Before KOTOR: An unlikely heroine

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Padawan4687, Jul 18, 2010.

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  1. Jedi_Corin_Daan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2010
    star 3
    Caught up finally, Padawan. Awesome story. Very original, and good plot twists. I'm interested to see how the Star Maps/Star Forge plays into this. Did you get to play the whole game yet? It's awesome!!! If you need any help with KotOR era stuff, just ask. I'll be happy to help if I can, or look up the info for you! But anyways, Great Story!!!
  2. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    What a relief to see Koi, Peter, and Raven all together again. It's looking like the quest for the Star Forge is beginning, and these kids will be able to join in and help. Their three-way Force bond will help out in the future, I'm sure.
  3. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Jedi_Corin_Daan: Origionality...action...interaction...it sounds like I can do it all! Hopefully, I'll get better and better as time goes on! :D

    SoA: Yep! The crew is finally all together. Your hunch is right in a way. As "The three," they will have special Force powers and such, but they must find out how to use them, and the right time! The waiting game has started again...

    Time to get started!

    Part 29

    What Koi had spoken about from those "Star Map," things from before must have been true. After training sessions, Nalana and Bastilla spent more and more time together, murmuring about them. The two were almost inseparable! But Raven, Koi and Peter were pretty much the same way.

    The three of them would spend hours talking about old times; and Peter and Koi got to know one another better. Peter, in turn, was adjusting quite well to the Alcove. He would have to get a Master of his own, but until then, he stuck by Raven and Koi during their lessons. But, within two weeks of his stay, that was taken care of. Bastilla had pulled Peter aside and told him that there was a Jedi Knight who had longed for a Padawan for a long time, by the name of Juhani.

    It was then future Master and Apprentice were able to meet face-to-face. "Here he is, Juhani." Bastilla said, as she walked beside him. Raven wasn't familiar with the species she was, but the Jedi Knight appeared to be quite...feline in appearance. With large pointed ears, and even claws, she'd swear she was a cat in truth! But, the real fun started as Master and Padawan shook hands, and accepted one another.

    Since Peter was new to the training, he had just as much trouble as Raven when she first began. He never ran into Alek, though, much to her relief. But after several weeks of training, the light saber was second nature to him. It was after his third month of training when the "Star Maps" came into focus again; Nalana and Bastilla had made plans to go to Kashyyyk to find more of them.

    And yes, the Padawans would accompany them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The green lush world of Kashyyk slowly appeared in the window of the Ebon Hawk. Raven was standing behind the co-pilot's chair, completely full of excitement. The boys were shaking beside her. Whether it was with nerves, or excitement like her, Raven hadn't an idea. Unfortunately, Shyriiwook was one of the languages Raven didn't understand, so, for her, she was practically surrounded by animal growls.

    "Oh, come on..." she grumbled under her breath. "I could speak Huteese, why can't I speak this?" Peter fell into step with her. "I know..." he replied softly. "They're all around us, yet I don't know a word their saying either."

    But, it seemed Nalana did. Well, she must have, at this point! There was an official looking guard at the gate of one of the elevators. He roared at the entire group, and Raven's Master quickly got in front of the towering Wookie. "There's no problem here." she said. "We just have to get down to the Shadowlands." In response, the Wookie growled again, and to Raven, this sounded like a laugh. "I'm sure we'll manage down there." Nalana replied stiffly to the guard, as he stepped aside.

    "What was he saying back there?" Raven whispered to Nalana as the elevator began lowering. "At first," she replied, "he just shouted 'Halt.' But when I mentioned the Shadowlands, he exploded laughing, saying 'Wha-- the Shadowlands? Ha! Nothing can survive down there!' "

    She rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah? Well, wait till you see their faces when we come back up!" Raven said, mischief on her face. Nalana chuckled. "I can hardly wait." she replied, smiling.

    Ugh....not a lot of ideas today, I suppose...I'll edit this when I get the chance. I am SOOO NOT leaving it here like this!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    EDIT: I can't wait to get this part started. So much has been happening, and I've gotten distracted...Time to get started!


    The Shadowlands were a more dangerous place then Raven first assumed. The darkess and
  4. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    And the adventure begins! I'm glad to see Juhani join the gang now! I do love Juhani a lot.
  5. Jedi_Corin_Daan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2010
    star 3
    Juhani was one of my favorite characters from the first KotOR!!! =D
  6. Shillani Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2011
    star 1
    Nice chapters! So, they're off on the Star Map chase! I like that you paired Juhani and Peter together as Master and Padawan; it'll be interesting to see how they do together.

    Down to the Shadowlands, are they? They might have a bit of a job getting through there. If I were them, I wouldn't talk about coming back up until they've found the Star Map and are back in the elevator. And if I remember Kashyyyk correctly, the Star Map isn't all that they'll find down there...
  7. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    UGH! This story has been placed on the sidelines for tooo long! I'll send up a new part right away!

    >__< Sorry, you guys!
  8. Shillani Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2011
    star 1
    Yay, an edit! :D The crew is getting a bit of exercise with the katarn down there, I see. I've always loved Kashyyyk--it just seems so alive, from the hunting cries of nocturnal predators in the treetops to the tach down in the Shadowlands. Perhaps I'd have a slightly less charitable opinion of the planet if I'd actually been there and encountered the wildlife myself, however.

    A man with a lightsaber fighting katarn in the Shadowlands...are we about to meet the self-described "crazy old man who lives in the dangerous woods"? [face_batting]
  9. Jedi_Corin_Daan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2010
    star 3
    Very nice addition! Are we going to see any Terentatek in this story? =D
  10. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    A terentatek? Umm...I wasn't really thinking of those creatures, but...maybe I could throw them in somewhere!
  11. Jedi_Corin_Daan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2010
    star 3
    I was just wondering, since you have to fight one on Kasshyyk. But you write your story the way you want to, don't let me interfere.:cool:
  12. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    No problem. I've got another piece finished, it's just the matter of finding the right chance to post it this weekend!
  13. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Okay, it's about time I get a new part finished. I've got a few ideas, but I just hope I don't mess up on the other creatures that live on Kashyyk!

    Part 30 

    At the sight of Nalana rushing forward, ligthsaber flaring should have scared at least one of the katarns off. But it did the opposite. Two more of them came up behind her and rushed forward. She turned around to face them at the same time Carth fired a volley of shots.

    One of the katarns got struck on the shoulder from the blaster bolts, but the other sprang for Nalana, taking her to the ground. By then, the rest of the group reached them. Almost machine-like, they suddenly split into groups to take down the seven katarns.

    Carth and Koi finished off the one with an injured shoulder, Juhani and Peter tag-teamed against one of the three attacking the man, while Raven and Bastilla struggled to get the beast off of Nalana. 

    Bastilla used the Force to hurl the katarn up high in the air, but stopped Raven as she was about to throw her lightsaber at it. The fall was enough for the the katarn, because it hissed a snarl at them, and whipped around and fled. "Don't kill unless you have to." she murmured to her as she moved to aid Juhani, Peter and the mystery man.

    Raven pulled her Master to her feet, and all together, they made quick work of the remaining katarns. One got cut down, while the others fled, seeing how well their opponents could fight.

    Now they at last got the chance to meet the man they rescued; Jolee Bindo.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "You've been here for how long?!" Raven blurted out in shock. They were resting at Jolee's modest hut, and he just explained to them how he had been living in this dangerous place for four decades.

    He let out a chuckle as he replied," I've grown used to it--well, you'd have to after living here this long!" 
    "How could you get used to...to this? There are katarns everywhere!" Raven insisted.

    He laughed again, and said nothing. Juhani spoke next. "If you were a Jedi, then why come here?" "All of this talk of Light side this and Dark side that..."Raven swore she saw Jolee roll his eyes-- "Light, dark, it makes no difference to me."

    Eventually, the discussion began to lean toward their mission. "So, what's your story?" Jolee asked them. "You can't be just taking a walk, right?"

    "No, we're not." Nalana replied with a slight chuckle. "We're here for a...well, for a Star Map, actually. Since you've stayed here for so long, would you know where it is?"

    "You think I wouldn't be familiar with this place?" Jolee asked scathingly. "I know this area like the back of my hand. I also might know about this "Star Map," of yours."
    "You've seen it?" Nalana and Bastilla's gazes were both excited.

    Jolee absently flicked a hand. "I've seen everything when it comes to the Shadowlands. I could take you there, but there's something I'd like after."

    Nalana's face was guarded as she asked,"Which is...?"

    "To be able to travel off-world again." he simply said. Nalana glanced at Carth, who was looking at all of the other members of the crew. "We're going to need a bigger ship..." she muttered softly.

    Since they had a guide now, getting to the map was no trouble at all. Raven was honestly expecting something more, because all she could see was a black pyramid shaped object posted on the ground. "This is as far as I've ever gotten with it, because it needs some kind of identification." Jolee said.

    Nalana tilted her head to one side. "Well...with the first one, we just walked over to it...maybe..." she walked into the faint light beam that emaciated from the black pyramid. It began to glow a bright green for a moment, then it stopped completely.

    "Identity confirmed." a robotic voice said. "Revan."

    "Did that thing just say my name?" the words spilled out of Raven's mouth before she could stop them. Nalana shook her head no, but shrugged when she asked when it meant by "Revan" instead.

    In responce to the identity, there was a dark orb that exited from the pyramid, and hovered in the air for a moment, growing
  14. Shillani Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2011
    star 1
    Nice! I feel sorry for Raven and Peter; it must be hard for them to have been taken away from home and lost their parents (though hopefully they'll manage to find and rescue their parents from the Sith or whatever's happened to them).

    And we get to see Jolee now [face_dancing] (I like Jolee a lot, if you haven't already guessed!) His character sounds pretty good to me. Right before introducing canon characters into my writing, I like to read up on them at Wookieepedia, look at their quotes to get a feel for how they speak (someone outspoken like Jolee should have a number of quotes in the Quote of the Day archives, but others may not have as many), and try to flesh them out a bit more in my head--figure out where they came from, what their background and history is, things like that. Perhaps I obsess over it a bit (my family probably wonders what I'm doing pacing around and talking to myself about the characters), but my main plot bunnies for a couple of recent projects were actually products of this fleshing-out process.

    Are you planning on writing the stuff with Bacca's Blade and the wookiee revolution? I believe around there is where the terentatek comes in in the game.
  15. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Good updates! I love Jolee Bindo, he's absolutely my favorite character in the entire game.

    I agree with Shillani - Wookiepedia and its various pages on characters really help out. I get into Jolee's head better than other characters simply because I wish I was him... but yeah reading up on quotations and going over some dialogue always helps with canon characters. But absolutely do not be afraid to experiment and give your own spin on them! The little Yoda guy, Vandar Tokare, seemed to be a rather dull character during KotOR, so in my fic I gave him a bit of a snappy and impatient side, because people aren't one-dimensional, so neither are their personalities!
  16. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Vandar, dull? [face_laugh] Don't let Bastilla hear you say that! She really admires and respects him. :D

    I hadn't seen much of him in the Kotor videos I watched, so I can't really say anything. But, about the impatient side, is that fan fic in your signature? I'd love to see it, and it sounds really funny! :)
  17. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Yup, although since the fic linked to in my siggy is quite long, it might take a long time to get to Vandar... I don't even remember what chapter it is, haha. But please, do read, I need more readers!
  18. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Oh alright, I'll take a look at it when I have time. School starts up again tomorrow, so I probably won't be on until Saturday, if I'm lucky, Friday.
  19. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Looking pretty good! Though that was an awfully short jaunt through the shadow lands. Not so terrifying as the Wookiees played it out to be.

    As to canon characterization, one thing to keep in mind when researching a character (whether through playing the game, watching recap videos and youtube, or wookieepedia articles), pay attention to their speech patterns. Are they formal, informal, or somewhere in between? What sorts of phrases and words to they use frequently. You should also map out in your head their relationships with the other characters you have around them. What do they think of the other characters and what do they other characters thing of them. Also bear in mind their back story, which explains how they got where they did and why they act like they do. Keeping that kind of stuff in your head or in a little notebook makes your characters a lot fuller once they hit the page of your story.
  20. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    o_O

    SoA, did you think I'd make it this easy for them? The Shadowlands is a very dangerous place, according to the Wookies, and I plan for my characters to have a little...surprise while coming back! :p
  21. Qui-Gon_Reborn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2008
    star 6
    "Surprise?" Now I'm intrigued. :D
  22. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Xp Who knew how hard writing a decent part could be! This is a tough idea to work with, so this delay might be a bit longer...Sorry! I might just start over with the part...
  23. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    AT LAST! I can finally finish this blasted piece! I decided to drop the "surprise," and move on.

    Part 31

    The 'Star Map,' Raven had seen was rooted in her mind. She kept thinking of the many planets and stars visible, and those that were missing. The maps were like a giant puzzle...pieces were missing.

    A distant roar tore her from her thoughts, and almost everyone looked upward. "Oh great..." Nalana grumbled. "More katarns..." Jolee was staring off into the foggy air, and shook his head. "They are too far away to be much of a problem." he said, marching ahead.

    Just when he was a foot ahead of Bastilla, who had been in the lead, another, much louder and closer roar shook the ground in front of them. "W-was that...too far to be a problem...?" Raven asked, her eyes wide, looking around quickly. jolly didn't reply to this. In fact, he ran several steps further then them, and then froze. He whipped around, and sprinted back to the group.

    "I forgot about this area..." he said ruefully. "We're very close to the border of a katarn family's camp." Bastilla stared at him, as did all of the other adults. "We're....near what?!" Juhani said, copying Bastilla's stare perfectly. jolly gestured with an arm to the left, and said, "Relax! Their border goes this way. Just follow me, and keep quiet." he glared at Raven, Koi and Peter especially at the last few words.

    As they passed by the katarns, Raven was almost too worried to breath deeply. There was a group of at least ten sprawled in the clearing, and probably more around. Luck was with them this time, and none of the katarns that noticed really paid attention.

    The elevator was reached eventually, and that was when Raven remembered the snooty Wookie guard they passed by before. She held a laugh at the thought of his face when he saw them.


    As you can guess, the Kashyyk Star Map was really hard to complete, so I want to move on to another soon...



    It felt like only a few hours after leaving Kashyyk's system did they have another Star map targeted. absolutely no one could believe where it seemed to be.

    D"#$%...if we knew it was on that planet before, we could have nabbed it when we went to get Raven and Koi!" Nalana blurted out when Bastilla revealed what she believed to be the next Star map's location; Tatooine.

    "I knew we had been there before, and I heard their voices at a point. I also heard the explosion of that astromech Raven used before. It was the only place that made the connection!" Bastilla insisted.

    While the adults continued their talk, Raven noticed Koi was gripping the Ebon Hawk's table edge very hard. His knuckles were pale against the gray of the metal. He seemed very....anxious...about something. "What's wrong?" she whispered to him.

    Koi hid a light smile at Raven's question. "Nothing!" he whispered back. "I...If the star map is really on Tatooine, I'll be able to see my mom!" Raven smiled back. Ever since the day Koi had left her for Jedi Training, he had always missed her.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The trip to the dust-ball that was Tatooine was much like Raven's trip to Cloud City. Two days of prepareing. Koi was shivering with nerves at the moment the amber ball came in sight. Carth, who had just then began the landing gear, hid a chuckle at Koi's staring. "You must be dying to see her, aren't you?" he asked him. Koi's shining eyes were tell-tale.

    Okay, this is all for now. For the next two or three parts, I plan to tell this from Koi's POV. Either that or it will alternate.
  24. Shillani Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2011
    star 1
    A whole clearing full of katarn? :eek: Not the most convenient thing to forget! I suppose it's better than a terentatek, though. I'm curious as to what the surprise was going to be, but I guess sometimes the ideas just don't cooperate.

    I'm looking forward to seeing Koi and his mom together again! :) I was wondering whether they would get to see each other when the crew went to Tatooine.

    Just a note: I noticed a couple of sentences whose first words weren't capitalized. It's not a big thing, just something I thought I'd mention.
  25. Padawan4687 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2010
    star 4
    Shillani Yeah...about that surprise, I intended for them to have a fight with a tarentatek, but I rewrote that part about three times and it didn't sound right...it didn't cooperate at all.

    Oh shoot! Thanks for pointing that out...I'll need to edit my stuff more carefully.
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