Lions and tigers and padawans, oh my!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jemmiah, Feb 16, 1999.

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  1. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Master Yoda says- what wit! I can always find a chuckle here on your thread.

    [This message has been edited by HealerLeona (edited 04-13-2000).]
  2. Stranded in space Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2000
    star 4
  3. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Dear Diary, thought An-Paj.

    It?s been a strange sort of day. It started out routinely enough, you know, the usual thing. Dimallie managed to mix up a urine sample with a glucose solution, but that?s kind of routine for her. Caught padawan healer Cates playing the teeth switch game, which I believe was invented by one padawan Kenobi and a certain Corellian female of his acquaintance during a recent truth or dare episode. Poor old Master Quirida-Xac thought his gums had shrunk when he tried to put in Mistress Rozella?s false teeth instead of his own?

    I think Healer Ferdi Xadaani has developed a crush on me. This is understandable, but I can?t really be seen to encourage it. I don?t want to commit myself to a long-term relationship, not at this stage in my life.

    My six wives would have something to say about that.

    It?s now the middle of the night and I?m stuck in a tree with more initiates than Master Yoda could normally shake a stick at and two sick padawans in a very bad state. Cates is looking very green. So is Kenobi. Come to think of it, so is Yoda?

    Master Yoda had a brief argument with a fire extinguisher and, needless to say, he lost. He now looks like a piece of shoe leather. But one amusing thing has come from the whole episode; I managed to relate the tale about Qui-Gon setting off the water sprinklers in the temple to avoid one of Yoda?s initiate lectures without having Yoda poke me with his cane. In actual fact, it was one of many tales I?ve regaled the kids with today. Mostly involving Yoda. But of course, he?s not complaining. He?s frozen stiff as a carbonite block. The kid with the runny nose said it made Master Yoda look like some kind of puppet, whereupon there were attempts to shove grubby hands up Yoda?s back and various cries of ?gottle of geer??

    Yoda was not amused.

    I?m a bit concerned about Kenobi. He?s had less to drink than Simeon, that much is evident from the color of his skin, but he seems a trifle unwell. While this occurrence is far from unusual (believe me, I should know) I am a little alarmed by his state of wellbeing, or rather lack of it. Oh, well. Plenty of time to check him out thoroughly after he?s come round from the stomach pump. If he gets bored, we?ve got plenty of reading material. His case notes from the last eight years for starters. After all, it?s not everyone who gets to have a ward in the building called after them, even if unofficially.

    Qui-Gon has disappeared. So has Mace Windu and the other initiates and padawans. Bai?s a steady sort of chap, if a little easily flustered. I remember treating him during a botched attempt at ?pin the tail on the Gundark? at the initiates? party last year. It was carnage. He got so dizzy with being spun round so many times that he managed to stab himself, six initiates and Master Berlingside with the pin before the game came to its blood stained conclusion.

    Jemmiah Gleshan helped out with the catering. I?m not sure she should have put the Best Brand Old Flame Corellian Gin in the Jelli. But the kids liked it. And the Masters did too?

    Kenobi did the music for the party. Very generous of him to help out. Not that his master gave him a choice. The kids went back to the crèche almost completely deaf. And Kenobi got electroshocked by the sound equipment. I would say that it made his hair stand on end, but you can?t really tell the difference.

    Simeon Cates helped out by winning every game going. He was most upset when he lost that final round of pass the parcel. The boy is ultra competitive. Dimallie, on the other hand made a lasting contribution by forgetting that she placed her plate of Jelli on Master Windu?s seat?

    Not surprisingly, the kids rated that as the highlight of the day.

    It was only to be topped by Menali Jay Abran?s classic rendition of that well known children?s party tale: ?The search for the triple armed, knife-wielding, headless pirate and his man eating Ffarfalak.?

    Complete with actions.

    The kids weren?t the only ones who were scared. Padawan Kylenn and even Qui-Gon looked about ready to dive under the nearest tab
  4. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    One of the most hilarious stories I've read in a long time.
  5. Jedi Igraine Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 1999
    star 1
    Hello Jemmiah,

    I haven't replied resently because I've been to busy cleaning spewed beverage out of my keyboard. But not today. I have finally learned that drinking and reading your stories at the computer don't mix. (Sets can of 'dew out of reach)

    Let me just say how much I enjoy reading your stuff. You like several authors on this list always help to brighten my day and make me laugh when I am not in the mood too. Thanks!!!

    By the way I emailed you about a week or two ago, did you ever get it? I was attempting to write something humorous and wanted to get some advise from the resident expert in humor.
  6. Lilith Demodae Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    The highlight of my final-filled days. Keep up the good work.
  7. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    The diary excerpt was (again) inspired writing and if I'm not left laughing uncontrollably, I'm left amazed at your imagination (in truth it's usually both at the same time.)
  8. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    ?She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me??

    Bai was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He thought his luck had taken a turn for the better when he?d finally persuaded Master Windu to say something other than ?quack!?

    He?d been wrong.

    ?Master, please can we get??
    ?Shhh!? Windu huffed at him. ?Nobody moves until I find out if she loves me.?
    ?Who?s that, Master Windy?? The Alderaani kid asked.
    ?Master Billaba, of course.? He sighed. ?She?s gorgeous.?

    He looked down at the small semi-denuded flower in his hand, squinting in concentration as he tried to use his mathematical skills to see if the three remaining petals would give him a favourable outcome. When he realised that he?d lost again, he grimaced.

    ?Oh, Sith!? He said crossly. ?It?s a fix!?

    He groped round with his hands to find another of the small flowers.

    ?You?ve already had thirty nine attempts Master Windy,? The initiate stated with great solemnity, ?And the result has been the same EVERY time. I think you have to face up to the fact that she probably hates you.?

    Windu looked surprised. ?How does such a small fry get to say such big, long sentences??
    ?I?m precocious.?
    ?Hi, I?m Master Windu,? the Jedi stretched out a hand of welcome, ?But you can call me Betsy.?
    ?Master, the other initiates are alone in the speeder??
    ?Who are you?? Mace asked suspiciously.
    ?I?m Bai. You remember,? he pointed at his chest, ?Bai. BAI.? He emphasised.
    ?Hello, Bai-Bai.? He seemed to find that amusing. ?Just as well it?s not Bye-bye, Bai-Bai!?
    ?Can?t you do something?? pleaded the padawan to keeper Dylain.
    ?I could put him out of his misery,? Dylain shrugged, ?Other than that, no.?
    ?Don?t tempt me.? Muttered Bai. ?I think I preferred it when he was quacking.?
    ?AH-HA!? Shouted Windu. as he spied another flower on the lawn. ?This time it?ll work.? He started plucking the little plant. ?You guys make yourselves useful. Collect some more and continue making that chain.?
    ?There aren?t any left.? Bai folded his arms. ?You?ve had the whole lawn up looking for the damned things. Between you and your love charms and us,? he indicated the flower chains adorning the heads of himself and his two companions, ?looking like something from Yaddles? flower arrangement classes, I?ll be surprised if there?s a single one left in the zoo!?
    ?But it looks so fetching woven through your padawan braid,? cooed Mace, ?You know, Qui-Gon used to wear his braid like that all the time. Wouldn?t thank me for telling you though, so shush!? He held up a silencing finger to the Alderaani kid.
    ?Master, we?re stuck in a zoo full of dangerous, wild animals and you are pulling petals off defenceless woodland flowers. Haven?t you got ANYTHING worthwhile to say??

    Mace paused.

    ?She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me??
    ************************

    It had grown very cold.

    Qui-Gon looked at the miserable huddle of children and the equally miserable padawans. He had to do something. Behind him, he caught sight of Kylenn and Abran exchanging peculiar looks when he?d put his arm around Jemmiah?s shoulders. He didn?t quite understand what the look meant, except that it hadn?t been intended for him to see.
    ?M-m-master Jinn?? Jemmiah asked. ?Do you know where we are??

    He squeezed her shoulder, again catching another look from Abran.

    ?I?ve a fair idea, yes.?
    ?B-b-but it?s so dark. How can you see??
    ?Jedi have exceptionally good night vision.? Qui-Gon replied, reaching out to touch the back of her hand. She was freezing.

    Sith, thought Abran. They?re holding hands now!

    ?We have to keep warm.? The tall master said after a while.

    I don?t think I want to know what he had in mind, Abran grinned to himself!

    ?Perhaps we should jog the rest of the way back to the others.?

    That idea went down like a lead balloon.

    ?How about a game?? Abran suggested, still smarting from all the bite marks he had accrued from the initiates.
    ?What sort of game?? Qui-Gon frowned.
    ?I don?t know?something that combines exercise and fun. How about leapfrog??
    ?Leapfrog?? Qui-Gon sai
  9. Lilith Demodae Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    Heheheheheheheheheheheeeee!!!!! Too funny!! I know I'm repeating myself, but what else is there to say when the other people in the lab are staring at me because I'm laughing so hard?
  10. Jedi Igraine Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 1999
    star 1
    Another excellent post Jemmiah especially loved this part.

    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>?To lie and cheat,
    Is not a sin,
    But then we?re talking??

    ?I THINK WE?LL SKIP THIS VERSE!? Kylenn said hurriedly.

    Jedi Igraine

  11. Hiroko01 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    Heheheeeee!! This story is like seven jazz trips rolled into one! I don't even want to know where you come up with all this stuff. No need to explain- just keep it coming.
  12. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    ?Zzzzzzz.?
    ?Shut up!? Growled Kenobi, holding his head.
    ?Zzzzzzz.?
    ?Some of us are trying to sleep.?
    ?Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.?
    ?Oh, give us a break!?
    ?Zzzzz?.Zzzzz?Zzzzzz.?

    ?Simeon.?
    ?Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.?
    ?Simeon!?
    ?Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.?
    ?Stop snoring.?
    ?Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.?
    ?Do you hear me??
    ?ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.?
    ?SIMEONWILLYOUFORTHELOVEOFMASTERYODAPLEASESTOPSNORING!? Screamed Kenobi in his fellow padawans? ear.
    ?Wha?wha..huh?? Simeon woke up in terror. ?What was that!?
    ?Nothing.? Said Kenobi, using his arms as a pillow and closing his eyes.

    ?I heard something.? Cates felt his heart pounding in his throat.
    ?We all heard something.? Muttered An-Paj dryly from nearby. ?Go back to sleep. On second thoughts,? he reconsidered, ?cancel that order. That way WE might get some sleep.?
    ?Eh?? Simeon rubbed his bleary eyes.
    ?You were snoring.? Kenobi growled.
    ?I don?t snore!?
    ?Yes you do.?
    ?I DO NOT.?
    ?In that case we have over a dozen witnesses who heard you NOT snoring.? Kenobi mumbled into his cloak. ?Now kindly shut up. We?ve only about four hours until daybreak and I want to celebrate that fact by not being awake to see it.?
    ?So, you?re saying I snore.? Simeon demanded.
    ?Catch on quickly, don?t you?? Obi-Wan began to drift off.
    ?What, and you don?t??
    ?Nope.?
    ?I?ll just have to ask Jemmiah. SHE doesn?t snore.?
    ?How do you know?? Obi-Wan demanded.
    ?Ha, that would be telling!?
    ?Simeon??
    ?Yeah??
    ?Shut up.?

    Something about that remark disturbed Obi-Wan. He thought about it for a while, but his exhausted brain couldn?t take the strain. Not cut out for night thinking, he realised. He?d just have to tackle her over it tomorrow.

    No wait a moment. Not tomorrow. Today!

    She was going to Corellia.

    Without realising it, he let out a groan.

    ?Are you OK, son?? An-Paj asked, concerned.
    Obi-Wan considered. He shook his head, and although it was dark, An-Paj caught the gesture.

    ?Nevermind, my lad. We?ll soon have you back safely reunited with Master Jinn. And then we?ll have you checked over by the healers??

    This time the groan Kenobi gave was even bigger.

    Just when you thought that nothing else could possibly get worse, it invariably did.
    **********************

    ?I?m telling you, there is!?
    ?Garbage!?
    ?There IS!?
    ?Cut it out! There is absolutely nothing going on between Jemmiah and Master Jinn.? Kylenn was adamant.
    ?Oh, is that right? How do you explain the fact they?re on such good terms?? Abran retorted.
    ?She?s got cracked ribs, for Siths' sake. Master Jinn is just being a gentleman.?
    ?He keeps hugging her!?
    ?Is there a law against that??
    ?They?ve not spoken in over two months.?
    ?Lucky them.? She replied sarcastically, staring at him. ?You don?t half come out with some drivel, you know.?

    She stopped open mouthed as she saw Master Jinn pull his heavy cloak back over his soaking tunic, and then gather Jemmiah to him in a careful hug, an arm round her waist.

    ?Ha!? Abran crowed. ?I told you there was something going on between them!?
    ?They?re just trying to keep warm.? She replied lamely.
    ?It?s poor Obi-Wan I feel sorry for. Just imagine how he is going to feel when he finds out his girlfriend?s been carrying on with his master!?
    ?You don?t really think??
    ?It?s obvious.? Abran said with conviction.
    ?It?s disgusting!? Kylenn said in astonishment. ?She?s just seventeen and he must be fifty four or five!?
    ?Maybe it?s the beard.? Abran said.
    ?Pardon??
    ?Some girls like beards. I read it somewhere.?
    ?Yes, but even so??
    ?He probably just likes the idea of having something young and attractive hanging on his arm.?
    ?From what I?ve seen of Jemmiah, she does not hang on to anyone?s arm!? Kylenn rounded her eyes.

    They continued to watch the pair from the back of the group of initiates, as they wound their way down a path that should in theory take them back to where they left Obi-Wan and Simeon. They should not be very far away at all. The sparks were going to fly pretty soon, of that Jay Abran had no doubts.

    ?Good on the randy old devil, that?s what I say.? Abran grinned. ?But he needn
  13. LadyJedith Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    There are plenty of ?lions and tigers and padawans?? in my mind today: it?s my day-off so I?m reading. Yes, it?s fantastic, unbelievable gift for a comedy ? a real, serious comedy, where the author is able to keep laugh on the other side of the face, to join tears and laughter together. Just look at this silver thread, Qui-Gon ? Jemmiah line! Follow it scene after scene, stroke after stroke? I?m at lost for words! It is a tune without a single false note ? a violin warble. Oh my.


    [This message has been edited by LadyJedith (edited 04-16-2000).]
  14. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    ?Master Windu, I can?t drive!?
    ?Sure you can.?
    ?I CAN?T!? Bai shrieked as the speeder packed with six kids and three adults winged it?s unsteady way across the terrain, trees and bushes whipping past at an alarming rate despite the number of bodies upsetting the aerodynamics.
    ?What. Really?? Mace asked, fingering the daisy necklace and matching hooped earrings he?d made for himself.
    ?No! I?m lying!? yelled Bai, as he swerved past a decorative boulder marking the pathway. ?Of course really!?
    ?Well,? Mace replied, ?There?s nothing like on the job training. You?re doing just fine and dandy!?
    ?I?m going to crash!?
    ?Garbage! Have some confidence, man.?
    ?I didn?t expect to die like this!?

    Mace put his feet up.

    ?Are you feeling relaxed, Master Windu?? Bai asked indignantly.
    ?Yeah, thanks.? He frowned. ?Apart from this spike sticking out the top of my??
    ?Sorry about that. ?Dylain said. ?I thought you were a Krayt Dragon.?
    ?S?okay,? hiccuped Windu. ?It?s a mistake anyone could have made.?

    Bai had forgotten the keeper was there. ?Can?t you drive this thing??
    Dylain held out shaking hands. ?Sorry son. Nerve?s gone.?
    ?YOUR nerve?s gone!? Bai?s mouth had become very dry.
    ?Yeah. It?s that rotten Krayt Dragons? fault. I?m a nervous wreck.?

    Bai couldn?t believe what he was hearing.

    ?You look fine to me.? He said, sparing a millisecond glance at the grizzled keeper.
    ?No really. I?m falling apart.? He looked about. ?You haven?t got any cigars on you, have you kid??
    ?No, I?m sorry?? Bai began. Hang on a moment. What the hell was he apologising for?
    ?Someone else can drive this thing!? He screeched, letting go of the controls.
    ?Watch out for that Ankula, padawan Bai.? The little Alderaani boy piped up.
    ?What? Where?? Bai sat up rigidly. ?What Ankula??

    There was a large bump from underneath the speeder.

    ?The one we just hit.? The kid said.
    ?I?M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!? Bai shouted.

    Master Windu was half-asleep. The kids were drugged, and the keeper had the shakes. There was only one thing left to do.
    *********************

    ?Master Jinn!? Jemmiah slapped his face a couple of times. ?Hey, I?ve always wanted to slap a Jedi Master in the face and get away with it!? She grinned, whilst holding her ribs with one hand.
    ?Hello, Prince Charming. Time to wake up!?

    Abran snorted at her choice of words.

    ?Is that Ms Gleshan, by chance.? Came a voice from above.
    ?It is, yeah?? She replied, staring up into the night. ?Who wants to know, the angel of darkness??
    ?Jemmy?? Yelled Kenobi.
    ?Ben? What are you doing up there??
    ?Our transports been damaged!? Obi-Wan shouted down. ?And if Simeon dares go back to sleep, I?m going to damage him!?
    ?Tsk, tsk!? Jemmiah frowned. ?How un-jedi like. I suggest you get down here, Ben, and look after your beloved master like the good little padawan you are. He?s been struck on the head by a falling Yoda.?
    ?Ah!? Came a gleeful reply. ?Sounds like a job for An-Paj, super healer. Let me at him!?

    A brief clambering sound ensued from the tall tree. ?Ben, how are you and Simeon doing??
    ?Shaky.? Replied Kenobi, ?Up and down. How about you??
    ?The same. With the added bonus of trashed ribs.?
    ?How?? He asked in concern, pushing Simeon down the tree in front of him.
    ?Long story. Some big snake thing tried to eat your master, and it didn?t take very kindly to my intervention.?
    ?What did you do, take out a flute and try and charm it??
    ?It took us girls to sort out a problem made by you boys. Again.? She stared at Abran and Qui-Gon. ?Although I admit that it?s stretching all credibility to call him a boy.? She pointed to the stricken Jedi.
    ?What, gone off him so soon!? Abran muttered. ?Poor old Master Jinn.?

    An-Paj bounded down from the last branch and made his way towards Qui-Gon. He turned to stare at Jemmiah. ?Cracked ribs, you say.? He muttered. ?Well, under the circumstances I shall make you my next priority, after seeing to this,? he pulled a face when he saw the congealed frogspawn and the black eye, ?poor fellow. Would I be right in saying that Master Jinn has not been having the best of days??
    ?I?d definitely say
  15. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    ROFLOL That IS SOOOO HILARIOUS.
    Heeheee "Why me?" Heehee

    I love it! Priceless! LOL
  16. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Oh, this is too funny! I'm gonna have to print this out and take it to work to show around! Great job Jemmiah, I'm looking forward to more.
  17. light_sabe_r Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    I am so so so so sorry I didn't get a chance to read this sooner! Now you must continue. I absolutly LOVE IT
  18. LadyJedith Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks, Jemmiah! I?m reading it again and again? ? I?m OK. I?m OK? Thought Obi-Wan? ? it?s marvelous! In fact, I need a check-for-Jemmiah?s-updates button on my desktop! To read them immediately! Always! To prescribe them to my patients at last!!! It will be great pleasure for them to meet your Master Super Healer? Heh-heh.
  19. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    ?Master Jinn, we must stop meeting like this.? Jemmiah spoke through gritted teeth as the pain from her ribs and the considerable weight of the Jedi master lying across her began to take effect.
    ?Are you OK?? Qui-Gon asked, anxiously making a quick check for further broken bones. The now familiar snicker of Jay Abran accompanied his gesture, and Qui-Gon shot the padawan a look from out one eye that silenced him in his tracks.
    ?I just want to go home.? Jemmiah closed her eyes in weariness.
    ?I know that.? Qui-Gon nodded. He glanced about to see if anyone else had been hurt. It was still very dark, but the sky had lightened a shade or two. Frightened initiates and stunned padawans littered the grass as if on a battlefield.

    ?Is everyone unscathed?? Jinn levered himself up, dread beginning to filter into his mind. Mace Windu was lying in a heap with what appeared to be a garland of flowers round his neck. A man, as yet unknown to Qui-Gon, sat clutching a rather deadly looking projectile weapon, wearing a very surprised expression on his face. Surrounding him on all sides were a group of comatose initiates, all deeply asleep. And somewhere amongst them should be?

    ?Obi-Wan!? Jinn couldn?t believe it.
    ?Urghh!? Jemmiah groaned. ?What?s he damaged this time??
    ?Padawan?? Qui-Gon hastened to Obi-Wan?s side, much as the apprentice had done only five minutes earlier.
    ?Master?? croaked Kenobi. ?I?m in need of a LOT of sympathy this time.?
    ?You?re in need of a nice hospital bed, son.? An-Paj replied, placing a calming hand on Obi-Wan?s head. Qui-Gon squatted down beside the young man.
    ?What have you done now?? Qui-Gon asked worriedly. Obi-Wan would have shrugged sheepishly, except that his sprung collarbone was making that extremely difficult.
    ?I?m not entirely sure, master, except that the bits of my body that should bend don?t, and the bits that shouldn?t do?? He grimaced. ?And it hurts.?
    ?Is there anything he HASN?T broken yet?? Simeon asked.

    Jemmiah thought about making a witty remark, but then decided that perhaps now was not the time. She watched as Qui-Gon helped An-Paj try to relieve Obi-Wan?s pain through the force. Whilst Kenobi?s mind was occupied, An-Paj routed around in his bag for a hypodermic?

    ?I?m going to publish your life story, young Kenobi, and make medical history.? He frowned, as he stuck the needle into a tiny bottle. ?I?m wondering how much of you left is the original Obi-Wan. I think that over the years we must have patched you up more times than an inflatable rowing boat. You are a series of patches, my boy.?
    ?Whatever they are, they still hurt.? Kenobi whimpered.
    ?Do they.? An-Paj muttered.

    ?SIIIITTTTHHH!? Screamed Obi-Wan. ?What was that??
    ?Injection.? Replied the healer. ?Even the force needs a little nudge, now and again.?
    ?You never said!? Kenobi yelled.
    ?Didn?t I?? An-Paj blinked. ?Oh, well.?

    Qui-Gon tried to comfort his stressed padawan as best he could. ?What was in it?? He asked.
    ?Painkiller. It?ll make him a bit more relaxed. Not much else. I couldn?t give him too much, considering that he has some rather dubious substances floating round his body as it is. Isn?t that right, Master Yoda??
    ?Hmph!? Came the muted reply.

    An-Paj reached into his bag for another hypodermic. ?Your turn, missy.? He smiled politely at Jemmiah, who promptly turned several shades whiter than before.
    ?I?ll keep the pain, thank you.? She gulped.
    ?It?s your choice.? An-Paj replied carefully. ?But all you?re doing is putting off the inevitable. Here or at the healers, it?s no odds to me.?

    She gave her reluctant consent with a nod. ?But I want to know about it.? She pointed an indignant finger at the healer, ?No taking me by surprise.?
    ?That?s not what she normally says.? Abran grinned.

    Kylenn hit him.

    ?Wait, An-Paj.? Qui-Gon walked over to the healer and pulled him to one side, well out of earshot of the others.
    ?What is it??
    Qui-Gon hedged a bit before deciding that the best way of saying the thing was to just tell his friend directly. ?It would seem that Jemmiah is?how shall I put it?expecting a happy event.?
    ?Uh-hu
  20. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    YES! YES! YE-E-ES! I love it, Jemmiah, I love it! I can't even begin to praise everything you do so well! Just hurry up with the next post, will you!
  21. LadyJedith Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    Outstanding! Your Jemmiah is perfect! What a language, what a fluent Corellian...
  22. Wampasmak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 3
    http://members.aol.com:/wampasmak/images/award.gif

  23. Lilith Demodae Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    Oh Force, but this is too funny. What else can go wrong?!? Wait! I didn't ask that, because something else always does when you ask that.
  24. Jedi Kylenn Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 1999
    star 4
    Reading this whole story has been a heck of a lot of fun; definitely one of the highlights of my day! And the idea of Obi-torture is beginning to grow on me...[note to self: read Jane Jinn's stories]

  25. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Somewhere in the undergrowth, something stirred.

    Something BIG.

    Attracted by the noise, the screaming and chattering and whimpering of young and old voices alike and the scent of living bodies, human or otherwise, it could sense the vibrations of their speech in the air. The feeling of movement carried along the ground up to its feet. Hooded eyes watched as shapes danced in ghostlike fashion amidst the dark.

    Still it waited.
    ******************

    ?Master?? Obi-Wan grimaced. ?Please tell me there?s nothing else going to go wrong. Please!?
    ?I wish I could, padawan. It?s just that with your track record, I can?t bring myself to say the words in case I should jinx you further.?
    ?I really needed to hear that, master.? Kenobi whined.

    Qui-Gon fixed his stare on An-Paj. ?What?s your view of the damage?? He hesitated, not really wanting to hear the answer.
    ?For your apprentice? Fracture of the collarbone. Hairline fracture of the right ankle. Dislocated right knee. Fracture to lower left leg. Severe bruising to lower back. Probable Giromalthic infection and alcoholic poisoning. Oh, and he has a broken nail on the third finger of his left hand. Apart from that, I?m almost tempted to say that I?ve never seen him healthier.?

    Qui-Gon closed his eyes.

    ?What about the others?? He enquired warily.
    ?Five initiates drugged to the eyeballs with Sith knows what. How you?re going to explain that to the crèche masters I really don?t know.? He mused. ?Simeon Cates has severe Sandolomide poisoning caused through a combination of greed, stupidity and incompetence. Not all of it his fault.? He glanced over at Yoda.

    ?Padawan Kylenn has a slight concussion. Nothing to worry about, really, but I?ll have to keep her in for observation. Rules, you know.? He tutted.

    ?Apart from being a nervous wreck, Bai looks fine. Jay Abran has a medium sized piece of wood sticking through his hand, which is going to have to come out. I wouldn?t want him catching Corellian Elm disease or something nasty.? He grinned.

    ?We have a further eight or nine initiates who have overindulged on the candyfloss??
    ?I KNEW it.? Qui-Gon hissed. ?I told Mace not to give them all that stuff, but would he listen??
    ??And are pretty sick as a result.? An-Paj continued.

    ?Your former ward,? the healer indicated Jemmiah with a nod of the head, ?Has five cracked ribs, and extreme bruising to the torso. She also seems to be having some sort of reaction to the alcohol she drunk. Under the circumstances,? An-Paj smiled at Qui-Gon, ?She?ll get seen to pretty quickly when we get back to the temple. You?ll have to contact her guardian and let her know what?s going on. I would say that there?s absolutely no way she?s going to be fit to travel anywhere for a little while, so she can cancel her trip to Corellia for starters.?

    ?Hmm.? Qui-Gon was wondering what in the name of Coruscant he was going to tell Evla.
    ?You know Evla?s not been well.? An-Paj said, breaking into his thoughts.
    ?Yes.? Jinn nodded. ?It?s serious, isn?t it??
    ?Could be.? Was all the answer the Jedi got in reply.

    ?Master Yoda?s having a bad skin day. I am tempted to say that it?s no more than he deserves, but that would be very un-temple like in philosophy.?

    ?Phew.? Qui-Gon breathed. ?Is that everyone??
    ?Not quite.? An-Paj couldn?t help but grin. ?We?ve forgotten Master Windu.?
    ?Mace?? Jinn frowned. ?What?s up with him??
    ?Well,? An-Pajs? face almost glowed, ?It seems that fate has taken a bit of a dislike to a certain part of Master Windu?s anatomy.? He indicated the somewhat spaced out zookeeper, sitting on a log, cradling his faithful old projectile rifle. ?Your fellow Jedi has received a kiss on the backside by a tranquilliser gun, and once more it will be my dubious honor to remove said device from aforementioned rear.?

    ?Permission to laugh.? Qui-Gon said.
    ?Denied. That?s my job. At least, after the emergency is over.? An-Paj remarked. ?I?ve sent for reinforcements from the temple. They should be on their way with another transport.?
    ?Good,? muttered Qui-Gon, ?the sooner we?re out of here the better.?

    An-Paj agreed.
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