Beyond - Legends Letting Go (A character introspection) Complete 12/20!

I want to thank everyone at the Gentlemen's Writing Guild, because this fic wouldn't have been made without their encouragement and support.

Letting Go

It was dark. That was the first thing she noticed about this strange place. There was no light at all. She was not afraid; she knew her fear would only make it darker. She knew this place. It was her purgatory. It was the place she sent herself whenever she felt she had done wrong.

She had killed. She had fallen and come back but not unscathed. She could never forget or forgive herself. She sent herself here again but did not know her misdeed. She was alone with only herself to answer to but could not even do that.

She mused that the darkness wasn?t merely the absence of light but the presence of some being from perhaps the Nine Hells of Corellia or maybe some evil deity unknown to her. She was not afraid.

This darkness did not scare her as it should. It reminded her of the past. It is hard to fear something that already has passed. Sometimes, she saw glimmers of light which gave her hope, most times she did not.

When she felt she had punished herself enough, she would return. The ones closest to her did not even know anything had happened, that she had been absent, but she remembered. She remembered all of the times she sent herself to her purgatory. No one ever noticed she had gone. She always hoped that she would never return there; she always returned within her sleep cycle. The time spent in her purgatory felt endless.

One day, she knew she would have to forgive herself. Even though she didn?t fear the past, she regretted many moments of it. Her fall, her evil acts, her callousness toward her family. She knew she had to move on for herself, her family and her newly forged bond with the infant growing inside her. The hardest part of moving on is letting go.

--Wynssa

 

Wow, I love the simplicity of the narrative Great to read, like you're talking right to us in a way. I'm guessing this is Jaina, but I'm not 100% sure on it

Anyway, interesting concept and very enjoyable. Glad to see you posting

 

Woo Hoo!



Told you it was good Can't wait to see more!

 

Wow, teeth-chattering creepy. Welcome to the madness!

 

That was great. Very chilling and deep. I enjoyed it!

 

Wonderful work! Very chilling yes, but very well done! Bravo!

 

YK: Wow, I love the simplicity of the narrative Great to read, like you're talking right to us in a way. I'm guessing this is Jaina, but I'm not 100% sure on it

Thanks. I was a little bit afraid to try anything too complicated. I tried to write it so that it could be anyone and the reader could decide who it was. When I was writing it, I was thinking of Jaina, but I tried to make it general enough that it could be applied to other people.

Anyway, interesting concept and very enjoyable. Glad to see you posting

Thanks!

IEJ: Thanks for your support and encouragement

Ish: Wow, teeth-chattering creepy. Welcome to the madness!

Thanks...I think

ZekksGoddess: That was great. Very chilling and deep. I enjoyed it!

Thanks so much. When I was writing it I didn't realize how dark it would turn out.

VaderLVR64: Wonderful work! applause Very chilling yes, but very well done! Bravo!

Thank you

Thank you all for reading and reviewing
--Wynssa

 

Great work, Wyn! That was scary, but very interesting!

 

Oooo, most excellent, Wynssa! Very scary and chilling. I like it!

 

Finally found the right one! Anyway, excellent. I like the narrative- it had this hidden tone to it that I think fit quite well. An excellent first attempt and I hope to see more from you, Wyn.

 

Great job Wynssa!

I read it twice, because I thought it was about Mara, but after I read everyone's posts I went back and re-read it, and could see why people thought it could be Jaina. But you're right, it could be just about anyone! That's some good angst when the character isn't cardboard, but it could identify with a lot of "known" characters.
Please post fic more often!!!

psst! And good job of the Gentleman's Writing Guild of corrupting you.

 

Wonderfully written. A great piece indeed. My vote is with the others that posted in thinking this is about Jaina. A chilling-to-the-bone work. I love it!

More?

 

The hardest part of moving on is letting go.

How very true this statement is.

Great job! Loved the narrative.

 

Tremendously interesting piece, Wyn!

Great depth of emotion, and I would agree with some others who used the word "chilling". Just excellent!

If there's more, I surely want to see it!!

oldj

 

Briman: Thanks!

Idrelle_Miocovani: Thank you!

Alethia: Thank you. I'll try to write more if and when my muse cooperates

correllian_ale: Thanks! I'm glad you first thought of another character. I tried really hard to put nothing too specific that would apply to only one character.

MirandaFair: Thank you! I'll try to write more. I orginally planned this as a one post, but I'm pretty sure I can extend it.

JediJainaSoloFel: Thanks!

oldj: Thank you! I'll try to write some more soon.

Thank you all so much again for your kind words. I orginally planned this to be just a one poster. I'll work on extending this as best I can.

--Wynssa

 

Part 2
Thanks to Briman for looking this over for me.

Recovery was slow as it always is. There were good days and bad days. She just lived each day as it came. She was starting to forgive herself. As she forgave herself, her confidence and happiness grew. She hadn?t felt this free since before the war.

On good days, she never visited her purgatory. It seemed like an awful nightmare she had had as a child and never fully forgotten. She awoke refreshed and ready to go about her day. Even when she wasn?t flying or fighting, she was happy.

On bad days, it seemed like before in her purgatory. She felt she couldn?t escape. Though, unlike before, she fought the darkness as hard as she could. She would not simply exist in the past! She also would not let her past define her or her child?s future. She fought it the only way she knew how. She challenged it. She would not accept this unknown place?s punishment.

Sometimes she won those fights and other times she lost. On the nights she won, she would be woken up by her husband screaming bloody murder. On the nights she lost, she remained in the purgatory until she woke up naturally. She still wasn?t winning all the time, but she also spent less time in her purgatory.

Her husband and family supported her throughout her trials. She had finally admitted to all of them why she was always on edge. She finally talked about events in the past that she had kept in for so long. The war, her odd family situation, and old insecurities. They had told her to com them whenever she needed to talk. Her husband was particularly supportive. He held after she woke up and let her cry on his shoulder until she could fall back asleep.

As her recovery progressed so did her pregnancy. Her belly grew bigger, and her feet got swollen. The baby gave her something else to fight for. She knew that her purgatory couldn?t be good for the baby developing in her stomach which caused her to fight harder. By her sixth month, she visited her purgatory maybe once every two weeks. Even then, she didn?t remain in her purgatory as long as she had before. She didn?t know if the baby helped her fight harder or if she fought harder because of her.

Her demons were now fewer and bothered her less. She lived a normal life for being in her family. She laughed and joked as she had before. She even managed to heal relationships hurt by her self punishment. After she had given birth to her daughter, she visited her purgatory maybe once a month. She never remained there long. Her daughter brought her many things, the foremost being hope.


--Wynssa

 

Oh, this fic is extremely, extremely weird. I. Love. It. Amazing job! Update it again, now!

 

Gets better the second time around, Wyn!

 

Excellent job!

Dare I predict that you are talking about Mara?

I'm glad you decided to continue this, looking forward to more!

 

I don't think it's Mara, just 'cuz she's got a daughter. I think it's Jaina or Mon Mothma.


...or at least Jaina!

 

Wyn you did it again! Great Job!

 

Wyn, so happy to see you've expanded this. This is really an intriguing piece of literature.

Her demons were now fewer and bothered her less. She lived a normal life for being in her family. She laughed and joked as she had before. She even managed to heal relationships hurt by her self punishment. After she had given birth to her daughter, she visited her purgatory maybe once a month. She never remained there long. Her daughter brought her many things, the foremost being hope.

I loved this passage especially. Can it still be Jaina? Hmm...very interesting. It could almost be an "everywoman" (minus the daughter part---erm...that make any sense?). Each one of us has our own private purgatory and place we go to when looking back on hard times. But the thing that pulls us through is indeed, and boy did you nail it Wyn, hope.

Eagerly awaiting more.

 

This is very interesting Wynssa. I can't wait to read more.

 

I agree with Briman, this is definitely getting better as you write more.

I feel myself more and more intrigued by this person whose identity is still (quite masterfully) open for debate. Her constant supression of psychic pain, her references to returning to 'purgatory' - fascinating.

What a tremendous effort, Wyn. I hope you continue to write this and other fics. More wonderful talent in our ranks!



oldj

 

jedi_master326: Thanks! I'll try to get the update up soon. You'll see later who it is....maybe

Briman: Thank you! I'm glad you still like it.

JediJainaSoloFel: Thanks! Maybe it is maybe it's not

IrishEyedJedi: Thank you for your continuing support!

MirandaFair: Thanks! I'm glad you liked that passage; it took me awhile to get the wording the way I liked it. I'm glad you can still see it as every woman type thing. I figured along that lines that everyone could have a daughter in the future.

oldj: Thank you! I'm glad that you are still intrigued.

Thank you all again for your kind comments. The next part may take a little bit longer since I had the first two parts somewhat planned out. I will try to get it out as soon as possible though.
--Wynssa