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  1. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    The galaxy has gone to Hell, Obi-Wan Kenobi reflected as he stared out the veiwport of the Alderaanian Embassy on Capital City, Coruscant...

    Imperial Center, NOT Coruscant,he reminded himself, Never again Coruscant.

    The City Planet was in flames...Riots had abounded in the days since Chancellor Palpatine had declared himself Emperor of the Galaxy.

    The Republic of twenty-five thousand years was gone...In its place an illegal and fascist goverment...Freedom was now an idea..The reality of it destroyed by one mans greed..

    That greed had whiped out the Jedi Order in just days..A bomb destroyed the Temple..And the Masters..Master Yoda and I are all that remain.. ,This did not comfort Obi-Wan one bit.

    The troops will be here soon, as will Anakin..Vader, Kenobi ammended..,Come to claim his wife...and Son.

    The crys of two children came from the next room, as did the frantic urging of a droid unused to the needs of infants.

    "Master Luke...Mistress Shmi..Please try to calm yourselves..Your mother will be back soon," Threepio wailed.

    Obi-Wan almost smiled..That droid was a bigger baby than the Skywalker twins, Luke and Shmi.

    Obi-Wan entered the bedchamber, Threepio turned around startled. "Oh Master Kenobi, thank the Maker its you! No matter what I try I cant stop the children from crying!"

    Kenobi took one child in each arm..He allowed warm, comforting thoughts to flow from him, into the children..Their wailing stopped.

    "You just have to have the right touch, Threepio." Kenobi winked ironically and handed the children over to him. "Keep them quiet Threepio."

    "Master Kenobi, if I might ask where is Her Royal Highness?" Obi-Wan stopped cold at the droids question..Padme had not been the same since giving birth to the children..She had lost a lot of blood...Anakin had thought her dead...They all had...But she had pulled through...

    ..but Anakin he..., He banished the thought from his mind immediately.

    "Padme is not well..She had an uneasy birth..But she will pull through...", Kenobi hoped.

    Threepio was quite distressed about this. "Perhaps Master Anakin will be along soon, he always knows how to cheer Her Royal Highness up."

    Obi-Wan smiled ruefully. "If only he did Threepio, if only he did."

    Obi-Wan walked out of the room leaving the confused Protocol droid behind.

    ***

    Anakin...Why did you leave me..? Queen Padme Naberrie Amidala floated in her Bacta tank allowing it to soothe away her aches and pains..But it would not soothe the deeper pain within her soul..Nothing could but, Anakin...

    Bail Prestor Organa, Viceroy and First Chairman of Alderaan, Crown Prince of the continent of Antilles stared up at Padme sadly.

    This beautiful woman has suffered so much in the last two years, more than anyone ever should.. Bail had loved this woman with all his heart and soul..He had been engaged to her..But he lost her..To that retch Skywalker, he remembered..The day they had married had been the worst of his life..Until now.

    Palpatine has seen to that...

    General Jar-Jar Binks entered the room. "Heydey Ho, Prince Orgasmo".

    Bail tried not to laugh. Jar-Jar was a hardened warrior. One of the Gungan elite. He had been the Captain of Queen Amidalas Royal Guard for a half decade and he was a hero of the Clone Wars.

    They dont come tougher,Organa thought,But most are more articulate...

    "Hello Jar-Jar." Bail smiled over at him then saw how distraught Jar-Jar had become seeing Padme in the tank.

    "Shesa gettin any stronga?" Jar-Jar asked.

    "No Jar-Jar..She's stopped bleeding but..She is still very weak"..Bail stopped feeling weak...What would I do if she died? Bail wondered...She's not mine..I see the way she looks at Anakin..After all he's done, in the end she loves him...

    Jar-Jar saw his pain and he put his hand on his shoulder, "Itsa besa all righty...Wesa gotsa be moobin out dough..Intel from da Palace sayin datta Anni besa on hissa way..Ands..Hesa mad..

    Bail shuddered..The reports if theyre true say...Anakin has become little more than a machine...metal and m
  2. Knight Obi Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 1999
    star 3
    WOW eek.gif eek.gif eek.gif Who knew that Jar-Jar would become such a hero, huh? That was a wonderful way to end the prequel trilogy!! Is that all? Are you going to write more of this one or another perhaps??
  3. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Knight Obi Wan:
    WOW eek.gif eek.gif eek.gif Who knew that Jar-Jar would become such a hero, huh? That was a wonderful way to end the prequel trilogy!! Is that all? Are you going to write more of this one or another perhaps??

    You mean it was actually good?

    Thank you..I wasnt sure how it would received..Thank you..That was all I was going to write for this one..I might write another one..I dont know..

    Thank you for your responce..I'll think about it.

  4. Darth Dark Helmet Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 1999
    star 6
    I did like the way you did Jar Jar in this. It really isn't that much of a stretch to see him maturing into something close to that. Good job.
  5. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Darth Dark Helmet:
    I did like the way you did Jar Jar in this. It really isn't that much of a stretch to see him maturing into something close to that. Good job.


    Thank you very much! I dont write many fanfics..Because Prose Fiction isnt the format I'm used to writing to writing in so its VERY gratifying to get such good responces..Thank you very much.
  6. Itrakh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2000
    star 4
    Good work, JS77.

    Adding the element with Bail was a nice touch.

    And Threepio's decision to let the queen go was another one.

    You do well with the gungan...have you ever written a gungan before?
  7. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    Why yes, you might know me be my pen name, George Lucas.

    Thanks for the nice things you said, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    I personally think I did a good job on the characters but I didnt do so well on the action. Not my forte.
  8. JediStryker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 4
    Very well done! The emotion just blew me away. I can actually see this being the way it ends in the theater. Good job!
  9. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JediStryker:
    Very well done! The emotion just blew me away. I can actually see this being the way it ends in the theater. Good job!

    Thank you. You really think so? I tried but I wasnt sure how it would go over. Thank you very much. All of you.

  10. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Very good, JediSabre77! Its is awesome!
  11. JediRogue9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2000
    star 3
  12. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
  13. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    More commentary would be appreciated. Strengths, weaknesses,characters, anything helps.
  14. JediSabre77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2000
    star 4
    I revised the story today...It took me over twelve trys but I think I finally got it right..The original Stormtrooper battle scene sucked..It was sloppy and rushed..So I gave it more detail..Got into the characters more..I think it is greatly improved..But thats just my opinion..You tell me, I hope you enjoy it guys.
  15. Jean Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2003
    star 1
    Upping for the move
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