Saga LC2215, a vignette for the Writer with the Force challenge

Title: LC2215
Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
Characters/Pairings: LC2215
Era: (Saga,)
Summary: A droid talks about his job.

LC2215

I am LC2215 and one of the assistants of Madame Master Jocasta Nu. Or as she is known in my database; JNU.
All beings living in the Jeditemple have a code and hers is the shortest. Next comes YODA and others are known by 5 characters.
I work in the archives and in the mail office.
I am a droid and build like one of those protocol droids.
E-mail is my speciality and that?s because I am a Lingo Cleaner.

Why do Jedi need a Lingo Cleaner you ask?

Because we have in our crèches little initiates, all wanting to become great Jedi Knights.
They have access to the Galactic Wide Web and even the youngest ones do as soon as they can read and write.

They get on the Web and like all kids they soon have friends to chat.
And that?s where I come in the picture.
Or more where my interface interferes between the two computers.

No word about what the Jedi are teaching here goes out.
Some outsiders think the Jedi have a hockey religion and beliefs and some of the teachings are just too difficult to understand.

No street-words are coming in.
And I have to update my database almost every day with those.
What a language!
Master Nu pales when she sees some of them.
Almost as pale as her hair bun.

Do the Jedi Knights need me? you ask.
Yes of course.
Mainly in the mail-traffic between Jedi and Jedi and I have seen language. WOW.
Most of it comes from a certain Jedi Knight.

Was he always like that? you ask.

No, he was one of the most timid initiates, always using the right words.
He became one of the most likable padawans, having a great master to teach him.
Always correct in his language and no, I didn?t have to correct his E-mails.
He changed when that new boy entered the temple and became his padawan.

Nine, he was old and too old to train according to some of the masters of the council.
One of them was YODA.
By the way YODA is notorious for his language. Most of his e-mails to strangers will go through one of the Lingo Cleaners to set the words in the right order.

Ahem, that boy and his language.

I have never seen more Huttese curses, Rodian strong words, pirate talk and Tatooine street talk or TST for short coming from one terminal.
The padawan?s terminal to be precise when he was attending lessons in writing and had to upload those essays to that of his master.

And that was not the only thing.

Technical lessons were even worse. Besides a lot of tech-talk more of those curses flew over the grid.
I deleted most of that tech-talk because the Jedi Knight complained about it in his own language.

First that was quite civilised.
The first few weeks I mean.
He must have heard those street words because my work became more and more, deleting more and more. His mail was filled with TST.

And even now JNU is copying him after that Knight entered her archives with his padawan and made a mess of some of the archives.
Said Knight has been an archive disaster in his youth. Most likely got it from his own master.
Now with that boy he was even more a disaster.

JNU had to rearrange three rows of datachips and she was sending e-mails to her assistants after that like this ?no more ?beep? Kenobi without my ?beep? permission in the archives. Warn me if ?beep? Skywalker comes in sight.?
That was one of the shorter e-mails but I have corrected more of them.

Yes the work of me is never ended.
Especially with OKENO and ASKYW.

Incoming message, work to do.
Contact me if you want to know more about my job.
LC2215 out.

FIN

 

E-mails can be strange sometimes.

I get funny ones all the time.