JCC List of things that piss you off so bad you would be willing to kill.

Pervy droid fanciers.

 

Yesterday I fell on the ice and came down on my left elbow. Now, which hand am I supposed to use for my... cursor-controller-plugged-into-my-keyboard?

 

People in supermarkets.

I rarely go as I get all my veg from a farm shop and my meat from a butcher but I'm out of rice, olive oil, mustard and a few other things. Time to go and think homicidal thoughts.

 

You should get the 20 kg gunny sacks of rice from the immigrant markets.

 

I normally go grocery shopping on Sunday mornings. It's usually not that crowded. Saturdays are a different situation - I'd probably be thinking bad thoughts as well.

 

I'm not in London anymore, I live in a small, coastal town in the middle of nowhere. I don't think there are any immigrants (although a lot of people are very clear that their way of life is being ruined by immigration... I guess they mean the tiny handful of doctors and nurses that keep the health service running here or maybe the family who run the Chinese restaurant on the quayside).

Anyway, I survived. More to the point, the other people in the supermarket survived. I should be all set for another 4-6 weeks.

 

overuse and usually laughably incorrect usage of the word literally

 

I know right? I mean, like, I totally would literally die if someone used literally when they meant figuratively in front of my face.

 

You've already murdered, hashtaglol

 

Unfortunately, most of humanity.

I hate people who drive slow/cut you off, people who stand in your way in super markets/stores, and just rude people who have no consideration for others in general.

A few days ago some guy was staring at me from his car in the right line (which cut off after the lights we were stopped at) and after looking back at him he looked away. He then proceeded to race me and cut me off at the very last second to get into my lane. I then realized the dude lived in my neighborhood. I was up at 4am fantasizing about finding his house based on his car and slashing his tires. Didn't do it though.

 

Slowly.

I reiterate my comments on adverbs.

 

Who needs reasons to kill, amirite?

 

You didn't say kill what. I'm okay with ants unless they are biting or crawling on me, then I'm willing to...
The same goes for other pests. Squirrels are cute, but if you're in the attic, I have to set traps, while trying to find and block the point-of-entry of course.

Thank you, online grocery ordering and parking lot pick-up.

 

there's humane ways to kill pests didn't ya know? I'm shocked, astounded and also for the record dumbfounded you did not consider this, unlike me.

 

My local Sainsburys does that but if I'm gonna drive there anyway I'll do my own shopping. That way if they are out of something I don't get a substitution I don't want.

 

My brother once read my writing journal, which is full of both actual ideas and random ramblings, and remarked, "this is like seeing into Larry David's mind." With comments such as, "why are these supposedly healthy, organic granola bars in plastic packaging? Who do they think they're kidding? This is just a candy bar that costs twice as much to make you feel good about yourself."

Suffice it to say, I am in fact about as easily annoyed and critical as an old curmudgeon, yes. The way every single business is run annoys me. Talking to most people annoys me. Adult birthday parties annoy me. Halloween. You know, dumb things. Interestingly, though, I haven't seen Curb yet. I want to, but it seems like it will take a while.

I may in fact be 75.

 

Fake news.

 

Pull up a rocking chair, solojones, and we'll whittle sticks on the porch.

 

Parents who don't seem to believe in teaching their kids to pick up after themselves, or allowing them to run around like maniacs in places where that's frowned upon.

 

"Do me a solid."