Story [Married...With Children] Fire Away - NSWFF Prompt challenge responses, updated 12/1

Title: Fire Away
Author: amidalachick
Notes: Written for the NSWFF Prompt challenge. Title taken from "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar. The "four touchdowns" line is dialogue from Married...With Children and not my own invention.

I've been watching Married...With Children a lot lately, and this silly thing popped into my head when I saw the prompt. I literally wrote it in 20 minutes. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Married...With Children is not mine. I just do this for fun, and much like Al, I make no money off it.

**********
Al sat with his head in his hands, surrounded by women's shoes. Luckily there weren't any customers at the moment.

Suddenly the bell over the door chimed. Al groaned and slowly looked up. His eyes widened.

"Excuse me," the woman, a curvaceous blonde, said breathily. "I'm looking for some...athletic shoes."

"You play sports?" Al asked.

"Oh, yes," the woman said. "I box, and I'm also on a women's volleyball league. Maybe you'd like to come to one of our matches sometime."

"I sure would," Al said.

"Well, I'll get you tickets, then, Mr...." The woman's voice trailed off as she waited for Al to tell her his name.

"Bundy," he said. "Al Bundy. Former football player at Polk High, where I once scored four touchdowns in a single game."

"All in one game?" The woman gave him an admiring look.

"Oh, yeah," Al said. He smiled proudly and flexed his arm muscles.

"Excuse me!" a woman's voice snapped. "Can I get some service here, or what?"

"Huh?" Al looked up, startled. There was no athletic blonde woman. Instead there was a very grumpy-looking older woman glaring impatiently at him. He grimaced as he realized he must have dozed off and been dreaming. He sighed, got up, and said grimly, "Hit me with your best shot."

 

LOL! What a letdown for Al

 

I love it! So very Al And it's basically the story of his life

 

Nyota's Heart: He just can't catch a break!

Mira_Jade: I have no idea why the prompt sparked this, but I'm glad it did, LOL!

NYCitygurl: I know! He just never wins, LOL!

Thank you all for reading!

 

Title: Round, Round We Go
Notes: Written for the NSWFF Prompt Challenge, prompt 6 - "We meet again." Just another little flash-fiction piece. Title is from the song of the same name, "Round, Round We Go" by Trooper.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, I'm just playing.

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"Hey, babe," Bud said. "What do you say to you, me, and some lovin' tonight?"

"Gross," the cute redhead said.

Bud frowned. He'd been standing outside the mall for forty-five minutes, trying to find a date. He had a feeling it would be another Saturday night at home.

Just then he spotted a friendly-looking brunette.

"How's it going?" he said.

"Do I know you?" the girl asked.

"No, but I'd like to get to know you." Bud folded his arms and tried to look cool.

"Uh, I don't think so," the girl said, and hurried away.

Bud sighed. It was hopeless.

"Bud?" a familiar voice called. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh..." Bud looked around for an escape route, then shrugged. "Just hanging out."

"Well, I'm glad I ran into you, honey," Peg said. She shoved a couple of bags at him. "Here, help me carry some of these, would you? I just need to get a few more things."

Bud reluctantly followed. It was times like these that he truly believed in the Bundy curse.

 

Bud sure knows how to make a dazzling first impression.

 

Oh, poor Bud

 

Thanks for reading, Nyota's Heart, Mira_Jade, and NYCitygurl!

Title: Daddy's Little Girl
Notes: Another MWC flash-fiction snippet for the NSWFF Prompt Challenge, prompt 11 - Three times a lady. Inspiration and some dialogue, including the word 'trollop', was taken from the slumber-party scene in episode 3.16, "The House That Peg Lost". Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, I'm just playing.

**********

"He's my boyfriend!"

"No, he's not!"

"Trollop!"

"Harpy!"

"Groucho!"

"What?"

"Duh. Groucho. You know, Harpy and Groucho Marx?"

"That's Harpo."

"Well, you're a fatso!"

*****

Kelly leaned forward with an eager smile as she finished her story with a triumphant, "And then she pulled my hair, and I punched her twice, and it turned out Billy saw the whole thing and said he likes when girls fight over him, so he wants to go out with both of us tomorrow night."

Al and Peg looked at Kelly, then at each other.

"So this Billy likes fighting, huh?" Al finally said. "I'd like to meet him. Bring him by the house tomorrow, pumpkin."

He cracked his knuckles and chuckled.

 

I love Al What a great dad response!

 

LOL Fun! response and use of the prompt. Kelly's probably thinking - oops, maybe I shouldn't have told that story just that way.

 

Mira_Jade: I like that line, too, LOL!

NYCitygurl: That's one of the things I like about the Bundys - they care about it each other underneath it all...they just never, ever want to admit it, LOL!

Nyota's Heart: Yeah, she probably wishes she hadn't said anything.

Thank you all for reading these silly little drabbles!

No title for this one, but it's for the prompt Bothered, Bewitched, Bewildered. I wrote it in 15 minutes this time. Enjoy!

*****

"I mean, just look at that."

Marcy and Kelly both leaned over to look where Peg was pointing. Al, Bud, and Steve were at the kitchen table, huddled over a magazine, practically giggling and drooling over the contents.

Peg shook her head.

"Men," she said. "They never grow up."

"Especially not the little toadstool," Kelly said.

"It's disgusting," Marcy said.

"Oh! It's back!" Kelly announced, turning up the volume on the TV.

Kelly, Marcy, and Peg squealed and clapped their hands as the announcer on-screen purred, "And now, welcome back to our Hottest Hunks countdown. Let's meet number 3!"

 

Yeah, rather the pot calling the kettle there ladies--who hasn't grown up?

 

This, entirely And so funny!

 

Nyota's Heart: They're such hypocrites, and I love them for it.

Mira_Jade: I can't even take credit for it - it was one of those scenes that just popped into my head, and all I had to do was tweak a few words, LOL!

NYCitygurl: Funny is usually my goal.

Thank you all so much for reading and for the kind comments!

This next snippet is for prompt 16, Warmed by the fire. As usual, I gave myself 20 minutes to write, and this silliness is the result. Enjoy!

*****

"Al, turn the thermostat up."

Al sighed wearily.

"Now, Peg, let me explain this again," he said. "If I turn the thermostat up, the house gets warmer. And all that extra heat costs money." He raised his index finger to emphasize his point. "I sell women's shoes, I don't have money. So nobody is touching that thermostat."

"Well," Peg purred, "I guess there are...other ways to keep warm."

She leaned over and ran her fingers up Al's arm.

Al gave her a horrified look.

"Oh, come on, honey," she said, snuggling closer.

"Alright, alright!" Al wailed. "I'll turn the heat up."

Peg smirked and settled back against the pillows, getting comfortable.

 

Now that is how you know you've been married waaaay too long

 

THIS

 

Nyota's Heart: Peg knows what she's doing!

Mira_Jade: Oh, I'm so glad! I'm having so much fun writing them!

NYCitygurl: Marriage, it's a beautiful thing.

Thank you so much, you guys!

Next snippet is for today's prompt, Stand your ground. It doesn't feel quite finished, but it's what I could do in 20 minutes. Can't promise anything, but it might end up getting expanded or having a companion piece or something...we'll see. Anyway, enjoy!

*****

"What is that monstrosity doing in the yard?" Marcy snapped.

"Some sort of rain dance?" Steve asked after a quick glance over.

"No, not Al," Marcy said. "Although those shorts are hideous. I meant that...thing he's dancing around."

Steve tilted his head curiously. He and Marcy watched while Al slapped plaster on a big, vaguely football-shaped object. Peg and the kids were standing on the porch, shaking their heads. Finally, Steve and Marcy had to satisfy their curiosity.

"Hi, Peggy," Marcy said as they walked up. "Did Al get a new hobby?"

"Of course not, that would mean using his time productively," Peg said. "He's got this notion in his head that he can win a contest for Super Bowl tickets. Something about biggest football fan in Chicago."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with trying," Bud said.

"Yeah, but why try when the answer's always 'Ew, not if you were the last guy on earth!'?" Kelly snickered.

"Like you'd know," Bud said. "Guys don't even have to try with you."

Kelly punched him in the arm.

"Well, kudos to Al for putting in the effort," Steve said. A dreamy look crossed his face. "I wouldn't mind going to the Super Bowl myself."

"Come on, Steve, time to go," Marcy said quickly, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him away.

 

LOL! A rain dance?! Bud and Kelly are probably claiming to all who may or may not be wondering: Hey, we're adopted

 

These Bundy pieces are great fun