Lions and Tigers and Padawans, Oh My! (Humor/JA)

Vrelts! The computer ate my post. Here it is again (as well as I can remember it).

Have I mentioned how much I like the way you put OT stuff in this? It's so funny, not to mention clever!

Simeon, Simeon, Simeon... What are we going to do with you?

Sarah >^,,^<

 

Ooohoo, this'll be good! More soon!

 

(posted by Jemmiah)

************

"It?s gone!" Screamed Isadora Lucey in a mixture of terror and delight. "It?s gone away!"

"Didn?t I tell you?" Jemmiah couldn?t hide her relief. "It must have been that force barrier you created."

She felt as if she?d just run thirty miles, barefoot. "Well done, you guys. There?s something to be said for all this force stuff after all, huh?"

What bothered Jemmiah was where it had gone. And how it had simply vanished, almost dematerialized.

She looked at the youngest of the children, clearly still afraid.


"Are you OK?" She asked gently.

Sabra-Ni hugged her tightly, and Jemmiah squealed in pain.

"What did I say about the ribs, kid?" She asked before she passed out, slumped over in the harness.

"Great! You?ve killed her!" Toms yelled.

"Have not!" Sabra-Ni looked frightened.

"Have too!"

"Yes you did. She was hurt and you squashed her, and now she?s dead, dead, DEAD!"

"And if she is you?ll have killed two people, ?coz the baby will be dead too!" Kelda said.

"I didn?t mean to!" Sabra-Ni cried. "I like Jemmiah."

"Liked. Past tense." Toms replied. "And she?ll come back as a Corellian Falcon and...and?PECK YOUR EYES OUT! Because you killed her!" He was adamant.

"We?ve already done this, guys." Isadora had a sudden idea. "But we all know what the test is to see if she?s alive, don?t we!" She retrieved the brooch pin from her tunic, and arched her eyebrows in truly evil fashion.

She was going to enjoy this.


************

"Master Yoda, are you SURE your projecting the image of a Kulbarak?" Obi-Wan?s eyes were closed in rigid concentration.

Yoda said nothing.

"I can?t sense anything from the initiates." Obi-Wan thought after a moment. "I think it?s disappeared!"

<Gone, it has. > Yoda confirmed. <With them, it is not>

"Thank the force!" Yelled Kenobi.

He could sense many, many things happening at the same time. His master! His master was approaching them at a fair lick, and Master Windu lagging only a few paces behind. From the left, he sensed An-Paj, Bai and Jay making a more dignified return. Almost cautious. Obi-Wan felt an odd sense of- what was it? Suspicion? Distrust? - Coming from An-Paj. From the right, Simeon was haring back as if his tunic was on fire, with Kylenn in hot pursuit.

And above all this, the transport!

Saved! They were about to be rescued from what had to count as one of the most horrific experiences of Obi-Wan?s young life. He was so tired that he almost didn?t care what the healers did to him.

Almost.

He glanced through the trees to where he could just vaguely make out the outline of the crumpled transport where the kids and Jemmy were hiding. The creature definitely seemed to have gone. The relief was immense, but his joy was greater still.

"I haven?t been so scared since Master Qui-Gon caught Jemmiah and myself in that turbo-lift on floor eighteen." He breathed deeply. He opened his eyes, and looked up.

It was there.

The Krayt Dragon was there. Standing only yards away.

Obi-Wan felt his breath catch in his lungs, as if his whole body had just switched off in shock. He?d never seen one of these things up close before. It was huge!

"M-mmmaster Y-yyyyoda!" He whispered.


*********

Qui-Gon ran towards the clearing where they had left the others with the wrecked speeder, and took in a sight that was worse than he had ever dreamed. The initiates were gone. So was Jemmiah.

And Obi-Wan and Yoda were being pinned down by the REAL Krayt Dragon.

"I told you it was trying to distract us!" Qui-Gon?s voice didn?t even bother to conceal the trace of panic he felt growing within him by the second. He activated his lightsabre and prepared to run forward, feeling rather than seeing Kylenn and Simeon running up behind them.

"Oh, Sith!" Yelled Simeon in dismay, and closed his eyes. Kylenn threw herself onto the ground and did likewise. Mace and Qui-Gon did not have much time to stop and ask them what they hoped to achieve by their actions, as they both lunged t

 

"I NEARLY WET MYSELF!" Mace was almost hysterical.

ROFLOL!!!! QUACK!!

And Isadora getting stuck by her own pin?? Coulddn't have happened to a better person!

 

"Just somehow." Toms said airily.

I LIKE Toms!! I was about ready to stick that little squirt as full of needles as a pin-cushion, and now Toms has saved me the trouble! He's gotten An-Paj to do it instead.

Ooooooooh, Master Yoda, you are DEAD MEAT!!

*glares at a certain short green person, but somehow can't stop laughing long enough to make it look effective*



Sarah >^,,^<

 

*reads from her cookbook*

Stewed Yoda

Very tasty if you smoke of fire extiguisher slime and especially if you want to MURDER him you can make this recipie and feed it to your nearst KRAYT DRAGON! Ahem...please just make sure it's a REAL Krayt Dragon before you feed it!

Very funny! Jemmy! Loved Isadora getting stuck by her own broch pin LOLOLOLOL

 

(posted by Jemmiah)

THIS IS THE LAST POST...BUT IT'S A LONG ONE. But have no fear, the epilogue is being written. I'll also be adding the links to all the other relevant stories later on if anyone's interested at all Thanks for reading - you've been a wonderful audience! *g*

***********

"Right! Walking wounded to the left." An-Paj called. "All cripples and such like form an orderly queue to my right. " He looked about him. "Oh, sorry. You can?t, can you?"

"Will this take all night," shivered Qui-Gon, still holding Jemmiah, "My foot?s gone to sleep and my brain is anxious to join it."

"We shall do our humble best, Master Jinn." An-Paj smiled, directing children and padawans alike onto the transport. "Your padawan is already securely aboard and awaiting his touching reunion with the healers. As will nearly everyone in this little party. Eh, Master Yoda?" He spared the taught form of the Jedi master a quick glance as Healer Leona appeared from the craft to help with the injured.

"Krayt Dragons," he muttered to Qui-Gon, "I?m never going to forget that in a hurry."

"Neither are any of us." Jinn replied as he followed the healer on board. He wondered, not for the first time, how An-Paj had managed to see Yoda?s little trick for what it was when the others had been truly convinced of the authenticity of the illusions. People had always claimed that the healer had unique intuition, and now Qui-Gon was beginning to see it first hand.

"How?s this one?" An-Paj nodded at Jemmiah.
"Sleeping. That shot you gave her seems to have knocked her out."

"Probably just as well, considering the day she?s had." An-Paj smiled fondly. "I think they," he pointed at Bai?s drugged initiates, "are going to come out of today?s nightmare with the best memories of the lot."

"I don?t know," Qui-Gon stared at Jemmiah, "It?s not been totally wasted."

"No experience is wasted, not even the bad ones. I seem to remember someone not a million miles away from me once saying that."

Jinn smiled.

"This is the worst day of my entire life since Qui-Gon and I slid down that banister." Mace Windu groaned. His wounded posterior was giving him real pain.

"Surely that was years ago." Healer Leona asked him.

"It was last year." An-Paj replied. "I should know. I was on duty at the time. Splinters can be very annoying things, isn?t that right, Mace?"

"Two grown men sliding down a banister?" Leona tutted at Mace, whilst throwing a fond glance at Qui-Gon when he wasn?t looking, "It?s disgraceful."

"We didn?t so much slide as fall." Mace mumbled.

"YOU fell." Qui-Gon retorted. "You pulled me down with you. Why I got billed for the damage to the railings I?ll never know."

"You?re taller." Windu closed his eyes in exhaustion. "You took more of ?em with you when you fell."

"Aaaaachooo!" sneezed Qui-Gon.

"Master Jinn, you?ve caught a cold." Leona fussed.

"It?s nothing a hot bath and a dry robe won?t fix." He smiled wearily, as she abandoned ministering Mace Windu and hurried to aid the taller Jedi.


"Hey, what about me?" Windu frowned.

"You can?t be too careful." She insisted.

"I got soaked twice." Mace said.

"You don?t want to get pneumonia."

"Hello? I said, I got soaked?oh, what?s the point." He gave up.

The transport began it?s journey back towards the Jedi Temple, most of it?s inhabitants asleep or well on the way to being so. Qui-Gon checked on his padawan. The healing trance would last until they were safely back home, so at least the pain he had been experiencing would no longer be a problem for him.

Until he woke up at the healers.

An-Paj was by his shoulder again. "The trouble with that boy of yours is that I never know what piece of him to put together first. He?s like one of those puzzles the initiates are so fond of that you slot together."

"Long may you continue to put him together again." Qui-Gon said fervently. "As long as my Padawan?s around, I have the feeling we?ll be needing the services of the healers on a regular basis."

He felt a little hand reac

 

Uh..Oh...what's this about?

Very funny insidently I hope Isodora gets to here about this!

 

Okay, here are the links to the relevant tales on these boards:

The story of how Qui and Obi met Jemmy:

As Long as there is Hope (by Jemmiah)

What does Jemmy ever find to write about in her diary?:

Jemmy's Diary (by Jemmiah)

A collection of stories about young Jemmy, Obi, Simeon, Dex, Qui-Gon, Rela, Xanatos and friends:

Jedi Snapshots (multiple authors)

The Holo cameras decend on the temple infirmary to make a documentary. Obi-Wan struggles to stay out as the star struck initiates fight to get in:

The Cruellest Cut of All (Round Robin)

The story of what happens when a half dozen padawans and masters go on a sponsored cantina crawl...and the resultant madness that ensues:

A night to (almost) remember (Round Robin)

Who do jedi turn to when they have problems of a personal nature? When somebody sets up as the temple agony aunt, the council demand to know who...and it's not looking good for Obi-Wan:

A Problem Shared is a Problem Multiplied (Round Robin)

The story of what really happened three months after the infamous trip to the zoo:

Family Matters (multiple authors)

The vacation of a lifetime turns into a nightmare struggle to survive for some of the temple's residents:

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

An old foe returns to haunt Jemmy, Obi and Qui-Gon. How will it all turn out?:

At the Stroke of Midnight (by Daphne)


Somebody is murdering single, vulnerable girls all over Coruscant. With Jemmy and Obi-Wan no longer seeing each other, Rela begins to fear for Jemmy's safety:

Someone to Watch over Me (by Jemmiah & Mouse)

These are a few of them, although maybe Mouse would like to add hers as well seeing as how they link in

 

LOL!!!

Thank goodness that's cleared up! Or is it...

Poor Obi. Poor Jemmy too! Why is it everything happens to them? Or maybe it's just that it happens to Obi and she gets caught in the back-wash. Hmm.

"The trouble with that boy of yours is that I never know what piece of him to put together first. He?s like one of those puzzles the initiates are so fond of that you slot together."

An-Paj has such a way with analogies.

Thanx for the repost!

Sarah >^,,^<