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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends Mara's Little Needle (Mothers Day Challenge Response)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DaenaBenjen42, May 10, 2008.

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  1. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Title: Mara's Little Needle
    Author: DaenaBenjen42
    Characters: Luke, Mara, and a special guest?
    Genre: AU
    Timeframe: Um? New Republic Era
    Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing. Will return them when I'm done. (That could be a while.)
    Notes: Written for the Mothers Day 2008 Challenge. Many thanks to BrightFeather, Jade_eyes, and micky-nikki for the encouragement. :)


    Standing among the trees, she looked on as the fire burned. Mesmerized by the dancing flames and golden embers of the last remnant of so much pain and so much grief, she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

    Contact from behind and she leaned into him, accepting the comfort for what it was. So much pain from hard months in the dark, and so little she wanted to think about, and yet here they were, honoring a life that never started anywhere but inside her, in a moment of passion and love.

    ?Do you think she?d like this?? he asked from beside her.

    She smiled, but didn?t take her eyes off the fire. ?I do... I really hope so.?

    As they lapsed into silence, he pulled her in closer and she reached around and embraced him, giving him the same comfort that he had so willingly bestowed onto her.

    Standing there, she wondered how much she wouldn?t get to experience, how many things she would never get to see her child say or do, or think. How many milestones she would miss, all because she?d been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had ended up in the darkness and the pain.

    As the fire died down, the man and the woman bent down on either side and joined hands over the embers.

    ?We love you, Neesta,? the woman said, as she stared into her husband?s eyes, and let the tears flow. ?Whatever else happens, just know that. We love you. I love you, Little Needle.?

    ?And we will always remember her, Mara. That was the point of this.?

    Mara nodded and broke his gaze to look down at the embers. Here, among the trees, was her child?s grave. Here, where freedom had been won.

    Standing up, they embraced once more and stood for a few moments in rememberance of that which never got to be. And then, the moment passed, and they walked away, hand in hand.

    Unseen beside the pile of embers, a translucent little girl watched them go with a sad smile. ?I love you, too, Momma. For always.?


    Fini
     
  2. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Oh wow, this was beautiful. And sad. *sniffs*
    I really liked it.

    =D=
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Just gorgeous...and so sad. :_|

    As the fire died down, the man and the woman bent down on either side and joined hands over the embers.

    ?We love you, Neesta,? the woman said, as she stared into her husband?s eyes, and let the tears flow. ?Whatever else happens, just know that. We love you. I love you, Little Needle.?

    ?And we will always remember her, Mara. That was the point of this.?

    Mara nodded and broke his gaze to look down at the embers. Here, among the trees, was her child?s grave. Here, where freedom had been won.

    Standing up, they embraced once more and stood for a few moments in rememberance of that which never got to be. And then, the moment passed, and they walked away, hand in hand.

    Unseen beside the pile of embers, a translucent little girl watched them go with a sad smile. ?I love you, too, Momma. For always.?


    =D=
     
  4. Aleria

    Aleria Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2007
    So sad and beautiful. The sense of loss is almost overpowering. And a nice touch making her grave like a shrine for the victory of freedom.
     
  5. DarthBerryStraw

    DarthBerryStraw Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 20, 2007

    Unseen beside the pile of embers, a translucent little girl watched them go with a sad smile. ?I love you, too, Momma. For always.?


    Aww, so sad! You did a very beautiful job with this story. [face_love]
     
  6. path-seeker

    path-seeker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 1, 2008
    You capture so many emotions in this story - it was so beautiful and heartbreaking.

    I like that you didn't use names until the end. It helped to create the scene without getting too caught up in the characters. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it was a nice touch to the story.
     
  7. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    :_|:_|:_|:_|

    That was so heartbreaking!

    But I loved Luke and Mara's good-bye. I just wish they could have seen or heard Neesta.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  8. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Ceillean: Thank you for saying so. :)

    VaderLVR64: Glad you think so. Thank you.

    Aleria: Not just a shrine... Endor. Thank you. :)

    DarthBerryStraw: Thank you.

    path-seeker: It makes perfect sense. Thank you.

    KELIA: I just wish they could have seen or heard Neesta.

    Well... no. Not saying a word. :D Thank you, Kelia.
     
  9. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2002
    :_| That was so sad :_|
     
  10. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    JediFalcon: Yes, it was very sad. Thank you for the review. :)
     
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