Beyond - Legends Lonely Day - songfic SoaD, Kyp Durron 10 years after the death of his brother

Title: Lonely Day
Author: Rosa-Belle
Timeline: 10 years after Dark Apprentice thar would make it 21 ABY
Disclaimer: sadly I own nothing, only a rather nice Kyp clone
The song belongs to System of a Down
Characters: Kyp Durron, Han Solo

Notes: Yes I know another one, what can I do, I just keep giving Kyp bad thoughts. This one can be seen as sort of a prequel of my other songfic Leave Out All the Rest.
Lonely Day from SoaD really is wonderful sad and I had to think of Kyp when I listened to it.

Big thanks to Ceillean for beta-ing this for me and all her encouragement, always and everywhere.







Lonely Day


He sat in the corner.
Darkness surrounded him.
Darkness within him. Filling his heart and his mind.
He stared at the table.
His eyes empty.
The Whisky in front of him.
He didn?t move.
He didn?t make a sound.
He just was.
Nothing more.
And nothing less.
He tried so hard. Tried to keep the images out of his mind.
Images of his past.
The part of his past he wanted to forget.
Which he had always wanted to forget.
The part he never could forget.
He would never let himself forget.
That one horrible day.
When he had destroyed everything.
When he had destroyed everyone who had been left.
His last man.
His family.
Everything was his fault.
It had been his decision.
He had hit the button.
This little inconspicuous button.
Which had been able to do so much damage.
Whatever other people told him, deep inside they all thought the same.
Murderer.
Monster.
He was nothing else.
He didn?t deserve to be something else.
Every year he asked himself the same questions.
Why was he still alive?
Why was he allowed to be a free man when so many mothers were crying about their dead sons?
He had taken them away. And so much more. He had murdered them.
His life should have been taken in return.
But it hadn?t
He had been allowed to live.
The man he had wanted to kill had helped him back to the light.
No.
He hadn?t wanted it!
The dark side had wanted it.
The dark man.
His seduction.
His fall.
His best friend had made him come back.
He had never told him.
And he would never tell him.
That he was like a father to him.
The father the Empire had stolen from him so long ago.
An Empire that was dead now.
But an Empire that still consisted of cruelty and brutal force.
An Empire that would never cease to exist.
And there was nothing he could do to change that.
He was only a single man.
A lonely Jedi.
A Jedi with the Force.
The Force would always be there.
Would help him to survive.
But not here.
On this day, in this case.
The Force couldn?t do anything.
Because he didn?t dare to open himself.
To let him be filled by the wonderful sweetness.
And let the Force flow through him.
All those years ago the Force hadn?t helped him.
Only to kill.
He feared to step over the invisible line of black and white.
Now, on this day, the dark part of the Force wasn?t far away from him.
It was waiting for him.
Calling out to him.
Maybe it would catch him.
Again.
And again he would destroy.
Destroy the second chance of a life.
He didn?t hope for a third one.
He would rather die than step over another time.
Some people said he was already there.
In the shadows.
The evil on the surface.
Because he was different.
He wasn?t like a Master was supposed to be.
He would never be able to fulfill what others expected of him.
But he knew better.
Before he would let himself venture down that road again,
he would use his blade.
His purple light.
And take his life.
For a better world.
Better his life than another.
Everyone deserved to live.
Everyone deserved more than him.
He was Kyp Durron.

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Every year.
On some planets they called it summer.
On other worlds winter.
He didn?t care.
It didn?t matter.
The winter was in his heart.
The coldness filling it.
Zeth?s place.
The empty spot tha

 

Wonderful job, Rosa! You did good.

And you're welcome for the Beta Reading!

 

Ahhh! A new story filled with Kyp angst. I'm quite surre it was the anniversary day of Zeth's death? For a "doer" Kyp was really wallowing in his thoughts ( not that he can't-he'd just lost touch with himself).

I'm glad you brought Han to the rescue. He helped Kyp come back to the here and now.

Just one thing: they don't have "earth". They have planet, Coruscnat, ground...etc...

Thanks for the song fic!