FF:VIC Kla = Tyrant*down_with_cahill/up_with_hawkNC-up_with_chris_brennan+pgymys(evil)*tan(whoa)^points

FORM OF...AN ICE BRIDGE!!!!

WONDER TWINS POWER ACTIVATE!

If I remember correctly, that cry was supposed to come BEFORE they chose what forms and shapes they were going to take.

well yes but they were not experiencing lag that day

LOL....have you ever seen the post about the guy that was playing Star Wars galaxy and set up a BOT to play for him?

It's hilarious.

Nah, I just watched The King of Kong. Very funny little retro game record underworld

'ere tis

The Automated Online Role-Player
It's indistinguishable from live humans!
By Dave "Fargo" Kosak | August 22, 2003

Sure, I love Star Wars Galaxies, the massively multiplayer RPG. I've written about it on several occasions. But I'm past that point where I can dedicate my life to a single game. I'm a very important businessman who does very important business with very important people at very important social engagements, such as watching softcore anime with the dudes in the apartment across from mine.

But, I still want to keep playing. And I want to WIN. I know, I know, the hardcore among you are saying, "But Fargo, you can't 'win' an online RPG. That defeats the purpose." To which I respond: I LIVE to defeat purposes.

And besides, like it or not, people do try to "win" massively multiplayer RPGs. The rules of engagement are something like this:
* If there is a status bar, make it grow bigger
* If there is a number, make it higher
* If it moves, either get a mission from it or kill it
Which got me to thinking: What if I were to unload the boring parts of an MMOG off to someone else? For instance, I love running a business in Star Wars Galaxies, but it's hard to find the time or the patience to work on my combat skillz. What if someone ELSE played that part of the game for me?

My first impulse -- to use a room full of small Korean children -- turned out to be a real nightmare. They kept whining and crying and pointing to their mouths or empty bellies. Who knows what they wanted? I don't speak Korean. Similarly, they didn't understand me when I pointed to the computer monitor and said "Lewt! LEWT!" no matter how loud I shouted it. Clearly I needed a new plan.

Introducing the Autocamp 2000

And so I turned my attention toward robots! Longtime readers may remember when I subtly and successfully used a robot to write my column while I camped in a mall waiting for Diablo II to come out. A similar process could easily play online games for me. After all, I minored in computer science at a prestigious Liberal Arts institution. The hardest part of any project such as this is figuring out the algorithm, but here it is, in its entirety:

The Autocamp 2000 Plays Online RPGs with the following rules:

1. Join any group that invites you
2. When in a group, follow behind the leader
3. Attack any monster you see
4. Accept all trade requests from other players, then give them a melon
Well, that takes care of 90% of online play. All I would need to do is stick my character -- Farglik the Mon Calamari -- in a cantina with a backpack full of melons (ah, sweet delicious fruit!). When I checked on him a week later he'd be what they call "über." But before I got started I had to tackle the tricky part: interaction with other players. If my automated Farglik didn't respond to players who talked to him in a meaningful way, the proverbial jig would be up.

One option was to have my robot randomly bark at people in Mandarin Chinese. But I opted for a much more graceful algorithm:

The Autocamp 2000 talks to other players with following rules:

1. If someone says something ending in a question mark, respond by saying "Dude?"
2. If someone says something ending in an exclamation point, respond by saying "Dude!"
3. If someone says something ending with a period, respond by randomly saying one of three things: "Okie," "Sure," or "Right on."
4. EXCEPTION: If someone says something directly to you by mentioning your name, respond by saying "Lag."
5. (And remember to accept all trade requests from other players by giving them a melon.)
My robot was programmed and ready to go. Hell, if I programmed it to randomly shout "Gimmie buffs!" it would probably pass the turing test. Satisfied, I sat it in front of the keyboard, made sure my character had at least fifty melons in his backpack, and then trudged off to leave it alone for the night.


My character, Farglik the Mon Calamari, waited around in the Cantina for some adventurers. The following is a log of what transpired:

That is beyond comprehension

I cracked up when I firt read that....just the whole "Melon" concept....so cool.

Any concept requiring melons is great

Straight to the gutter.....I'm so proud.

Carry on up the VICFF!

Vader & Mixo Vs the Martians

Vader & Mixo's Bodacious Journey

Vader & Mixo...adventures across the forbidden zone.

Bruce Pea vs. Cluck Norris in "Way of the Chowder"
a Mixo/Vader production

Brusette Lee in "Enter with Drag on."
A Vixo Production or A Mader Production.


I think Vixo works best.

I agree

"John-Claude Van Clam vs. Steven Seagull" in Enter the hamster

A Vixo Production

Steven Seagull swoops into action in "The Chips are down (and so are the dim sims)"
A Vixo Production

Jackie SPAM tumblie kicks Bruce Pea---- "Game of Meat"

A Vixo Production

Sly Standalone in ramBO VI "The search for some deodorant"

A Vixo Production

Bruce Willy in "Stay Hard 5 - The Viagra Connection"

A Vixo Production

Sly Syandalone returns in "The Armpits of doom"

A Vixo Production.

Alfred Hiscock presents "Dial 00-Nude-Me for Satisfaction"

A Vixo Production.

I'm so proud of you both but I dont quite know why...