Before - Legends Luminous Beings - Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon, Dec 14, 2004.

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  1. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 2
    First viggie, and I'm not sure how good it is. I was on a caffeine rush when I wrote it and it has not been beta read. So, here goes...


    Luminous Beings

    ?Can you ever forgive me, Master??

    Qui-Gon turned away from his apprentice, unable to meet the need in those eyes.

    ?I?? the Master hesitated, knowing how his words might wound the young man standing in the doorway. ?I don?t know,? he finally said quietly. He shifted, once more looking at him.

    Obi-Wan?s shoulders slumped, his dejection clear in every line of his body. He nodded acceptance of his Master?s answer. ?I understand, Master.? He turned to go, unable to hold in his grief and unwilling to display it in front of the man whom he had wronged.

    ?But I will try, my Padawan, I will try,? Qui-Gon?s voice made him stop in his tracks.

    ?Thank you, Master, I can ask no more of you than that,? the boy?s words were quietly spoken and then he walked away.

    Qui-Gon stared after his apprentice, wondering what would become of them. The betrayal he had felt when Obi-Wan had turned his back on the Order, on him had been a physical pain. He still felt the sting of it in his gut.

    And so, while he longed to ease the boy?s fears, to rush to him and tell him that all was forgiven, he stayed where he was. It would be unfair to both of them to make a promise he wasn?t sure he could keep, merely to placate him with empty words that would come back to haunt them both.

    He dropped easily to his knees and closed his eyes.

    Right now he longed for the peace that only the Force could give him. He dipped into the warm currents that were there for him, that had always surrounded him. To him, the Living Force was a friend, a lover, a part of him. It was ever changing and utterly constant.

    Qui-Gon breathed deeply, the turmoil of his thoughts gradually drifting into nothingness as he let the Force cradle him. He let go of his burdens, his troubled musings, and allowed the Force to lead him where it willed.

    As always, the journey was unexpected, but somehow the destination was exactly where he needed to go.

    He felt lighter with each passing moment, until it was as if he was completely separated from his body. Luminous beings are we, Master Yoda?s voice called softly to him.

    Luminous?

    His mind grasped onto that thought, as a ship will find anchor in an ocean. Swaying there on the waters that surrounded him, he let that single word echo in his mind.

    The light was the center of a Jedi?s life.

    The light revealed the truth, and the obstacles which might keep one from it. The light was both a guide and a companion.

    Qui-Gon sensed the faint tug of the anchor calling his attention, asking him to see what had been revealed.

    He felt the slight tension that had been building within him suddenly ease.

    The anchor was the truth.

    The light loved Obi-Wan, he was the light. He was the luminous center of Qui-Gon?s life, no matter what might have occurred between them.

    Once again, the Force had given him his answer.

    He had only to trust in the Light, in the Living Force, and he would find his way safely back to the shores upon which he had built a life with Obi-Wan. Forgiveness, he could see now, was a choice.

    He could choose to nurture the injury that Obi-Wan had given him. Or he could choose to heal it, to let it fade away and become so distant to him that it did not exist, even in his memory.

    With a sigh of surrender, he let go of the anchor, its purpose had been served.

    Slowly and gently he felt himself carried along the currents, coming ever closer to the shore that beckoned him.

    The journey would take time.

    But he could see Obi-Wan standing there, waiting for him. The boy would remain in that place, keeping a patient vigil for his Master.

    The destination was fixed now, the journey only needed to be completed. Qui-Gon drifted away toward the light that was Obi-Wan.
  2. Layren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwww that was beautiful. The characterization here of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan is right on target. Qui-Gon *was* very reluctant to take him back and I can't say that I blame him for that. Excellent vig and Congrats on your noms!

  3. Jedikma Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    I enjoyed this. :)


    I think you did a nice job capturing a very spiritual nature of the Force and also how healthy it is to forgive.

    He could choose to nurture the injury that Obi-Wan had given him. Or he could choose to heal it, to let it fade away and become so distant to him that it did not exist, even in his memory.

    With a sigh of surrender, he let go of the anchor, its purpose had been served.

    Slowly and gently he felt himself carried along the currents, coming ever closer to the shore that beckoned him.

    The journey would take time.


    I especially enjoyed this passage. Yes, sometimes it takes time.

    Wonderful! :)

    ~Jedikma :)

  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Beautiful!

    He had only to trust in the Light, in the Living Force, and he would find his way safely back to the shores upon which he had built a life with Obi-Wan. Forgiveness, he could see now, was a choice.

    He could choose to nurture the injury that Obi-Wan had given him. Or he could choose to heal it, to let it fade away and become so distant to him that it did not exist, even in his memory.

    With a sigh of surrender, he let go of the anchor, its purpose had been served.

    Slowly and gently he felt himself carried along the currents, coming ever closer to the shore that beckoned him.

    The journey would take time.

    But he could see Obi-Wan standing there, waiting for him. The boy would remain in that place, keeping a patient vigil for his Master.

    The destination was fixed now, the journey only needed to be completed. Qui-Gon drifted away toward the light that was Obi-Wan.


    Lovely work! That was my favorite part.
  5. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Very nice. I love to hear Obi decribed as being filled with Light. [face_love]
  6. VadersMistress Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    Very nice! My mom sent me over here to take a look and she was right. Great work!
  7. AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 2
    oh, that was very sweet. Great job with both of them and with the depiction of the Force. Very nice work!
  8. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Lovely descriptions, how Qui-Gon wanted to ease Obi-Wan's ,but new better then to voice hollow promises. And the imagery of his meditating, how he trusted in the Force to provide him answers. Truly delightful.
  9. LilQui-Gon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Very nice. I love it. :)
  10. Kynstar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh that was great! And so touching! [face_love] ahhh loved it!! Great work there with the characterizations!
  11. Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2004
    star 1
    Beautifully done~

    Your characterization of Qui-Gon was excellent. I can really see him thinking this way and trusting in the Force to help him.

    Great job.
  12. Odd-Thomas Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2004
    star 1
    Very nice viggie. Great characterization of Qui-Gon. And the Force was portrayed very nicely as well.
  13. MistiWhitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2004
    star 3
    Pretty. :) Nice job.

    Keep writing! :)
  14. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    The light loved Obi-Wan, he was the light. He was the luminous center of Qui-Gon?s life, no matter what might have occurred between them.

    Once again, the Force had given him his answer.

    He had only to trust in the Light, in the Living Force, and he would find his way safely back to the shores upon which he had built a life with Obi-Wan. Forgiveness, he could see now, was a choice.


    I loved the portrayal of Qui-Gon here and how hard it was to let go and forgive after being hurt - how he wanted to calm Obi-Wan's fears, but needed to heal at the same time.

    Very nicely written!
  15. LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    star 3
    Great job! It makes sense that Qui-Gon would seek the Force to guide him in making his decision. And he is very wise to recognize that forgiveness is a choice. Great vignette.
  16. Gina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    This was a beautiful vignette.

    He had only to trust in the Light, in the Living Force, and he would find his way safely back to the shores upon which he had built a life with Obi-Wan. Forgiveness, he could see now, was a choice.

    He could choose to nurture the injury that Obi-Wan had given him. Or he could choose to heal it, to let it fade away and become so distant to him that it did not exist, even in his memory.

    With a sigh of surrender, he let go of the anchor, its purpose had been served.


    I especially liked this part.

  17. kateydidnt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 4
    Fantastic work. Will there be more? Very well done.
  18. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
  19. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was just gorgeous. ;)
  20. AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    Very nice work, Broken. I'm sorry, your username just cracks me up! [face_laugh]
  21. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    How did I miss this until now? :confused:

    I loved this piece. Your imagery was beautiful and I too thought the characterization of Qui-Gon was excellent.

    I won't quote favorites because it is too hard to pick just a few lines.

    =D= Bravo! =D=

    KD
  22. Jedi-Tiger-Lilly Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2005
    star 1
    That was beautiful! The imagery was almost magical. I could picture the scene so clearly.
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