Making-Teenage Qui-Gon's journal (with Yoda,Dooku,Tahl and others...)-moved, link inside

A Warning:
I am terrible,terrible,terrible at finishing fanfics. I have dozens of incompleted ones. I should really have told this plot bunny 'NO!' and run off-but I didn't. I really,really,really want to make this fic enjoyable,to read and to write-and I really hope I'll be able to. Okay?

Making


7th day,8th month,standard year 24933

My Master died today.

Master Karshan. We knew each other for exactly five months. The day-maybe it was two days,I can't remember-before my thirteenth birthday,I was called to the Council chambers and told Master Karshan wanted to take me as a Padawan. And I couldn't quite believe it,because all through that day I'd got everything wrong,it was one of those terrible days (everyone has one occaisionally,I have one about three times a week)-and Dilan had been laughing at me and making snide comments all day,and Clee actually giggled at one of the things he said,and I was angry with her,and she was trying to apologize all day (I forgave her later)-and then I got told that my dream was coming true,and I wouldn't be sent off to become a farmer after all.
Not that there's anything wrong with farming,I wouldn't have minded all that much if it hadn't have meant leaving all my friends behind-but anyway.

And now he's dead.

It was only our third mission. I can't even remember the name of the planet-it began with an A. Avino. That's it. I can't remember a lot of it,I suppose my mind's just determined not to think about it. I remember I was scared,really scared. There was fighting. People who had some powerful weapons that they'd stolen from somewhere. There was a child. I know there was-but I can't work out who he is. And a woman. She was very pretty. There was a fight-I was somewhere else-I was helping the injured people,along with a another woman whose name I can't remember-and I was panicking,she was yelling something about traitors,I thought he'd die-and I was right. Because I left the the woman on her own to pick up bodies-I know it was stupid and disobedient,but I had to do something!-and I tried to find him,I could help,and they were in another area,and Master used the Force to block the enterance so I couldn't get in-I was in a lot of danger anyway,someone came up behind me as I was standing there panicking and they would've killed me. I killed them. At least I think I did. I'm not sure. He might have just got knocked out.

But anyway,then I knew Master was dead-we had a link,it wasn't all that strong,since we hadn't been together all that long-but the link was cut,and then the next thing I remember,as well as people talking worriedly and apologizing and things-is waking up in the Healers,back at the Jedi Temple. Yoda was there.

There's a clock by my bed,and I just looked at it. Actually,now it's yesterday that my Master died. How long have I been here? I wonder if Yoda knows I'm awake? Him and another person I don't know the name of are just in the corridor,outside the open door,and they're not looking inside,so they probably don't know I can hear them. Something about a training bond. "Still
linked,were they,when Master Karshan died."

Oh. So they're talking about me.

"That won't be good for him." the other voice said. "Is he having trouble recollecting what happened? It can have that
effect..."

"Believe so,the Healers do. Perhaps that is best."

They're not talking anymore. Oh,wait...

"Need a new Master,the boy will."

And they've shut up again...oh,hang on...

"Possibly...skilled,you say?"

"Very much so,he is."

"What else?"

"Clever,he is. Quiet,and often withdrawn,but not friendless. Kind. And very much attuned to the Living Force,he is."

"He sounds promising."

"Taught him for a while,I did. He is very promising. Unpredictable,too,he is. A good match would you make."

"I will certainly consider it."

"Speak to the boy in the morning,I will. Rest he needs. Goodnight,Padawan."

"Goodnight,Maste

 

Aww, poor Qui. Interested to see where you'll take this, FOW!

Shaindl

 

Shaindl -thanks for replying! Here's the next bit.


A/N: Yes,I invented the surname Wildstar for Tahl. Well,it's never mentioned in the books.

Making


8th day,8th month,standard year 24933

It's morning. The lights have been on for a few minutes now. I can hear people getting up. The Temple never sleeps.

Yoda and that man are coming to speak to me today. What am I going to tell them? What are they going to tell me?

I want to see my friends. Tahl, Clee, Binn, Mace, Somti...where is everyone? They might be worried,news will have reached them by now...Tahl especially,and she always seems to get terrifically worried at the slightest thing.

Hang on,I know why she isn't up here making a fuss-it's because she's expecting to be chosen by a Master. Before me and my Master left for Avino,she smiled and said by the time she got back,she would be a Padawan too, and I couldn't boss her around any more.

Why am I in the Healer's anyway? I'm fine. Well,technically. There's a bruise on my arm and a few scratches,but apart from that,I don't see why they're keeping me here.

Is there something I don't know about?

Hang on,I recognize that yell. Tahl's here.

*****

She's gone now. I was glad to talk to her. I was right,she was worried. And Yoda and well...let's start at the beginning.


First,Tahl practically ran into my room, leaned over me and grabbed my hand.

"I'm alive." I said.

"Thank the stars! I was terrified. Don't you ever,ever do that to me again,Qui-Gon!"

"I won't." I said.

"What happened?" she said. (She always talks fast,but today she was talking faster than usual.)

"I'm fine." I said. "I don't know why they're keeping me here. And my Master...is dead."

She let go of my hand,and then suddenly grabbed it again.

"Dead?"

"Yes." I said. I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick. She noticed.

"I'm so sorry." she said. She looked guilty,and I realised why-while I had lost a Master,she had gained one.

"Tahl-were you chosen?"

"Yes." she said,nodding and blushing. "Master Thea."

"I knew she'd choose you! I knew it'd be her!"

"Yes,she's been so nice...just think,soon I'll have a braid-" she reached out a hand and flicked mine "and be going on missions..." She stopped aruptly right there. "Oh,I'm so sorry,I said that without thinking.."

"It's all right." I said. "You don't have to refrain from saying the word 'mission' around me."

She didn't really answer,but moved closer to me. "Do you want to talk?"

"Sort of." I said. "I...I can't remember a lot about what happened. Most of it seems like a blur."

"There's something important you want to tell me." she interupted. "Tell me. I won't have you bottling things up until you burst."

(I'm really glad she's my friend. Really,really glad. )


"I heard Yoda talking with someone." I said. "They want to assign me to a new Master."

She frowned. "So soon? That seems a bit..."

"I'm sure there's something I'm not being told." I said. "It's a funny feeling,and it won't go away."

"Well," she said. "Maybe..." Then she stopped,hearing the unmistakeable sound of Yoda coming down the corridor.

"Oh,banthas," she muttered.

"You're not supposed to be here,are you?"

"No,not really. Master Thea had me practising katas in the gym...I sort of sneaked away..."

"She'll be disappointed." I said. "A Master who just chose a Padawan doesn't expect her to go running off without asking permission."

She scowled. "Thanks a lot. Like you wouldn't do the same. If you weren't in a hospital bed,Qui-Gon,I'd hit you."

And then,Yoda and the man I'd heard last night chose that moment to walk in. Tahl gave a sort of nervous grin at them.

"Padawan Wildstar." the man said smoothly "I believe your Master is wondering where you are."

"Yes." Tahl stammered,rising to her feet. "She will be.See you later,Qui." She hurried out of the room.

I looked at the man. He was tall. His face was nice,but I couldn't read his eyes. He wasn't really

 

Page seven. Bah.

 

Hows about I give you an up? Caught your link on the Qui-gon thread and decided to check it out. Don't stop now.

Oh, yeah. I lurk alot.

 

SECRETSISTER-thanks for the up!

note to anyone still reading-I just edited the dates in today. Thanks to Jane for helping.

Making


10th day,8th month,standard year 24933

Where should I start?

Yesterday I was let out of the Healer's. I spent most of the day with Tahl, Clee and the others, telling them everything that had happened. Right at the end,Clee gasped and said:

"That means...he...he died so you could live! He..."

We were sort of all silent then, because it was true, and I felt like being sick all of a sudden...being sick again...because it was true, if he hadn't wanted to save me, he wouldn't have died.

Why did he try to save me? He could've waited! I would have saved him! He didn't have to die!

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE!

Yoda would whack me hard if he saw what I just wrote. I know,I know anger is the path to the Darkside. But...he died.

He died because of me.

I want to put down this journal and cry, but...well...another part of me wants to just keep on writing. And I also don't want to cry because I'm writing this in the star-map room, and people keep coming in and out (Master Cilia just walked past and smiled at me. She was one of my teachers when I was seven, and she knew Master Karshan.) So I couldn't cry, because someone would see.

Anyway, after Clee made her comment on my story, everyone went incredibly quiet...I think it was because we'd been told, all the time, about Knights dying to save others, Masters dying so their apprentice wouldn't be put in danger...but this was the first time it had actually, well, happened to us.

To me.

But,anyway,I am now offically Master Dooku's apprentice. He took me to the Council, and they gave their approval. Tahl said I should be happy, because practically the split second I didn't have a Master another one grabbed me straightaway. It was said to cheer me up, but it didn't really.

Well, that's it. I'll be back to taking classes tomorrow, and before long, being sent out on missions with my new Master.

Tahl's probably looking for me...better go...

*****

11th day,8th month,standard year 24933

I'm living with my Master in his quarters now. They moved me here this morning. I have a new home. But what happened to the old one? Master Karshan's area? Did they give it to someone else? I really wish they'd let me stay there, I liked it...but then I suppose Master Dooku would've had to leave his own home to be with me, and I don't think he'd have liked that.

In the afternoon,I have lightsabre class. I'm glad it's that and not anything else, because lightsabre class is the only one I'm really any good at.

*****

It's evening. Actually, it's night and I really should be sleeping, but something happened today-

I went to lightsabre class, and Dilan and his friends were waiting for me. And as I walked past him, Dilan said loudly. "Better stay away from him. He might drag us down to the Darkside too." And I tried to ignore them, but they kept looking over at me and smirking all day, and I didn't eant to tell anyone, because...I'm not sure...because the Darkside's taken so seriously and maybe...maybe...well, after Dilan said something loudly about future traitors to the Jedi, Yoda gave him a sharp look and then looked at me, and I just couldn't read that look and...

I'd never turn to the Darkside, though. I'm sure Yoda would tell me not to worry, that it was just stupid comments made by a bully. But I can't stop thinking about it. You see...

I have never told anyone this, not even Tahl. I'm afraid of writing it down in case someone finds it. But when I was little, only about six or seven, there was a teacher here who was very skilled at foresight. She died ages ago...when I was eight, I think. Her name was Master Ololian, and once she spoke to me. I was in the Room Of A Thousand Fountains. I can't remember what I was doing in there, but she came to speak to me. She sort of looked at me,except her eyes were closed...we had quite a long c

 

...up?

 

*listens to the crickets churp?*

Is this rubbish?

 

Wow. Sarah, this is excellent. Honestly. I adore the way you've captured young Qui-Gon, it's perfect and despite my reluctance to take on another fic to read, I will definitely be following this one A very enjoying read.

 

No, F_O_W it is not rubbish. It's stuff that makes us think. Stories should do that. Excellent read. Keep going.

 

Sorry!

See comments on my thread and you'll know why I haven't been replying.

This is really good, FOW! I especially liked this line and the foreshadowing in it: she said something like "The Darkside will follow you like a shadow,child. From now till the day you die!" .

Excellent work - and if you ever want a beta, let me know!

Shaindl

 

Alrighty then, I love it!! I've been wanting to read about Qui-Gon, I followed the link over here from the Qui appreciation thread.

Before I start, I want to say there's another great story here:
Jedi, I am
about Yoda, when he was a Padawan.

And also, everybody should read the story in my sig, and the story that comes before it!

Let's dive in:

My Master died today.
Ouch. I understand that. It's extremly difficult. Such a bond there is...

...I wouldn't be sent off to become a farmer after all.
I like how you brought that in. I enjoy the JA series, even though I've only read up to number 8. 5 and 6 are the best, though.

Very interesting the journal writting form. It let's us see into his mind. Carful writting of this can be very good. So far, so good.

...Mace...
Good continuity.

I remember I was scared,really scared.
Fear leads to the Darkside...

Can it?
Yep.

No, no, not rubbish at all! I really love this. Keep it up!!!

 

No way, this is awesome!! I love how you are setting up the story, the beginning was very good and quite emotional. I'm liking this a lot, you are doing very good with this. I'm especially liking Tahl, and the last name you gave her "WildStar" Great job, hoping for an update soon.

 

Wild_Huntress-Thanks!

SECRETSISTER-Makes us think? Thanks.

Shaindl-Thanks, I liked that line as well.

JacenHornSolo-thanks! And thanks for the PM as well. Here's the next bit for you.

Jess-Thanks! Here's your update.



Making


*****

12th day,8th month,standard year 24933

I can't believe what they did.

I asked Master Dooku when the funeral for Master Karshan would be held. It was a long time before I got my answer. He looked at me in that way adults do when they're telling you they've done something that you'll hate but you're too young to understand anyway, and said "It was held the day after his death, Qui-Gon. While you were in the Healers."

"But that means...I never got to say goodbye." I said, and had to blink several times, because I didn't want him to see me crying. He might think I can't keep a tight enough hold on my emotions and throw me out, or something.

But I didn't get to say goodbye.

Straight after that I ran to find Tahl. I asked if she knew anything about the funeral, and she said no, and then I found everyone else and asked them too, and they all said no.

I don't get it. It's like they're trying to make me forget Master Karshan as soon as possible.

*****

I went to meditation class...I don't like meditation class very much. Because Dilan is in it, and none of my friends are. So I'm left to put up with him on my own. I can't stand him. The second I walked in I saw him whispering to someone else, and they were all giggling. Dilan knows something I don't. I can tell, he keeps looking at me and smirking. If Tahl had been there, she'd have had a few choice words to say to him, but she wasn't. So I had to try and meditiate while wondering-panicking about-what this incredibly amusing secret of mine was. Because I don't know.

I didn't do very well in class.

Afterwards, I found everyone in the Room Of A Thousand Fountains, and we started talking about Dilan.

"If anyone should be thrown out, he should!" Clee said. She was swimming. She likes swimming a lot. She wasn't actually paying a lot of attention to us, because her Mon Calamari friend Nela was there, and they were in the pool together.

"I don't like him." That was Mace. Mace is the youngest. He's three years younger than me. Binn and Somti are his best friends, they're the ones who stand up for him all the time -although he's pretty good at standing up for himself. Tahl looked the most annoyed. She really, really...dislikes Dilan and his friends. I bet Master Thea has words with her about the things she says about him, which are rude as well as incredibly entertaining.


Actually, guess what! Tahl's going on her first mission soon! She sounded really excited about it. It's an easy mission, since Tahl hasn't been a Padawan very long, but the way she talks about it you'd think they were going to some place overrun with murderers, droid armies, bottomless pits, and the like. She likes adventure. Did I mention she's got a Padawan braid now? She looks nice.

And speaking of Padawan braids...when I got back to Master's quarters from the Thousand Fountains room, Master Dooku was waiting, and he told me there was something important concerning my Padawanship that we hadn't done yet. He told me to kneel, and he kneeled too, and then he unbraided my braid- you see, when the Padawan has been with the Master for a few days at least, the Master braids some of his own hair into the Padawan braid. So Master Dooku took out Master Karshan's hair-he gave it back to me, I put it into this tiny box my mother gave me-and then he braided some of his own hair in. So that's it. I am his apprentice till I reach my Knighthood, unless one of us should die or leave the Order.

Anyway, the sun's setting. Bedtime.

*****

 

Yeah!!! Loving this story!!

Let's see here...

Darnit! It's a shame I know Dooku is/will become evil!!
He might have even been a good master.

I forgot to mention something last time. So I'll say now. (No D'uh right? )
I really love how you call it the 'Healers.' I don't think I would have thought of that. Great job!

Dilan
I'm guessing he's the bully, right?

Mace is the youngest. He's three years younger than me.
Did you say how old Qui was?

Did I mention she's got a Padawan braid now? She looks nice.
Oh Qui-Gon, you sly dewback, you.

Master Dooku braided some of his own hair into my padawan braid.
Did Dooku used to have long hair? I can see it know hippie style Dooku! (Get yours today! )

I am his apprentice till I reach my Knighthood, unless one of us should die or leave the Order.
Uh-oh, do I sense forboding?...

Anyway, the sun's setting. Bedtime.
Ouch, what a early bedtime!

Keep up the great work!

EDIT: Did they burn Master Karshan's body?

 

Thanks Jacen!

<<I really love how you call it the 'Healers.' I don't think I would have thought of that. Great job!>>

I can't take credit for the name Healers, though, because it's in a lot of fics. (Is that what you meant? oh well)

<<I'm guessing he's the bully, right?>>

Yep. Annoying little brat, isn't he?

<<Did you say how old Qui was?>>

He's thirteen.

<<Did they burn Master Karshan's body?>>

Yes, it's just that Qui didn't get to see it.

<<Keep up the great work!>>




I'll have the next part up tomorrow, or maybe later today.

 

Up

 

You are doing really great, Sarah, you really are. I haven't seen too many young-Qui fics around. Even though Obi isn't in this fic ( ) I still love reading about my 2nd favorite character. Anyway, as I was saying, this is great, but I'm not really liking Dooku now. Kinda creepy if you ask me Great job, again.

 

Jess-thanks. BTW-who says Obi's not going to be in it at all?

Anyway...

Making

1st day,9th month,standard year 24933

Guess what!

I'm going to see my parents.

I don't know why. None of the others have seen their parents in ages. Normally, when you're a Padawan, you don't get to see them at all, not until Knighthood. When Dilan heard me talking about it, he snickered and said 'They just want you out. Don't think they're letting you go because they feel generous." I tried to ignore him. I'm seeing my parents.

I remember hardly anything about them. I don't even remember at which age I was taken to the Temple-three, I think. Maybe four. I know the planet I was born on is called Toci, and that my parents have always lived there. We're allowed to know a little about our families, after all. I remember Toci was-is-very beautiful. I remember my mother was very beautiful too, and my father, the last time I visited my parents (years and years ago. I was only seven or something) hugged me when it was time to leave again. I had a brother. I don't even remember his name. Strange, isn't it, to have almost exactly the same blood as another being and yet not know their name? But I will soon.

I just asked Master Dooku when we were leaving, and he frowned. "This is not a good idea." he said. "I don't agree with it. To
answer your question, you should be packing your things now. We're leaving tomorrow."

I'm not taking much. Only this journal, and changes of clothes, and things I've been given from my parents. There's a little music box from my mother. It plays a Toci tune-it's beautiful. I used to listen to it at nights, then I decided I was getting too old for that. I still like it, though. And then there's a toy. Exactly what it's supposed to be I'm not sure. I think it's a mini-podracer. I think my dad made it. I don't know for certain, but I get the feeling he wasn't much good at making toys. I'd rather have that toy, though, then a expensive, modern, state-of-the-art real-life podracer. I would.

Then there's the last thing. It's a ring. Yoda told me that when I was taken, my parents gave me the ring. My father slid it off his finger and my mother slipped it onto mine. And then Yoda went off with me. Yoda was the one who found me. He did the midi-chlorian test and everything. The ring is beautiful, like Toci is itself. It's got a little green stone in it, and it glitters in the light.I'm not allowed to wear it,because Jedi aren't allowed to wear jewerelly,but I keep it in my pocket wherever I go.

I'd better start actually packing now.

*****

2nd day,9th month,standard year 24933

We're here!

This is amazing. It's like tons of memories came flooding back into my head. There's books, and paintings- there's one of a boy in a field and I just know that used to be in my room. I'm in my room now. My mother told me this was it. It's right at the top of the house, which is far bigger than I imagined. You can see the view from it-it's lovely. There's so much green- and a river. The river of light, it's called.

My parents...when they greeted me, they looked so happy and yet so sad. I know why, it's because they don't want me to go back.

They're talking with Master now, but I can't hear most of what they're staying. Just stuff about the Jedi, I think.

My brother's here as well. He's three years older than me-sixteen. I know his name now. His name is Rek-Gon, and he's even taller than me. His hair's nearly the same colour, but his eyes are lighter, and they're friendly. He greeted me with a 'Hey,
squirt,' and I liked him a lot in that one moment.

I hugged him, and he laughed. He's downstairs now, but he said he'd be coming to talk to me soon. He wants to hear about all the adventures I've had.

I like him. I like them all.

*****

I told him everything notable I could think of. I told him about Masters and Padawans, I explained braids and lightsabres- I even showed him mine-and I told him about my friends 'Lucky squ

 

Up.

 

Wonderful! I will continue to read this until the end!

I'm glad he got to go back home for a moment. A little break.

So is he going to continue his training with Master Dooku, or possibly a mission?...

I can't write much now, 'cause I got school. But I'll be back at the next post.

Keep it up!

 

Oh, Obi may be in this a little? [face_anticipation] Great job with this post, Sarah! Good thing he is going home. Poor Qui, been through so much. I really like this, and will be expecting a post really soon. Can't write much, have soccer practice soon, but I will be back later.

 

Today's post is a bit short, but Jess might like it.

Thanks for reviewing, everyone!

Making

******
2nd day,9th month,standard year 24933

Well, I said that I didn't want to leave, and I really still don't want to.

I heard Mum crying just now, and talking to Dad. I suppose they thought everyone else was asleep, but I wasn't and I heard them.

"Your hear all these stories." she was crying, "about parents who give up their children to the Jedi, and the next they hear of them is a short message saying they're dead. And I know I'm- going to have to let him go back, Ag-Len,and I..I don't want to. Not again."

I feel awful. I never want to cause pain to anyone.

It's really hot. The temperature is nice during the day, but not during the night.

What shall I do? Because it's like a dream here. Everything is so perfect. And I know that it can't really be so wonderful, but...it is my home planet, after all. It's like...I belong here. But I belong with the Jedi as well. And my family loves me, but so do my friends. And I love them both.

I'm not going to get any sleep here.

If I did stay, I would leave behind my friends, and betray the Jedi. Well, sort of. You are actually allowed to leave if you desire that. But it's considered a betrayal by your peers, if not by the Council.

I'll never be able to sleep. I'll leave a note saying where I've gone and go out for a walk.

******

3rd day,9th month,standard year 24933

Afternoon. Tomorrow morning we're leaving.

I'll tell you about what happened on my walk, shall I? It was dark and nearing midnight so I took a glow rod and went out. I went down to the river and sat there for ages. Or course I should go back, I am going to go back- but did I really want to?
And what if I didn't go back? While I was thinking that, I reached into the water and my hand hit something. It was a rock.

I'd never seen a rock like it before. It was beautiful. And as I turned it over and over in my hands, I realised someone was behind me. I turned around and saw a man standing there.

He was old, with whitening hair. His hood was up, so I couldn't see much of his face, really only his eyes, which were very blue.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
He was someone I could talk to, I knew that right away. "I have to make a hard decision." I said, "and I'm not sure what to
do."
He looked at the rock I held in my hand. "I once had a rock like that. My father gave it to me, and I gave it to my...my own
son. Those rocks are special things. It will help you with the choice you have to make."
He put his hand on my shoulder, and I said "Thank you."
"Thank you,too." he said, and walked away.
I think he vanished, because when I turned around he wasn't there. I felt scared and sad at the same time, and then I went back to the house.

Which is where I am now.

Rek took me to his room a few minutes ago and searched in a cupboard for something. He eventually pulled out a ring, one exactly
like mine, except the stone was brown, not green.

"I have one too." he explained. "Thought you might want to see it, before you leave tomorrow."

I grinned. "Thanks." I said.

"Hold on a minute." he said, and pulled something else out of a drawer. It was a stack of writing paper, all brown, with a green pen. "For you. So you can write to us. Are Jedi allowed to write?"

"Not very often."

"I'll look forward to your letters, anyway."

I caredully packed the present away in my bag. In a few minutes tea will be ready. The last meal I'll have with my family.
(We're leaving before breakfast)

I wonder if Master Dooku thinks I eat to much? I hope not.

*****

BTW, does anyone want to be PMed when I update?

 

Up

 

Oooh. You're right, Sarah. Jess did like this post!

I really enjoyed:

He was old, with whitening hair. His hood was up, so I couldn't see much of his face, really only his eyes, which were very blue.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
He was someone I could talk to, I knew that right away. "I have to make a hard decision." I said, "and I'm not sure what to
do."
He looked at the rock I held in my hand. "I once had a rock like that. My father gave it to me, and I gave it to my...my own
son. Those rocks are special things. It will help you with the choice you have to make."
He put his hand on my shoulder, and I said "Thank you."
"Thank you,too." he said, and walked away.
I think he vanished, because when I turned around he wasn't there. I felt scared and sad at the same time, and then I went back to the house.

Do I sense a bit of foreshadowing here? I liked this post a lot. It was very clever of you to include the river stone in story. I am really enjoying this a lot. Oh, BTW, I'll take a PM notification when you update, please.