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Beyond - Legends Male Bonding IV: A Liberation of Life (Humor/Adventure-- starring an ensemble of our favorite guys.)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lady-Hermione, Jan 17, 2004.

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  1. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Necessities:

    Title: Male Bonding IV: A Liberation of Life
    Author(s): Lady-Hermione
    Timeframe: A few years before the New Jedi Order
    Characters: Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Chewbacca, Kyp Durron, Corran Horn, Jacen Solo
    Genre: Humor/Adventure
    Keywords:
    Summary: Luke Skywalker assembles a strike team of old friends and allies to infiltrate the stronghold of slaver Wren Talmond.

    Disclaimer: I never use a disclaimer, but this story does invlove an original character. I can't imagine that anyone would, but should you try to steal Mr. Wren Talmond, you will note that there is a "Property of Lady-Hermione" seal branded on his left flank. I'd be glad to loan him out should you be so inclined to elaborate on him, but do ask me first. :)

    Oh yeah. Luke and company aren't mine-- they are property of Lucas and Lucasfilm and Lucasworld and Lucasuniverse and all that is Lucasness. I wish that Luke was mine, but I digress.



    More from the Male Bonding Series:

    Male Bonding
    Male Bonding II: What a Tangled Web we Wove
    Male Bonding III: The Bare Necessities


    Author's Notes:

    In Male Bonding IV: A Liberation of Life, Luke and a handful of our favorite guys share an adventure-- and a few misadventures-- as they work to take down the slave trader Wren Talmond. I realize that this, our fourth installment, has taken me far too long to write. My apologies for those who have so patiently waited! This is the longest installment yet; I hope that the wait was worth it.

    Remember to have a shaker of salt handy, eh? Any Male Bonding story should be taken with a grain or two. :)

    You guys know that I'm a feedback hound. Its like oxygen to me. If you're a lurker-- DON'T BE! We wants your comments, Precious... good or bad!


    Random Fanart Note:

    There are certain scenes in this story that I would die to see someone illustrate. Believe me, you'll see what I mean.


    Without Further Adieu

    Enjoy! :)

    ------------------------------------------------------

    Male Bonding IV: A Liberation of Life



    ?Why did I bring you guys?? Luke Skywalker was quite sure that he had never before assembled a more ill-suited strike team. His gathering was a small group that consisted of his brother-in-law and nephew, Han and Jacen Solo; two of his former Jedi Apprentices, Corran Horn and Kyp Durron; and two trusted friends, Chewbacca the Wookie and Lando Calrissian. At the time of its organization, the group of males had seemed to be a good variety of different strengths and tactics-- a capable force to lead into the stronghold of Wren Talmond?s illegal slave trade.

    As Corran yet again demonstrated to Jacen the most effective way to make a bantha-sounding noise with one?s armpit, however, Luke began to have faltering confidence in his team. He swiveled around in the cockpit?s head chair to frown at the raucously laughing group. ?As sorry as I am to intrude upon your good time,? the Jedi Master dryly intoned, ?we?ll be reaching our destination in one half-hour.? The men shifted their gaze periodically to large cruiser?s front viewshield where the volcanic world of Ballahai was looming into view, a glowing amber sphere against the obsidian of black space.

    ?So this is where Talmond?s crawled out to,? Lando assessed as he reviewed Ballahai?s statistics on the transport?s data terminal. ?The old pirate?? He looked torn between reminiscent fondness and newfound disgust. Lando had been the one to alert the New Republic to the slave trade chain, explaining that he had known Talmond back in ?younger days?. No one asked for further details; Luke could only imagine what entrepreneurial schemes the two may have collaborated in.

    Chewbacca growled something from the copilot?s chair, and Luk
     
  2. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    I got a kick out of Han's Vader impression. Then I was doubled over laughing [face_laugh] when they all dressed as women. [face_laugh] Still laughing.

    ?We can do this the easy way--? Luke warned quietly as he drew near the incredulous man. He twirled his lightsaber for emphasis when he added, ?--or the hard way.? I like this picture of Luke.
     
  3. _3MD_PsychoSniper

    _3MD_PsychoSniper Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2003
    /wets self in laughter
    /falls out of chair and rolls around
    /grasps for keyboardfhgoihbeoijjikstagherihmireiuogijrebreioghirebimdfbioredgiojbvroije



    Yep, its that good


    Edit

    Shoulda had TK there to hear bout Jacen thoguh
    thats always a good setup 4 a laugh
     
  4. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Which scenes for art? For me although typical, Han laying out on the bike and Luke dancing. With your descriptions of the ?girls? I can see all of it already. [face_blush]

    You managed to keep Luke clear headed and serious in the events happening, even while surrounded by the armpit noises and smart comments. [face_laugh]

    I was ripped between the descriptive drama and jokes and ripped my side laughing. Loved Lando knocked out and the Vader imitation. What a motley crew. I?m sure many of them were very hot. I hope someone finds a surveillance camera there. [face_shocked] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] :_|
     
  5. kayladie97

    kayladie97 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2003
    At last! But it was well worth the wait! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I literally could not breathe at Han's imitation of Vader...I had to back away from my computer for a second. And I can just picture Han on the speeder. I wish I could draw! :D :D

    I loved Luke throughout the whole thing...the way he tried to keep those rowdy boys under control, with only minimal success, apparently. I laughed so hard I almost cried when Luke danced. Oh, my word, I guess he hasn't learned as much from Mara as he thought. ;)

    And Lando's utter seriousness with the "Force pill" idea...you kill me, girl! :p

    I would LOVE to be a fly on several walls when certain gentlemen have to start explaining things to no-nonsense women like Mara, Leia, Mirax, and Tendra. :D :D


    And I still haven't forgotten about the Hidden Journal Logs, you know. ;) But I'm not going to put any pressure on you...just know that I'm sitting here...waiting on you...everything else in my life on hold...waiting for some more Hidden Journal Logs....still waiting....hmmm, I guess I should keep on going to work...don't want to get fired....Lady_Hermione, please post SOON!!

    :) [face_mischief] :p
     
  6. The_Good_Twin

    The_Good_Twin Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2003
    LOL
    This is ridiculous! Kyp irately sent. I say we attack them and be done with it!

    Uncle Luke, you can?t dance! Jacen pointed out. We?ll be discovered!

    Told ya you were hot, Corran added.
    [face_laugh] Oh my...

    ...and Lando was hit by the lightsaber.. [face_laugh] [face_devil]

    ...and that is soooo typical Kyp!! :mad:

    anyway

    Great post!! :D

    :D :D :D

     
  7. Jaina_and_Jag

    Jaina_and_Jag Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 19, 2003
    [face_laugh] Another mission successful... at the price of our minds. I could just picture Luke trying to dance! [face_laugh] I feel bad for all that had to endure that punishment! :p
     
  8. GreatOne

    GreatOne Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 22, 2003
    That was funny! I can just picture them dressed up like women! [face_laugh] They might be hot looking men, but they would be really, really UGLY women!! LOL!!

    EDIT- Being such a ladies man in his unmarried days, you'd think Han would know a thing or two about bras! But maybe he just knows how to undo them!! ;) :p
     
  9. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    RebelMom: Glad you enjoyed it! :) I like tough!Lukie too. [face_love]

    _3MD_PsychoSniper: Be careful now! I acn't be held responsible for any injuries sustained while reading this story. [face_laugh] Glad you liked it so much! As for Tenel Ka.... bleh. Sorry man, but I've never gotten into the Solo kids romances... never even read any romance involving them, actually. I wouldn't know where to begin!

    Altaira: Those are exactly the ones! Actually, I hadn't even thought of Han laying out on the speeder being illustrated, but that would be funny! I was thinking of Luke's dance in his pink robes, and all the guys in drag in general! I'd give a hand to see that! [face_laugh] Well maybe not a hand...

    I'm glad you liked the "descriptive drama"-- I do try to weave at least half-serious adventure in with the goofballness. :) Ah, if there were a surveillance camera there, Mara and Leia and the other ladies would have quite a gem to get ahold of for blackmail purposes. :)

    Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoyed!

    kayladie97: LOL. Your reviews are always so enthusiastic that they just crack me up... I love it! Aside from being glad to provide you with your daily dose of laughter, I'm glad that you liked Luke's portrayal! I didn't want him to seem too stiff about things, but he of course had to be the one to keep everyone in line. :)

    Can't you just see Lando concocting a Force pill scheme? [face_laugh]

    I'm working on the Hidden Journal Logs, I am, I am! I shall watch ANH tonight to see if it provides inspiration. I'm working on Threepio, but his prissy self is a challenge!

    As always, so glad to see your review, Mom! [face_laugh]

    The_Good_Twin: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed! :) That Kyp... what ever shall we do with him? And Lando had better be on guard for falling objects next time around... :)

    Jaina_and_Jag: [face_laugh] I wouldn't mind watching it... ;) Thanks for reviewing! :)

    GreatOne: I agree-- as handsome as they are, they just wouldn't make a flattering group of females! [face_laugh] Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it! You're right... Han can probably get one off easy enough, but hooking it on is something entirely different. :)
     
  10. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Is this a shameless up? You betcha. (Is it my fault that no one looks past the first page?...)
     
  11. kayladie97

    kayladie97 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2003
    Hey, daughter! Yes, your stories do provide me with my daily dose of laughter. :)

    So what else do you have planned for the Male Bonding series? Or, hey, what about the ladies? Don't you think that Mara, Leia, Jaina, Mirax and Iella could get into just as much trouble as their guys do?

    Yes, I'm sending you plot bunnies!! [face_devil]

    As far as the HJL's, I'm really looking forward to seeing you do Luke in ESB. [Luke_voice] Oh, crap! My hand![/Luke_voice] [face_laugh]

    Okay, I'll be quiet...for now! :D
     
  12. Calandria

    Calandria Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2003
    *tries to catch her breath, holding her side*

    that... was... hilarious...

    thanks for the laugh... I really needed it :D
     
  13. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Funny story, especially when Luke tried to dance like Mara.

    Keep the fun going. [face_laugh]
     
  14. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    kayladie97: I wish I could say that I was one of those cool people who can plan out an entire series-- or even part of it-- but I'm more of a flash-of-lightning writer. It usually comes to me around 3 AM, when I should be asleep but am up having goofy instant message coversations instead. Insomnia and IM's... my muse devours them. [face_laugh]

    Now I can't very well make a story about girls in the Male Bonding series! It just wouldn't fit in well! Dressing the guys in drag was the best I could do. :)

    And yes... I think ESB and RotJ will be much easier to do with the HJL's... being as I've seen them a million times (opposed to the mere 500,000 viewings of ANH). :)

    Calandria: *passes over an inhaler* Thank you... Glad to give you a laugh! Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

    Jedi-2B: Thanks! Mara's gonna have to give him a few pointers before Luke's next excursion. :)

    In the true spirit of Star Wars, I have every intention of milking this thing to the last drop. [face_laugh]
     
  15. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003

    Hmmmm....

    coughcoughupcoughcough [face_blush]
     
  16. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    I'm just gonna whistle inconspicuously as I push this thing back uphill.
     
  17. J_M_Bulldog

    J_M_Bulldog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 24, 2003
    LOL! Oh, my. Lets see there's the Vader impression, [face_laugh], Han barely hanging onto the bike, [face_laugh], them dressing as girls, [face_laugh] [face_laugh], and then they had to dance [face_laugh]

    Oh, my Mara and Leia are not going to let them live this down.

    :( sad about that poor boy. :mad: Kyp you should have waited. Did you not remember what happen the last time you didn't wait?

    More. Please.
     
  18. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    I'm so glad you enjoyed it, J_M_Bulldog, and thank you for reviewing! I find it interesting that you're the only person who mentioned the little boy that got killed-- I felt awful killing him off, but I wanted to demonstrate the grave consequences that recklessness and arrogance can induce.

    I must admit, I enjoy writing the humor parts far more though... I had way too much of a good time writing Luke's dance scene. [face_laugh] Thanks, and don't worry... there will be more! To your joy and to the dismay of others, perhaps, but its coming, either way. :)
     
  19. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    He had plucked a fallen stick from the ground and was brandishing it like a lightsaber, making slashing motions at Luke?s right wrist. ?Gee, Han,? Luke flatlined. ?No idea.?

    :D I loved this bit!

    ?A bit of roleplaying?? came Han?s amused reply. ?Good call. After all, we both remember how well our performances as stormtroopers went.?

    And this was SO Han!

    ?Oh yes,? Kyp attributed dryly as he shook the skirt of his gown. His lightsaber had been hidden under the flowy, pastel fabric. ?I just feel so noble at the moment.?

    *snickers*

    ?The boss has always had unique tastes,? Luke heard one of the guards comment as he filed in behind the others, ?but that is the ugliest group of women that I?ve ever seen.?

    [face_laugh]

    *falls off chair*

    What an...interesting...bit of work. :D My favorite of the Male Bonding series has to be the one with the internet though...hilarious!
     
  20. tenelfan14

    tenelfan14 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 19, 2003
    this has to be my favorite story of the series yet! [face_laugh]

    Corran teaching jacen the armpit thing was such a guy thing. [face_laugh]

    loved it!!!
     
  21. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    This...is...PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  22. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    That was funny! I can just picture them dressed up like women! They might be hot looking men, but they would be really, really UGLY women!! LOL!!

    Hey, who says Luke wouldn't make a hot chick?

    [image=http://www.markhamill.perm.ru/img/m91.jpg]

    Just trim those eyebrows.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  23. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Bellyup: "Interesting"? [face_laugh] Thanks, I think! I have to admit, out of all of them, I did have the most fun writing the internet one! Its just so easy to make fun of the world wide web. [face_laugh]

    Glad to see your review, as always. :)

    tenelfan14: Glad to give you a new favorite! [face_love] Yes, guys do love making noises with various body parts, don't they? Men. ;)

    Thanks for reviewing! :)

    ThePariah: [face_laugh] I do love that enthusiasm. I'm glad you got such a kick out of it! [face_love] And yes... that is an awfully feminine looking picture of Luke! A few touches of makeup, an eyebrow trim as you said, and some faux flowing locks and it wouldn't be too hard to fool people. ;)
     
  24. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Aye. ;)

    Han, on the other hand...

    Scaaaaaaaaaaaary.


    [face_laugh]
     
  25. Suzuki_Akira

    Suzuki_Akira Jedi Master star 7

    Registered:
    May 13, 2003
    Ridiculously good. Uppage.
     
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