/*\/*\~Kuro-n~/*\/*\ (JA/Drama/Action--Some Obi-Torture)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by SiriGallia, Sep 23, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Title: Kuro-n

    Author: SiriGallia

    Rating: PG (Violence)

    Genre: Action/Drama

    Timeframe: JA

    Central Characters: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

    Summery: Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to a planet to discover the truth behind a murder being blamed on the Emprincess of the planet, but as their mission unfolds Qui-Gon begins to discovers there is more to this mystery than meets the eye.

    Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are not mine but the property of George Lucas, Jude Watson, Dave Wolverton or Scholastic. All others are mine. I don't have any special permission write this, but I'm not getting paid, it's just for fun! :)

    *Italics* and //Thoughts//

    Author's Note: Hey all! I'm back with, yes, another story ;) This story may seem a little plodding, I don't know, but you'll only really appreciate the story if you stick around for the kinda surprise ending. (also, if you know what the title implicates please do not say it aloud. *whispers conspiritorly* it's a secret ;) )


    Well, without further talking-too-much, I give you:

    _____________________________________________

    <><>Kuro-n<><>

    _____________________________________________

    Donté walked down the corridor of his brother's old house. He hated the Jedi. They ruined his brother's reputation *before* they murdered him, and in their proud family, it was unacceptable.

    Donté had a pale face that was flushed with rage, his eyes were steely and his dark black hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail. He whipped around corners, and smashed occasional objects.

    "Qui-Gon Jinn!" He screamed as he smashed in a vase. His rage consumed him and he flung out a hand and a near by chair flew across the room as if pushed by some unseen force. "I'll kill you Jinn!" He screamed. "You killed my father, you murderer." He seethed. "And now you've killed my brother!" He whirled again and smashed in a mirror cutting his fist and causing it to bleed. His brother was born by Donté's father's second wife, but the two had always been close, when Qui-Gon had taken his brother to the Temple Donté had been happy for him, and was grateful to the Jedi knight, now he wanted to kill him. His eyes flared at the very thought of Qui-Gon.

    His evil mind worked quickly trying to construct the most painful way to kill the Jedi. He turned into the last room of his brother's house. It appeared empty, but he knew better. He and his brother, when they were young, had worked on their plans for a transparent steel door that could be touched to make it disappear and could only be unlocked and opened with the Force that they possessed, but didn't understand, so that only they could open it. Donté put his hands against the wall and it flickered, the man probed for the lock, he found it and unlocked it swiftly. The door slid open and Donté walked in, instantly seeing something that made him start, and upon impulse he backed up a step. He stared at what was sitting across from him, and then a smile spread across his face.

    //Yes, of course, his brother had left him exactly what he needed to seek revenge on Qui-Gon Jinn.//

    _____________________________________________
  2. Siri_Z Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 3
    Wahoo! New story! :D'

    Great start.. i do like where this is going... :p

    Till Later~
    Siri
  3. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  4. Glad is June Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2000
    star 4
  5. Jade_Skywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2000
    star 4
    Lately I have found myself steering further away from JA stories, but I think that after that very interesting introduction, I may try this one out. ;) Nice beginning. I'm interested to see how this unfolds. Murder mysteries are interesting. They're fun to write! I'm writing one of my own. :D Yet, probably another reason why I was drawn to this story. ;) Can't wait for more. :D
  6. OBI_JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2001
    star 4
    nice start. keep it up :)
  7. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    A recommendation for all you readers out there: this is, in my personal opinion, one of Siri's better fics and the ending she mentioned is well worth waiting for! :)

    Okay, now I've done my positive bit. No more Miss Nice Sister... [face_devil]

    Yup, I'm going to irritate you, make veiled hints out loud, and laugh hysterically at all the wrong moments!! Take now for example: Bwahahahaha!

    See, this is what happens when I like your stories: I turn into a maniacal pain in the neck. And don't bother hiding! *starts to sing wickedly* You can't wiiiin, you can't break even, and you can't kick me off of the thread! (don't you just *love* that movie?) :D

    UP!

    Sarah >^,,^<
  8. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Ooh nice start Siri! Looking forward to another of your fics.
  9. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Siri_Z: Hey Siri! Good to see ya!! Thanx! :)

    PadawanKitara: Hey Kitara! :D

    Glad Is June: Hey! Glad your liking it...wait ;)

    Jade_Skywalker: WoW! I feel very honored! I'm glad you'd make an exception for my story :) Hope you like it!

    OBI_JEDI: Hey thanks! :D

    Sarah_K: OH MAN!! My sisters tailing me!! ;) Okay but DON'T say anything!!...oh and I don't happen to like that song, but of course, BEING my sis you all ready knew that :p

    Wild_Huntress: Hey girl! Glad you're liking it :)

    Okay, kinda a LONGISH post :)

    _____________________________________________

    ***

    Another bomb exploded a ways off, Qui-Gon Jinn whirled to make sure his apprentice was still just behind him. "Padawan?" Obi-Wan jerked his attention quickly to his Master. Qui-Gon had been very impressed and pleased with his apprentice's control against fear. Truthfully, Obi-Wan had every reason to be afraid; the constant bombings of the Quontine's were shaking the ancient buildings of Quirtary loose and debris could fall at any moment. Two weeks ago they had been sent to rescue the royal family from the invading armies of the old capitol, Quont, but the Quontines had arrived early and attacked the people of Quirtary. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had managed to help the royal family escape on the Jedi's own transport, but Qui-Gon couldn't get Obi-Wan to go with them, the faithful apprentice insisted on staying with his Master. The Quintarians were not warriors, but they were putting up a great fight. None would leave the planet and their only thought was to get the Jedi to the only transport left on the planet.

    "Master!" Obi-Wan called bringing Qui-Gon's mind instantly back to the present. Qui-Gon turned in time to see a Quontine running up to him. Qui-Gon dodged the man but the Quontine threw down a gas bomb blowing dioxis across the surface. Obi-Wan fell back, Qui-Gon fell the other way, and, in the midst of this distraction, the Quontines attacked. The Quintarians around them immediately went on defense, rising to meet the surge, but several had already fallen from the toxic gas.

    "Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon called, he could hear the boy calling frantically, his fear finally spreading loose.

    "Master!" He screamed, and Qui-Gon spun towards the sound... Then he saw the boy running towards him, but ranks of the Quontines surrounded him.

    "No!" Qui-Gon pushed through, trying to reach his apprentice.

    "Qui-Gon!" He heard the scream again and his heart lurched painfully, the boy was crying out in pain. Then he felt it, the feeling he had always dreaded.

    He felt their bond break off.

    "Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon ran forward, but he felt the bond empty as he stretched out to grasp Obi-Wan's mind. The attackers turned on Qui-Gon and the Jedi Master ignited his lightsaber, but he had completely lost sight of the boy.

    "Sóntidra kay?" One taunted, Qui-Gon heard the words, and knew what they meant.

    *Do you want the boy?*

    Qui-Gon's eyes flared he slashed his lightsaber at the alien taking him down in one blow. He pushed further forward, he felt Obi-Wan just barely only as a presence in the living Force, but without their bond he couldn't find him easily.

    "Obi-Wan, please tell me where you are." Qui-Gon begged. Suddenly he noticed a barricade of Quintarians standing in a protective circle warding off the enemy. Dodging the few aliens he was engaged with, Qui-Gon darted quickly to the group and stared to slip his way through; they parted for him and Qui-Gon knelt down next to the limp form of his apprentice. "Obi-Wan," The boy's face was constricted in pain.

    "My leg." He whispered, Qui-Gon winced when he saw that the boy's leg was badly injured, maybe even shattered. He carefully scooped the boy up into his arms.

    "Cóncoda kay?"

    "He's injured." Qui-Gon nodded at the Quintary warrior's question.

    "Gónseedo chóss." The man said quietly. Qui-Gon nodded.

    "Yes, we will leave immediately." Qui-Gon turned from the battle, the Quintarians protecting him as he carried his ap
  10. Siri_Z Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 3
    Wahoo Siri makes another appearance! ;)

    hmm A new mission and another murder... cant wait for more!

    Till Later~
    Siri
  11. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    Yeah, okay, you're right, I knew that... :D

    What's the good of being a big sister if you can't be effectively irritating?

    UP!

    Sarah >^,,^<
  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    New mission- new murder
    and of course...dark, evil meanines lurking in shadows. Can't wait for more :)
  13. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Siri_Z: Yeah! More Siri ;)

    Sarah_K: Oh Joy....you know what I should put up a sign: NO SISTERS ADMITTED ;) J/K :D

    Padawan_Kitara: Yeah...hee hee hee....gotta love those things ;)

    'Nother post:

    _____________________________________________

    Kioyto was a red planet, the deep crimsion of the sandy surface had an eerie look and the very light and air seemed to have the tinges of red. They landed on the docking platform that had been reserved for them. Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon out of the transport and Qui-Gon's eyes took in everything: the strange buildings of Kioy, the capital, had layered sqare roofs pointing up towards spires. The dark haired natives moved quickly through the streets, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's even slightly tanned skin was a sharp contrast to the suprisingly pale skin of the Kioyzahns. Obi-Wan was hanging close to Qui-Gon as the men passed them.

    "We are going straight to the capital building." Qui-Gon whispered to Obi-Wan. The boy locked his eyes on the huge palace ahead. There were three spired roofs in a row, but they all belonged to the same large stone building. Qui-Gon studied the red sand that had been packed down by the many feet that walked on them. It had a sparkling look to it as well as being the
    deepest red Qui-Gon had ever seen. The Jedi soon reached the Emperor's palace, a man with dark eyes and hair hanging around his shoulders showed them in and then he passed them off to a middle-aged woman.

    "Greetings Jedi." She bowed to them. "I am Mai Kumiko, I am pleased to make your acquaintance." Qui-Gon bowed to her in return.

    "I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi." Obi-Wan bowed when he was introduced.

    "I am the Emprincess' aid. Her uncle, and our Emperor, has requested her to meet with you, as he has business he needs to complete before he can meet with the honorable Jedi." Qui-Gon nodded.

    "That is quite all right." He had wanted to meet with Kadiri as it was. They were shown into an exotic sitting room, the walls had strange mosaics of battles and victory celebrations. Qui-Gon sat down next to Obi-Wan on the two of the low, hard seated chairs which also had elaborate designs on them.

    "Emprincess Kadiri Rieko Yoshika Nouo." From another room separated by long strings of coral beads, a young woman entered. Her hair was pulled back onto the top of her head with two long pins topped with carved gold pieces, her deep red and purple dress reached to the floor and her sleeves were very wide at the opening. A thick sash was wrapped around her waist and her feet made a light tapping noise as she walked. The young woman studied the two Jedi, her dark eyes flicking from one to the other. She sat down in a disdainful fashion.

    "Leave us, Mai." The woman bowed her head and stepped out of the room. Qui-Gon waited a moment before speaking.

    "Emprincess Ka--"

    "Call me Kadiri." The young woman corrected sharply. "Until I am Empress I do not wish to be reminded of my other rank." Qui-Gon nodded simply.

    "Kadiri, we are here to investigate your father's death."

    "Yes I know," Kadiri poured tea for the two Jedi. "My uncle is trying to clear my name, he must not realize that he will never sway the people." Qui-Gon cocked an eyebrow.

    "Why do the people think that you killed your father?" He asked.

    "They do not want me as an Empress." Kadiri's eyes were cold. "I believe they would do anything to choose their own leader, even accuse me of a crime I did not commit."

    "What is the evidence against you?"

    "My uncle will not tell me. He says it is best if I do not know." Qui-Gon nodded.

    "I can see the prudence in that." Qui-Gon paused, uncertain if he should ask the next question. "What is the evidence for you?" Kadiri's eyes turned fiery.

    "I did not murder my father."

    "It won't take your defense far."

    "If they cannot trust me, then they will not trust anyone else. I shall be Empress, it is not their decision."

    "If the people don't want you as an Empress." Qui-Gon continued. "Why would someone kill you
  14. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Ooh nasty little thing, that Kadiri! Great posts Siri!
  15. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
  16. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    Guess you forgot, huh? ;)

    Ugh, Kadiri just set my teeth on edge! She was practically beyond frustrating. I guess it's all that two-year-old behavior and snobby disposition... :p

    Up!

    Sarah >^,,^<
  17. Siri_Z Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 3
    A doll?? Spoiled lil doll...

    Great chap n e wayz! Can't wait for more.

    TIll Later~
    Siri
  18. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    a doll? Oh yes, an absolutely adorable CREATURE
  19. Jade_Skywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2000
    star 4
    Lookin' good! :) I wonder what's up with Obi-Wan. This is getting weird. I don't think it was Kadiri. It's just too obvious. Anyways, nice two posts there. Hope to see more soon! :D
  20. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Wild_Huntress: Yup! ;) She is pretty nasty all right!

    Sarah_K: Ha ha! You seem to mention that every time I bring her up! How could you not like such an adorable angel??? :p

    Siri_Z: THANX! :D ...uh yeah she's a bit spoiled their all right ;)

    Padawan_Kitara: *laughs* OH! NOBODY liked Kadiri!! I wonder why THAT is :D

    Jade_Skywalker: Thank you! Hmmm, interesting list of detuctions there Jade! Yes well, I do tend to throw wierd things in there to add to suspence, but hopefully it will all make sense by the end....hopefully ;)

    Here's another post! Thank you for all the responses!!

    _____________________________________________


    "What are you doing here?" Kadiri demanded. "I told you to leave."

    "We've been given permission from your uncle to ask you a few questions your highness." Qui-Gon said easily. Kadiri's eyes seemed to burn into him like hot coals.

    "I don't care, leave this moment. Mai!" The woman was, for the first time, at a loss.

    "Your highness," Mai said timidly. "Maybe if the Jedi would just ask you a few questions they would leave for good." Kadiri's jaw dropped and shock was plain on her face.

    "Mai--" Was all she managed before she grabbed a tea cup and threw it at Obi-Wan with an angry scream, the boy ducked and it shattered to pieces on the wall. "Get out!" She shrieked. "I will not be questioned like some common criminal, and I won't allow you in my room!" Qui-Gon didn't move.

    "Your highness I'm afraid I must insist on this."

    Kadiri whirled. "If you won't leave, then I will! I won't answer any questions." She stamped across the room and when she reached her beautifully beaded curtain she yanked one of the long beaded cords down sending the coral beads rolling across the floor. Qui-Gon sighed, Masao was right, this wasn't going to be easy.

    "We mean no harm to you Kadiri, we just think that if we could get some answers we could clear your name."

    "I don't care to clear my name, I am innocent, and the people will just have to accept that." Kadiri called from her room. Qui-Gon took a few steps toward the curtain.

    "Kadiri, I promise that if you answer a few questions I will not ask anymore of you, unless it is of the greatest importance."

    "I told you to leave," Kadiri said again, but she seemed to be swaying slightly. Obi-Wan was wisely keeping quiet and letting Qui-Gon coax the Emprincess into cooperation. The handmaiden Mai also stood silently and just watched the imposing Jedi Master speak to the stubborn girl on the other side of the beaded curtain.

    "I don't mean to accuse you of anything Kadiri," Qui-Gon waited, for the first time he didn't receive a prompt reply and after a long pause, Kadiri came to the curtain and parted it, her eyes locked with Qui-Gon's.

    "Four questions, and then you will leave my room." Qui-Gon nodded in consent. Kadiri walked stiffly to her tea table and sat down across from Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon sat next to her and Mai drifted back into the corner. "Ask your first question." Kadiri commanded tartly. Qui-Gon nodded.

    "Where were you at the time the murder took place Kadiri?" She bit her lip then answered.

    "I was--in my room asleep." Qui-Gon nodded. She had lied, but he said nothing.

    "In the morning were you the first one to find your father dead?"

    "No." She shook her head. "I was told when I woke up, by a servant, Kenji." Qui-Gon knew that some of it was a lie too, but what of it he could not tell.

    "Who has been watching over you, Kadiri?" He asked the question mostly to know who was close to the young woman.

    "Mai is my aid, but my councilor, Donitel, has been keeping close guard over me." Qui-Gon studied her, she was telling the truth, but when she had mentioned her councilor she had looked as if she feared his name, he would have to meet with this Donitel. "Last question." She said acidly.

    "How close were you to your father?" She took a long moment to answer this one. Kadiri finally looked at her lap.

    "Not close." She murmured. She suddenly looked up at him. "Leave
  21. Siri_Z Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 3
    Ok i've come to my conclusion. that lil spoiled Brat is a really annoyng Tart!!

    Ok had to get that out...

    Great twist in things Siri.. there are so many ppl... wahoo and even more interesing... Xanatos look a like?? That is most definetly a spin...

    TIll Later~
    Siri
  22. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    she grows on you...really

    The only thing that's going to grow on me is an incredible urge to take he over my knee!
  23. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Great post Siri! Kadiri... meh. Guess I could probably do without aquaintances like that.
  24. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Siri_Z: Thank you!! You STILL don't like her?? I wonder why ;) Yes, Xani look-a-like, hee hee. Poor Qui ;) :p

    Padawan_Kitara: OOooh! Someone should tell Kadiri to run and hide from Kitara *thinks about that* On second thought, I won't bother ;)

    Wild_Huntress: I certainly HOPE you don't have any aquaintences like that ;) :D

    _____________________________________________

    "Well, Padawan, what do you think of Donitel?"

    The boy was sitting at the end of his Master's sleep couch and he took a moment to answer. "I think he is genuinely concerned for Kadiri."

    "Yes, well that will remain to be seen. He certainly doesn't want to tell us anything about her in general and he doesn't like us asking him questions." Qui-Gon was avoiding the one thing he really didn't trust about Donitel, but Obi-Wan hadn't mentioned it. "Obi-Wan, did *you* notice the resemblance between Donitel and Xanatos?" Obi-Wan looked suddenly startled, but finally he nodded. "I think I'm letting it get the best of me, I'm finding it very difficult to talk to Donitel when he looks so much like my old apprentice." Obi-Wan nodded again, his eyes locked on Qui-Gon. Finally Qui-Gon shook his head and looked at Obi-Wan. "What about Kadiri? She seemed very afraid of her councilor when we spoke to her." Obi-Wan frowned.

    "Yes, though I'm not sure why. He seemed trustworthy for the most part." Qui-Gon nodded. Obi-Wan was right, off handedly he couldn't think of any reason why Donitel was especially different than any other overly protective councilor he'd ever met.

    "Maybe we should talk about him with Masao."

    Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon left their chambers and soon found the Emperor in his gardens. "Ah," Masao smiled at them. "I was supposing you would have more questions for me." He paused. "Did you...question me niece?"

    "Yes, and we got some very interesting answers." Qui-Gon said; Obi-Wan tactfully didn't mention the tea cup that had nearly smashed into his head.

    "Really?" Masao looked surprised.

    "We actually have come to ask about Donitel," Qui-Gon saw Masao's look to a slightly uncomfortable one.

    "What do you wish to know?" He asked, turning to his Azilis.

    "First of all, why does your niece seem to be so afraid of him?" Masao didn't answer for a moment as if weighing possible answers.

    "Donitel came to us shortly before the murder. You see, Ken-Jun and I were worried about Kadiri's safety. We'd been suffering some difficulties from the people's want for a democracy, and Ken-Jun was--" Masao cut himself off and waited for the right words to come to him. "Dealing in some other matters as well." He said finally. "Donitel came as a councilor and protector to Kadiri, at first Kadiri treated him like all the servants, but after a while she realized that she just couldn't do that with Donitel, he is...strict. Very strict. And though Ken-Jun and I weren't sure he was doing the best thing by her all the time, he protected her and has been protecting her. He stuck with us even after the murder and I have confidence in him." Masao said nothing as he clipped back several flower bushes and when Qui-Gon didn't speak either, Masao finally began again. "I think that Donitel is the only person that I've seen Kadiri actually show fear when she speaks of him."

    Qui-Gon looked at Masao for a long time. "You say he was very strict, how strict?"

    Masao didn't meet the master's gaze. "I've heard him yelling at her and she has come away in tears once or twice." Qui-Gon nodded, realizing that it was a tentative subject. On the one side Masao wanted to get rid of Donitel for his niece's sake, but on the other side Masao didn't want to loose the man who was protecting Kadiri.

    ***

    Qui-Gon woke to a rap on his door, he opened it to find Mai standing there.

    "Sir, I must tell you. Late last night, someone killed the Emperor's body guard."

    "What?"

    "They're blaming it on Kadiri, they say that a witness saw her kill him."

    "What has Masao said?" Qui-Gon began to walk down the hall with Mai.

    "He's not tryin
  25. Siri_Z Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 3
    BUSTED!!! :p

    um.... nope still dont like her.. :D

    Till Later~
    Siri
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.