Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"The huge black bear that just stole a bag of bird seed from you. Rwar."
<Sound of door opening.>
<Sound of shotgun discharging.>
THUD!

You guys don't mess around up there, do ya?
We usually shoot the people standing on our threshholds, you guys have wildlife. Cool!

PALMER - When a bear visited the Jurkowskis' front porch and made off with a bag of birdseed, they called the police.

When the bear came back again and headed for the front screen door, Allan T. Jurkowski took the matter into his own hands.

"The bear was coming right at me," Jurkowski said.
He grabbed his 12-gauge Ithaca shotgun and pumped four shots into the 300-pound male bear.

He said he didn't want to shoot the bear, but he had no choice. He thinks the bear was either coming back for his Chihuahuas or for him and his wife.

http://www.masslive.com/hampfrank/republican/index.ssf?/base/news-7/1092734879304750.xml

Don't get between a man and his chihuahuas. That's what I always say. lol

 

Here's a handy tip: If you see a bear, CLOSE THE FRICKIN DOOR!!
He's got more of a right to be their than you do. If I ever see this guy coming to my door, I'll assume he's coming to kill me and will shoot him.

 

Other than a shotgun in one hand and a chihuaha in the other, how would you know it's him? lol

 

I'll know the same way he knew the bear was coming for him, his wife or his dog