Saga Married...With Alien Children/ GWG Comedy Challenge Entry/ Vignette

The following is Part One of my response to the GWG Comedy Challenge. I decided to make it as a SW parody to my favorite TV comedy of all time--Married...With Children. Though I specialize in Action/Drama fics, I really tried to make this as funny as the source material.


MARRIED?WITH ALIEN CHILDREN


A gamorrean, Salmar Drundy, fumbled into Morbo?s shoe store, the place of his employment for the past 20 years. He was two hours late but couldn?t care less about it. Heck, at this point in his life, he wouldn?t have cared if a spaceship crashed through the window and obliterated everyone in the store. In fact, he was actually hoping for it because then the work day would be over. Grunting tiredly, Salmar tossed his jacket behind the register counter, leaving his lunch bag in his free hand.

A voice then called out his name from across the room. It was his fellow employee and best friend, Grof. ?Sal, where the hell have you been? Kevin is outraged you?re late again.?

Salmar scoffed as he reached around and casually scratched at his butt. ?Eh, let him whine some more. It?ll give me something to laugh about when I?m taking a leak in his fuel tank tonight?again.?

Grof shook his head in disagreement. ?Look Sal, I?m not happy that Kevin got promoted to Store Manager either, but he?s gonna can your butt if you don?t start shaping up.?

?Tch, Kevin as manager?how can anyone expect a HUMAN to run a place of alien business. The guy?s only got one ass. ?

Before either of the two friends realized it, the voice of their new manager, Kevin, snuck up on them from behind. ?Well, well, well, if it isn?t Salmar Drundy. I?m glad to see you finally decided to grace us with your presence. I sure hope you have a good excuse for being so late.? Kevin replied snidely.

Relaxed as can be, Salmar picked at his tusks with his tongue while extending his arm with the lunch bag in it. ?I do. I had to catch my lunch.? In the next instance, the bag containing Salmar?s meal whipped back and forth, while vicious snarls sounded from inside it. Acting quickly, Salmar bashed the bag harshly between the credit register and Grof?s head until the food inside finally submitted. ?See.? He replied exhaustedly, earning a shocked look from both Kevin and Grof.

Kevin rolled his eyes in reluctance to Salmar, wishing he could fire him. But then again, it would be hard to find another idiot that would work for half of minimum wage in this quadrant. ?Whatever, just get to work helping the customers or the both of you are outta here!? Kevin then stormed away to do the same thing.

 

Promising start, ZEGO. It seems like the ball is just starting to roll. I'm a fan of the show - I look forward to where you take this.

If Salmar doesn't insult the first customer to walk through the door I'll be sorely disappointed.