Story [LOTR] "The Elf Princess Diaries, Vol 1" (PG, Chaps 16-19 up 02 July 2009)

. . . Hellooooo?

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[b]--Chapter Ten--[/b]

Melinda had boxed up Jared's things after his death, but had not given them away, so there were plenty of items to choose from, at least for Haldir and Legolas. Bree's adoptive father had been at least two inches over six feet, so there was no problem in the height department.

Haldir dressed in grey slacks and a burgundy sweater. Brianna teased him about his predictable colour choices. He wasn't willing to give up the braids, until Bree explained he'd be conspicuous with them, so he finally surrendered and let her pull his hair back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck.

Legolas was more amiable, for some reason, to playing dress-like-a-human. He dressed in jeans, tennis shoes, and one of Jared's Star Wars shirts. It had Luke battling Vader on it. He insisted on putting his hair into a single braid. Bree had a suspicion that he'd [i]love[/i] the mall.

Gimli was the tough one. Being a dwarf, his height set him apart straight off the bat. Add to that his armour, and his really long, really frizzy red hair . . .

"No."

"Oh, c'mon. It'll grow back! It's not like it's permanent!" Brianna rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder at Legolas, who was grinning. "You're what, sixty? You've gotta have at [i]least[/i] a hundred and fifty years in which to grow it back! My hair's, like, double the length of yours, and I'm only eighteen!"

"Ye're also an elf. I'm a dwarf. An' dwarves don't cut their hair. Or shave their beards." Gimli folded his arms and glared at her.

Bree crouched in front of the dwarf, who was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet. "Well, you know, if it were up to me, I'd let you stay just the way you are. But, see, here, you're undercover, and you need to blend in. 'Cause I'm pretty sure that if this Dinosaur person-"

"Daneithionâr," Legolas corrected.

"Daneithionâr were to see a dwarf walking around Manhattan, he'd know something's up. Right?"

Grudgingly, Gimli nodded.

"Well, my mom's gone to the store to get some clothes that should fit you. We should probably have your hair taken care of by the time she gets back."

"I don't see why I hafta do it. Ye didn't make the elves cut their hair."

"Okay, that's true. Let's put it this way. Would you like to spend the entire time you're in New York locked in the apartment, or should I cut your hair?"

Gimli looked from Bree to Legolas, and back. Then he sighed. "Fine. Cut it off."

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An hour later, Brianna sat at the kitchen table, watching as the guys tried to get used to their new looks. Especially Gimli. The dwarf's hair now reached the nape of his neck, rather than his belt, and his beard had been shaved. Off. Completely.

"Legolas, stop teasing Gimli," Melinda said as she walked into the kitchen. She had several large boxes in her arms.

Haldir immediately lifted all but one of the wrapped presents and set them on the counter. He missed the look Bree and Shelley exchanged at the gesture.

"Okay," Bree began. "Shelley and I have come up with identities for you guys to go by with outsiders. That's basically everyone outside we six. Got it? Okay. Haldir, you're now Harry Silverman." She and Shell had considered "Golden" for a last name, but had only been able to giggle when trying to say it.

"Gimli, you're Gary Allston." Brianna looked at Legolas for several moments. "As for you, Legsy, we're still workin' on that."

"Legsy?" Legolas demanded.

"Hey, I coulda called you Leggylooloo," Bree said pragmatically.

She and Shelley burst out laughing.

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Since it was now mid-afternoon, and Brianna's party wasn't until seven, she decided to get things over with, and explained who J.R.R. Tolkien was. Then she put in the extended edition of "Fellowship of the Ring", explained that it was a movie, kind of like the one they'd watched earlier--Legolas had sworn at Vader when he killed Obi-Wan--and told them to just watch.

Brianna watched the faces of the elves as the movie opened, with a swirling blue and black screen. Then a voice said,

 

I'm still here and interested, I thought maybe you had forgotten about this one.

 

No, I didn't forget. I just had a nervous breakdown and spent three days in the hospital on suicide watch. It was a little disappointing to come back when I felt well enough and post five chapters, and find all my readers gone.

 

I hope everything is going better in your life!

And I'm not gone... Been busy with NaNoWriMo and Thanksgiving.

*snickers* Haldir's reaction to the jeans is priceless... and quite within the reaction for Elven mores.

I feel sorry for Gimli.

Perhaps Bree's place was with the elves. There would be nothing for her here, except pain and death. Not the only thing, but it'll eventually be overwhelming.

As they headed back to the living room, Haldir said, "Now, about this boy who is courting you."
"Don't. Start." *snickers*

 

I'm so amused to see the theme I made up in the forum. Hee.

It is and it isn't. I'm on medication now, and in therapy, which is helping, but I have over $3000 in bills now. Blegh.

It's okay. I'm afraid I came off a bit whiny, but I have good days and bad, and . . . that was a bad one.

You should see Haldir's reaction to her swimsuit in EPD2. *snicker*

More soon!

 

This is really good. I just have one question... when in relation to the movies does this take place? It would have to be after the battle at Helm's deep, because Haldir said he was wounded at that battle (very glad he didn't actually die like in the movies... or is this a different battle), but before the ending because Gandalf and Galadriel are still around. Or is this an AU where Gandalf and Galadriel never leave?

 

Thank you!

Yes, it takes place after Helm's Deep, but before Gandalf and Galadriel sail to Valinor. The movie and book timelines don't exactly sync up, so I'm going with a bit of a . . . hodge-podge. Currently, it's about a year after the end of "Return Of The King", so they've got ~1 year before Gandalf and Galadriel leave.

 

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted!

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[b]--Chapter Thirteen--[/b]

The rest of the party went off without a hitch. Bree was constantly wishing that she hadn't invited her adoptive family, because they went out of their way to be rude to her new friends.

Shane was another matter entirely. He spent the whole evening either trying to get fresh with Brianna--even with her parents present, one of whom was seriously contemplating removing the boy's fingers with a dull knife--or flirting with Ariel, Bree's cousin.

As soon as the door closed behind Shelley, who was the last to leave, Bree sank down on the loveseat in the living room and sighed. To think the highlight of her day had been finding out she wasn't human.

She got up and went into the kitchen, where Haldir and Melinda were talking. Brianna picked up the ugly roses Shane had bought her. "Okay, I've got a question for you, [i]atar[/i]," she said to Haldir, addressing him in Sindarin. "Why did the sight of these make me want to cry?"

"Because they're ugly?" Legolas suggested from where he sat at the kitchen table, devouring another piece of cake.

For a moment, everyone smiled at the joke. Then Haldir said, "Besides that, I would guess it was because something living was destroyed to be presented to you as if it would make you happy. As elf-kind, you are sensitive to this. If he had wanted to give you a more appropriate gift, he would have given you something living, such as the entire bush. But, yes, they're ugly."

Bree sighed. "Great. My boyfriend is an unfeeling lout who flirts with my cousin."

She dumped the roses in the trash and sat down at the table, between Legolas and Gimli. "So, now what?"

Melinda fiddled with a dishrag for a moment, then said, "Depending on how long you three will be here . . . we might need to get you some . . . fake IDs. Or something."

Bree nodded. "Yeah. We wouldn't want anything [i]Kate and Leopold[/i]-y to happen. I mean, okay, we don't even [i]have[/i] a dog . . ."

She trailed off when she realised Haldir, Legolas, and Gimli were staring at her in utter incomprehension. "And that will be explained later. Um. I don't know how to get fake IDs."

"Ordinarily, I'd be very pleased with that information," Melinda said. "However . . ."

"Yeah." Brianna thought for a moment. "I could go on the 'net, search around a bit. We won't need driver's licenses, just, uh . . . passports and a couple of VISAs, right?"

Melinda was thoughtful. "I don't know. We'd only have to worry in the event one of them got arrested."

"Okay, well, I think if we manage to keep these guys out of trouble, we should be okay." Brianna smiled brightly. "Now, who's up for a really bad cartoon about Bilbo Baggins?"

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Brianna was sitting on the fire escape just outside her bedroom window, looking up at the stars, when Haldir climbed out. He sat down next to her on one of the folding lawn chairs.

For several moments, neither spoke. Then Bree asked, "Which star is Earendil?"

Haldir studied the sky for a moment. "The positions of the stars change over time. It has been seven thousand years, so the sky looks different to me. But . . . I believe it is that one."

He pointed up, to a particularly bright star. It wasn't easy to star gaze in New York City.

"We call that Sirius," Bree said. "The Dog Star. It's the alpha star of the constellation Canus Major. I suspected it might be that one. It's currently the brightest star in the sky, even brighter than the North Star."

"I cannot be certain. The sky here is nothing like in Lórien. Only a tiny fraction of the sky is visible now."

"That'd be 'cause of the city lights reflecting off the smog."

Brianna pointed to the moon, which was almost to its last quarter. "We've been there. I mean, we've put men on the moon. Using a big rocket."

"Men have walked on the moon."

"Yep."

For several minutes, Haldir wondered at this. Then he remembered why he had come outside, and reached into his pocket. "Melinda told me where to find the place where you were

 

Yeah! A post! I had almost given up on this story!
That was wonderful. I especially loved the morning trauma! And, oh no! They watch Spongebob?!? I agree with Bree, middle-earth may very well be doomed!

Thanks again for the update!

 

excellent story. Can i hear the rest?

 

Thanks, guys!

These chapters are still short. I really don't know how they ended up SO short. Shoud have paid better attention when I was numbering them, I guess. So, lucky you, you get multiples again.

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[b]--Chapter Sixteen--[/b]

Brianna brought out her rotating CD tower--she had close to 300 CDs--and set it next to the entertainment system in the living room. She pulled one out at random.

"This is a CD," she said. "Sounds are recorded on it, to make music. I don't know how, so don't ask. Never, ever, ever touch any surface of the CD except for the very edge."

She pulled the disc out of the case and demonstrated. "See?"

"How do you listen to the music?" Gimli asked.

Brianna put the CD into the CD player. Then she pressed "play". A few seconds later, orchestral music, that of John William and the London Symphony, came out of the speakers set around the room. It was the theme from "Star Wars", and Legolas perked up immediately. Bree made a mental note to buy him a toy lightsaber.

"This music is from 'Star Wars'. Actually, it's from 'Attack of the Clones', which is episode two. You guys have seen episode four."

"We have watched them out of order?" Legolas demanded, upset.

"Um. Yeah. Well. I wasn't sure if I wanted to subject you guys to 'The Phantom Menace'. We'll watch 'The Empire Strikes Back' and 'Return of the Jedi', then see how you'd feel about watching the others. It'd kinda damage the impact of five and six to watch one and two first."

"What of three?" Haldir asked.

"Isn't out yet." Brianna selected another CD. "This is my favourite song. Well, this and 'With Or Without You' by U2. This is Richard Marx."

She queued up the song and pressed "play".

Haldir nodded approvingly of the music.

[i]Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice
On the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you[/i]

Before the song ended, because it always made her cry, Bree stopped the song and quickly changed to something else, pretty much randomly.

"This is a band I like, called Matchbox Twenty."

[i]Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go

You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go

No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried to every let you down
Beautiful girl, bless your heart

I got a disease deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy, baby
I can't live without you, tell me
What am I supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from me
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease[/i]

Legolas liked it, as Bree had suspected he would. He seemed like a rock type. Haldir seemed more of the soft-rock type. He'd probably like Phil Collins. As for Gimli . . . she'd have to look into that.

"Of course, I like a wide range of stuff," she concluded. "I've got pretty much everything from Celine Dion to Rob Zombie."

"Rob Zombie?" Haldir questioned, frowning.

"Um. Yeah. He's on the 'Matrix' soundtrack. I don't usually listen to that one, though."

Brianna checked her watch. "Ooh. If we wanna get a matinee, we'd better book it. We've got to get you guys subway day passes and get over to the theatre."

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As Brianna was grabbing her coat--she didn't need it, she was only getting it for her mother's peace of mind--Haldir said, "I have promised that I would not dictate to you about your appearance. But I feel I must ask why you insist on this manner of dress."

"'Cause it's cute, and in style, and I like it," she said, shrugging into the short leather jacket. "Why do you insist on wearing red, black, gold, and grey?"

He blinked. "They are the colours I am used to."

"'Kay, well, this is the clothing [i]I'm[/i] used to wearing. It might seem slutty to you, but this is pretty modest. And I have to wear

 

Loved the spider scene!! Of course, I would be standing right with Haldir and Legolas because I am terrified of spiders!

 

maybe taking them to see Two Towers was a bad idea.......

 

Can't wait for the next one! The spider incident was priceless and the comment on the flowers had me rollin ^_^