Let the Parody begin!

Discussion in 'Croatia' started by Cobranaconda, Nov 11, 2005.

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  1. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    Okay, now then, I've been wanting to write a parody for a while, so I'm finally getting around to it. I'll write a couple of scenes now, and then I'm going to do the whole Episode 3 Script. Is that okay? Good.

    My first is Vader's "Nooooooooooooo" scene.

    SCENE 148, INT. MEDICAL RESTORATION ROOM. VADER is lying on a flat surface, his mask being lowered onto his face. Enter PALPATINE, cackling. The Surface begins to hum and adjust so that VADER is upright. The only sound is of VADER's breathing. PALPATINE walks in front of VADER.

    VADER: Where is Padme?
    PALPATINE: It sems that in your anger you killed her, Lord Vader.
    VADER:

    "Oh why must fate exact such reparation?
    She wert taken from me, by this my own hand!
    Had I not been so blinded by rage at her treachery
    I would not have ended up burning on the sand.

    Alas then, my love is dead
    and my life worth living no more
    Yet still hope exists from whence she died
    for Obi-Wan still liveth, and will do until I knock down his door!"

    PALPATINE: A most apt and heartbreaking poem, Lord Vader. I must ask though, when did you become a lyricist?

    VADER: When I saw the spray of red flame and flash of blue light that left me stranded in this state.

    PALPATINE: I do hope that you will not talk in rhymes for the remainder of your existence Lord Vader, suffice to say it would anger me greatly.

    VADER: I'm afraid that I shall always lie broken on that sand. And should I cry or ever die I will go by my own hand.

    PALPATINE takes of his hood and begins ripping out the remains of his hair.

    VADER (Continuing): ...lest I writhe in tepid brine, screaming in agony, torture thine pure soul with chaos which breeds, leading towards Insanity...

    PALPATINE turns to face the camera, eyes wild, covering his ears and pulling his hair, opening his mouth...

    PALPATINE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


    Edit: My second. You must know what it'll be by now :p

    195 EXT. MUSTAFAR-LANDING PLATFORM-DAY

    The sleek NABOO SKIFF lands on the Mustafar landing platform near Anakin's YELLOW STARFIGHTER. ANAKIN runs up to the SKIFF as the ramp lowers. PADME runs to him.

    ANAKIN: Padme, I saw your ship . . .

    They embrace.

    PADME: Oh, Anakin!

    PADME proceeds to have a mini-orgasm from excitement.

    ANAKIN: It's all right, you're safe now, you're with me. There is no safer place. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be dead?

    PADME: I was so heartbrokenly worried about you. Obi-Wan showed me terrible things.

    ANAKIN: What things?

    PADME: He showed me a hologram, and said that you have turned to the disco side . . . you killed younglings!

    ANAKIN: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.

    PADME: He cares about us. And he has proof!

    ANAKIN: Us??!

    PADME: He knows . . . He wants to help you.

    ANAKIN: Is Obi-Wan going to protect you? He can't ... he can't help you. He's not strong enough. Only I am!

    PADME: Would you see that? those flashing eyes, the arrogance and anger. You know something Ani? You are utterly sexy when you're angry!

    ANAKIN: I know.

    ANAKIN runs a hand through his hair and strikes a pose, running his hand up his torso.

    ANAKIN: Look at my sexy body. I'm dead sexy.

    PADME has another mini-orgasm.

    PADME: I know Anakin, all I want is your sexy body. I want to eat it!

    ANAKIN: My sexy body won't save you, Padme. Only my new sexiness can do that. You see... I know Saturday Night Fever.

    ANAKIN starts dancing to some 70's Disco Music. PADME looks horrfied.

    PADME: No! What did this cost? You are a good person. Don't fall to the Disco side!

    ANAKIN: I won't lose you the way I lost my mother! I've become more sexy than any Dancer has ever dreamed of and I've done it for you. To protect you. I want your sexy body to brush upon my sexy body, and together, our sexy bodies will be amazing together.

    PADME: Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.

    ANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run aw
  2. Pelly-Welly Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2004
    star 6
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] Brilliance!

    (Though the heart-scene was kinda gross. I was having lunch!)
  3. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    It's a running joke around here. I posted it a while back and since then everyone says it when Ana (the local A/P defender) is around. So I decided to add it into my parody.

    The legend that is: "Anakin, you're eating my heart!"
  4. Tyranus230 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2005
    star 7
  5. DarthUncle Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 2005
    star 5
    Well, it is quite brilliant :) And since I am here waiting for Azure to arrive in Eindhoven, I can take the odd heart being craved for and devoured :p
  6. Jedi_Orion Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 2
    Anakin, you're eating my heart.

    Why am i not surprised! [face_laugh]


    Good work.=D= Keep it coming Cobra! :D
  7. Amon_Amarth Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    PADME: I know Anakin, all I want is your sexy body. I want to eat it!

    ANAKIN: My sexy body won't save you, Padme. Only my new sexiness can do that. You see... I know Saturday Night Fever.



    ROTFLMAO [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Teh parody is brilliant! Keep writing more, Cobra, at least til Ana returns. ;)
  8. Lord_of_all_Noldor Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2005
    star 3
    [face_laugh] =D= Very amuzing, Cobranaconda! [face_laugh]
  9. Deciple_of_Malak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2005
    star 4
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    This is too hilarious! [face_laugh]

    ANAKIN: I'm sexier that you! [face_laugh]

    Not to mention A&P conversation. Ha, I haven't laught this hard in a long time. :D Good job, Cobra.
  10. Amon_Amarth Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    ANAKIN: I'm sexier that you!

    Yeah, that looks like the best quote in the history of posting. :p
  11. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    *Bows*

    If I ever get rid of this cold I'll write some more.
  12. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    More: and guess what.

    MORE A/P Pisstakes!

    73 INT. CORUSCANT-PADME'S APARTMENT-TWILIGHT

    PADME stands in the balcony brushing her hair. ANAKIN hides behind the sofa, watching her lovingly, but being a bit of a voyeur nonetheless. ANAKIN crouches out of sight for a second and then resurfaces, sweating but grinning with pleasure. He ruffles his hair back into place, wipes some seat off his brow and then stands up from behind the sofa, startling PADME. He begins to speak slowly, although seeming a tad FanBoyish. PADME then has a mini-orgasm through through her shock.

    ANAKIN: ...every second I was thinking of you. Dancing in the endless, nameless Outer Rim settlements became a torture... the routines were easy, but the longing became unbearable, and my hand became my only source of comfort... I've never been so happy as I am at this moment.

    PADME (Seeing the bulge down "there" and his sweat, she puts two and two together and hastily changes the topic): Annie, I want to have our baby back home on Naboo. We could go to the lake country where no one would know . . . where we would be safe. I could go early-and fix up the baby's room. I know the perfect spot, right by the gardens.

    PADME has a mini-orgasm thinking about this.

    ANAKIN: You are so beautiful! I want your sexy body!

    PADME giggles and has a mini-orgasm.

    PADME: It's only because I'm so in love with your sexy body.

    ANAKIN: No, it's because I'm so in love with yours.

    PADME giggles and has a mini-orgasm.

    PADME: So your love for my love of your sexy body has blinded you?

    ANAKIN: Well, that's not exactly what I meant . . .

    PADME: But it's probably true!

    They laugh.

    ANAKIN: I haven't laughed in so long... just fantasised...

    PADME: Me too...

    74 INT. PADME'S APARTMENT-BEDROOM-NIGHT-DREAM

    The view is strangely distorted and disorienting. PADME is lying on her bed in her bedroom. She is writhing and screaming. ANAKIN is watching her strangely, wondering what she's on.

    PADME: Anakin, help me! Help, Anakin! Anakin, I love you. I love you.

    ANAKIN walks over to her. PADME has a mini-orgasm.

    ANAKIN: What's wrong?

    PADME has a mini-orgasm about his concern.

    PADME: I need your sexy body.

    ANAKIN: o_O

    PADME has a mini-orgasm about his scepticism.

    PADME: Please!

    ANAKIN: Oh fine.

    ANAKIN leans over her and kisses her but she grabs him and drags her down on top of him. As he struggles to get away from his Nymphomaniac wife, she hits him on the head with a frying pan (Although why there is a frying pan in the bedroom not even the screenplay writer knows. It is a dream, after all). ANAKIN grabs the frying pan from her and throws it across the room. However, it turns midflight (Again, no idea how), and it hits PADME on the head with a clunk. She screams and dies.

    75 INT. CORUSCANT-PADME'S APARTMENT-BEDROOM-NIGHT

    ANAKIN awakens in a panic. He is covered in sweat and another bodily fluid best not described. He looks over in the bed and sees PADME sound asleep next to him. ANAKIN gets out from under the sheets and sits on the side of the bed. He is breathing heavily. He puts his head in his hands and weeps. His wet dreams were getting weirder... He regains his composure and leaves the room down a set of stairs. PADME awakens, realizes Anakin is gone.

    PADME: Anakin??

    She gets out of bed and goes downstairs to look for him.

    76 EXT. CORUSCANT-PADME'S APARTMENT-VERANDA-NIGHT

    ANAKIN walks down a flight of stairs onto a large veranda. The vast city planet of Coruscant, smoldering from the battle, is spread out before him. He is distraught.
    PADME descends the stairs and joins ANAKIN on the veranda. She takes his hand. He doesn't look at her.

    PADME: What's bothering you?

    ANAKIN: Nothing . . .

    ANAKIN touches PADME'S neck, that Anakin kissed when he was a small boy. In his dreams, anyway.

    ANAKIN: (continuing) I remember when I did this to you.

    PADME: Huh? Anakin, how long is it going to take for us to be honest with eac
  13. Pelly-Welly Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2004
    star 6
    [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    The mini orgasms are hilarious!
  14. DarthUncle Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 2005
    star 5
    I almost thought they were a bit overused. But then I thought back of the movie :) It's just the same :p
  15. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
  16. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Wow, it is really worthwhile following DU's steps! You are brilliant, Cobranaconda. That is what I needed tonight. A jolly good laugh! Well done, mate!
  17. Amon_Amarth Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] ROTFLMAO [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    Sick and hilarious as always. Brilliant job, Cobra! =D= [face_laugh]
  18. Darthana Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2005
    star 4
    ANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Dancing Association. I am more sexy than the lead role. I can throw him down some stairs, and together you and I can wow the Galaxy with our sexiness. Make dances the way we want them to be.

    Hahahaha! That is very funny! [face_laugh] That scene is so tragic, that is needs somehting hilarious as this every once in a while. Nice work, Cobranaconda. :) Although the other one wasn't anything special. I didn't understand all those constant mini-orgasms. o_O Oh, wel.
  19. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    Did you even see RotS?

    Padme was having a mini-orgasm every bloody scene!

    "Oh" this and "Oh" that. I was surprised she wasn't all orgasmed out :p
  20. Darthana Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2005
    star 4
    o_O It wasn't like that at all. And of course, I've seen ROTS.
  21. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    Yes it was. Everyone can remember it. Except you. Selective Memory :p
  22. Amon_Amarth Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 6
    Hmm. Now seriously, I would have to agree with Darthana on this one. It is a funny joke, but there weren't much overrated scenes.
    Except the hairbrush scene, but that it so stupid that it doesn't even counts. :p
  23. Cobranaconda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 7
    I didn't say overrated. I said there wasn't a scene with Padme that didn't have a mini-orgasm :p
  24. DarthReven Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2005
    Not bad, not bad. B+ for sure
  25. Lord_of_all_Noldor Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2005
    star 3
    Hehehe, funny, though the first one is much more funny
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