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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

JCC let's brainstorm

Discussion in 'Community' started by Zapdos, May 20, 2017.

  1. Zapdos

    Zapdos Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2013
    i'm gonna be an aunt (woo). i've always wanted to be an aunt. the thought of ruining someone elses child and then get to hand it back to the parents to deal with has always resonated well with me. i don't even like children. not in general, and not for myself, but there's something about being an aunt, i think.

    soo, i've thought a lot about this. for many years. the plan was always to get to be the cool aunt, that they'll turn to when they're 13 and everything is embarrassing and they want to talk about periods, crushes and body parts suddenly changing.

    but my plan starts there, and i haven't really thought about how i get to that point. so i guess i have to start the conditioning early, right? like, not when they're all new and useless and nothing i do leaves animpression, but when they start making memories and actually understand what's happening around them. when's that? and how do i begin?

    what does a cool aunt do, during the childhood years? always have gum? host fun sleepovers with a later set bed time? take them to movies they're too young to see? one thing i've been working on for several years already is living stupid so that i have stories to tell about what cool auntie did in her twenties. i can up that game too, though.
     
  2. Harpua

    Harpua Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Memory retention begins around four or five, so you've got lots of time to come up with your own unique way of aunting.
     
  3. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SFTC VII + Deadpool BOFF star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000


    Yes!
     
  4. soitscometothis

    soitscometothis Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2003
    Tattoos.

    Make it happen.
     
  5. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Read to them, take them to the park and play. Lots of playing!!!
     
    Diggy likes this.
  6. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    Talk to them like a human, not like a little kid. That's what I do with my niece. Sometimes I even have to remind myself that she is a kid, so what I'm saying doesn't go completely over her head.
     
    Sarge likes this.
  7. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2002
    Load your niece or nephew up with sugar and/or caffeine and then leave your brother and his partner to deal with the aftermath.
     
    Kiki-Gonn likes this.
  8. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    I have always really enjoyed my nephew, even when he was new and useless. Unless you really can't stand babies and small kids, you might want to start a relationship as early as possible. Babies are basically relationship-forming machines. If you spend any decent amount of time at all around them, they will think you are wonderful. Specific baby memories fade fast, but kids won't forget the general fact that they think you are awesome. The earlier you imprint upon your niece or nephew with your awesomeness, the more intensely they'll like you, and the longer that feeling will last.

    Things to do with really small babies: Carry them around and sniff their heads. Babies have the best-smelling heads. Blow in their face and make them blink at you like puzzled old men. Put your finger in their hand and let them squeeze it. (It's a reflex, but it's endearing.) If you hate doing this stuff, then don't do it, but if it's not 100% awful, consider it like time spent training a Tamagotchi. This little creature is yours to corrupt. You just have to put in the groundwork for building unwavering loyalty.

    Things to do with bigger babies: As soon as babies can smile and laugh, you can actually play with them. The stupidest **** makes babies laugh. Jingling keys, kissing their toes, peek-a-boo, taking turns wearing a colander on your heads. Babies this age can also react to media, so if you have a thing for colorful YouTube videos with catchy songs, sit the baby on your lap and watch them together. Teach them short phrases that make you laugh. As a teenager, I taught my baby sister to say "Ni!" A friend of mine taught her baby son to shout "Doom!"

    Things to do with toddlers: I taught my nephew lots of slightly rude campfire songs at this age, like "Miss Lucy Had A Steamboat." They will like any song that has hand gestures. I don't know what hand gestures go with "This Corrosion" or "Bela Legosi Is Dead," but if you make some up, the child will sing and act the songs out. Much more entertaining than hearing "I'm A Little Teapot" 9000 times in a row. If you don't mind messy things, kids this age like to grab and squash things. Consider stripping the kid down, putting them in the bathtub, and covering them with shaving cream. Bonus points for using ladies' shaving cream that has fruit scents and pastel colors. Spend 15 minutes doing this one time a month for 2 years, and you have laid the foundation for some serious cool aunt worship.

    Things to do with school-age children: These kids are old enough to actually converse with you, so playing with them is easier. Introduce them to slightly age-inappropriate reading material, like "The Hobbit" and Hans Christian Andersen's original version of "The Little Mermaid." Bonus points if you explain the sad ending of "The Little Mermaid" is the result of an unrequited homosexual crush. Kids this age can listen to your favorite music with you and sing and dance to it. They don't even need hand gestures. Older school-age kids are often excellent company, and can go on road trips to interesting places. (You will stay saner if you only take one child at a time, though.)

    Spend 13 years doing these things, and your niece or nephew will for sure want you to take them to their first concert, and beg to come over to your house to play video games all night. Remember, parents exhaust themselves all day, every day, meeting their children's basic survival and educational needs. They often have no time or energy for fun things. That is what you, the Cool Aunt, are good for.

    Tl;dr: Do fun things with the kid that the parents can't/won't do, then they will be yours forever.
     
  9. hudzu

    hudzu Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    a good place to start is with a shot of whiskey mixed into the milk bottle
     
  10. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 7 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    machete order
     
    CT-867-5309, Lord Vivec and Sarge like this.
  11. starfish

    starfish Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Give the kid lots of ice cream, or a bicycle, maybe wait a couple years for the bike.

    I'll also echo the read to them advice, get him/her hooked on the harry potter books.
     
  12. Jabba-wocky

    Jabba-wocky Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    May 4, 2003
    Surround yourself with a mystic and special aura by entering their room late in the night to wake them with cryptic promises of future greatness.
     
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  13. darth_gersh

    darth_gersh Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2005
    Vegetables. Kids love them.
     
  14. CT-867-5309

    CT-867-5309 Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Jan 5, 2011
    I don't care for the existence of babies, either, and this happened naturally as a result of my disinterest in them, so it could happen for you, too.

    This happened with all four of my nieces:

    In their first six months or so, Idk, when they cried like babies and needed to be held and all that crap, I never held them. I never really touched them, or went very near them. I was in the same room with them often enough, they could see me and get used to my existence, but I never held them.

    One day, my oldest niece was crying and no one could get her to stop, they all got frustrated, so finally I tried holding her. She hushed up instantly. Just instant quiet, and went to sleep. From that point on, I was the emergency baby quieter. I wouldn't hold them very often, but when I did, instant quiet. Sobering.

    Naturally, I repeated the same thing with my other three nieces, and it worked with them, too.

    This won't do much for you, other than give you an endearing story to tell them, but it literally demands zero effort for at least a few months, so you get something for nothing.
     
  15. Alpha-Red

    Alpha-Red Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2004
    You may not be interested in babies, but babies are interested in you.
     
  16. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 7 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    Chloroform is cheating
     
  17. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    I'd say offer them a safe space in you're own home that they know is theirs. Just something that they know is there and is available to them whenever they want. It's not a hideaway, they're not entitled to it, and it doesn't allow them to get away with things that their parents wouldn't allow. But it's a retreat. A home away from home if you want to be all cliché about it. And one that they don't necessarily feel obligated to you either when they are there.

    I don't know, I'm the same way as you about not really wanting my own kids but wanting to play a role in the lives of my siblings' kids. Granted, neither of my siblings are at that point of having kids just yet, but I do think about how I would play that role for them. And what I just described is something I often come up with, and I truly feel would go a long way in establishing that kind of bond.
     
  18. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    I have this friend who keeps going on about her niece on Facebook. It's kinda sad, really. Flaunting other people's kids.
     
    Diggy likes this.
  19. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    If it's done in place of having one's own kids, maybe it's a little sad, for a possible variety of reasons.

    But if it's intentional, I say it's all good. I wouldn't see it as flaunting. It's a different kind of relationship.
     
  20. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Novel stimuli can sometimes distract a baby from crying. You can get a similar effect by holding them at a 45 degree angle from your chest. This gives them a novel viewpoint on the world, since they usually see everything from the vertical (held against the chest) or horizontal (lying down). May be something helpful to know.
     
  21. Diggy

    Diggy Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Just remember they're a person, and their name is <insert name>.
     
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  22. TiniTinyTony

    TiniTinyTony JCC Super Bowl Pick 'Em Winner star 7 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Mar 9, 2003
    As an uncle, my sister's four children (1, 3, 5, & 7 years old) pretty much entertain themselves which is nice when you want to visit with the adults during family get-togethers. My niece is already a 16 year old in a 3 year old's body with full sass at all times. She pretty much doesn't want anything to do with me. It takes her a good 2-3 hour to warm up to be and by that time I'm usually leaving.

    Anyway, when spending time with them, I treat them as I would want to be treated and if a teaching moment arises I try to talk with them instead of at them. My father was quick to anger and I try not to be that way.

    I find that they will be more "fun" to be around as they grow older, but in the meantime if they want my attention I'll give it to them. Just being there and giving them time and attention when they seek it means more than any gift you could buy or present you could spoil them with (at least now that they're younger). :)

    Right now the boys are very much into Minecraft which is not my wheelhouse. I'll slowly attempt to introduce Star Wars in and we'll see if some of that sticks. Just like with friends, I hope to find a commonality that we can share/bond over.
     
  23. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Don't give it too much thought. When they grow up they're going to give **** all about you
     
  24. FamousAmos

    FamousAmos VIP star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Don't drop them on their head.
     
    harpua, Anakin.Skywalker and tom like this.
  25. Diggy

    Diggy Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    A perfect post, accompanied by your icon.