Before - Legends Lions and Tigers and Padawans, Oh My! (JA Humor: repost) *updated 12th May*

A piece of green floss had attached itself to his eyebrow. He left it there as a mark of his martyrdom, for all to see.

That right there was the begining of endearing Simmy to my heart forever! The more I read the more I grew to love that prize nerf!

And I do have to agree with Isadora. I love the way Obi says 'elusive' too!

 

LOL!!!!!!! I forgot about the kid that thinks Qui-Gon was his dad!!!

Too great!!

 

"...And this is the Murrit enclosure." the keeper indicated with a general sweep of his arm.

Mace Windu felt as if he was glowing... infact he felt positively radiant. In many ways, this could be ranked as his greatest triumph since he had gone from Padawan to knight.

The kids were quiet!

He'd cracked it! The little horrors were listening attentively to the animal keeper, literally hanging on his every word, excited at the chance to actually mingle with the creatures and see them face to face instead of behind a force barrier. It had taken a little persuasion on Mace's part for the eight strong private party of master and initiates to be allowed into the enclosure itself, but the keeper had taken pity on him and agreed, on condition that everyone was silent and well behaved.

The keeper had stressed the well-behaved part, Windu had noticed, before fixing him with an "OR ELSE" kind of look. But then again, if you can't trust a Jedi to remain calm and placid in times of chaos, who could you?

If only Qui-Gon was here to see this wondrous transformation from hellions to little angels! Now that his mind had turned to the matter of Qui-Gon, Mace wondered if his friend had had any luck with locating the little boy and found himself glancing at his wrist chrono.

//I hope he finds him soon,// He thought, hissing through clenched teeth. Yoda would have them dismembered if they didn't. Or worse still, assisting the temple cooks for a month...

He was brought back to the present by what felt like a quite deliberate kick to the shin. "You're not listening." the little girl hissed at him. Frowning, as he rubbed his injured leg, Mace tried for appearance sake to look interested. After all, if the kids could stay quiet, he could stay awake.

Maybe.

It appeared that they were just past the Murrit breeding season, but for as yet unexplained reasons the egg production of the impossibly hairy creatures had been extremely low.

"It's probably because we had to move them to a larger enclosure earlier in the year." explained the keeper in hushed tones. "Murrit's are very territorial creatures. They don't like a lot of disturbance to their surrounds. We think that by moving them we may have stressed them slightly, hence the low egg production."

Sabra-Ni held up her hand to ask a question. "Why do they lay eggs? They've got fur."

The keeper smiled. "That's a good question. Usually, it's birds and reptilian creatures that lay eggs..."

"And spiders." whispered one of the older girls.

"Yes." agreed the keeper, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

"And fish." muttered another girl.

"Yes, thank you." glared the keeper, with a just-who's-the-expert-here-anyway look about him. "However, this is a prime example of how truly diverse nature is. Murrits are warm blooded, lactating animals that just happened to lay eggs. Nobody knows why."

"Because eggs go better with toasted bread!" giggled Sabra-Ni.

Mace recalled Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's earlier urge to hit their heads off various walls and supporting structures and found that it was all he could do to stop himself from walking over to the nearest tree to do likewise.

"Why are they so far away?" Kelda Rosset asked in disappointment, pointing to a group of suspicious looking Murrits hovering some forty feet away.

"Well, because they don't know who you are," the keeper tried to console her gently, "They're used to myself and the other keepers, infact they're quite tame. They're hanging back to see if you're a threat to themselves and the few eggs they've managed to produce."

As he spoke, one of the male Murrits started to edge its way forward out from the tall grasses where they were congregating. For some reason Mace couldn't fathom, it seemed to have fixed its beady eyes firmly on him...

The keeper continued cautiously, "Murrits make very protective parents. They have special grips on their feet like suckers, that help to grip hold of their eggs. They secrete a rather foul smelling glue-like substance from glands in their paws that

 

LMAO!!!!!! I love this part...

Great job!

 

"Our sneak-thief has taken the bait."

An-Paj shot out of his seat is if burned. Grabbing his cloak, he hastily made his way across the marble floor, footsteps echoing as he moved towards the direction of the storeroom.

//Got you now, padawan!// He thought, smiling wryly. //You thieving little vrelt//.

Not that An-Paj didn't like Simeon. He was in most respects a hard working, indeed almost over-zealous individual, whose first concern was usually with his patients...except that recently, his mind had been elsewhere altogether.

The healer had no direct proof that Simeon had been stealing the medicinal alcohol from the stores, but it did seem a likely bet. There was no telling how long it had being going on for, as whoever was responsible covered their trail fairly meticulously. Several times he'd treated Simeon to a long, hard look of distrust, secretly wondering if the young man were swaying about when he walked, or displaying any signs at all of being remotely drunk. Never had he had any real proof, but this time An-Paj vowed he would put a stop to it once and for all; for the boy's sake as much as anyone else's. He grinned broadly whilst thinking of the mess his padawan would shortly find himself in.

It had been one of Yoda's more enterprising ideas.

Hurrying towards his colleague who was awaiting An-Paj's arrival, he subconsciously rubbed his hands in glee. He would need proof of guilt.

And this time he would have it.

//I'll show you what true misery's really like, Simeon. By the time Yoda and I are finished with you, you'll be begging to go to Bandomeer.//

Ferdi Xadaani met him by the door. "Look. He's replaced it with a flagon of water." she smiled. "Oldest trick in the book."

"Hmmm." nodded An-Paj. "He won't be up to playing tricks of any kind for a long time, let me tell you."

She looked at him suspiciously. "What have you done?"

"It was Master Yoda's idea, really. I can't take any credit." He smiled enigmatically. "I informed our resourceful friend that we had a thief in our midst, and he suggested that we add a little something to make his drink a bit more interesting. Oh, nothing harmful, I assure you. In small doses, it'll just give him a bit of a green-ish coloring. And maybe a slight belly ache. But it will be enough to make him stand out as out culprit."

She stared at An-Paj. "How did you know he'd take the right one?"

"I doctored the lot." An-Paj said simply. "There's plenty more where that came from."

Padawan Healer Dimallie caught up with them outside the door. "Did it work?" she breathed in anticipation.

"Apparently so. Provided you dosed them as I said, I think we'll have no problems picking the guilty party out."

"Oh, yes," she smiled, delighted at being able to assist the great An-Paj, "I put in three heaped spoonfuls of Sandolomide, just as you said."

"Between all the flagons?" An-Paj somehow felt the need to reassure himself. He had a very bad feeling...

"No...in each of them. Wasn't that what you wanted?" Alarm seemed to root her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

"In each of them." repeated An-Paj.

"Yes." she swallowed.

An hour seemed to pass as An-Paj stared ahead of him at nothing in particular.

Finally, he pulled out his com-link.

"Master Yoda? I think we have a problem."

**********

"Bad news, this is." Yoda frowned.

"Indeed, Master."

"Harmful, it is?"

"Master, not to put too fine a point on it, if he drinks the whole lot he's going to be up there flying with the Mynocks. I warned you how strong it was."

"True, this is."

"Not to mention the fact that the coloring will probably take months to fade from his skin."

"Serve him right, it will!"

"Maybe. But Master, I am a healer. I'm supposed to make people better, not make them ill. I'm sure the Jedi council has rules against poisoning padawans."

"Know some who would benefit from it, I do." muttered Yoda.

"Master?!"

"Joking, I was."

An-Paj pursed his lips. "I hadn't really expected to have to do another padawan stomach pumping

 

Posted by Jemmiah

********


"Look, I'm telling you the truth."

Qui-Gon could not believe the bizarre, not to mention downright embarrassing turn for the worse his fortune had taken in the last hour or so. His eyes remained shut tight in a mixture of disbelief and frustration...no matter what he did, or how he explained it, his questioners were not interested in learning the truth. It was a closed subject; as far as they were concerned, he was guilty as charged.

And he was deep in Bantha dung.

At the back of his mind, several strains of thought seemed to crash off one another simultaneously, causing a dread to spill over into his present predicament. A lot was going on here... Mace Windu sometimes managed to blunder his way into troublesome, if unusual circumstances. Obi-Wan seemed to attract disaster as if it like a magnet, invariably ending up in an infirmary bed! And Jemmiah...she had a tendency to court trouble as if it were a way of life! The thought made Qui-Gon edgy. The fact that she was here had to be more than a mere coincidence and he didn't like it one little bit. Shouldn't she be getting ready to leave for Corellia, he wondered? Her unexpected presence within the zoo's less than tranquil grounds felt like an omen heralding dark times ahead...

Then of course, there was the problem of the missing child. Yoda would be heartily displeased. The temple could not afford another scandal, after that "indecent exposure" incident. Qui-Gon would never get onto the Jedi council now: not that he had any ambition in that area. Certainly if others had considered him for the post then his unfortunate behaviour had more or less wrecked his chances...

He smiled. That being the case, it seemed as if something good had come from today's little escapade after all!

He brushed the thought away from his mind and reprimanded himself for allowing it to surface in such a potentially crucial situation. He was forever admonishing his Padawan for not focusing on the present, and here HE was, allowing the force currents not merely to guide him but to plague him with those infernal "bad feelings" his apprentice seemed to complain of on a regular basis.

Qui-Gon wrapped himself within the living force like it were a blanket, drawing it in, and breathed deeply.

The bad feeling remained.

His tormentors looked at him scathingly from across a small table, clearly trying to intimidate him.

"Sure," said the burly, balding man who had helped to march him to the detention area. "You're a Jedi. So you keep saying." He gestured to another of the on duty security men standing behind his shoulder, making little circular movements by the side of his head. "We've got a right lunatic here, Charnan."

"Looks like it." grinned the other man, who seemed to be enjoying the whole affair. The burly man leaned back in towards Qui-Gon. "Know what I think?"

"Tell me." sighed Jinn.

"I think that if YOU'RE a Jedi", he waved to a nearby enclosure outside of the building, "I'M a pile of Nargot manure."

"Interesting point of comparison." Qui-Gon said neutrally.

"Don't get smart, mister. You're in plenty of trouble as it is without digging a deeper hole for yourself. We don't much care for child abductors on Coruscant."

"Nor should you. But I'm not a child abductor," Qui-Gon repeated for the umpteenth time, "I'm a..."

"A Jedi knight." The security man interrupted. "Yes, we've heard it all before."

"And yet you don't believe me."

The man folded his arms and sat back in his chair, studying him. "No way are you a Jedi. You're hair's far to long. Whoever heard of a Jedi with long hair? Any longer and you could be mistaken for my sister...minus the beard, of course."

Qui-Gon's irritation grew stronger at the flippancy. "Why won't you listen to me?"

The security man scratched an armpit, considering. "OK. If you're a Jedi knight, then you could say, for example...levitate that crate of frozen fish out in the yard there."

Qui-Gon looked out the window to where two workers were helping unload a tran

 

HEHEHE... aww, I feel bad for Qui, but still, I can't help but laugh!!!

 

The keeper pointed to the Murrit. "You can see how big that one is," he replied. "Well, that's the normal size for a fully grown adult. The eggs are about the size of a human head," he said gesturing to his own skull, "and are a shiny brownie-tan color. They only lay one at a time to enable the male to protect it at all times."

I burst out laughing when I read this!


And poor Qui.

 

Posted by Jemmiah

******


Sitting on the bench watching the initiates fighting amongst themselves, Obi-Wan and Simeon Cates shared their misfortunes with each other over frequent nips from the hip flask that Simeon had produced. It occurred to Obi-Wan to wonder if Simeon was a trifle unsteady...and perhaps just a little, well, green around the gills, for want of a better description. And then he wondered if he were fairing any better...

//Master Qui-Gon will kill me if he thinks I'm molassed,// he thought, smiling at his use of the Corellian slang for "nicely drunk, thank you."

And where WAS Jemmy, anyhow?

"Hey, Obi," slurred Simeon. "You know how you can tell if you're in for a good night's fun with your girl?"

Obi-Wan wasn't sure he needed any advice from Simeon of all people - poor, likeable but ultimately desperate Simeon - when it came to the subject of the fairer sex, but nodded for him to go on.

"Check her shoes."

Obi-Wan blinked.

"Her shoes?" He repeated blankly.

"Yeah," Simeon hiccuped a little. He looked more than a little unsteady, Obi-Wan decided.

"Or her boots. Footwear." He bent over and waved futilely at his toes. "If she's wearing shoes with kind of pointed toes, you're on to a certain thing."

Obi-Wan couldn't quite get the logic. "Sorry?" he asked, baffled.

"It's symbolic."

"It is?"

"Yeah. It says I WANT YOU. If she's wearing black shoes or boots with large, chunky heels, you're doing very well. If they're shiny shoes, you're doing even better."

Obi-Wan frowned. "What if they're shiny black shoes or boots with chunky heels and pointed toes? What does that say?"

Simeon grinned lasciviously. "It says "Tell Master Jinn that I won't be home until the wee, small hours."

The older Padawan shook his head. "Where did you get that garbage from?"

"Padawan Dimallie. It was in one of those rather interesting female flimsy publications that she so loves reading. She's a font of completely useless information."

"She's also very pretty."

"Yup. Pity she's so dashed thick. She's got the brains of a Nerf. Baaaa-aaaa-aaah!" He added by way of demonstration.

Obi-Wan let that pass.

"I'm teling you, those flimsy-mags make interesting reading. You know...what shade of lipstick is all the current rage...what's in store for your sign..." Simeon looked at his friend questioningly. "What sign are you, anyway?"

"Simeon...that stuff's a whole load of nonsence!" Obi-Wan growled under his breath. "How can everyone have the same prediction? Are you telling me that everyone in the galaxy who happens to be a 'Dice' or a 'Ronto' is going to suffer the same weekly fate as each other?"

"Jemmiah believes in it." Simeon countered with a shrug.

Obi-Wan turned his face slightly away in defeat. Great - now he couldn't even defend himself without looking as if he were questioning Jemmy's sanity or reasoning!

"What sign are you?" Cates continued doggedly.

Kenobi folded his arms. "Dianoga." He muttered almost inaudibly from the corner of his mouth.

"Bad time for Dianogas." Tutted Simeon sympathetically. "Unlucky in love..."

Obi-Wan glared ferociously at Simeon, trying to wither him with an icy blast from his eyes.

"And what's Jemmy?"

"If you must know," Obi-Wan said through firmly gritted teeth, "She's a 'Cog'. Are you happy now?"

"Bad time for Cogs, too." Replied Simeon, shaking his head. "I read it...and well, it can't be wrong for both of you, can it?"

"Simeon," Obi-Wan said after a brief pause to gather his wits, "What sign are YOU?"

Cates shuffled slightly on the bench, feeling slightly alarmed at the change in tack.

"Me? I'm...er, I'm a...Mynock, I think." Simeon stammered. "Why?"

"It's a VERY bad time for Mynocks." Grinned Obi-Wan with all the warmth of a serial vibro-axe killer. "And I didn't have to read it anywhere. The force told me."

"The force?"

"Yes, I believe it went something like;" Obi-Wan affected a newscast-reader's voice, "The Mynock is liable to suffer from terrible accidents this week, probably invo

 

"Well," Jemmy said, "You can never tell when it's going to go, can you? Sometimes it can happen overnight."

Something about her words felt ominous to Mace, but he tucked the thought away.

*Shakes head* I swear, Jem, I'm gonna have Am add "Best foreshadower" to the awards and make sure you win it!

HEHEHE... I forgot about the water as well...

Too great!

 

I have to agree with Miana on the 'best foreshadowing' award! You'd win it hands down Jem!

I would laugh too! Mace is quite unluckly at getting things stuck to his head!

 

Posted by Dagan Conner and Jemmiah

*************

Ocen-Bai Talz looked around him. He was surprised at how well the trip was going.

"Everybody done?"

"Yessss." his charges chorused.

"You sure? I don't want any accidents."

"We're sure."

"Good. So what do you want to do now?"

"Can we feed the ducks again?" "I wanna see the duckies!"

"Again? That's where we just came from."

"Pleeeeeeaase?"

"Oh, all right. Do you still have some credits?"

"We do."

"Come on then."

As they walked, Ocen-Bai contemplated his good fortune. His group of initiates seemed to be obsessed with ducks. That made it easy to keep track of them. Even better, they all appeared to have good bladder control. Quite a relaxing trip, all in all. Well, once they'd settled down from the excitement of a zoo. They reached the duck pond.

"Don't give all your pellets to any one ducks, kids. Too much food for any being is bad."

"Even a Hutt, Bai?"

"Even a Hutt."

Ocen-Bai sat down and relaxed. The kids had been feeding the ducks for over an hour now, and didn't seem to get bored. This trip had turned out to be a great idea. He glanced at his chrono. Only an hour 'till I have to get them to the exit? Wow, this has gone fast. He decided it was time for a head count, just to be safe.. One, two, three, four.. five? Wasn't there only four before?

"Hey, umm.." Darn it, what's his name.. "uhh.." Arrgh. Forget it. "Alderaanian kid?"

"I have a name."

"Sorry, but I don't remember it. Anyway, weren't you with the Masters?"

"Yeah, but Master Windy saw you here, and said I could come feed the ducks, if you didn't get upset. Please let me staaay."

"You're sure you okayed it with Master Windu? You're not trying to lie to me?"

"You can ask Windy yourself."

"Not that I don't trust you, but it's best to be sure." He pulled out his comlink. "Master Windu?" No response. "Master?" Still nothing. "Hello? Is anyone hearing me?" Silence. Ocen-Bai examined his com.

"Darn. Power's dead."

"Can I please stay?"

"Okay. You can stay." He's going to be a Jedi, right? So he wouldn't lie to me. "Kids, we've got a bit less than an hour left, so start saying bye to the duckies."

"Do we haaave to?"

"Yes. You want to be Jedis, right? A Jedi always keeps his word."

His original four agreed rapidly, but the fifth.. "I want to stay longer!"

"No, we can't disobey."

Great kids. Really obedient. Actually.. Obedience is normal, in a kid under ten, isn't it? Or..

"Hey, how about getting something to drink on the way out?"

"Sure."

//They do sound kind of dazed.. Force! Didn't that food vendor realize I was kidding, when I asked if he could slip a sedative in their lunch? If he didn't.. This is bad. Very bad...//

**************

"Where in the name of Yoda's toasting fork have you been?!!!"

Jemmiah could almost hear the exclamation marks in her boyfriend's voice, and Obi-Wan's face made for an interesting study in both annoyance and relief. She swept downwards from the grass embankment, holding her shawl tightly around her shoulders until she reached the bottom of the verge where the bench was that Obi-Wan and a seemingly comatose Simeon were sprawled upon in un-Jedi like fashion. He half arose from his seat, but she waved him back down, trying to place herself between the two weary figures by squashing herself in.

"Budge up!" she frowned as Simeon just looked glazedly at her.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

She matched his stare before conceding the point. Politeness. Right.

"Budge up, PLEASE!" she repeated, copying Obi-Wan's educated and precise tones. When she received no response from Simeon, she reached over and tipped up his crossed legs, so that Simeon went rolling off the bench.

"You never really grasped the concept of consideration to others, did you?" Obi-Wan said dryly. He looked at Simeon, wakening somewhat from his stupor.

"Just leave him there," smiled Jemmy. "He looks happy enough to me."

Obi-Wan placed his hands on her shoulders. "Where were you?" he asked,

 

Posted by Jemmiah

********


"I need to grow more arms," muttered Jemmiah as she wandered back over the hill laden with as many plasti-cups of caff as she could fit in her grasp. From what she'd seen of Simeon, she didn't think she'd asked the vendor for enough of the stuff either. Master Jinn was going to go ballistic...if he ever caught up with them. She really hoped that Simeon and Obi-Wan would sober up before he did, but Jemmy didn't hold out much hope of that. When was she ever going to get to talk to Obi-Wan?

She remembered the look on the face of the vendor when she'd asked for seven cups of caff "as black as Sith, please." He'd given her a knowing look. Alcohol was not permitted in Coruscant Zoo. But that didn't really stop any determined revelers...and it certainly hadn't on this occasion. Oh, Simeon was in deep poodoo this time. She began to lengthen her typically loping, Corellian stride as the caff began to burn her arms through the plasti-cups. The nearer she got to where she had left the little group of padawans and kids, the more she began to tense. Something wasn't right here...

There was a sound carrying on the wind, a sound that Jemmiah didn't think was usual within the confines of a zoo.

Singing.

The loping stride became a gallop as she retraced her steps over the embankment and then descended, only to face a clearly revived Simeon, waving his hands about in animated fashion to the kids, who it seemed, he had lined up in three neat rows. The singing was coming from the kids. If you could call it that. Jemmiah didn't think she had ever heard such a collection of tone deaf individuals in one place at a single time. It was not surprising that the temple didn't have a choir.

She walked over to Obi-Wan; who not for the first time today was sitting holding his head in his hands.

"What happened to him?" Jemmy asked incredulously. "When I left him he was barely able to see out of his crossed eyes!"

Obi-Wan didn't look up. "He recovered somewhat about five minutes after you left." He hissed. "And he's been in Hyper-Space ever since!"

Jemmiah frowned. "The ungrateful wretch. What do I do with all this caff?" She glanced at Simeon dancing about maniacally and caught sight of his face. He looked much, much worse than he did when she'd last seen him.

"Burning blazes!" she stared.

"What?" mumbled Obi-Wan.

"He looks like he should be swimming in the amphibian pool with the Madalese Emperor toads!"

That kicked Obi-Wan's self pity to one side. He looked up at his fellow padawan. He was a distinctly unhealthy shade of green. There was no mistaking it.

"Sith! He looks like Yoda's better looking twin brother!" Obi-Wan's mouth fell open. What was going on here, he wondered?

There was a brief pause, as he caught Jemmiah looking at him, overly long.

"Err...I don't know how to tell you this, Ben, but..."

He caught sight of his own hands. They weren't as bad as Simeon's, but they were tinged with perhaps the slightest hint...

"Uuuurgggh!"

It seemed the only thing Obi-Wan could think of to say that was appropriate to the situation. He decided that cowardice was the better part of valor, and covered his face once more. He just wanted to hide.

"Is this death?" He wailed to Jemmiah.

She considered. "Sith, no. Death is when Master Jinn catches up with you two for being inebriated whilst in charge of these darling little squidlings here."

Obi-Wan glared. "Suddenly, everyone's a comedian."

It must have been that drink, he thought to himself. Hellfire, what had Simeon put in it? How much did he have?

"Where's Abran?" Jemmiah wondered.

Obi-Wan's only answer was another groan. "You just HAD to ask that, didn't you?"

********************

Menali-Jay-Abran had one main fault. It wasn't impudence like Jemmiah. It wasn't recklessness like Obi-Wan, or slap-dash casualness like Simeon Cates.

It was self-importance.

At twenty-two, he was the oldest of the padawans selected for today's little trip round the house of horrors, and as such ve

 

So I have another confession to make I found this repost as well, and, naturally, wasn't patient to wait again (*hopes coauthor doesn't find out how much I've been slacking *)

Anywho... I just realized I may given too much away in my little review on ALATIH, so I'll try not to here.

This story was just hilarious, mixed with drama, which is very good. The Yoda parts were priceless, (Hafta love the green troll!) as well as the iniate scenes. Children are monsters, but cute ones! (At least the many kids I associate with are )

And the other things were very nicely done as well... (won't mention exactly what, so not to spoil notsoambitiousimpatientreaderslikemeself) So, my kudos to the authors of this story!

I thought I saw mention of a sequel in the old thread, is there one?

 

Hi Luney!

Yes, the sequel to this was:
The Lion Sleeps Tonight

I guess if you want to have them in a rough order it goes something like this:

As Long as there is Hope (by Jemmiah)

From Little Acorns (by Jemmiah)

Jedi Snapshots (multiple authors)

The Price of Freedom (by Marnie)

The Cruelest Cut of All (round robin)

A Night to (almost) Remember (round robin)

A Problem Shared is a problem multiplied (round robin)

Lions and Tigers and Padawans, Oh My! (round robin)

Family Matters (multiple authors)

The Lion Sleeps Tonight (multiple authors)

Tomorrow can Wait (which I am currently sweating blood over)

At the Stroke of Midnight (by Daphne)

Someone to Watch Over me (by Jemmiah and Mouse)

I will probably be reposting most of them over the coming months (with the probable exception of The Lion Sleeps Tonight - a cure for insomniacs if ever there was one!) but I'm sure you can find them if you know how to! I can also reccomend Mouse's stories too, they tie in with the Jemmiah Chronicles through the wonderful character Rela Quinn.

Thanks for taking an interest!

-Jem

 

Posted by Jemmiah

**********

Cut it out!"

The sound of boots slapping down hard and fast against the permacrete followed by a high pitched whining, panting and howling echoed through the rare aquatic mammal enclosure, turning heads and stopping visitors in their tracks. The powerful frame of Jay Abran hauled itself past row upon row of plasti-glass exhibit windows, using his superior speed and longer legs to power himself out of the reach of the little monsters snapping at his feet.

What HAVE I created? Abran wondered.

So much for his great trick with the force. It had proven to be far more successful than he had ever anticipated. Instead of having a last minute laugh with the initiates he found himself being pursued by a pack of five over-excited, not to mention hungry, children. At first he'd taken it as a joke. But not anymore. The bite mark on his wrist was proof of that!

He reached the end of the underground passageway and dove up the stairs, taking them four at a time. The little horrors were less agile, but determined for all that and continued their hunt with dedication bordering on obsession. Nearly there, thought Abran as he hurtled towards the top steps, smelling the fresh air that indicated his objective: FREEDOM.

The path that stretched before him forked into two, and for a brief moment Abran was at a loss which direction to take. The right route led backwards to the Flipperphants and Five-Eyed Whalmerans, whilst the left led straight on towards the Fur-toes, Florriwings and Murrits. Mentally tossing a credit chip he opted for left and bolted as if his life depended on it...

**********

Isadora Lucey watched as padawan Kenobi tried his level best to make his feet move in the same direction, as he went after his "friend". She'd noticed with dismay the faintest of green tints creeping onto his face, and frankly, you'd have to have been blind not to notice the color of padawan Cates complexion...it was therefor with considerable satisfaction that she'd seen how thoroughly ill Obi-Wan's lady companion had appeared. She began to hope against hope that whatever it was that had afflicted the two apprentice's was highly contagious, and that her rival might get very sick and possibly even die!

The thought cheering her, she edged away from her fellow initiates and followed the direction that Obi-Wan had taken, at a very discrete pace. Something was going on here, something very secret. And Isadora was determined to find out what!

****************

"It's not my fault!" came the panic stricken voice at the other end of the com-link. "I was joking. I mean, when you say to someone you've never met "Sith, I wish there was a sedative you could give these little swamp-creatures", you don't really expect someone to actually do it! I mean, not ACTUALLY, so that they?re doped to the eyeballs, or so that they can't move a muscle. It's not the sort of thing you'd expect when you go to the zoo, I mean one minute we were having a great time feeding the ducks..."

"Bai, you're ranting," Qui-Gon tried to calm the distraught padawan, "now, just take it easy. Take a big breath."

He heard the exhalation through the com-link. "Good. Now let's start again. You say that the children have been drugged. Yes?"

Bai nodded miserably then remembered that Qui-Gon couldn't see him. "Y-Yess." he gulped.

?Where are you??

?By the duck pond, where else,? Bai replied sourly.

?Alone??

?Yes?No. There?s that Alderaani kid that Master Windu said could join our group.?

Windu and Qui-Gon exchanged glances. ?Our missing initiate!? yelled Windu. He snatched the com-link away from Qui-Gon. ?What the hell?s that kid doing with you?!! We?ve spent nearly the whole damn afternoon looking for him!?

?You mean I spent the whole afternoon looking for him,? muttered Qui-Gon, feeling his tender eye gingerly with his hand. ?You had other more pressing things to deal with.? He smiled sweetly. ?Such as getting close to nature.?

?You?re never going to let this one go are you?? groused Windu.

?Not for

 

Let's see...

Bai: Drugged initiates.

Obi: a bit green around the gills, has Isadora following him, is a cheep source of labor for his master.

Jay: rabid initiates/cannoids after him. BTW, it IS your fault!

Simeon: Greener then Yoda and totally molassed. Need I say more?

It's not looking too good for the padawans! Then again the masters aren't doing to well either...

Mace: Do I really have to spell it out??

Qui: Mistaken idenity and hurt himself laughing.

 

HEHEHE!!!! Too funny.....

 

Posted by Jemmiah

*******

By the time Obi-Wan caught up with Jemmiah, neither of them seemed to be in a particularly coherent state, the former bent double having been violently sick only moments before, the latter with his hand clasped to his skull as if in a struggle to keep his balance. His feet didn?t seem particularly interested in following the dictates of his brain, but he reckoned that was probably reasonable, as his head seemed to be working to a different agenda anyway.

He approached his friend cautiously, daring to reach out a steadying arm to grasp her hunched shoulders, and wondering if they might not both collapse in a heap as a result.

?Are you all right?? He winced as his hangover began to kick-in. Whatever Simeon had poisoned him with had worked very swiftly. They would need a miracle to hide this little incident from Qui-Gon.

She slowly turned to stare at him, shaking, her hand resting on her stomach as if fearing another attack of nausea. ?All right?? She couldn?t believe what he?d said. ?Do I look like I?m all right? Well, DO I??

He attempted to placate her by sliding his arm round her shoulders, but she was having none of it, and shook him off as easily as if he?d been made of air. ?Let go.? She hissed at him, before jogging a few steps away.

?Jemmy?!? Obi-Wan called.

?Forget it!? She shouted over her shoulder, and continued to walk away towards the mock-farmyard in the children?s area.

Obi-Wan struggled to think what to do. Vaguely, his foggy brain told him that leaving the drunk and disorderly Simeon in charge of ten young children was possibly not the smartest thing he?d ever done. On the other hand, he had promised to speak to Jemmiah regarding her departure to Corellia, and something warned him that if he messed this up now, he might never get the opportunity to sort things out. Whilst his mind was telling him to go back to check on Simeon, his legs had already gone off in pursuit of his friend.

Thank-you, legs. Obi-Wan thought groggily.

Jemmiah had reached the barnyard. There seemed to be nothing but stray feathers and vast quantities of straw as far as the eye could see, but she decided it would do very well until her stomach quit griping at her. She sat down next to the wooden wall, folding her legs underneath her. The straw felt warm. What she wouldn?t give to just go to sleep and wake up in four months time!

Her solitude was disturbed, as she knew it would be, by the unsteady figure of Obi-Wan. He rested his head momentarily against the open doorway, then seemingly gathered his wits and lurched over towards the lone figure huddled in the straw. She looked so young, he thought, almost as how he remembered her when they?d first met. Steadily, he lowered himself to sit beside her. Jemmiah didn?t even look at him.

?Feeling better?? He asked hesitantly, after he thought a seemly amount of time had passed without discourse.

?Some.? Was the only answer he got. He stared at her. ?You don?t look too good, if you don?t mind me saying.?

She faced him again. ?What do you expect? There was Cherryblade in that stuff wasn?t there??

He looked surprised. ?Sith, Jemmy. Not you as well!?

?I am SO allergic to Cherryblade. I?ll be sick all the way back to Evla?s apartment.? She looked hopefully at him. ?Maybe if I die they won?t make me leave tomorrow.?

Obi-Wan looked at her intensely. ?I think we?re all going to be pretty sick. Simeon looks like a tree frog, and I think it was whatever was in that flask that caused it.?

She considered. ?Great. So I get to be green as well as ill, yes??

He shook his head. ?I?m nowhere near as bad as Simeon, but I didn?t have all that much. How much did you take??

?Hardly a mouthful?, she said ruefully, ?and I brought it back up anyway.?

?You should be fine, then.? He smiled. ?Simeon?s the one that?s going to have to explain why he looks like a walking color chart.?

She gave a quick laugh, careful of her sore stomach muscles.

?What are you going to do about??

?Corellia?? She finished. ?What ca

 

?I?ve got cramp, Ben, I?m not having a baby!? *Adds another mark to the foreshadowing list*

Sneaky little Izzy... hehehe...

 

Posted by The Musical Jedi & Jemmiah

***********

Qui-Gon Jinn and Mace Windu rounded a corner, coming across a very green padawan and nine little initiates. Mace raised one eyebrow as Simeon turned to the pair, a foolish grin on his face. The eight children in their group went out to mingle with the other nine. Qui-Gon glanced at his friend. ?You take Simeon and I?ll talk to our delinquent?? he asked. Mace shrugged running a hand over his head, as though trying to scrub something off of it. Qui-Gon stifled a chuckle at the movement, remember the earlier events, earning a glare from his counterpart.

?You take Simeon,? Mace retorted, feeling confident he had finally received the better end of the deal. A dark look crossed Qui-Gon?s face, making his one dark eye look fearsome then disappeared. He gave a nod and headed over to Simeon, who had seated himself in a drunken heap on a park bench.

The padawan looked at the master as he sat down beside him. ?Jemmiiss sssearinsom, mmmm, mmmeniiiiiiisssssbotssssss,? he commented, his speech slurred beyond understanding. Qui-Gon blinked, startled.

?What was that? In Basic, this time, preferably,? he responded, trying to figure out what he was saying. Simeon hiccuped and nudged Qui-Gon in a secretive way which made him wary.

?Jeeemmmmmmmi. Ahhhhhhh?? he began, hiccuping again. ?Heeeeeerboooootssss . . .? he said, gesturing to his feet. Then, he winked at Qui-Gon, who was now thoroughly confused.

He shook his head. ?Jemmiah?s boots? What are you talking about?? Simeon opened his mouth to make another response, but Qui-Gon waved him into silence. ?Never mind, never mind, that?s not important right now.?

Giving the padawan another good look over, he got an idea. He hauled the padawan to his feet and lugged him to a nearby decorative pond, where a few ducks floated some distance away. Lowering the padawan to the ground, he thrust Simeon?s head underwater, feeling the icy liquid flow over his hands. Then, he pulled him back out; the padawan coughing and sputtering incoherently, his entire head completely wet.

?What in Sith do you think you?re doing, drinking a controlled substance while you?re supposed to be watching initiates?!? he asked quietly, although his voice was firm and unyielding. Looking terrified at the master, some of Simeon?s wits returned. ?And why is your skin greener than Yoda?s? What is in the stuff you drank??

Glancing around for an escape, Simeon found Qui-Gon?s hand holding his arm tightly. ?I . . . . ah . . . .? he stalled, having no good explanation for the questions. Suddenly, Isadora ran up to the pair, giving the damp Simeon strange looks.

?Master Jinn!? she cried, tugging on his robe.

Giving her a look and then giving one to Simeon for good measure, he responded. ?Just a moment, I?m talking to Simeon right now.? Simeon gulped at the emphasis on talking.

Isadora shook her head, looking urgent. ?But Master Jinn . . .!?

He cut her off. ?Haven?t you learned to listen to your elders? I will talk to you in a moment when I?m finished with Simeon,? he said firmly, his blue eyes flashing with pent-up annoyance.

?Jemmiah?s going to have a baby! She?s in the barn with your padawan!? she blurted out, then instinctively took a few steps back at the look on Qui-Gon Jinn?s face.

His face was a mask of cool fury, his eyes having taken the tint of ice. Simeon felt the grip on his arm increase slightly and squirmed under the pain. He could feel the master shaking with anger and frantically began to wish that he, too, could move away. Suddenly, Qui-Gon let go of his arm and stood stiffly.

?You and I will finish our talk momentarily,? he said harshly, giving Simeon a look accompanied with a mental image of what would occur if he disappeared in Qui-Gon?s absence. Then, the master turned, the picture of deadly grace.

Isadora?s terror-filled face turned to one of smug satisfaction as he began to make long, stiff strides towards the children?s barn. Simeon rubbed his arm painfully as he watched the master go, suddenly so

 

Posted by Jedi Kylenn and Jemmiah

**********

?JAAAAY-EE-DEE-EYE! It?s fun to train with the JAAAY-EE-DEE-EYE-YI!!??

//Oh, Abran is reaaaaly gonna get it this time!//

Padawan Kylenn rolled her eyes and put her head in her hands as Imri-Doric and Fabran launched into their 32nd rendition of ?J.E.D.I.? while a third, an E.T. called Runa, bobbed his head and pulsed his finger-light along to the rhythm.

//I?m never going to forgive him for teaching these little Sithlings that hideous song! Alright, just for this I?m going to freeze his underwear in carbonite!//

She and her close friend Abran were near opposites of each other; he was the consummate showman while 17-year-old Kylenn was among the more reserved members of the Temple. While his antics often raised concern among the other Jedi, particularly Master Jinn, she found him rather amusing and, admittedly lived vicariously through him. She wasn?t necessarily shy, she just preferred to watch and listen rather than jump immediately into the thick of things; a trait she had, at least in part, picked up from Yaddle. The Jedi Master had rescued her as an infant while on a mission to negotiate a dispute between a band of smugglers and the regency of a small Outer Rim planet and had maintained an almost motherly relationship with her even after another knight had chosen her as a padawan.

Kylenn smiled wanly as a passerby chuckled at the little Jedi dance show going on in the middle of the walkway.

She could use some of Yaddle?s patience about now.

Or a big THUNK on the head.

She looked over at the remaining child, a 5-yr-old Wookie named Zibacca sitting on the ground next to a bench with his legs curled up underneath him. He was quietly playing with a set of Corellian Fighter Pilot action figures he had pulled out of his Happy Hutt lunch box.

*Sigh*

//At least one child isn?t behaving like a crazed Wampa on stim...//

*******************

Qui-Gon hurried Jemmiah gently but firmly back towards the errant group consisting of his padawan and Simeon Cates, along with their group of ten initiates. He remained quietly concerned. She had composed herself admirably, wearing a mask of calm that would have fooled anybody.

Anybody except Qui-Gon, that was.

Well, his padawan too, he amended ruefully. The last seven years had fled at such an alarming rate that the Jedi master didn?t know where they had disappeared to. He couldn?t pin down a specific time when the young lady by his side had turned from being the undernourished, scrawny little child his apprentice had rescued into the attractive woman that he now saw.

He?d missed her birthday; he realized, amidst all the trouble his silent rebuke had caused. She would be seventeen now, maybe not so much a child after all. But her pallor and general behavior made him feel worried on her behalf. He sensed relief from her. Relief that they were now speaking again. Apprehension for what he might do to Obi-Wan. Well, she had every right to be concerned on that score. He hadn?t even begun to think what he was going to say to him. Overriding all these powerful emotions was fear. It was not usually something that could be sensed from her. He saw her pull her shawl around her for warmth, and in return he tightened the grip on her shoulder.

She looked up in gratitude at the small gesture of comfort, but it was a cautious, wary smile that she returned to him. She?d always found trust a problem, possibly why she had few, if any friends other than Obi-Wan. And considering her life on Nargotria, Qui-Gon thought sadly, it was hardly a surprise.

He remembered so many of the incidents, or ?scrapes? as he had called them, that had helped to forge a bond between them of sorts. The floor-scrubbing escapade, when Obi-Wan had been wrongly accused of causing a fight in the temple between himself and master H?darri?s padawan, and had been set the onerous task of washing the walls outside the Jedi?s apartment. Not to mention all the adjacent apartments as well. Jemmiah had known full well that Obi-Wa

 

Awww... ya gotta love it when people make up...