Before Lotus Leaves (Obi/Qui, JA) - *COMPLETE* - 5/27

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ithesock, Apr 27, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Upping this in hopes of more soon, and to say I think I know who you are. o_O
  2. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Just read what you have so far of your fic... And I must, for the record, also agree that your writing is familiar. Oooh, the mystery :p There is something simply elegant about your writing! I admire it :) The relationship portrayed between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan is excellently and smoothly executed... Gaaah. I love it. Add me to your fanwagon :p
  3. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Thanks for the replies everyone - and welcome aboard, Tahiri :)

    LE, m'dear, sweet of you to up this :) - I shall be back with a post within a day or two, at the most. [And I thought you'd already guessed who I was?!]
  4. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh no, I'm much slower than you might think. 8-}
  5. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Strange :D. One of your comments indicated that you had.

    LOL. This is fun [face_laugh]
  6. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    The last post - and it satisfies you, I hope.

    Replies...when...I'm...recovered. :)

    ****************

    XIV


    A gust of cool wind swept its way down the corridor, and Obi-Wan pulled the cloak around his shoulders closer, careful not to remove his eyes from Qui-Gon. ?Master??? He probed. ?What were the other factors?? To him, it appeared as though a miraculous route of escape had been thrown open?and even if he did harbour some guilt, it was an avenue of release he had not considered hitherto, and found vaguely comforting.

    Qui-Gon?s eyes were fixed on the murky sky-line. The lines in his forehead seemed to have deepened, as though he were debating something within himself. Finally, he drew a deep breath, as if coming to a conclusion. ?I believe there?s something you should know, that might throw some light on what has happened. I had thought of telling you, but?? His voice trailed away.

    Obi-Wan?s heart sank a little, as he turned away. How long will it take for him to trust me?

    ??I now think it would be a better idea to show you,? the master finished.

    Obi-Wan blinked. ?Show me??

    Qui-Gon smiled slightly. ?Surely you haven?t forgotten all the memory-sharing techniques I taught you, padawan??

    It came to him at once, then, and Obi-Wan shook his head, trying not to appear any more of a misguided youngling than he felt. ?I do remember,? he admitted, smiling ruefully. ?I didn?t connect?? he paused for a moment, and a sudden suspicion entered his mind. Abruptly, he turned towards Qui-Gon. ?Have you been talking to Master Windu?? he asked. The master returned no answer. ?Master Yoda, then??

    ?Patience, padawan mine.?

    He fell silent at once, recognizing the slight amusement that laced Qui-Gon?s voice; for some reason, the emotion he felt buoyed him?and he felt relieved. ?Yes, master.?

    ?Very well, then.? Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan?s forehead; his forefinger exerted a slight pressure on the tiny crease that existed in between the padawan?s eye-brows. ?We?ll begin when you?re ready.?

    Obi-Wan nodded his assent, and proceeded to engage in series of relaxation techniques that had the effect of stilling his mind in a gradual process. He had been coached in them rigorously by Qui-Gon himself; for there had been many occasions in which speech could not be relied upon?the mind, and only the mind could be used. It was not as easy as it usually was?he had to work on relegating his confusion and weariness to other, more secure areas of his mind, as he was sure Qui-Gon was doing. Nevertheless, it had been done before, and it could be done now. He visualized his thoughts departing into the wide world outside, cleared any residual debris, waited to see if his mind was prepared and ready for an increase in the presence of that which already occupied a corner of his mind.

    In a rare moment of stillness during which even the rainstorm seemed to have dwindled to an expectant hush, his mind slipped into tranquillity. Physical touch may or may not aid such techniques for others?he had found that his concentration improved if it was used. In time, the need for it would disappear; for now, it was necessary. It chagrined him, of course, that Qui-Gon needed no such nudging from the outside to achieve what he wished. He sat silent for a moment, wondering about when he would achieve such mastery?and then resolutely banished the last, wandering thought.

    ?I?m ready, master.?

    ?Good. Proceed.?

    Obi-Wan took a deep breath as he shut out the sounds from outside, felt the warm touch on his forehead; concentrated on the small pin-prick of light that shone in the centre, and reached an ?arm? towards it.

    A tendril of light came forward to meet him. One tendril became two, two became four, and four suddenly blossomed into a large, glowing cluster of light. He felt vaguely uneasy, for entering another?s mind? regardless of however welcomed he was?had been taught as a violation of the strictest privacy; to indulge in it for no reason whatsoever would bring a heap of retr
  7. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    :eek:
    *looks shocked*
    I don't know what to say, socky.
    I simply don't.
    *Gives deep bow and leaves, feeling utterly bewildered at her amazingness*
  8. Neo-Paladin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 4
    I was hopeing the ending would be all this. You did not disapoint in the least. Thank you for a wonderful ride. :)
  9. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Beautifully done, ithesock. I loved the ending, with Qui saying the things that needed to be said. Great balance between not too mushy and not mushy enough.

    And I was wrong on Xanatos. :p Oh well. That would have been interesting, but what you did was good too. :D
  10. foxsolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    I'm glad my very first post can be in response to such a great story! That turned out just as I hoped it would. You certainly delivered!

    Looking forward to your next piece of work :)
  11. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Marvelous! Glad to see everything clear between them. And finally the title comes in! That was great. Good angst-resolution. Good mush.

    Liked how subtle they were in explaining themselves there at the end, yet very clear. I laughed aloud when Qui-Gon threw Obi into the pond. Just beautiful!

    Now, who are you? I was pretty sure for a long time, but it seemed too obvious, so I started second-guessing . . .
  12. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Awesome!!! =D= I loved this!!

    ?Look at this leaf, young one. Watch the water droplets on it. They slide along the surface?yet they do not stick to the leaf?they leave no trace of their existence, as they slide off it.?

    Obi-Wan watched, fascinated. He had come across such leaves before, and had always marvelled at their silky texture, and the beautiful rose-tinted flowers that bloomed with a sweet fragrance.

    ?The ideal Jedi is supposed to resemble this leaf, padawan. To feel, yet not let his feelings affect his actions. To know what emotions are, yet to able to deflect their onslaught, and do what is required, in any given situation. To feel, experience?and then release it. Completely, as though it had never occurred in the first place.?


    Excellent job!!! Your portrayal of Obi and Qui are done very well! [face_thinking] I wonder if I know you? ;)
  13. Obi_Kenobi_Devotee Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    I love the way you ended it. The analogy was amazing. You did a marvelous job. Bravo! I love it. =D=
  14. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    ~reads post in a leisurely fashion before she has to go to work~

    ~sighs dreamily~ Oh, Master ithesock, that was simply magnificent. I just want to melt into a pile of warm mush. It made me feel so tingly!

    But I must continue on my, only slightly, mad rant about this wonderful peice of work.

    They way that both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon intereacted was, once again, beyond perfect. It was pure poetry.

    And the way that T'shar (please let me have spelt that right) was portrayed made me very sorry for her.

    And what in the world? Qui talking to Yoda? Gotta love that.

    And Huzzah for Obi getting the aliens to talk to the Jedi! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    But my favorite part was thier little banter at the end! It was wonderful!

    Again, Master ithesock, this story is like fiction royalty, and I really can't wait until you decide to write something else! And I must say, Master ithesock, that I insist you let me know when you do!

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with me!

    Until next time, Master ithesock,
    Yours in all devotion,
    Seven
  15. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ch. 1 - I enjoyed the introduction of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. You present them in my favorite form of characterization.


    Ch. 2 - Yep, definitely like the banter between these two, so easygoing.

    Ch. 3 - Laughed at Qui-Gon's comments about the Bane of Mastership. I think my meal is alive. Ewww!! LOL

    Ch. 4 - Okay, I'm beginning to wonder exactly what Qui-Gon is up to with this seemingly idyllic holiday... why does it worry me?

    Ch. 5 - Hmmm, don't care for Archivist T?shar. rather harsh isn't she?

    Ch.6 - Now I know I don't like the archivist..what did she do to Obi-Wan, brainwash him?

    Ch. 7 - It's a good thing that Qui-Gon can see the problems in Obi-Wan and understand him, having been there himself. I am so glad Qui-Gon got his apprentice out of the temple.

    Ch. 8 - Poor Obi-Wan, so torn by T'shar's ridiculous ideas. Hmph!

    CH. 9 --Loved the use of the line //I will do what I must.// Yikes, that seems a bit extreme.... wonder what will happen next... oh wait I do get to just read on!! LOL

    Ch.10 - a stunning post. Loved the sparring, great descriptions... and the end of the post... ahhh, what wonderfully satisfying mush!!

    Ch. 11 - Great start to this post, because the last one gave me the best warm fuzzies. I liked your look into Qui-Gon and his relationship with the Force... intriguing.

    CH. 12 - ?...why it was that T?shar exerted as much influence as she did, over you.? Hmmm darkside witch perhaps???

    Ch. 13 - Grrr... so did she indeed guide him or brainwash the poor young man. I am as well looking forward to Qui-Gon confronting this..woman!

    CH. 14 - Oh, okay. Qui-Gon is much more forgiving then I'd have been. He was able to get to the heart of the problem and perhaps help T'shar as well as his own padawan. That was superbly written!!

    Bravo for a wonderful story!! ==
  16. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Wonderful ending to a wonderful story

    =D=
  17. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    -Darksaber-...[bows in return] Thank you very very much. :)

    Neo-Paladin...not much chance of fireworks in the last session - am glad it turned out all right, though. Thank you:)

    Shaindl...the mush factor worried me. :) And Xanatos didn't figure at all, except in Qui's taunts, so...

    Thank you. :)

    foxsolo... first response, huh? Welcome to the boards :) - glad you liked the fic. And thanks.

    maychorian...thank you. Yep, I linked the title - it was what I'd been aiming for, and I had to bring it in, because I felt it was needed. As for who I am...don't trouble yourself too much. It's not a big deal, really. I took a sock for the heck of it, there's no other sane or sensible reason (Eh? What?) [face_laugh]

    Kynstar...ah, master follows the paddy :D - welcome. So glad you liked it. [Allow me to condole the loss of Count Dook. He was a great man.]

    Obi_Kenobi_Devotee...thank you so much. :)

    Ah, Seven...you're everything a fanficcer could wish for. Loved your reveiws, even when you were exhausted with hours of work. Am so happy that you devoted as much time as you did - its the best reward any writer could ask for. [bows deeply] Thank you. Fear not - I'll be back soon :)

    Healer_Leona...oooh...you reviewed all the chapters :) Thanks a bunch. :D . >>>You present them in my favorite form of characterization>>> - my pleasure. I see them that way. :)

    Gkilkenny - thank you. :)

    And now...nothing remains but for me to say that I [face_love] you all, for your wonderful reviews, comments...and for patiently following what (I think) was a quirk of my imagination. The past month was a haze of rose-tinted days...mainly because of you.

    I'll be back soon - with another fic I've already named - The Fields of Elysia.

    Until then... :)



  18. meg_an2006 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Beautifully done, and the characters were right on target. Loved the relationship between them. Great job!
  19. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  20. LukesTheMan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    star 3
    Lovely and thoroughly satisfying end! :D

    Bravo! =D=
  21. Artanis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2005
    star 2
    *happy sigh* That was wonderful. Just wonderful. I'm impressed by your ability to tie the whole story together into a perfect ending.

    Your handling of T'Shar was amazing. I do feel sympathy for her - and she seems like a real person.

    My only complaint is that it's over... :)
  22. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Beautiful, moving, and so lovingly crafted. A real masterpiece.

    And I'm positively gleeful that you've got another one coming. [face_dancing]
  23. Kadi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2004
    star 1
    ?Master?!? came an agonized shriek as the water was thrashed wildly. ?Water?s cold?unfair!?

    ?Life is never fair or unfair, padawan mine,? remarked the master tranquilly. ?It merely is.? He had barely finished when a wall of Force-powered water rose at him, and engulfed him in a smothering wave.

    ?Lectures when the sun isn?t even up I will not tolerate.?

    ?Insolent wretch?!?

    That was great! [face_laugh] Wonderful story. :D

    So, when can we expect to see another fic? [face_praying] :D
  24. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Oh my gosh, sockie! I got so behind! But I loved it all! You definitely need to write more, whether under your alias your real name. I shall keep my lips sealed! :D
  25. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    Dearest Master ithesock,

    You truly do me far too much honor.

    I do work, two jobs at that, but one of them is from home, and basically gives me afternoons from 2-4 off, other than serving juice to my datcare kids. Which gives me plenty (maybe too much?) time to roam the boards.

    And you can bet that as soon as I get a wiff of a new story, that I'll be there.

    ~bows~

    Still yours with all devotion,
    Seven
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.