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Love is grand. Divorce is a !&*@(

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Souderwan, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. Everton

    Everton Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2003
    My parents invented marriage.
     
  2. Ramza

    Ramza Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2008
    My parents may or may not be divorced because the average is close to 50% and this reliance on personal anecdotes is hilarious.
     
  3. LAJ_FETT

    LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Lucasfilm Ltd Mod star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    May 25, 2002
    Edit - OK that was weird. I only posted it once...
     
  4. Jabba-wocky

    Jabba-wocky Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    May 4, 2003
    Marriage is evil because once I asked a girl out and she rejected me even though I found her physically attractive.
     
  5. jacktherack

    jacktherack Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2008
    hey you know what they say, you can be single and be miserable or be married and wish you were never born...

    anyway my parents divorced in 2006 when i was 15. 1 of my brothers was already living on his own and the other was going to college. now my oldest brother who is 29 got married in 2004 and had a baby in 2006 and divorced when she was 2. anyway i don't really mind i still get to see my dad 3 times a week. and on the weekends i go over to his house. (which i am at right now.)

    it's just life, and they say that 50% percent of marriages these days end up in divorces. till death doth thou part indeed. :p
     
  6. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    It's been interesting to see people's reactions as they learn about it. Almost universally, people seem to be both happy and sad for me. My closest friends, who knew how I was feeling or at least sensed it, have mostly leaned more to the happy than the sad, but almost everyone understands that this isn't "good". "Best", maybe. But definitely not "good".

    We're all doing pretty well, for those interested and I really appreciate reading the stories you are all sharing. Silly, unsolicited advice aside (wouldn't be the JCC without it), it's been good to have anecdotal evidence that things can work out in the end.

    I do want to share a thought about long marriages. I felt an enormous amount of personal pressure to make my marriage work. My grandparents were married over 50 yrs before they died within 2-3 yrs of each other and my entire family romanticized that marriage as proof that you you just have stick it out.

    But my grandfather was an alcoholic and my grandmother made him sleep in the outside room as often as he slept in the same room with him. And the more I thought back on their relationship, the more I wondered if they stayed together because they wanted to. Why is it admirable to have a long marriage if one or both of you is unhappy? I think that's what it boils down to for me. No, we're not beating each other, nor was there a traumatic event with one of us walking in on the other in bed with someone else. It's just that happiness is not an unreasonable goal in life. You can't fake it. And even if you could, I just don't think that you should.

     
  7. Eeth-my-Koth

    Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    May 25, 2001
    I'll say that I was surprised how sexually forward SLG became toward you.
     
  8. s65horsey

    s65horsey Otter-loving Former EUC Mod star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Does this mean you're back on the market?

    If so...

    How you doin'? [face_batting]

    Erm I mean, good luck in all of this and I know you're a great dad which is going to be the most important part in the months to come.
     
  9. Koohii

    Koohii Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 30, 2003
    "And how do you respond to the fact that since the Justice League started, 95% of marriages end in Death or Divorce?"

    Um, how else would they end? If both partners died at the same time, I guess. Gotta love that Justice League cartoon...
     
  10. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    lol. I was also surprised at how racist she was once she found out I was blacker than she thought I was.

    [hr]

    And yes, Lisa. I suppose that's what it would mean officially. :p
     
  11. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    same
     
  12. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    I must agree with you. The longer a couple is together it seems the more the pressure, though we often put it on ourselves. Stupid people.
     
  13. wannasee

    wannasee Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2007
    I am disappointed by the lack of details provided in this thread.
     
  14. ApolloSmileGirl

    ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Knight star 8

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2004
    I feel truly sorry for you, if that's your line of thinking. Relationships can be complicated, and yes, things fall apart in some people's relationships. However, if you're not even going to try, what's the point in living life, claiming that you're doing it to the fullest of your expectations?

    In Brian's case, this has been a looooong time coming, but just because his marriage didn't end up working in the long run, doesn't mean he should ever be discouraged at starting a fresh one with someone else it has potential to work with.
     
  15. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    I'll bite. What details are you looking for?
     
  16. wannasee

    wannasee Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2007
    List the ways in which your wife has disappointed you.
     
  17. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Haha. No.
     
  18. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Malleus Maleficarum star 8 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Well, the least you can do... rather harmlessly... is list the many ways you disappointed your wife...
     
  19. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Oh. Well that I can do.

     
  20. ApolloSmileGirl

    ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Knight star 8

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Oh please, Plymouth Rock fell on you, and you know it. :p
     
  21. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SfC Part IV Commissioner star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    I would have dealt better with my parents separation (and subsequent divorce) if they hadn't split on the night of my 18th birthday.


    [hl=purple]Los Angeles Lakers: Drama, guaranteed. [/hl]
     
  22. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Wow. Seriously? Sounds like they'd been waiting for years for you to turn to that magical age when suddenly all of adulthood crystallizes and you can handle everything. They couldn't wait one minute after that.

    That's tough, dude. Sorry.

    Of course, years from now my son might be on some message board (assuming they still exist) saying "I'd have dealt with it better if the jerks hadn't [insert how I'm screwing this up here]."

    I'll just say that I suspect that no matter how much it sucked your parents probably desperately tried to make it suck less. At least I'd like to believe that anyway.
     
  23. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Malleus Maleficarum star 8 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Was there a clause along the lines of, "We may get back together, someday, if you spend the rest of your life at Walmart"?

    I'm just trying to connect the 2 major struggles of your life...
     
  24. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SfC Part IV Commissioner star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    Thanks, Brian. There's really nothing that they did/can do to have made that suck less. Yeah, obviously I came to grips with the divorce & such, but that pain for me is still there (I mean on my birthday, really?). And no MyKe, there is no such clause. :p
     
  25. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    I am so sorry, Brian. I hope and pray that things improve for you, your soon to be ex-wife, and your son.