Title: Seeking the Past: Diary of Otis the Goat Author: S_Heffley Fandom: Rick Riordan, Magnus Chase Genre: Humor Notes: For the Dear Diary Challenge I’m Otis. Okay, that was a sucky and cliché way to start out. But that was, quite honestly, the best I could come up with. Would you have preferred something more original, like “Yo what’s up my loyal fanboys it’s your main man Otis here,”? That would have been better come to think of it, but have you ever tried writing with hooves? It’s not worth the effort to change. That line may have confused you. “Hooves?” you ask. Well I can explain simply. I am a talking goat. While that may sound strange, it’s actually quite normal where I come from. My brother, Marvin, is also a talking goat. “Where do you come from?” you find yourself asking. Well aren’t you just so full of questions! Funny thing is, I can’t say the exact place I’m originally from. It’s a symptom of my depression, memory loss. But I can say where I live now, and that’s in Jotunheim. “Why would you live in the home of the giants?” you wonder. Wow, I’m impressed with your knowledge. Believe me, I would leave if I could, but Thor needs me while he keeps the giants in check. Not like I’m his cool sidekick or anything, but he kills me and Marvin every night to keep himself fed. But don’t worry, I come back every morning good as new! “Why does a god need to eat?” is your next question. I have no idea. Stop it with the questions. Also, I’m glad your first question was why a god needed to eat and not whether I was okay every time I came back or not. It’s fine, I’m very used to being ignored. Now, if you’ve read Magnus Chase’s first account of his adventures, you already know all this. In fact, I even played a sweet role in his second account, but that doesn’t matter right now. Not like you care anyway, I’m just a talking meal. My therapist says that’s why I’m so down all the time, but I don’t know. I think it goes way back to when I was a kid. And yes I’ve used that line before, which you would know if you read Magnus Chase’s book. But it’s strange. In his book he has a dash put at the end of my second sentence, like somehow his friend Sam had cut me off when she began speaking. But the thing is, that’s the whole sentence. Now that I think about it though, Sam did start speaking a bit too quickly after I finished speaking. What a surprise. No one cares about me or my feelings. I know my depression goes way back to when I was a kid, but I don’t remember what happened to cause it. One of my life goals is to figure out this mystery. If only I could break away from Thor and go on some crazy detective adventure (another one of my life goals). I’m going to ask my therapist about what to do at my appointment tomorrow, but I don’t have high hopes. He’s not a very good therapist, or come to think of it maybe I’m just a special patient (and not special in a good way). For now, and probably for the foreseeable parts of my immortal future, I’m stuck as the talking mutton-chop.