what we say. He admits he has not seen the film or been to NZ and wrote the piece only because he was three bottles of red under-"It was like shooting fish in a barrel."
But he was surpirsed at the strength of the reaction. "I didn't know so many New Zealanders could read."

Wasn't that amusing...

 

"I didn't know so many could read" this guys just asking for trouble now, wheres a bounty hunter when ya need one!!

As for the US comment well I guess ya can't expect much from the yanks, I mean 1/2 of them wouldn't know where NZ or australia are..

"Kids in the slow class..." my ass at least when people leave school in NZ or Aus the vast majority can read!

 

>> Martin Grahan

They've brought this clown to NZ. He's on the promo for 20/20 / 60 Mins (the TV3 version). A story on him is in this week's show I presume.

What a GOOSE!

I had kids like him in my class at school. They were the ones that kept getting beaten up.

 

I see he's gonna do that jump off the skytower thing, anybody up there wanna go cut the cord? You'd be doing the world a favour!!

 

yeah, my thoughts exactly jp