Saga Life Trials (OC PT cameos) Update 2/17

Whats up every one. I am going to try and write a story about a young Jedi padawan and follow her life from the end of TPM to sometime between ANH. Its been a while since I have written anything so you'll have to bear with me. I will try to have something out in the next day or so.
Title: Life Trial
Author(s):CodyMonKenobi
Timeframe: Starts at the end of TPM ends during Intretrilogy
Characters: OC's some PT Cameos
Genre: Action
Summary: Follows the life of Jedi Master Khwaja Dev-Eliezer and his Padawan Kuly Wayna during her training all the way until past the purge.


Life Trials

Darth Maul had only been on the surface of Naboo less than an hour to check up on the dim-witted Viceroy Gunray?s handling of the situation, and had already talked with his master while in the company of the Trade Federation.

The blue holoimage of Darth Sidious flickered in the empty throneroom that Darth Maul was using for his meditation. ?Have you checked on the Viceroy?s work??

?Yes Master, Governor Bibble and his staff have been isolated; his personal assistant Jaymes Wayna is no more, along with his wife.? The other replied.

?And the child??

?She is being cared for, and the guards understand that no harm is to come to her.?

?You have done well Lord Maul. But I sense anger in you. Do not think of this child as a replacement. Having other force adepts at our disposal will be of great asset to our plans.? The Dark Lord told him.

?As you wish my lord.?

The Image faded out and the young Sith Lord bowed his head in meditation. His master?s lack of foresight in this moment was his weakness. Darth Maul?s anger was not from the thought of be replaced, but because he would need it to replace his master. This child would be a great asset to him, and his plans. This would be the greatest betrayal since his master had killed Darth Plaugieus in his sleep.

Darth Maul continued thinking about how he would soon be the new Dark Lord of the Sith when his communicator chimed. He flicked it on and on the other end was a panicky Nute Gunray. ?You must hurry, The Queen and the Jedi are attacking the palace.?

Maul?s lip twinged in a sadistic smile the Jedi had escaped him once but they wouldn?t do it again. ?Calm yourself Gunray. return to the throne room, have your remaining forces to keep the Queen and her soldiers for getting here, for they will want to capture you and turn you over to the Republic.?

?Yes of course Lord Maul, but what of the Jedi, our droids are no match for them??

?I will deal with the Jedi myself, the battle is ours.?

Darth Maul stood to his feet first he would deal with the Jedi, and then he would return to Courascant and deal with his master. This would be a day long remembered.

*****
The battle was over, the mysterous Sith had been destroyed by Obi-Wan Kenobi. And Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn?s funeral had just ended. Many Jedi had attended this funeral for he was very well respected, as Did Jedi Master Khwaja Dev-Eliezer He sat in the throne room along with Jedi Master Yoda, Queen Amidala, Governor Sio Bibble, and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. ?Help to bring all prisoners from the concentration camps, the Jedi will. Lead this mission Master Dev-Eliezar will. ?Master Yoda told Naboo?s Government.

?What of Master Kenobi, and Padawan Skywalker, are the to stay and help?? The Queen asked the aged Jedi Master.

Yoda had sensed something in her voice when she metioned young Skywalker, and he could sense that the boy had strong feelings for her as well, and it was because of this dangerous revelation that Yoda had sent them back to Courascant. ?No, much work the boy and his master have back at the temple.?

?Yes as do we Master Yoda, the hour is late and I believe it is time to leave Naboo back in the hands of its leaders and your appointed team." Palpatine was angry about losing his apprentice, and he could no longer spend the time to tra

 

Good start, can't wait to read more.

PM's when you update please.

 

Well I just went back and re-read it, and I saw a few things that I messed up, I was writing it at the library and was being rushed off the computer, but thatnks for the kind words.

 

A good start. I'm curious to see where this goes. Feel free to PM me w/ updates.

 

Great job so far. Naughty Maul.

 

Thanks for reading guys as I told you it was a bit rushed yesterday, and I noticed that I didn't even discribe Master Dev-Eliezer, so I apologize and I have corrected my error in this post. I am going to try and get this done fairly quickly because my unit is going to be mobilized in a few months and I probably won't be able to then. Once again feel free to critisize it good or bad, I can take it.

The human Jedi Master Khwaja Dev-Eliezer strolled toward the area that the diabolical Trade Federation had dubbed camp nine, which was little more than a small park about two miles from Theed?s palace. The Royal Guard was making sure that the people who hadn?t the strength to return home were getting sent to hospitals and such.

As he arrived, though he felt a sudden twinge in the force. Or perhaps even a vergence. Master Dev-Eliezar stroked his silver mustache that matched his short cut silver hair. Being in his late fifties and a Master for some time this was not the first time he had ran across a force adept in his many travels, but he was surprised that no one else in the Jedi Council had noticed. The re-emergence of the Sith must have them too distracted He thought to himself.

Then he saw her, a little girl probably about three or four years of age. At 1.9 meters tall he towered over her. She had dark chocolate skin, and golden eyes with jet black hair, most of all he noticed that she was sitting all alone. ?Hello there,? He said his deep voice trying to sound as friendly as he could. ?Where are your mom and dad??

?The bad robots took them away,? The small frail voice said.

?I see,? The aged Jedi Master stood and turned. ?Corporal Typho, Do we know where this child?s parents are??

?They worked for the Governor of Theed, someone from his office will be here shortly to pick her up,? He paused for a few heart beats ?And from there she will go to an orphanage.?

?I see, call the Governor?s office, and tell them I will take care of her.?

?As you wish Master Jedi,? the other said.

Khwaja turned to the little girl again and smiled. ?What is your name??

?Kuly Wayna, pleased to meet you sir.?

The old man chuckled a bit. She was a very cute little girl. ?And I am Jedi Master Khwaja Dev-Eliezer. Tell me have you ever met the Queen or been to the palace??

?No my Daddy sometimes goes with Governor funny beard, but I never get to go.?

?Well then why don?t you come with me then??

The Jedi took the girl?s hand in his and it seemed to disappear, and together they walked out and headed toward the palace.

*****

Khwaja, Kuly, Amidala, and Governor Bibble sat together in the Throne room. The Governor had confirmed to the Jedi that she was almost four years old and had all of her records brought to the palace as requested. ?Your majesty, this girl has an affinity for the force. You could put her in an orphanage and use your own money to care for her until someone decides to adopt her, or you could allow me to take her to the temple where her gifts could be nurtured. We must make this decision quickly because she is almost too old to begin training.?

Padme` looked at the child and remember how badly Anakin had missed his mother, but unlike him this child had no one. I understand Master Jedi and I agree the Jedi will be able to care for her better than a government system; she will be cared for and have one on one attention. You have my permission to take her with you.?

The Jedi Master bowed to the Queen, and Kuly imitated him. It already seemed as if a bond was forming between them, and Khwaja couldn?t deny that he was very fond of the child.

?Kuly, how would you like to go on a trip with me? I want to teach you how use the magical powers of the force that are inside of you.?

The little girl?s golden eyes lit up along with the rest of her face. ?I get to do magic??

Khwaja chuckled again, ?Yes something like that.?

?Oh yea, thank you Master K

 

Nice update. Your descriptions of the characters was great.

Padme` looked at the child and remember how badly Anakin had missed his mother, but unlike him this child had no one.

I like how this shows that Anakin had an impact on her even in the beginning, whether she realized it or not.

Keep up the good work.

 

Oh, Cody, I really like this tale.

Kuly's so cute; mature beyond her years, but still has the excitement of a child. She and Master Kwaja will be good for each other.

 

This is a really good story! You are very good at creating OC's. You did ask for critisim. I have been recently knighted, but I'm not very self confident about whether I can properly correct or not(hence my horrible spelling).

But, what I can do is direct you to a Master/Padawan thread. A Master will assist you in just about any help you need, just be sure and get one that you think can help you . For example, don't choose a Master who is good at the same things you are, choose one that is strong in the areas you need help.

Your story is really good. All you need is a little help to smooth out the edges. I think, with guidence of a Master, that you will be an amazing author.

I would be very gratefull and quite happy if you add me to your PM list. I really like this story and I'm looking forward reading more. It is very impressive.


-Commander Tharen-

 

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

I went ahead and swallowed my pride a took Tharens advice. Also Aya has volunteered to post for me once my deployment is in full swing, so I'm not going to rush these out anymore, and hopefully it will be even more improved.

I am having problems with figuing out how far to go with my next post with Khwaja, Palpatine, and Dooku. I don't want to overkill it but I want it to have a little meat in it as well. So hopefully in the next day or two I will have the next post up, but I will defenatly have it up within the week.