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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Let's make some alternate universe scenes!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by TheLastApocalypse, Feb 23, 1999.

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  1. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    I have a sneaking suspicion who spiked the punch...

    It's either Amidala or a certain security captain we know...
     
  2. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    A tid-bit of humor:

    "These are the days when I wish I walked around with a sword strapped to my back, like the good old days."
    "Shut the hell up."
    "You shut up! And watch your language! How would you like it if something like that popped out of your mouth during a senate meeting? Never get into habits like those!"
    Amidala, Saché, and Yané joined in chorus with a flat "Shut the hell up."

    With that, they all relaxed. Being tense while tied ten feet above the floor tied to a rafter was extremely painful.
     
  3. Amidolee

    Amidolee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2000
    "You are worse than Obi-Wan," Garen scolded as he tried to keep pace with Bant, who was practically flying down the halls, looking for the perfect perch for Yoda's underwear. The palace halls were buzzing with guests and servants bustling about. No one noticed the two Jedi who were up to mischief.

    "Yousa Jedi!" a warbled voice hollered. "Mesa loves yous!"

    Bant kept moving, but she was no match for Jar Jar Binks. The Gungan raced towards them, crashing into six servants on the way. "Mesa sorry, mesa sorry," Jar Jar mumbled as he skidded in front of the Calamarian.

    "Get out of my way!" Bant stepped aside.

    Garen stared at the creature as he tried to dodge the flying limbs. "Are you brainless? You just knocked over the wedding cake!"

    "I spek!" Jar Jar protested. He stopped and rubbed his forehead. "Tisa sounds bery famiyar."

    Garen pushed Bant forward and they jumped onto the balcony, the Gungan behide them. "Wheresa wesa going?"

    "Jump," Garen said, estimating the drop three stories below. He jumped and BAnt was behind him.

    They left the Gungan howling behind them. "What was that?" Garen asked as he landed softly.

    "A Gungan. One of the locals," Bant informed him, rolling an eye. "I believe that must be the infamous Jar Binks, or something, that Obi-Wan can't stand."

    Garen looked around the balcony they had landed on. He cocked his head and listened to the voices inside the room. "Someone's squabbling," he said.

    Bant nodded and listened.

    "My mouth is still bleeding!"
    "Shut up! It's your fault this happened!"
    "It is not!"
    "Is too! Be quiet! Sache, can you reach my pocket. I think I have a blaster there. If we just shot her, we'll all be free."
    "And what of the wedding? They might notice Ami's absence."
    "I'll marry him!"
    "Nice try Eirtae! Sabe could pull it off better."
    "That's right! I could!"


    Garen looked at Bant. "Must be Her Highness."

    Bant nodded, a twinkle in her silver eyes. "Ssh." She stepped into the shadow of the curtain pulled across the window, finding the opening.

    "Bant..." Garen warned.

    With a wild cry, Bant jumped into the room. There were five distinctive shrieks. Garen rolled his eyes and followed.
     
  4. Amidolee

    Amidolee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2000
    Amidala shrieked and collapsed under a pile of handmaidens. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear her handmaidens hysterrical shrieks and the battle cry of their attacker.

    "Knock it off, Bant," a male voice scolded. "It's her Royal Highness for Force's sake!"

    "Obi-Wan won't mind," a female voice retorted with glee. The hum of her lightsaber switched off.

    "He just might."

    "No, he won't. Besides, he's tied up with the Council right now."

    "You'll be tied up with the Council if you don't knock it off!" the male shot back.

    "Not me. I'm a pefect angel."

    "Whatever. Let's set them loose."

    There was the hiss and hum of a lightsaber. Then the four handmaidens rolled of Amidala in a heap. Amidala stood up to see a Calamarian female in Jedi robes and another being arguing with each other. She stared at them and cleared her throat. They turned to her in surprise.

    "Who are you?" Amidala demanded.

    The wrinkled face being bowed. "I am Jedi Knight Garen Muln, and this is Bant. Jedi Kenobi's friends."

    "That explains everything," Sabe snorted as she distangled herself.

    The Calamarian grinned. "Yup, it does!"

    Yane suddenly let out a cry. "Where's the Jedi Council at?"

    "The reception room, of course," Rabe said, giving her a queer look. "Why?"

    "Uh, no," Yane gasped. "I, um, kinda made a special batch of my punch. You know, the stuff that we had last New Year's?"

    "What did you do?" Amidala gasped, turning away from the Jedi.

    "I set it in the bowel for the reception room," Yane choked out.

    Bant stepped forward. "You mean you the Council is drinking spiked punch?"

    Yane nodded. "Not just spiked. It really gets you going. Laughing, giddy, I use it when I'm really in the slumps."

    Garen was giving the five women a horrified look. "Master Yoda can take absolutly no alcohol!"

    Amidala looked at the Jedi again. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

    "With the Council."

    Amidala shot Yane a stern look before ripping off most of her dress. The handmaidens and Jedi raced off to the reception room. As they neared, they could hear loud voices and laughter.
     
  5. Amidolee

    Amidolee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2000
    Amidala flung open the door and dashed into the reception room, two Jedi and five handmaidens behind her. She skidded to a stop as the twelve members of the Jedi Council turned towards her. Obi-Wan was in the midst of the slightly chaotic scene, looking very much as if he wanted to die.

    A strange green creature tugged on Amidala's skirt. "Mine, mine!" it shouted, laughing and cackling as his claws dug into the already torn fabric.

    Amidala bent down and grabbed her squirt out of the troll's hand. "No, mine!"

    "Master Yoda! Let go of Her Majesty's skirt!" Garen cried in disbelief. "It is not yours."

    "Big Jedi, are you?" Yoda cackled at him. "Haha!" He snatched up Garen's lightsaber.

    "Hey!" Garen lunged at him.

    Yane was sobbing. "This is my fault! All my fault!"

    "Shut up, Yane," Eirtae scoffed. "Really! Just shut up!"

    Obi-Wan distangled himself from the ring the Jedi Masters had formed. They were doing the Royal ring, or something of the sort, and Adi and Depa were in the middle, skrewing up the whole dance. The Jedi had no idea what had happened, but when Amidala came racing in and then was attacked by Yoda, he knew he had to stop this.

    "Ami!" he called, rushing over to her. He glanced over at Bant. "What did you do?"

    "Nothing!" Bant raised her hands in a gesture of innocence, completely forgetting about Yoda's underwear in her hand. "Oh, no."

    Obi-Wan stared at her. And so did Yoda.

    "Mine, mine!" Yoda squawked, dashing over towards the Knight.

    Amidala stared at the two Jedi. "What on Naboo-"

    Yoda summoned his Force powers and lept onto Bant. "Mine, mine!" he shrieked. He grabbed his drawers and jumped off, whacking Bant with his stick.

    Only a few Council members even noticed. Depa was giggling shrilly and had the attention as she leapt onto the long table.

    "Obi-Wan, what is going on?" Amidala whispered.

    "I have no idea," Obi-Wan shook his head. "They're intoxicated, I believe,"

    "Yane spiked the punch," Sabe offered, watching the scene with open delight. "Why can't you loosen up like this, Obi-Wan?"

    "Hey, remember the cee 6 you gave me?" the Jedi retorted.

    "It wasn't me! I believe that was Yane again."

    Yoda was now wearing his boxers on the outside of his tunic and trying to organize the Council. No one could take him seriously, though.

    Amidala, the handmaidens, and three sober Jedi watched in despair as Adi Gallia and Mace Windu began showing off their levitation skills, leaping and spinning over each other.

    Amidala sighed. "Let's all say it."

    "We have a bad feeling about this."
     
  6. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
  7. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!" Amidala joked with a laugh.
    Obi-Wan stared at her as she poured herself a glass of punch, then gulped it down in a typical fashion.
    Amidala grinned.
    Yané just stared, then took a cup.
    The Jedi soon followed, then the rest of the handmaidens, except Sabé. She shook her head and picked up the punch bowl. Slowly, she tipped it up and let the remaining punch flow into her mouth. Not heeding the red streams of punch down her silk robe, she let herself out into the garden, whose paths were filled with wedding guests and Naboo alike.
     
  8. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    It's a bachelor party!
     
  9. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    It's a bachelor party!
     
  10. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    Amidala was sailing through the rafters, courtesy of Master Yoda, who was dangling upsidown courtesy of Master Gallia, who was dancing with Sabé on top of a table. Somebody has spilled a bottle of oil in one corner, and half the Masters were sliding around whooping loudly. Yané was doing back hand-springs, and Saché was crawling around beneath the table, smooshing the paper cups that littered the floor with her right fist, while shouting 'Maika!'

    Three loud shouts of 'Poiya!' rang out from various points around the room, including the rafters.

    Suddenly, as if on the cue of a large crash from a third corner, a large contingent of well-dressed, unfortunately very sober government officials trooped in.
    Unfortunately at this time, Adi Gallia managed to slip on a puddle of punch, Amidala whizzed by the face of a certain Chancellor, and Mundi, drunkest of all, came to a skidding halt in front of Palpatine and planted a smacking kiss on the face of the Chancellor's attendant' very pretty face.
     
  11. Amidolee

    Amidolee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2000
    Neato!!!!

    This is good! Does any1 else remember the darker days of this thread when every1 was trying to kill each other? Now they're all drunk!
     
  12. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Obi-Wan has not been drinking the punch so...what is he doing? Just standing there watching? Or does he creep away somewhere, maybe dragging Amidala with him?
     
  13. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    I dunno. I think he's trailing Sabé...
     
  14. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    Sabé hiccuped loudly, attracting even more stares.
    "What you lookin' at, fattie?" She asked of an older lady, who promptly slapped her, sending her pitching backward.
    The lady belonging to the long robe which she happened to land on also pitched backwards on top of her, squishing the daylights out of her.
    "Oh!" the lady gasped, "I'm so terribly sorry!"
    "Naw, naw, it's my fault. Shouldna had that junk anyways, now I'm staggrin around tryin ta kill people." Sabé's slurred speech wavered as the lady rolled neatly out of her lap. The two sat beside each other in silence a few seconds, then both burst out laughing.
    Sabé wiped her watering eyes. "Yané put some crap in that punch bowl I swear. I wish I wasn't so impulsive!"
    The other lady sat back on her elbows in the dirt, giggling uncontrollably.
    "O, is that what that stuff was!" she exclaimed. "I knew I smelled something funky when I wus drinkin that stuff!"
    Sabé's laughter came out in a pitiful fit. It was a happy, hazy laugh that only she could manage, drunk as she was. "My name's Sabi. Or Sabé or something with a 'Sa' in it." She said good-naturedly. "I wish I hadna done that! O well there wasn't mush left in the bowl when I drank it anyway."
    "O is that what you did?" the other lady, who identified herself as Reiné laughed, "Well, you must not have gotten much in your mouth, from the looks of those disgraceful robes!"
    "Disgraceful yourself! Where have you been playing Ra- Ra- something wasn't it?"
    "Reiné. Or Rainé. Pick 'un an stick wiv it!"
    "Ya whatever. You look like you was playin in da mud!"
     
  15. Amidolee

    Amidolee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2000
    I love this R2 sticker!!!

    I found a title!!!!!!!!!!

    The End of the Beginning

    It kinda works cuz Anakin was consider the Beginning of it all. With his death was the end of the Beginning!

    Do u like it?
     
  16. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    Grrr... Posts not showing up again...
     
  17. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    Something was terribly, horrifyingly wrong. A black stain hung over the young lady like a tiny raincloud, shading her beautiful tanned face. She was frightened, but dared not scream, for reasons unknown to her. The stain spread, casting its inconceivably evil shadow over her irrepressable light. The dark and the light fought a bitter battle, continuing till the end of time, neither gaining the advantage, both growing in strength till nothing else remained of the universe except the lady and the dark and the light.

    A scar erupted on the lady's face, marring her silken beauty like nothing could. Her eyes flamed with anger, held in check by the merest thread of all that she was, the merest thread of dignity, of humility, of light. The battle raged. The Lady fought herself, and everyone else. Everyone was turning against the Lady, and if she could not make amends to it, it would consume all that she was and all that she held in her delicate embrace, all that she held under her firm, yet gentle rule.

    Her people were struggling, yet not, perfectly calm, but each a raging flame guttering in the darkness. Nothing mattered. Not yet at least. The Lady knew each were unconcerned with her struggle, occupied with their own problems. Their problems, though serious to them, were insignificant, even bunced to gether, than the troubles that lay ahead. The Lady began to worry.
     
  18. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    This is probably double...
     
  19. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Dec 3, 1999
    Argh, all I want to see is that last post!
     
  20. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Dec 3, 1999
    Nothing against you, but that seems a bit... well, cliché.

    I was thinking something more original:

    For The Last Time
    Undone
    Creation of The World
    Hammer of a Goddess
    Stars: Asunder!

    I particularly like the last one. For reasons not yet clear to anyone, even you, that fits the story best. I still have unseen plans for this one. *TLA squints very mysteriously*
     
  21. TheLastApocalypse

    TheLastApocalypse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 1999
    How the hell did that happen?! All my posts went through, but in a totally different order!!!!
    *is creeped out*
     
  22. JediLady

    JediLady Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 1999
  23. JediLady

    JediLady Jedi Youngling star 1

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    Jan 9, 1999
  24. JediLady

    JediLady Jedi Youngling star 1

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    Jan 9, 1999
  25. JediLady

    JediLady Jedi Youngling star 1

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    Jan 9, 1999
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