Line of Fire (Obi's POV, JA/Post-TPM- One post)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Darth_Solent, Dec 9, 2002.

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  1. Darth_Solent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 1
    Hi all! I'm back! This is a story I wrote a while ago. Hope you enjoy it!

    <~>~<~>~<~>

    Summary: Obi-Wan hates fire.
    Timeline: JA (Obi is 16)/post-TPM (Ani is 10)
    Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own it, just play with them.

    <~>~<~>~<~>

    Fire.

    A Jedi does not love.

    A Jedi does not hate.

    I love fire, yet I hate it.

    I love the orange and yellowish delicate hands, which reach for the velvety midnight sky, touching the empty background of night. I love the gentle crackling sounds that ever so tenderly shatter the silence of twilight. I love the heat that is exhaled from the core, surrounding everything near it with an invisible blanket of comfort. I love the soft smell, which strays from the dancing fingertips, lifting the cover of thin smoke into the night air. Lastly, I love it, for within the stretching flames of fire, fond memories are locked forever.

    It was once said that one couldn?t love a thing, and also hate it. For me that is not true. I hate fire. I hate the sharp, blazing hands, which greedily grab and everything within its reach. I hate the loud, scorching cries that echo throughout all. I hate the intense heat, with which the flames torment their unfortunate victims. I hate the choking air that surrounds the fire like a protective shield. Finally, I hate it because within those sizzling flames, I see the past. I see memories. I see my failure, his face. I see what I wish to lock away forever. I see my fear?

    ?Obi-Wan!? I heard his voice call to me, over the torturing fire, and my head jerked up. I felt sweat slithering down my forehead, soaking my brow and I used my tunic?s sleeve to wipe it away, ?Master!!? I coughed. Then realizing I was kneeling on the floor, I stumbled onto my wobbly feet. ?What happened? Where am I?? my thoughts raced through my memory, searching for an answer.

    Images flew through my head shockingly fast, nearly causing me to lose my balance, Pictures of Qui-Gon running ahead, glancing over his shoulder, shouting to me an order. Images of panicking people, rushing at top speed through the crowded halls. I saw a flicker of Qui-Gon standing beside me, lightsaber lit, and speaking calmly with an odd looking creature. For a second, Qui-Gon glanced at me; his eyes spoke words I never thought I would ?hear? him say. Fear.

    Blinking, I shook my head at the memories, clearing my mind to all but the present. ?Absentmindedness cannot help a crisis,? I reminded myself, exhaustedly pushing myself off the debris covered floor. Using my hand as a shield, I decided to take a chance and open my eyes. When I did, my vision was immediately met by smoke and blinding fire. ?Please! Let it go away!? I prayed as my knees gave way, driving me to the floor, where the only clean oxygen dwelled.

    My watering eyes scanned my surroundings. Black smoke rose, trailing the engulfing fire, which voraciously scaled the walls of the hall wherein I lay. There was a door somewhere in the room. I sensed it through the Force; however with that ability I also learned the door now served as a burning trap. There was no exit, no way to leave. I was trapped. ?So this is how I am to die?? I inquired, tormenting myself with my thoughts and fears. I hated fire. Why did it have to be my end?

    Fear leads to the Dark Side.

    Is that what I?ve become? Or what the fire has become? The Dark Side?

    My cheek rested on the cool floor. My head pounded angrily, full of smoke and confusion. My body was unwilling to obey my thoughts, leaving me weary. My tired gaze slowly came across something moving. It was moving toward me. I was too drained to react. My head hurt too much to think. So, I willingly allowed whatever it was to come to me.

    ?Padawan?? a distant voice quavering with concern questioned. I knew that voice, but could not comprehend it. ?Obi-Wan?? it asked again, sounding even more eager for a reaction of some sort, ?Obi-Wan!?!? it was louder than before, and abstractedly I felt whatever, or whoever it was, picking up me, but still, I made no reaction,
  2. Velvet_Elfin Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2002
    star 1
    Wow Master, What a great bed time story for Anakin. My favorite secene is the in building. I was able to see and feel it.

    I like how he felt fear and hate and equated them to the Darkside and then asked if he was becoming Dark.

    >>>>I love. I hate. I fear. I am human. Does that make me less a Jedi? (Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi)<<<< No Obi no less a Jedi but better.

    Thank you Master. It was excelent.
    Velvet
  3. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Wow. Beautiful little not-so-short vignette. Very well done!

    Cool! You got my thousandth post! ;)
  4. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    That was great! Well-written and a good story. :)
  5. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Nice vignette. Great job. :)
  6. Darth_Solent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 1
    Velvet_Elfin Thanks, Padawan! I'm glad you could 'feel' and 'see' it. Thanks for reading! :D

    Wild_Huntress, Obaona, Jedi_Suzuran Thank you. I'm glad you read and enjoyed it. :)

    ((Solent))
  7. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
  8. Darth_Solent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 1
    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi , Thank you for reading, and I'm very glad you think it's a nice story. :)

    ((Solent))
  9. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Nicely done - you could feel the heat of the fire and the panic that would inevitably set in. I like how you show his mistake as a young Master with Anakin at the end too and how you have Obi-Wan acknowledge that people have feelings.

    Good work - will we see more soon?

    Shaindl
  10. Darth_Solent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 1
    Shaindl , thank you for reading the story. I'm pleased that you were able to feel the fire and panic.

    I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :)

    will we see more soon? - Of this story? I don't know, I haven't planned anything. Of other of my stories...that I also don't know. Sorry. [face_blush]

    Thanks for reading!

    ((Solent))
  11. Velvet_Elfin Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2002
    star 1
    hey this story is too good to be burried. UP I say


    Velvet
  12. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Excellent! I am deeply impressed with the level of emotion you put in this piece, Neb. Bravo!
  13. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    Wow, that was amazing. I love fire...i'm such a pyro... :p
  14. Darth_Solent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 1
    Wow, I come back to check on this story, and there are more replies! :)

    Velvet_Elfin - Thanks for the Up. :D

    Jacinta_Kenobi - Thanks! I did not intentionally mean to do that, but am very glad I did. :)

    Master_Comedy_Kitty - Thank you for your compliment. I?m glad you like it. You say you love fire?well, I love water. ;)

    Thanks for reading, everyone!!

    ((Solent))
  15. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    I liked this! Your descriptions of the fire were wonderful; I felt like I was there, and could imagine what was happening. I also liked the interaction between Anakin and Obi-Wan at the end. Great job! :D
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