Beyond - Legends Loco ~ Songfic ~ Wes Janson

This has been bouncing around in my head for awhile and demanding to be written... so, enjoy!

@~~>~~~

Little hula girls on the shot glass
All we need?s a little salt and lime
We can plug in the hot pepper lights
And pretend that we?re livin? on Key West time
I can run to the store and buy some charcoal
Buy a tiki torch and fire up the grill
The whole town wants to know when I?m gonna grow up
But you know I never will


Wes practically ran into the apartment he shared with his wife, Inyri, and picked her up, swinging her around. ?C?mon! I have a surprise!? He set her down and grabbed her hand, dragging her out of the room.

Startled, Inyri let Wes lead her out. ?What are you up to now, Wes??

He just grinned and kept walking quickly. ?You?ll see!? he said. He led her to a small park.

There weren?t many places with trees on Coruscant, but Wes had somehow managed to find a public one. Wait? ?Wes, this is public, right? We?re not on someone?s property again, are we?? Inyri asked suspiciously.

Wes sighed. ?Yes, Inyri. It?s public. I was careful this time,? he promised.

Then, she saw it. A large blanket was laying on the ground with a basket on top of it. Little red lights were strung around it, hanging from strange looking torches. Hobbie was grilling something. When he saw Wes, he waved. ?You took longer than you said you would!? he accused.

Wes shrugged. ?I came as fast as I could. Thanks, Hobbs! I owe you.?

Hobbie nodded. ?You bet you do. I?m late for my date now.? He looked at his chronometer. ?I?ll see you later!? he said, waving again and running off.

Wes reached into the basket and handed Inyri a drink that was popular on resort worlds. She grinned and took it. ?What is this, Wes??

?A vacation,? he said, grinning back. ?We can?t get enough leave to go to a beach, so I?m bringing it to us.?

She laughed. ?Only you, Wes. Only you.?

?Yeah, Wedge caught me buying the torches and lights. He thinks I?m nuts,? Wes said, digging around in the basket.

Inyri snorted. ?When has he ever thought you were sane??

?Before he knew me,? Wes said, preoccupied with finding something. ?Ah, here it is.? He pulled out a lei and draped it around her neck, then put one around his own. ?I wanted to get a grass skirt and serenade you, but Wedge talked me out of it.?

Inyri rolled her eyes. ?Wes, are you ever going to grow up??

He laughed. ?Nope. Admit it; you like me like this.?

She tried to glare, but couldn?t. ?All right, all right. I like it when you act like a little kid. Now, feed me.?

Wes grinned and snapped to attention. ?Your wish is my command!?


Yeah, I might be a little bit loco
But it keeps me from loosin? my mind
Oh, but half insane, that?s ok
Babe, a little bit crazy?s all right


Wes crawled wearily out of his X-Wing. The Vong had taken over the galaxy. He didn?t think they?d make it out. Kriff, I sound like Hobbie? Even the optimist in him couldn?t find much good. Even if they beat the Vong, the galaxy had already been ruined. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts. Snap out of it, he told himself. There?s got be something you can do to pull out of this. You?re a squad leader now. You?re in charge of morale. If you?re depressed, your pilots will be depressed. Do something, Janson.

Then, he had it.

Happily, he ran off to get ready.

Three standard hours later, his XO came to his office. After knocking, he was told to come in.

He opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks.

Wes Janson was sitting in his chair, as usual, but his chair was now on top of his desk. He was dressed in the most hideous outfit the XO had ever seen. His shirt was a bright purple, his pants a brilliant orange, and his long cape had blinking line-dancing Jansons on it. He was drawing in the air with a strange looking sword. ?Hi, Lorvis! I did a little redecorating. What do you think??

Lorvis looked around at the pictures on the wall. Instead of the nature scenes most people found comforting, they

 

Oh, wow, perfect song for Wes. And it's one of the 5 country songs I actually like, so that makes it even better!

There weren?t many places with trees on Coruscant, but Wes had somehow managed to find a public one. Wait? ?Wes, this is public, right? We?re not on someone?s property again, are we?? Inyri asked suspiciously.

Wes sighed. ?Yes, Inyri. It?s public. I was careful this time,? he promised.

That sounds like a good story.

Lorvis's reaction was great. And the idea of Wes tricking Wedge into babysitting by going through Iella, that's fantastic.

Wedge nodded slowly. ?I see where he?s going with this. He?s right. Everyone has their own way of coping with stress, and Wes? was always to annoy me. Mine was to give Wes kitchen duty. Inyri, got any tubers that need peeling??

*snickers*

Great job, Myri; keep up the fantastic work!

 

This was soooooo funny. I loved it.

Do something, Janson.

Then, he had it. Happily, he ran off to get ready. I was cringing on that part just wondering what he had in mind.


Iella stared at Wes. ?Wes, that didn?t make sense. You?re not sane.? LOL so true.


Wedge nodded slowly. ?I see where he?s going with this. He?s right. Everyone has their own way of coping with stress, and Wes? was always to annoy me. Mine was to give Wes kitchen duty. Inyri, got any tubers that need peeling?? LOL

 

*gives Myri a cookie* Awesome! I'm glad I clicked. You always seem to bring out the best in your fics. And this song is perfect for Wes. Of course I also think My Last Yee-Haw would be good for him, but whatever.

 

THAT WAS GREAT!!!

 

Here ya go, sis.

Wes practically ran into the apartment he shared with his wife, Inyri, and picked her up, swinging her around. ?C?mon! I have a surprise!?
I?m scared?

Startled, Inyri let Wes lead her out. ?What are you up to now, Wes??
Smart woman.

?Wes, this is public, right? We?re not on someone?s property again, are we?? Inyri asked suspiciously.
Ha!

Wes sighed. ?Yes, Inyri. It?s public. I was careful this time,? he promised.
That?s a whole other fic in itself?Oh, the bunnies.

?We can?t get enough leave to go to a beach, so I?m bringing it to us.?
What a sweetheart!

She laughed. ?Only you, Wes. Only you.?


?Yeah, Wedge caught me buying the torches and lights. He thinks I?m nuts,? Wes said, digging around in the basket.
That?s NEWS?

Inyri snorted. ?When has he ever thought you were sane??
Exactly my point!

?I wanted to get a grass skirt and serenade you, but Wedge talked me out of it.?
Glad that Wes listened to him.

Inyri rolled her eyes. ?Wes, are you ever going to grow up??
Ooo, me, pick me! I know the answer!

He laughed. ?Nope. Admit it; you like me like this.?
See how smart I am? I knew that he would never grow up!

?All right, all right. I like it when you act like a little kid. Now, feed me.?
*snrk*

Wes Janson was sitting in his chair, as usual, but his chair was now on top of his desk. He was dressed in the most hideous outfit the XO had ever seen. His shirt was a bright purple, his pants a brilliant orange, and his long cape had blinking line-dancing Jansons on it. He was drawing in the air with a strange looking sword.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

?Hi, Lorvis! I did a little redecorating. What do you think??
I can just see the look on that poor man?s face?

A stuffed Ewok hung from the ceiling, the blaster in its paw pointing straight at whoever came through the door.
KETTCH!

?Um?? Lorvis said, apparently unable to come up with anything that wouldn?t earn him a court martial.
*snrk*

?Hey, ?Nyri!? Wes called, slamming the door behind him. ?Guess what!?
?I?ve decided to act my age for a whole three minutes. Think I can??

?We?re going on vacation. If you?ll go, that is. Just say yes and we?re out of here,? he said, walking towards her and putting his arms around her.
Awwwwwwwwww!!!

?Of course it does,? he said, holding her tighter. ?Mmm, you smell good. Were you baking cookies??
*tries to picture Inyri baking cookies*

She laughed and pushed him away. ?Admit it, Janson. It?s the cookies you want, not me,? she teased.
Well?I wouldn?t put it past Wes.

?I might be able to live with that,? she said, smiling.
*snrk* I somehow think so.

?Because I need to get away from paperwork,? Wes said. ?I need some excitement. So do you.?
Most likely I know what he means?

He debated whether or not to pull another prank. He couldn?t even remember the last one.
WHAT?

I gave Kettch to Myri, my cloak to Hobbie, and Ewok voice changer to Face? ooo, I still have that old holo of Wedge dancing with the Ewoks! Now, where did I put that?
That?s great! I like the voice-changer?

When Wedge and Iella came for a visit the next day, Wedge just stood in the doorway and groaned. ?Sweet Force, Wes!?
I DO wanna know.

Iella and Inyri burst out laughing.
Wouldn?t you?

?Oh, Force, Wes!? Iella gasped. ?That?s the funniest thing I?ve seen in a long time!?
One of the funniest I?ve thought about.

Inyri giggled. ?Wow, Wedge, how come you let him get a holo of you doing that??
What I ask what ?that? is?

Wedge groaned again. ?I didn?t know I was being filmed.?
LOL!

Great fic, really funny. I loved it!

 

Nanner: Thanks! I'm actually thinking about doing a viggie to expand the whole not-public picnic incident...

Leona: Thank you! It's a good song... you should listen to it.

princess_melissa: Everyone cringes when Wes gets excited. And thanks!

Dev: Awww, thanks! I've never heard that song... who does it?

Valin: Thank you!!!

Myra: Oh, sweet force... well, here goes...

I?m scared? worried

Good.

Smart woman.

Of course.

Ha!

Glad you liked that part... it was fun thinking of the possibilites behind her worry...

That?s a whole other fic in itself?Oh, the bunnies.

I suppose I have to write it now, huh?

What a sweetheart!

But a crazy one.

That?s NEWS?

Wedge has to remind him from time to time.

Exactly my point!

But he still has to remind him!!!

Glad that Wes listened to him.

Aww, come on, you're telling me you didn't want to see Wes in a skirt, singing?

Ooo, me, pick me! I know the answer!

<picks Myra>

See how smart I am? I knew that he would never grow up!

LOL!

*snrk*

What's up with the snrking?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Glad you like! I actually snorted when I sat down and pictured it... besides, you really think he wouldn't have kept the sword?

I can just see the look on that poor man?s face?

Yes!

KETTCH!

How do you know?

*snrk*

Again with the snrking...

?I?ve decided to act my age for a whole three minutes. Think I can??

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Awwwwwwwwww!!!



*tries to picture Inyri baking cookies*

Well, her kids need to eat, you know... and Wes... or is he included in the kids?

Well?I wouldn?t put it past Wes.

LOL!

*snrk* I somehow think so.

Snrking again?

Most likely I know what he means?

Downtime has ruined you. And me.

shock shock shock shock shock WHAT?

Give the guy a break! He's retired!

That?s great! I like the voice-changer?

Thanks!

I DO wanna know.

lol!

Wouldn?t you?

Unless I was Wedge...

One of the funniest I?ve thought about.

<beams>

What I ask what ?that? is?

Dancing with Ewoks.

Great fic, really funny. I loved it!

Thanks!

 

That?s a whole other fic in itself?Oh, the bunnies.

I suppose I have to write it now, huh?
Well, I wouldn't complain...

The *snrk*ing is a bit of a joke at OtJ.

And Wes is included in the kids.

 

Great Wes/Inyri mush!! The song really did fit Wes perfectly. Great fic!
--Wynssa