Before Lotus Leaves (Obi/Qui, JA) - *COMPLETE* - 5/27

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ithesock, Apr 27, 2005.

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  1. ari_stormset Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2005
    star 1
    :D KYAAA!!! SOOOOO good!

    I'm usually not a fan of 'before the saga' stuff, but... this stuff's freaking AWESOME!!!

    I [face_love] Qui-Gon!

    You did very well with this, and handled a complex issue in a mature and capable fashion. Good job.

    (chants) Go, sock! Go, sock!

    Peace of the Lord~ Ari.
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Would have posted sooner but I was away and then as I got back on line, I was inundated with RL issues.


    Great job. I loved this story. It was so well thought out and the story just flowed. I thought you got the characters of Obi and Qui down perfectly - not too mushy but caring of each other, in a perfect balance. The reasons why Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon did what they both did made sense. It was quite lovely.

    I especially liked
    Obi-Wan stood still. Qui-Gon?s voice reached him as though from far away. ?I believe his exact words were? 'It is difficult for a child to bear the loss of a parent?but it is far, far worse for a parent, to bear the loss of a child.? ?

    Obi-Wan?s breath caught in his throat; he turned, to feel his chin tilted up?and smiled. ?Still a way from learning the lesson of the leaf, I see,? he said, blinking as he spoke.

    Qui-Gon chuckled. ?It will take a long time,? he said, and paused. ?I?m rather glad of that.?


    Wonderfully done.
  3. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    meg_an2006, PadawanKitara ([face_laugh]), LukesTheMan - thank you for the kind words. Glad you liked it. :)

    Artanis...thank you. It wasn't easy, portraying T'shar as someone who deserves sympathy - it'd have been easier showing her the outright villain, with fangs - I wanted to make her...human. :). Those are the kind of villains that exist in more numbers - the ones who think they're actually doing good.

    LE...Thank you, m'dear. Dancing with glee, are you? :D >>>And I'm positively gleeful that you've got another one coming.>> - You'd be surprised at what my next project's going to be. :)

    Kadi...thanks. You'll get to see it soon - as soon as I've got it all into a word doc. I try to write it all out before I post - but it never happens that way, and I end up writing in instalments. Sigh. :)

    VaderLVR64... [face_laugh] - thanks.

    My devoted Seven...I'm glad you have plenty of time to roam the boards. :) Again, I thank you. Rest assured that you'll know when I post my next. :)

    ari_stormset...ah, new reader! So glad you dropped into the 'Before' Board, and that you love Qui-Gon..welcome to the Qui-Lovers Society :D . Thank you very much.

    dianethx...I knew DRL issues might have been the cause for your absence. Thank you for taking the time to review. Am so glad you liked this. I knew you'd like those last words from Qui. :) Again, thanks so much.

  4. River_Stone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2005
    star 1
    ...reads end of story

    Would you mind at all if we locked you to a computer terminal? That way you can continue to write nuggets of gold such as this one, and we can always have top quality writing to turn to when Darth Real life knocks on the door.

    Excellent, pure and simple. =D=
  5. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    I am tied down to a computer - its just that I can't write fics all the time... :D

    LOL. But I love the sentiment. Thank you. You made my day. :)

  6. kateydidnt Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 4
    Oh oh oh oh oh!

    What a story! WOW.
    Fantastic!
    Wow.

    ....


    ....


    ....

    Wow.

    ....
    ....
    ...


    ...now I am repeating myself.
  7. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    kateydidnt...thank you. Glad you liked it so much. :D
  8. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1

    Hi, I'm sorta new *waves* And I've just spent two days reading this story.

    I must say, this is by far, the best mixture of action and mush I've read in a very long time. The way you write is so mature that I often forgot I was reading fanfiction and not a published novel. Just...fantastic.
    Thank you so much for this wonderful description of the relationship between those two, I found it very believeable, whereas many other fics are far less so.
  9. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Lady_Snow_Kaguya...welcome, welcome - to the boards, and the 'Before' board in particular. :) [throws confetti over her, and hands her cookies] . Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad 'LL' came to life for you - and that it could give you so much pleasure.

    >>>I found it very believeable>>>

    I never did see Master Qui as the royal bucket-head - one who is described a 'great Jedi' simply cannot be so. :) Neither do I see Obi as the perfect, long-suffering saint who sacrifices his all. They're both human - and two of the most endearing men I've ever met in SW. I adore them both. And I write them the way I see them. :)

    Make yourself at home... and need I say that I shall look forward to your feedback, from this day on? :D
  10. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    *nods* certainly. If everything you write is like this, trust me!
  11. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Wow! I just read this whole story today, and its wonderful!

    I really wasn't liking Archivist T'shar, but I felt sorry for her after the explanation. Great job showing the relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Geez, Qui-Gon really had to go to extreme measures to snap Obi-Wan out of his depressive state. Glad he did get out of it though, and realize what he is meant for. Qui-Gon throwing Obi-Wan at the end was great! [face_laugh] Happy ending! :D

    I love the descriptions. Great job! =D= I will be looking for other stories by you!
  12. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Jedi_Tigris...thank you. :) Yep, Qui-Gon had to use extreme measures - entirely in keeping with his reputation, I think.[face_laugh]. Glad that you enjoyed it so much, and hope to hear more from you!
  13. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    *Blinkblink* [face_hypnotized] Snap--out--of--it--okay! I'm better now! No, wait.

    I'm worse! How in the world am I ever supposed to pick up my pencil and write again after...after that? I mean... any efforts that I could hope to make would be redundant after such a beautiful fic. *Dabs at eyes with tissues and tries to actually "review".

    Your mastering of the English language is obvious. Beautiful artistry, flawless wording, vivid description... and every sentence, from the marvelous first to the fantabulous last, was IN-CHARACTER! I'm so proud of you! And the spelling and grammar... Mwah. [:D] Hugs for you, Sockie. Whoever you are, you definately know your stuff. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

    P.S.: We WILL find out who you really are.

    P.S.: ...Or die trying. Whichever comes first. [face_blush]
  14. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Fluff-Slayer: LOL. As it happens, I'm the one who was writing under a...sock. I-er-unmasked in another story. :D

    Wow, thanks for the wonderful review. Feels great to know I did manage Obi and Qui in character - it was a challenge for me to write them. [:D] Again, thanks so much, and keep commenting! :D
  15. forever_jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2002
    star 5
    Just came across and read this great story! Wonderful stuff! The action sequence was as good as Revenge of the Sith! :D And the rest was phenomenal. Especially Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's relationship - and how ultimately, it all came down to that!

    ?Look at this leaf, young one. Watch the water droplets on it. They slide along the surface?yet they do not stick to the leaf?they leave no trace of their existence, as they slide off it.?

    Obi-Wan watched, fascinated. He had come across such leaves before, and had always marvelled at their silky texture, and the beautiful rose-tinted flowers that bloomed with a sweet fragrance.

    ?The ideal Jedi is supposed to resemble this leaf, padawan. To feel, yet not let his feelings affect his actions. To know what emotions are, yet to able to deflect their onslaught, and do what is required, in any given situation. To feel, experience?and then release it. Completely, as though it had never occurred in the first place.?


    Hmmm..... [face_thinking] Lotus leaves - and water droplets sliding off them........ it reminds me of a Sanskrit couplet by Shankaracharya that starts "Ka taba kanta, kaste putrang...", ends with "bhaja govindam" and involves water droplets on lotus leaves. :) It could be purely coincidental, but I AM curious: did you base your interpretation of the Code on this one?
  16. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    forever_jedi wrote:

    Just came across and read this great story! Wonderful stuff! The action sequence was as good as Revenge of the Sith! And the rest was phenomenal. Especially Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's relationship - and how ultimately, it all came down to that!



    Wow, thank you. :) <goes pink> [face_blush] Yes, indeed. Ultimately, it all comes down to that perfect master-disciple relationship, doesn't it? I always see them as having a wonderful connection.


    Hmmm..... Lotus leaves - and water droplets sliding off them........ it reminds me of a Sanskrit couplet by Shankaracharya that starts "Ka taba kanta, kaste putrang...", ends with "bhaja govindam" and involves water droplets on lotus leaves. It could be purely coincidental, but I AM curious: did you base your interpretation of the Code on this one?


    LOL. I did base it on the ancient Hindu philosophy, yes. I'm always told to follow it in my life (and as easy it sounds, it isn't easy to do at all.) On the other hand...I think you've got your Sanskrit couplets mixed.

    The First one ('Ka taba kanta, kaste putrang..') - if I'm not mistaken, is actually different. Its the legend of the poet Kalidasa, who's challenged by his patron to compose a verse using four Sanskrit alphabets. Those alphabets should form some part of the verse - and he did in two seconds flat, or something. The verse is composed in the manner of a conversation with a little girl. I'm not an expert, but from what I know, it goes like this:

    Kaho thum bale? (Who're you, little girl?)

    Kanchanamala. (The girl answers with her name.)

    Kasya puthri? (Whose daughter are you?)

    Kanagalathaya. (The daughter of Kanagalatha.)

    Hasthe kimthe? (What do you hold in your hand?)

    Thali pathram. (A palm-leaf)

    Kava rekha? (And what's written in it?)

    Ka kha ga gha. (The four Sanskrit alphabets).

    There ya go. Its one of my most fave legends. :)

    The second one - 'the 'bhaja Govindam' verse is entirely different. :D.

    But I'm impressed that my piece made you think of them. Loved that. [face_love]

    Thanks again. Looking forward to see more of your comments, of course. :D

  17. forever_jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2002
    star 5
    Hi sock! Thanks for your pompt reply!

    Kalidasa was a cool guy :D but I was not thinking of him!

    Okay, this is part of the Shankaracharya/Bhaja Govindam strota that I was reminded of, reading your story. And of course, I got the order of verses and some words all wrong - it's been a while!

    TEXT 4: naliniidalagata jalamatitaralam, tadvajjiivitamatishayachapalam, viddhi vyaadhyabhimaanagrastam lokam shokahatam cha samastam
    (Uncertain is the life of man as rain drops on a lotus leaf. Know that the whole world remains a prey to disease, ego and grief.)

    TEXT 8: kaate kaantaa kaste putrah, samsaaro.ayamatiiva vichitrah, kasya tvam kah kuta aayaatah
    tattvam chintaya tadiha bhraatah
    (Who is your wife? Who is your son? Strange is this samsara. Of whom are you? Where have you come from? Brother, ponder over these truths.)

    TEXT 34:bhajagovindam bhajagovindam, govindam bhajamuudhamate, naamasmaranaadanyamupaayam, nahi pashyaamo bhavatarane.


    I have to confess that the emphasis on "attachment" and not being able to "let go" that is a theme of Star Wars, and especially of Revenge of the Sith - had set me thinking recently very much of this entire philosophy. Your story reminded me of the balance between affection and love, and not letting those feelings completely take over. Anyhow, great job! :)

    EDIT: Obi-Wan?s breath caught in his throat; he turned, to feel his chin tilted up?and smiled. ?Still a way from learning the lesson of the leaf, I see,? he said, blinking as he spoke.

    I completely agree that the lesson of the leaf is a VERY difficult, if not impossible one, to learn!
  18. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    LOL. I guess I saw the first few opening words and jumped to the conclusion that it must have been Kalidasa - I was mistaken. Guess I got mixed up. [I love the guy's works anyway. :)]

    But oh, those verses brought back memories... :D

    I have to confess that the emphasis on "attachment" and not being able to "let go" that is a theme of Star Wars, and especially of Revenge of the Sith - had set me thinking recently very much of this entire philosophy. Your story reminded me of the balance between affection and love, and not letting those feelings completely take over. Anyhow, great job!


    Thank you. [face_blush] . It is difficult to just go on doing one's duty, and 'let go'...but its also a case of doing your duty so perfectly that with time, it becomes easier and easier. That's why compassion is insisted on, I think - when one loves all life - it becomes easier to 'let go' of individual beings.

    I suspect Obi-Wan really did achieve this - as did Qui-Gon. :)

    I completely agree that the lesson of the leaf is a VERY difficult, if not impossible one, to learn!


    Couldn't have put it better myself.

    Think of the ultimate rewards on achievement, though. :D
  19. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    This is a little short of a reply for such a detailed comparison of philosophies of the Force, but the point about compassion when using the Force is so important. Very well thought out. And I agree with one reply...evil Vulcon-woman, indeed. Fascinating.
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