CT Let's have some fun with "Star Wars, Twisted Logic"

...and the Empire miscalculated proton torpedoes being over 2 meters wide.

What that angry Ewok say to Chewie after he swipes his paw away from the control in the AT-ST?

 

**** you, *******!

What happened to all the other bounty hunters Vader sent after the Falcon?

 

George Lucas expects us to read the bounty hunter wars trilogy to find out.

Why didn't Luke and Han try to take out the four stormtroopers silently as they were watching the fight with Kenobi and Darth Vader? Given they were behind them and the storm troopers were distracted, they could have snuck up on the troopers and had all 4 of them dead/unconscious before Darth Vader even slayed Kenobi.

 

Because they had a wager on the fight.

What's a nerf-herder?

 

What did Nien Nunb holler out when the Falcon's deflector dish got knocked off?

 

When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...


Why did Maul not attempt to defend himself when Obi-wan sliced him in half?

 

He was too beside himself. (...oh, that was all sorts of cheesy)

What does the Emperor do with his spare time all day sitting up in the spire on the Death Star?

 

He plays Dejarik with his parents, those two guys in the tower with him. He also enjoys long bathroom breaks with a Sports Holo Edition.

Is there a Middle Ground for the Force? There's a light side and a dark side... a pleasantly shady side, mayhaps?

 

Now that you mention it, I think there is, known as the grey side with at least 50 shades of it or so.

Why is the Millennium Falcon called what it is?

 

Because the Maltese Falcon was already taken.

Did Leia keep the medal bikini leaving Tatooine?

 

Yes.





So just what does Darth Vader eat or drink, if he does so?

 

Liquefied Mynock!!!


What does Chewbacca keep in his bandolier?

 

Keys, lipstick, Kleenex, tampons, etc.


What is the exact number of Bothans who died to bring us this information?

 

Seven. They were Doc, Dopey, Bashful, Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy and Happy.

What is the strangest piece of equipment installed on the Millennium Falcon?

 

Funky thick shag-carpet sofa from the Falcon's Lando days

What did Bossk really say to Admiral Piett?

 

"Excuse me, Admiral, where's the bathroom? That vindaloo last night was a bad idea."

What was Luke planning on using those power converters for?

 

He was going to use them as part of a torture device. He was going to electrify whomp rats, before he bulls eyed them.


Just why would Cloud City have a torture chair?

 

Because it's a funky torture chair installed during Cloud City's Lando days.

Is it true that we never saw the cargo compartment of the Falcon in RotJ because Lando reinstalled the funky shag-carpet sofa and redecorated in a way that would change the film's rating?

 

Sure, the rating would be "S. O." for Smooth Operator.

Why is it that when R2-D2 falls in the water on Dagobah that Luke points him in a certain direction?

 

Because he's using his super spy decoder ring combo compass that he got from a box of Wampa Flakes cereal.


At the end of ROTJ, durring the celebration scene, why is Wedge carrying his helmet?

 

Because he didn't want the Ewoks to use it as a drum like they did with the Stormtrooper helmets.

Why do the Jawa's act all giddy when they see Luke at the Lars Estate? (The scene were R2 and C-3PO are sold)

 

Because he's dreamy. All the girls want him and all the Jawas want to be him.

How would Vader explain to the Emperor if Obi-Wan got the higher ground on him again during the DS duel?

 

I dont think he would have lived to tell the Emperor. But on a brighter note the mass of stormtroopers would have killed and overtaken the rebels. And the Emperor would have won the STAR WARS!!

Who once owned the crystal Luke used to build his green lightsaber?

 

HERE IS THE KNOWLEDGE YOU SEEK!!!!!!!!!!

What would Vader do if he ventured down to Tatooine to personally lead the search for the droids and ran across ol' Watto?

 

Took him up on his offer from earlier and handled those deadbeats that owed him alot of money.


Did Lando start wearing his cape after he seen how sharp Vader looked in his ?