Beyond - Legends Male Bonding II: What a Tangled Web we Wove (Humor-- featuring Han, Luke, Kyp and Corran.)

Necessities

Title: Male Bonding II: What a Tangled Web we Wove
Author(s): Lady-Hermione
Timeframe: Post Jedi Academy Trilogy
Characters: Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Corran Horn and Kyp Durron
Genre: Humor
Keywords:
Summary: The good guys get more than they bargained for when attempts to invade the Imperial Network lead to a network more appalling than any they've ever seen.
Notes:

More from the Male Bonding Series

Male Bonding
The first story in the series.



Author's Notes

In a change from the warm moments of the first Male Bonding, the second in the series is a satirical exploitation of aspects from our own world. As always, take it with a grain of salt and have an enjoyable read. I'm thrilled to be continuing this series and thank all of my reviewers for encouraging me to turn Male Bonding into more than just one vignette!

Feedback is always most welcome.
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Male Bonding II: What a Tangled Web We Wove



They were gathered around the data terminal, its blue-white light washing over them. Their eyes were wide and their jaws were hung. ?What the he?? He heard one of them breathe. His curiosity was piqued; they must have truly stumbled upon something fascinating for not one of the three even noticed his presence. As two of this party were Jedi, that was truly saying something.

?Find something worthwhile?? Luke finally broke the silence. Three pairs of eyes jumped over to him then darted about to each other as if silently appropriating the collective reaction. They decided on lofty grins. Luke awkwardly grinned back. ?Well?? he prompted. ?Did you find information on the Empire?s developing super weapon??

?Not exactly.? Corran Horn glanced at Han Solo, their sarcastic expressions nearly mirrors of one another. Beside them, Kyp Durron?s dark eyes had again been captivated by whatever wonders the screen beheld. Luke moved in behind them to look at the screen and instantly realized something was wrong.

?What?s that?!? the Jedi Master demanded, gesturing at a rectangular window that occupied the top quarter of the screen. It flashed so brightly and rapidly that he felt sick just looking at it. YOU?RE A WINNER! the banner proclaimed, though it gave no further information than instructing to CLICK HERE NOW! There was most certainly nothing as obtrusive to be found on the Galactic Interactive Network.

?We dunno,? Corran admitted with a frown. ?We clicked it about five times, but all it did is take us to a prompt for credit numbers.?

?I?ve never seen such formatting on the GIN,? Luke mused. The current file was an array of obnoxious colors that clashed and divisions that held pictures and what seemed to be advertisements. A strip of data ran down the middle of the file, but it seemed to be in garbled language that Luke barely understood. He suspected that it was some form of basic but wasn?t quite sure:


Like OMGGGGG, it inexplicably began. This is so kewl, I have a website now!! Ur so kewl 4 bein here!! R/R my fics!! Thay R STARWARS ficcies!!!!


?What is this?? Luke asked, appalled, as a window suddenly materialized of its own accord, declaring vehemently in large text that their database (or computer, as it archaically referred to it) was in grave danger and most likely being attacked by hackers at this very moment.

?While we were trying to hack into the Imperial Network, we stumbled across this strange network instead. See the triple-w heading in the bar? It stands for World Wide Web,? Kyp informed him.

?It only spans one world?? Luke pondered. ?That?s pretty exclusive. What world is it??

?Its not even in this galaxy,? Corran answered, regarding the screen with a mixture of awe and pity. ?Some galaxy called the Milky Way, a planet named Earth.?

Though Luke was not particularly pleased with their veering

 

LOL, that was sooo funny! You did it again!

 

Thanks, puppyglo! Glad to have provided another laugh for you!

 

I loved the punch-line! There is nothing better then inserting a sense of 'fan fiction' into a story. Done it myself and it works a treat if done right. And here, it was done very right.

Is there going to be any more Male Bonding, Lady-Hermione?

 

?Is there anything useful on this Earth?s network??

Pop-up ads/instant messaging/fanfiction... Nope, nothing useful.

Very funny. Looking forward to more of these stories.

 

Yay, another one! I hope you decide to make this a series! A really long series, with many many multiple parts!

Again, I was laughing out loud at this--it was hilarious!

?Hey,? the man defensively raised his hands. ?I don?t know where that author got that from, but me and Wedge are NOTHING but friends! And I am seriously never hugging him again lest anyone think otherwise,?

LOVED that bit! Too funny!

?You could try asking them to speak in normal Basic,? Han suggested with annoyance. ?I know everyone?s got their own interpretation, but I?ve never seen a more obnoxious dialect in my life.?

Actually, I would tend to agree with Han on that one!

Write more of these, please!

 

?Hey,? the man defensively raised his hands. ?I don?t know where that author got that from, but me and Wedge are NOTHING but friends! And I am seriously never hugging him again lest anyone think otherwise,? he finished in a mumble, his cheeks heating with a red flush.

Poor Corran, always getting picked on. Great work, Lady-Hermione! This was a perfect follow up to your first story.

I loved that bit about George Lucas, BTW:

?For his own safety, I best not ever see him in this galaxy again,? Corran hissed. ?I caught that flannelled fool in my own apartment one night, rummaging for data??

?He actually hid in the floorboard of my X-Wing when I did the Death Star run,? Luke added with a shake of his head.

Awesome job! It'll give me something to think about next time I start writing in web lingo.

 

<--is ashen, then busts up laughing.

Awesome!

 

What, no mention of me and my spam ???

still its good, real good.
Only one thing to say.
WOOT!! WOOT!!
[image=http://www.ceruleanstudios.com/images/icons/woot.gif]

 

I loved it! I always wondered when someone would make something like that!

LOVED IT!

 

You had me crackin? UP again.

You are too much! Loved their amazement at the WWW and the instantly shared annoyances that can cross galaxies. Kyp?s enjoyment that he is sexy, typical male. Maybe if they found a Han story, Han would have enjoyed it more. I loved that Luke was still interested. Boys will be Boys. The internet can be addictive.

Lucas being an elusive pain in their... back was fantastic. I?m glad Lucas comes here to share their stories and that you write them.

Thanks for the continuous laugh, tis good for the soul.

 

lmao............

 

That was hilarious!

 

Very clever! I must agree with the guys' assessment of web lingo. It is obnoxious sometimes.

 

LMAO! That was awesome! *runs off to read the other Male Bonding*

 

Mwah! You guys are the greatest.



the_jedi_princess: Thanks so much! That type of satire can indeed be great fun if done correctly-- glad that you think my attempt fits the bill. And yes, there will certainly be more Male Bonding to come.

Jedi-2B: I must agree-- nothing useful to be found here! Looking forward to writing them.

kayladie97: Yes, yes, a really long series! To your whims I cater...

I totally agree with Han, too. Honestly... krazy4NSYNCgurl needs to take English 101.

By the way.. thanks for the nomination!

Lonewolf89: Thanks for your reviews and for the nominations! I blushed to see them, but I was so honored. I'm so glad that you're enjoying.

DarthIshtar: Ashen? It is a bit much to swallow-- perhaps that advisory should instruct taking this story with not a grain but a whole shaker of salt. Thanks for reviewing!

_3MD_PsychoSniper: Love that image! Thanks!

tenelfan14: I'm so glad that you loved it! I have seen a few attempts at similar concepts (not on these boards, but elsewhere) and just had to give my spin to it.

Altaira: If I cracked you up, then I accomplished my goal Yes, Han just didn't like the fact that he was at a Kyp oriented site-- petty male! Luke, of course, knows how to manipulate the system in his favor despite it I'll be sure to send Lucas out for more info-- right now, he's washing the starship.

A-Windsor: An acronym can say a thousand words. Glad that you had fun.

kristeh: Thanks! Glad you liked!

Solo_Fan: Thank you! I think we all agree with the guys-- blast that incoherent web lingo.

Lorax: Thanks!! Glad you enjoyed it; have fun with the other!

 

OMG!!!!!!! That was hilarious!!!!!

Wedge and Corran are good friends. They get even closer. SLASH.


Wondering idly what slash meant, Luke clicked the link. After the first paragraph, he sincerely regretted that he ever found out what slash was and especially that he did so in a story concerning Corran Horn and Wedge Antilles. He glanced at Corran in horror.

?Hey,? the man defensively raised his hands. ?I don?t know where that author got that from, but me and Wedge are NOTHING but friends! And I am seriously never hugging him again lest anyone think otherwise,? he finished in a mumble, his cheeks heating with a red flush.


Kyp Durron is SEXY!!! Click here if U agree!!!!


He glanced about inconspicuously before he clicked, a grin on his chiseled face.


Luke waited a moment after they had left and then pulled himself closer to the keyboard. Reengaging the combination data-and-input screen, he grinned mischievously as he began to type:

<2JediandaSmuggler> So? you think Kyp Durron is sexy? ? Well, what do you think of that Luke Skywalker, eh?

 

(Laughs so hard she passes out)

LOL!!!!!! That was so funny!

And I have to agree, some people take the web lingo waaaaaay to far, it ceases to be the english langauge or should I say "basic"

And pop up ads in star wars (shakes head) sounds like worse invasion then the Vong! lol.

Anyway great job, this was my favorite bit:

Kyp Durron is SEXY!!! Click here if U agree!!!!


He glanced about inconspicuously before he clicked, a grin on his chiseled face.

hehe, obviously Kyp enjoys having his ego fed. Maybe he should go show Jaina that website, point out that everyone else thinks he's sexy, so she should too. Typical male thing to do, lol.

 

Jaina_and_Jag: I just love getting replies where people point out certain parts that they particularly enjoyed! Thanks so much, and I'm so glad that you liked it!


Princess1: Thanks! I agree... popups are the worst nemesis since, well, the devil himself! Yes, maybe Kyp should show Jaina just how many other females find him appealing-- though that may have adverse effects anyway. Poor Kyp-- he just can't win with little miss Jaina. I'm glad that you enjoyed this!

 

LOL! That was priceless. I loved that one too.

 

Jenny!! Jenny, Jenny, Jenny!!! This was brilliant. That is the only word for it! I haven't read anything this funny since Male Bonding I! Hilarious--I got my Mom laughing at the below quotes.

?We clicked it about five times, but all it did is take us to a prompt for credit numbers.?

?It only spans one world?? Luke pondered. ?That?s pretty exclusive. What world is it??

That's exactly how they would respond, too! And the MSN stuff was hilarious! UP!

 

That was great! Love it love it love it!

I loved when they were talking about the fanfiction! Makes us wonder what our characters would do to us... hmmmm...

Another great fic, Lady-Hermione!



EDIT: Typos...

 

THis is just as hilarious as the first one!

 

LOL! Oh gosh, I was laughing so hard...poor Corran...and Lukie wondering what people think of him! :-D Poor little 15 year old that messaged them (Or perhaps poor Kyppie who had to answer )

Loved it!

 

*Tries despretly to stop laughing*

nina