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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

"Maradusa: Mara Jade Satirized"(Contributions Welcome!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Coota, Nov 20, 2002.

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  1. Coota

    Coota Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2002
    *up* Good stuff, guys; just remember, nothing excessively violent. An unnamed person was trying to convince me that I said no death whatsoever, but I don't think that's true. I think I said no excessive violence. And so far, it seems to be well within the limits prescribed.
     
  2. Sock_of_Darth_Vader

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 24, 2002
    Last post *sniff* I enjoyed this!!

    4. Father...please!
    -----------
    They set off for the garbage masher; first Yoda with his stick, then the Solobabies, then Luke, Leia, Han and Anakin. Luke hugs Leia as they walk along, silently begging forgiveness for his neglect of her. Han cuts in on the other side of Leia and ruffles Luke's hair. They reach the gallery, and sit down on the seats like patrons at a cinema.
    From the other side of the balcony, C-3PO, R2D2 and Chewie walk in.

    Han: Chewie!

    Chewie: RAAAARRRRR!!!(Translation: It would take more than a moon to stop me!)

    Chewie hugs Han, then tries to hug Luke, Leia and the kids all at once.

    Kin: Uncle Chewie!!

    Han: You old fuzzball...Together again, huh?

    Luke and Leia: Wouldn't miss it!

    Chewie: Graaarrgh!

    3PO: Chewbacca, it's so good to see you functional again!

    Artoo: Beeeeep dwwoooo blaart!

    Yoda: Balance returns...

    Everyone settles down again.

    Leia: You know , the smell reminds me of old times...fond memories...

    Luke: I DO NOT have fond memories of that dianoga.

    Leia: It's a bit like your wife...strangling, filthy, disgusting, only good for shooting...

    Jacen: Well, speak of the devil.

    "You're So Vain" magically starts playing. Mara Jade strides with feline grace onto the balcony, her dancer's figure with its astounding (silicon) curves swaying sensuously as she walks. Her red-gold-red-silky-copper-gold reditty-gold hair (tm) blows in a Force enhanced breeze around her beautiful (plastic) face. Her emerald-jade-vivid green eyes flash (she'd had light bulbs installed in a ground-breaking surgery). She holds Ben in her arms, looking like a Madonna and child painting (according to a certian EUthor, a view I consider 'Deluded and Border-line Blasphemous').

    Luke: Ben...Master Yoda...Leia, save me! (Hides behind Leia)

    Anakin: Hang in there, son.

    Yoda: Over this nightmare soon will be.

    Mara: Lukie-pookie! Where are you? I need you to stroke my planet-sized ego! Snookums!

    Luke: Nnneeeh...

    Mara: Leia! I need you to mind my darling Benny-wenny while I look for my 'principal plaything'!

    Jacen : Principal plaything?!?! Uncle Luke, what the Sith-spawned hell...

    Luke (sinks to the floor): Meep meep...

    Jaina: My brain just melted and ran out of my ears.

    Anakin: I don't care that I'm one with the Force, I REALLY need to vomit!

    Mara: Baby-sitting my kid's all you're good for, you Force-weakling! You worthless ugly hag!

    Han draws his blaster.

    Han: Watch your mouth, Ginger!! That's my WIFE you're bad-mouthing!

    Kin: My mom's the best mom in the galaxy! She's worth ten of you, Barbie doll!

    Jacen: Hear, hear!!

    Jaina: Listen to my brother! Whose death you couldn't give a stuff about, even thought he cried over your blasted labour pains!!

    Anakin: My daughter, a Force-weakling? This stops NOW!

    Anakin holds his lightsaber at the ready.

    Yoda: Luke, be brave you must! Defend your sister you should!

    Anakin: You nearly killed me for threatening her on the Death Star! Stand up for her! And yourself!

    Luke takes Leia's hand and leads her forward.

    Luke: Stop insulting my sister! She's a better Jedi than you'll ever be-why I ever made you a Jedi Master, I don't know-and she's not a selfish, whiny, Dark-Side serving WITCH!

    Han: Stop being so mealy-mouthed, kid! Say it like it is!

    Jacen, Kin and Jaina: Go Uncle Luke!

    Yoda: Got his manhood back, your son has.

    Anakin: About time!

    Mara: Lukie! Why are you being so howwible to me! I'm so beautiful and sexy and wonderful...

    Han: Sexy! Ha! You can't hold a glowstick to my Princess! I never liked redheads anyway!

    Luke: You're not beautiful, not without two tons of make-up anyway! I've seen your dressing table! It can hardly take the strain!

    Jaina (to Jacen): If you ever wondered why she needs her own personal ship, now you know! To cart her beauty aids around!

    Kin: My mom's beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, unlike you, you heartless succubus!

    Yoda: Going well, this is!

    Mara: Lukie-wukie! Let me kiss
     
  3. Delight

    Delight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Yoda: The hair! Go for the hair! Destroy the red-goldness(tm) you must!


    LOL! What a sight to see our Jedi Master saying that!

    Wonderful work!
     
  4. Sock_of_Darth_Vader

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 24, 2002
    I have been PM'd and told to remove a certain word starting with s and ending in t which I used to describe the Tang Stain. I have now editted it out, but c'mon! What do you think Han would call someone who had just insulted his wife?!
     
  5. Annbri

    Annbri Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2002
    This thread should never die.
    -affabletoaster
     
  6. Catriona

    Catriona Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Remember this?
     
  7. Sock_of_Darth_Vader

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 24, 2002
    The Immortal Maradusa!





    (and immoral ;))
     
  8. Eagle888

    Eagle888 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 30, 2000
    UPPERS!!!
     
  9. Eagle888

    Eagle888 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 30, 2000
    Up! I love this thread!
     
  10. Eagle888

    Eagle888 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 30, 2000
    Post more please!
     
  11. Sock_of_Darth_Vader

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 24, 2002
    Just upping this [face_devil]
     
  12. Thrawn1786

    Thrawn1786 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 8, 2004
    Up!!!!!! I have an idea for a Ring of the Nibelungs spoof having Mara as Brunnhilde-is it okay if I post it?
     
  13. Coota

    Coota Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2002
    Indeed it is. This thread probably will never die.
     
  14. EmilieDarklighter

    EmilieDarklighter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2002
    This thread is sickening. [Edit]
     
  15. Suzuki_Akira

    Suzuki_Akira Jedi Master star 7

    Registered:
    May 13, 2003
    Wow. Being a Mara fan, I really don't want to laugh...but find it is inevitable...


    Say, can we make one of these for Kyp Durron? [face_hopeful]
     
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