Love is grand. Divorce is a !&*@(

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Souderwan, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. Everton Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2003
    star 10
    My parents invented marriage.
  2. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 6
    My parents may or may not be divorced because the average is close to 50% and this reliance on personal anecdotes is hilarious.
  3. LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Games Mod

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2002
    star 8
    Edit - OK that was weird. I only posted it once...
  4. Jabba-wocky Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2003
    star 8
    Marriage is evil because once I asked a girl out and she rejected me even though I found her physically attractive.
  5. jacktherack Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2008
    star 4
    hey you know what they say, you can be single and be miserable or be married and wish you were never born...

    anyway my parents divorced in 2006 when i was 15. 1 of my brothers was already living on his own and the other was going to college. now my oldest brother who is 29 got married in 2004 and had a baby in 2006 and divorced when she was 2. anyway i don't really mind i still get to see my dad 3 times a week. and on the weekends i go over to his house. (which i am at right now.)

    it's just life, and they say that 50% percent of marriages these days end up in divorces. till death doth thou part indeed. :p
  6. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    It's been interesting to see people's reactions as they learn about it. Almost universally, people seem to be both happy and sad for me. My closest friends, who knew how I was feeling or at least sensed it, have mostly leaned more to the happy than the sad, but almost everyone understands that this isn't "good". "Best", maybe. But definitely not "good".

    We're all doing pretty well, for those interested and I really appreciate reading the stories you are all sharing. Silly, unsolicited advice aside (wouldn't be the JCC without it), it's been good to have anecdotal evidence that things can work out in the end.

    I do want to share a thought about long marriages. I felt an enormous amount of personal pressure to make my marriage work. My grandparents were married over 50 yrs before they died within 2-3 yrs of each other and my entire family romanticized that marriage as proof that you you just have stick it out.

    But my grandfather was an alcoholic and my grandmother made him sleep in the outside room as often as he slept in the same room with him. And the more I thought back on their relationship, the more I wondered if they stayed together because they wanted to. Why is it admirable to have a long marriage if one or both of you is unhappy? I think that's what it boils down to for me. No, we're not beating each other, nor was there a traumatic event with one of us walking in on the other in bed with someone else. It's just that happiness is not an unreasonable goal in life. You can't fake it. And even if you could, I just don't think that you should.

  7. Eeth-my-Koth Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
    I'll say that I was surprised how sexually forward SLG became toward you.
  8. s65horsey Otter-loving Former EUC Mod

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2006
    star 7
    Does this mean you're back on the market?

    If so...

    How you doin'? [face_batting]

    Erm I mean, good luck in all of this and I know you're a great dad which is going to be the most important part in the months to come.
  9. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    "And how do you respond to the fact that since the Justice League started, 95% of marriages end in Death or Divorce?"

    Um, how else would they end? If both partners died at the same time, I guess. Gotta love that Justice League cartoon...
  10. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    lol. I was also surprised at how racist she was once she found out I was blacker than she thought I was.


    And yes, Lisa. I suppose that's what it would mean officially. :p/>
  11. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 6
    same
  12. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I must agree with you. The longer a couple is together it seems the more the pressure, though we often put it on ourselves. Stupid people.
  13. wannasee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2007
    star 4
    I am disappointed by the lack of details provided in this thread.
  14. ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2004
    star 8
    I feel truly sorry for you, if that's your line of thinking. Relationships can be complicated, and yes, things fall apart in some people's relationships. However, if you're not even going to try, what's the point in living life, claiming that you're doing it to the fullest of your expectations?

    In Brian's case, this has been a looooong time coming, but just because his marriage didn't end up working in the long run, doesn't mean he should ever be discouraged at starting a fresh one with someone else it has potential to work with.
  15. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    I'll bite. What details are you looking for?
  16. wannasee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2007
    star 4
    List the ways in which your wife has disappointed you.
  17. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
  18. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    Well, the least you can do... rather harmlessly... is list the many ways you disappointed your wife...
  19. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Oh. Well that I can do.

  20. ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2004
    star 8
    Oh please, Plymouth Rock fell on you, and you know it. :p
  21. DarthTunick SfC Commish on an "All-Star" break

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 10
    I would have dealt better with my parents separation (and subsequent divorce) if they hadn't split on the night of my 18th birthday.


    Los Angeles Lakers: Drama, guaranteed.
  22. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Wow. Seriously? Sounds like they'd been waiting for years for you to turn to that magical age when suddenly all of adulthood crystallizes and you can handle everything. They couldn't wait one minute after that.

    That's tough, dude. Sorry.

    Of course, years from now my son might be on some message board (assuming they still exist) saying "I'd have dealt with it better if the jerks hadn't [insert how I'm screwing this up here]."

    I'll just say that I suspect that no matter how much it sucked your parents probably desperately tried to make it suck less. At least I'd like to believe that anyway.
  23. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    Was there a clause along the lines of, "We may get back together, someday, if you spend the rest of your life at Walmart"?

    I'm just trying to connect the 2 major struggles of your life...
  24. DarthTunick SfC Commish on an "All-Star" break

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 10
    Thanks, Brian. There's really nothing that they did/can do to have made that suck less. Yeah, obviously I came to grips with the divorce & such, but that pain for me is still there (I mean on my birthday, really?). And no MyKe, there is no such clause. :p
  25. Obi-Zahn Kenobi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 1999
    star 7
    I am so sorry, Brian. I hope and pray that things improve for you, your soon to be ex-wife, and your son.