Man Bites Dog - the zany headline game - game has a winner

Discussion in 'Archive: Census and Games' started by Jag4Me, Oct 5, 2008.

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  1. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    These are the best yet - my side hurts from laughing!! You guys are naturals and should send in your
    "stories" to the Enquirer!


    Here are the standings:
    1. fancyrats 240 points
    2. BaSSil 245 points
    3. JediVegeta 275 points
    4. C1-J2 235 points
    5. DarthAnakin101 270 points
    6. JediGunship 230 points


    DarthAnakin101 - no worries. We are not going to be overly strict because I was out for so many days. [:D]

    Next cards are going to be PM'd right now!!
    Can't wait to see what you guys come up with next!
  2. DarthAnakin101 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2005
    star 2
    This one's up extra early!

    Nurse Strikes Angel, Burns Tycoon


    A nurse shark in the Pacific struck an oil rig owned by the Angel corporation. Tycoon billionaire Rex Andrews attempted to catch the shark to punish it, but got "burned" when the shark escaped the trap and got the bait anyway.
  3. fancyrats Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2008
    star 1
    Broadway Dog Defends Jewels!
    Luckily, a famous Broadway star thought to keep a trained watchdog in her dressing room during the show. While she was on stage, two armed men attempted to steal $25,000 worth of fine necklaces. The dog surprised and cornered the men in the room and barked until help arrived.
    10+10+5+25=50;
    240+50=290 total
  4. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    65 points + 270 = 335 points WTG!

    fancyrats - Love it! The story bits are so much fun! I'm thrilled you guys started adding that part in! =D=
  5. C1-J2 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2007
    star 3
    Exclusive! Shoots Thousands Blames Mob Boss

    2(10+5+10+25)=100

    235+100=335

    Exclusive! Incorporated takes thousands of pictures during the first annual "Save the Criminals" fundraiser. These pictures were not published in the New York Times as promised however. They say that their reasoning is that an anonymous mob boss does not wish any pictures of him or any members of his mob published. They say he's camera shy. From what we have been told, all negatives are being destroyed at this very moment to protect the mob boss' ego. Isn't it wonderful how such diverse groups of people can get along peacefully to find a resolution?

    [Insert Picture Here]

    The mob boss (right) is showing the Exclusive! Inc. (left) his gun to help come to a peaceful resolution.


    Okay hope my Exclusive! counts, I was trying to think of a different way of using it. Also I'm going to be gone all weekend, so there is a chance I might be a bit late on the next one.
  6. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 8
    Blonde Czar Bites Doctor Vaccine

    10+5+25+25+10=75
    230+75=305

    After being turned away for a flu shot, a blond czar bit the man known as "Doctor Vaccine", named so for his willingness to vaccinate people who cannot afford the cost of the vaccine and his kindness around the community. According to reports, the czar was angry that the Doctor had just run out of vaccine on the last patient, so she decided to bite him in order to persuade him to give her a shot. The doctor was able to sedate her using another shot, allowing time for police to arrive and arrest her for assault.
  7. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    It's very creative! =D=

    No worries, you should be just fine on the timing. Hope you have a great weekend. [:D]

    Gunny - nice work! WTG getting 5 pretty tough words to work well together.=D=
  8. JediVegeta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 2000
    star 4
    I dunno....


    NEW STAR HERO SUES DEVOTED
    10 + 10 + 10 + 5 + 20 = 55
    275 + 55 = 330


    Kobayashi Hero, the handsome, fashionable, and rising lead new singer of the band "Evil of Anime", has filed a lawsuit against the girl band "DEVOTED". He claimed that Soseki (the lead guitarist of "DEVOTED"), after he broke up with her, gathered her girl posse and threw a rocks at his new car and then proceeded to slash the tires with their nail files...somehow.

    Soseki denies this and claims her band is innocent and did nothing more than protect themselves. When asked more about this latter comment, Soseki replied with the statement: "Hero is insane and remember to buy "DEVOTED's newest song: 'I'M GONNA GET YOU' out November 18th".



    Yeah, nothing much to play with regarding that last one. Hope it is acceptable.
  9. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    SINGER TRICKS TOURIST TOT

    10+10+5+25=50
    245+50=295


    It was like taking candy from a baby.
  10. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    These are all great! I will update scores and send out new cards later today!
    You guys are so entertaining!! =D=
  11. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    Here are the standings:
    1. fancyrats 290 points
    2. BaSSil 295 points
    3. JediVegeta 330 points
    4. C1-J2 335 points
    5. DarthAnakin101 335 points
    6. JediGunship 305 points


    =D=
    Next cards are going out right now! Get those headlines in before the deadline on noon Tuesday! Go![face_good_luck]
  12. JediVegeta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 2000
    star 4
    ACTOR BURNS BITES BIZARRE TOT
    5 + 10 + 10 + 50 + 25 = 100

    330+100= 430

    (Taken from the 1968 edition): Actor George Burns was in the supermarket one day when attacked by a baby! The tot supposedly attempted to shoot Burns with his bb-gun and take his wallet, but the actor was too fast for the bizarre tot who had tattoos all over his tiny bald head and was a member of the Yakuza, the Japanese mafia! Burns dove at the baby and proceeded to lay the beat down on him. After an epic 12 second fight (according to witnesses at the market who work for us), Burns bit the tot on the arm, causing it to yell out in pain and then head butt Burns. The Tot escaped still armed with his bb-gun. If seen, do not approach and DO NOT call the police. Call us instead.



  13. fancyrats Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2008
    star 1
    Jealous Star Blames Blonde Secretary!
    When a famous actress' boyfriend breaks up with her without warning, she bitterly takes it out on his pretty secretary, who she claims spent all her time flirting with him instead of working.

    10+10+5+25+10=60
    290+60=350
  14. DarthAnakin101 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2005
    star 2
    Rare Urologist Runs Off With Angry Cop

    10+50+50+5+10= 125+335= 460

    Sandy Cheeky, the world's only known jellyfish urologist, gave up her work to elope with Tom Furious, a New York City cop notorious for his angry management issues. When asked why, Cheky said, "I needed a break. All tha jellyfish pee was making me stink. I needed to get a man while a could." Furious said, "Get that camera away from me!" and proceeded to give the cameraman a black eye.
  15. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    ^^ Jellyfish urologist??

    PMSL!![face_laugh]
  16. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 8
    Mystery Revealed: Romantic Hero Dead!

    305+115=420

    Cupid, the symbol of love for hundreds of years, has been found dead in his New York penthouse yesterday morning. With no good leads, detectives suspect that the killer was fed up with Cupid's bow and arrow and toga, so they killed him so that he wouldn't keep shooting people with love arrows.
  17. C1-J2 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2007
    star 3
    First Lady Wife Weds Girl Lawyer

    25+10+5+5+10=55

    335+55=390

    Wife, the first lady of the primitive caveman civilization in Western Europe, got married to the well known singer Girl Lawyer at 12:00pm today. Girl is best known for his latest record breaking single "*Grunt* *gurgle* *Grunt* *Point*" Though nearly as hard to understand as her husband's song lyrics, Wife was translated as to having said, "I'm ready to move into the new stone hut next week and *Gargle* *Grunt*."

    Dang that was a hard round!
  18. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    I'll add up to the other round later, but the boards have been down all day and last night so I'm going to get this in while I can.

    BROADWAY EXEC JEWELS INDICTED

    10 + 5 + 25 + 25 = 65


    He stole the show and the Playbills.
  19. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    Some of those were really difficult! WTG! =D=

    I'll update the scores and send out new cards after my rehearsal this evening. :D
  20. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    The standings:
    1. fancyrats 350 points
    2. BaSSil 360 points
    3. JediVegeta 430 points
    4. C1-J2 390 points
    5. DarthAnakin101 460 points
    6. JediGunship 420 points


    Next cards are going out now! We could have a winner this round![face_good_luck] =D=


  21. fancyrats Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2008
    star 1
    Indicted Psychic Attacks Crooked Mayor!
    As the psychic stood trial for cheating in the lottery, he suddenly starting shouting out information that helped produce the needed proof in the case against the town's mayor, who was guilty of fraud. The psychic was thanked profusely for his help, but unfortunately, still went to jail for his own crime.
    25+25+10+25+5=90
    350+90=440
  22. BartSimpson-SithLord Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    NUDE BANKER SNUBS MYSTERY HERO

    25 + 25 + 10 + 25 + 10 = 95

    360 + 95 = 455


    Popular Banking Exec Rich Iare, was last seen leaving the site of his lower Manhattan branch when he was accosted by a thief wielding a flamethrower. The man had no qualms about killing and set Mr. Iare on fire. Witnesses report that seconds later a masked vigilante with apparent "super powers" came flying in and quickly defeated what many are calling "The Human Flame". Seeing that Mr. Iare was in trouble, the masked hero used some kind of breath ability to release Mr. Iare not only from the flames but from his clothes as well. The Hero, who many are now calling "Awesomeguy", then flew off before the police arrived. When asked if he was thankful for the assitanced, Mr. Iare replied, "Heavens no. Just what this city needs, a lunatic who goes around disrobing people. Does anyone have any decency anymore?"
  23. DarthAnakin101 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2005
    star 2
    Model Saves Tourist, Bites Broadway

    25+10+25+25+10= 95+460= 555!

    Tony Nails, famous French runway model, rescued a North Carolinian tourist in New York City on Monday. The man was about to fall over a curb, but the runway diva managed to catwalk over fast enough to save him. In doing so, however, she fell on the street sign, literally taking a "bite" out of Broadway.
  24. Jag4Me Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    We could have our winner! Just a few more and we'll see who has the highest score! =D=
  25. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 8
    Intern Nurse Accused, Tells On Dead

    420+90=510
    Not nearly enough. :(

    An intern nurse, working at a local hospital, has been accused of murder of three seperate patients. However, in her defense, she says that the three patients asked for the doctors to kill them, and that she carried out the killings in secret.
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