Saga Learning to Love Again (Obi-Wan's POV, One-shot)

Title: Learning to Love Again
Summary: Obi-Wan's POV during and after the battle with Maul.
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin, Maul
Timeframe: End of Phantom Menace
Genre: One-shot, drama
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Star Wars belongs to my close bud (Ha!I wish!) George Lucas.
A/N: Well, I've had this sitting on my computer for about a year and decided to post it. Not exactly my best piece of work.

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Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in the main hangar bay, waiting for his transport. It had been three days since it had happened. Three days since his life had been spared. Three day since his master had died. And three days since his heart had been crushed.

He still remembered, with vivid accuracy, how it had all ended. His master?s chest had been pierced by the sith?s scarlet red blade, and they had both felt the bond dissolve into scarlet red pain. Qui-Gon?s pain had been Obi-Wan?s pain, his moan had been Obi-Wan?s moan, and his regret had been Obi-Wan?s regret.

Obi-Wan had been angry then, angrier than he had ever been before in his life. This [i]creature[/i] had [i]dared[/i] to kill his master. And that thought brought more anger. He shivered. He had turned to the dark side that day, mad with trying to kill the one who had killed his master. He had wanted revenge. And [i]that[/i] was the simple, frightening truth. It had been wrong. Yet Obi-Wan had done it anyway. He had killed. Out of anger. Out of lust for revenge. Using the dark side.

The sith had fed on the apprentice?s anger, grown stronger with each rage-filled beat of Obi-Wan's heart. And while rage had made Obi-Wan weaker, it had made Maul stronger. As Obi-Wan had been pushed over the edge of the energy pit, his anger had dissipated like mist in the morning. That was not what he had been trained for. It was not his destiny. But then the monster that was the dark side of the force had swallowed him again and the killing machine that once was Obi-Wan Kenobi had returned.

He had jumped from the pit, calling his master?s lightsaber to his hand with the dark power that was so terrifying yet exhilarating at the same time. In the sith?s eyes had been triumph as the light left them.

Obi-Wan had run to Qui-Gon?s side, the anger vanishing once more into the depths of his core. Qui-Gon had felt it, Obi-Wan knew, and the disappointment in the master?s eyes had hurt him more than anything ever had or ever would. It had pierced him like a vibroshiv and then the forgiveness in his master?s features had sealed the cut.

But Obi-Wan?s heart had been pierced once more when his master?s last words were not of him, but of the boy, the boy who had already been turned away by the council. The apprentice could not have refused Qui-Gon?s last request. Anakin would be trained. With a peaceful sigh, Qui-Gon Jinn died. The rage was forced back down, out of sight.

Anakin sat by Obi-Wan now, both lost in the past. Anakin's short legs were swinging above the gray floor. Obi-Wan impatiently wiped away a tear that had forced itself out from under his shut eyelid. He would not cry. He would not allow himself. Obi-Wan could be very stubborn when he so chose.

That tear was the first sign that his heart had not completely broken that fateful day. Obi-Wan had been afraid to open his heart to anyone, afraid that it would be broken. He finally had, and it had been mercilessly crushed. Yet that tear had let him realize something. Even a jedi could not stand alone. Though it would be a cold, hard, long, and winding path, Obi-Wan Kenobi would have to learn to love again.

 

That tear was the first sign that his heart had not completely broken that fateful day. Obi-Wan had been afraid to open his heart to anyone, afraid that it would be broken. He finally had, and it had been mercilessly crushed. Yet that tear had let him realize something. Even a jedi could not stand alone. Though it would be a cold, hard, long, and winding path, Obi-Wan Kenobi would have to learn to love again.

What an ending (begining of a story?)! So Obi-Wan Fell - and Anakin will Save him?