Before Mask of Duty - AU - guess what? A POST!!! 12-21-04!! :D

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Mar 29, 2004.

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  1. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Well, I see you are keeping yourself busy while waiting for me to get the next FnB chap back to you ;) Not that i'm complaining mind you.

    I too enjoyed this initial meeting between Qui and Obi. It's as if Qui sees Obi not just as a child but as a fellow Jedi - nice.

    It is a bit of a reversal though. Obi the stoic reserved one, and Qui being so open and like Dianesaid - so intuned with the living force. He's liking Obi already :) And why wouldn't he?

    I am looking forward to a deeper look into Obi's relationship with his deceased master as well. I hope it wasn't all bad for him :(

    Great job!

    --shan
  2. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Wow, Obi-Wan is so emotionally different. When exactly was he taken as a Padawan by Klp? He is so stoic, and his usually present sense of humor is so stifled. Obviously Qui-gon recognizes this, and I don't blame him for disagreeing with the emotionless, passionless teachings and lifestyles of Klp. I mean, look how our Obi-Wan turned out! Still, I'm sure he must have been a suitable master, for all the loyalty Obi-Wan felt for him in the past and the intense pain he feels for his death. Ach, poor guy! But good posts, Arldetta! I'm so glad we have another great thread on the market. Woo hoo! And by the way, does anyone know where these...interesting and grammatically weird forum decorations and banners are from? Weird. "All your council are belong to Poof"??? What? Still, they are pretty good!
  3. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Oh what wonderful people!!! I love [face_love] reviews!!!! And you're all so nice to leave me some. :D Thank you, thank you!! ;)

    Anyway, I'm going to spoil you. I've got another posty! :D Like I always say "A chapter a day keeps the plot bunnies at bay!" :p [face_laugh] ;) Enjoy!

    -------------------------------------------------------


    It didn?t take them long to reach the crumbling building. Obi-Wan entered and walked up a flight of step and down a long hallway. The building looked mostly deserted except for the occasional sounds of life that drifted out from behind closed doors. Toward the end of the hall, Obi-Wan stopped and knocked on a door. They waited for a moment and received no answer. He knocked a second time and still nothing. Yet he knew Wehutti was in there, he could feel the man?s sorrow. Next, he tried the door to see if it would open. It didn?t budge. But Obi wasn?t about to give up. Raising one of his hands he summoned the incredible power that swirled around them. In seconds, both heard the distinct click of a lock being undone.

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan looked over at the tall Jedi next to him wondering if the man would disapprove of his blatant use of the Force. Master Garg would have probably done both, chastise and praise him. Sometimes the man was too confusing. He would have disapproved of misuse of the Force but appreciated the initiative to see the problem and find a solution, as long as they achieved the results of the mission. However, his Master was no longer with him. So Obi had to wonder what this strange Knight might say.

    For seconds he examined the leonine features and saw nothing that indicated his reaction. Deciding that he would worry about it later, he pushed the door open and walked inside. Softly, he called, ?Wehutti??

    They heard a scuffle near the back of the room, shrouded in shadow. A gruff voice answered, ?What do you want? Haven?t you already caused enough trouble??

    ?I came here to talk. To tell you?.?

    ?Talk? What is there to talk about? My daughter?s dead, no thanks to you.?

    ?That is why I am here. You need to know the truth.?

    ?Oh, yeah? And what?s that??

    ?You didn?t kill her.?

    ?I know that you stupid boy. It was those damn children that wanted to play adult.?

    ?You are wrong. Someone else murdered her. I noticed a glint of light on a roof above us. The sky was overcast, which means someone was up there. Whoever that was killed Cerasi.?

    ?Why would they want to hurt my baby? She was an angel.?

    ?I do not believe they intentionally meant to kill her. I believe she was more in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I do believe whoever that was, wanted war.? Silence encompassed them as they all pondered these thoughts. As the older pair allowed the information to sink in, Obi-Wan started to replay the events that lead them to this point in his mind. As the images and words whipped past, a new realization struck him. Without realizing it he spoke the new question aloud, ?Why did you re-arm? How did you get the weapons? We had a truce, but then everyone was armed again. Even the Young.?

    ?We heard that the Daan and the Young had weapons. We would not sit back and let them wipe us out. So we broke into our stash.?

    ?But I remember Mawat telling us that Melida had broken into the stores and the Daan had found weapons as well. I would not be surprised to find that Gueni was also misinformed. There is a web of lies here. Someone has fed our fears and brought about this tragedy. Listen to me Wehutti, tell your people to put away their weapons, lock them back up. I will contact the others and set up a new meeting. Peace is so close don?t let it slip through your fingers again.?

    ?You ask us to neutralize our forces? I refuse. We will not be vulnerable again. And who ever has taken my child from me must pay.?

    ?No. You say you love your daughter yet you never listened to her. What right do you even have to avenge her death??

    ?I may not have always been there, but I was still h
  4. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Cant't wait to see Qui-Gon to break through Obi-Wans facade, although this'll be painful for both.
    CAN'T WAIT FOR AN UP OF FG TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
    Please? [face_love] :D
  5. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Well, I just had to use my 1000th post for you Ari :) Speaking of that, wonder where all the little stars went? Hmmmm. Oh well. :D

    I like how Obi seems to have such control of the situation. Qui seems quite impressed. He doesn't know it, but he's already fighting a losing battle - Obi will be his padawan, sooner or later ;)

    I too can't wait for Qui to break down that stoic exterior and see the vulnerable child within. I just love these kinds of fics - - and you do them so well!

    --shan
  6. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Hi Arl!

    I've felt so bad that I haven't been able to catch up on FnB but there I was, scanning the boards, and discovered a new story by you! Now that I've caught it at the beginning, I hope that I can stay caught up and continue to tell you what a wonderful writer you are, and how much I'm enjoying this. :)

    Can't wait until Qui finds Obi's inner child. How long has it been since that kid laughed, anyways? :D

    Cheers,

    Shaindl
  7. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    **looks at the last two posts in wonder** My goodness you have been bitten by the plot bunny havent you?


    Wonderful posts dear Arl...lovely as always. I can not wait to see how this all turns out...


    MORE PLEASE!!!

    --PT
  8. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  9. Captain_Observant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    :D

    Very interesting post. I am very curious to see what are young Obi will find out about who killed Cerasi...

  10. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Great post Arldetta! Obi-Wan projects the image of the perfect Jedi, I look forward to seeing what lies beneath the stoic mask.
  11. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Ah, if only I had the eloquence of Obi-Wan. Good thing for everyone that I was not in charge of the negotiations: "Umm, you know that war is like...bad. Cause people get, like, hurt. And Cerasi wouldn't have been down with that. Know what I'm sayin'?" But good job Obi-Wan, and props to you Arldetta! Very well written chap. And come on, Qui-Gon, who do you think you're kidding, telling yourself that you'll never again have a padawan, least of all Obi-Wan? *Speaks in a low, dramatic voice* "IT IS YOUR DESTINY!!" It's obvious that Obi-Wan's late master was pretty strict, and that Obi-Wan is not yet used to the lawless passionate ways of our favorite Jedi Master. Get used to it kiddo! Anyways, woo hoo for Arldetta!
  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  13. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    It should be interesting to see how Qui-Gon is going to bring out the child in Obi-Wan. It should be quite difficult to do if he's been that Master's apprentice for very long....

    Good job.
  14. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Sorry, I haven't posted in a few days. Was stuck a bit for a moment. Bum about the boards though. Hopefully, it'll be fixed soon.

    Anyway, I've managed to write some more garbage for you. But considering the first draft was ten times worse than this, it's a gem. Like I said, I'm kinda writing this on the fly so flow and such will not be as good as my other works. I apologize in advance for giving you less than adequite work. I just hope you are enjoying Forsaken much more. ;)

    Well, here goes........

    -------------------------------------------------------


    They walked back in silence. The meeting with Gueni had not gone as well, but Obi-Wan was able to achieve the results desired. Qui-Gon was a little surprised that the man was capable of shouting with a breathing mask on. The man was obviously disturbed by the death of a child right in front of him. Oddly enough, the Jedi thought, considering they were all prepared for war when the incident occurred. But they were also able to learn that the Daan had been informed of re-armament of the other factions and quickly acted upon that rumor. Apparently, they obtained their weapons from the country outside the city. Which only led to more questions and no answers.

    As they trekked through the lanes and avenues back to the Young?s hideout, Qui-Gon couldn?t help but ponder the youth beside him. His negotiation skills were admirable. And the confident air that clung to the slender form as well as his gentle mannerisms made people listen to him. He looked over at the young man who had recently been through so much and persevered. Somewhere, deep inside him he felt that all was not as it seemed. The boy?s steps slowed as they drew nearer to the end of their journey. The Knight could sense weariness in the form, but he could discern little else through tightly erected shields. This alone was enough to concern the man, despite the accomplishments done.

    Perhaps the boy was trying to conceal the pain of losing his Master or maybe that of the loss of his comrade Cerasi. But he couldn?t help feeling there was more to it than that. What also unnerved him was the mere fact the boy?s shields were so impenetrable. He had never met one so young that had shields that could rival most Knights. Again his thoughts led to a darker path. Had Garg Klp?s influence been something that caused such barriers. He had no doubt that Obi-Wan?s thin figure was in part due to Klp?s teachings. What other damage had he caused the boy?

    Sighing, he realized how wrong he was to claim that Klp had done anything to harm the Padawan intentionally. Garg was one with the Force now and no matter what he had done, he could no longer be held accountable for any of it. Instead of dwelling on his thoughts and the infinite possibilities, he decided to concentrate on the here and now. And from what he could tell, it was that Obi-Wan was exhausted. So exhausted in fact, it felt as if it drained his own strength just being near him. They were now in the tunnels beneath the city. Obi-Wan had stopped up ahead, his back to the Knight. Qui-Gon felt he should say something, encourage or advise the boy. Not exactly sure what he was going to say, Qui walked up and lifted a hand, ready to place it on a tense shoulder.

    As the large hand slowly descended, he felt a surge in the Force. Fingertips lightly brushed worn material as the young man evaded the touch. Instantly, he was saying, ?I?m fine, Master Jinn. I?m just tired. It?s been a rather long day.?

    Qui-Gon regarded the youth sullenly. In that brief instant that the Force flared around them, he sensed a number of things as well as some things that he was not able to name. Among them were fear and pain, both of which he knew came from the boy. Then the shields returned - snapping back into place - and tramped down on those sensations and closing him inside.

    Eyeing the boy carefully, Qui-Gon said, ?Yes, I can imagine how tiring it has been after having suffered the loss of a friend. It must have been hard f
  15. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Qui is figuring out that there is something wrong(other than my typijng)
  16. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    It's fine. You were able to show that Obi-Wan is damaged by his old Master and yet willing to hold onto his pain in order to get things done. A brave soul and hurting. Hope Qui can get through to him.

    Good job.
  17. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Arldetta it is great! I enjoyed it so much.
    Please more. Please soon! :)
  18. Musing Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2003
    star 2
    I knew Spock had jumped ship from the Enterprise! Or maybe there was a transporter accident... :p Where's Dr. McCoy when you need him? [face_laugh]
  19. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Trash? Oh stop fishing for compliments [face_laugh] If that is trash, then I best just throw my little fic in the compost pen and be done with it!

    Truly, it was great. I thought it was one of the best ones yet - really.

    And again, if that is garbage - throw some more on the heap soon :D You can probably tell i'm feelin' better :) Catch you later.

    --shan
  20. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, I still think it was crap. Actually, most of this will be garbage considering that it's not beta'd and practically right off the press - so to speak.

    So I gots sommore trash fer y'all! ;) :p :D Actually, this was much better in my mind. Although not fully up to par. Still..... Anyway, I'm not vying for more comments bashing my own stuff. I believe in honesty and to me, I honestly believed it was garbage. Now some of the chaps on Fosaken, I may not be totally happy with, but I still think that some are really good. I re-read some of that and said, 'wow, I wrote that??' Now that's a work to be proud of. This is just something to pass the time.

    Anyway, enough babble. Thank you all for reading and reviewing even with my bad-talking. It still means a lot to me. :D

    -------------------------------------------------------


    Swiftly, Obi-Wan made his way to the small maintenance closet that had come to be his refuge. He abruptly closed the door behind him. In the quiet secluded room, he could let his façade crumble away. Learning his forehead against the door, he closed his eyes and fought the desire to release his stomach. Nausea was becoming his constant companion, along with the flush of fever and chilling shivers. Of course these physical problems compounded the agony inside him. He gathered what was causing his body?s discomfort and promptly ignored it. But what was happening to him internally was another matter entirely. He wished his Master were here.

    Allowing the appearance of perfection to slip away, Obi-Wan slid down to the ground. So many thoughts ran rabid in his mind making it hard for him to focus on one for longer than a moment. Hopes for tomorrow, sorrow of the past, confusion of the present all collided leaving him feeling even more exhausted than before. Taking deep, steady breaths, he wished he could talk with Master Garg once more. The man was a wealth of knowledge and always offered advice when needed. And Obi needed some now.

    He had so many questions. Could he pull off his plans? What might he be forgetting? How can he close up the hole inside him now that his Master was gone? And so many others. But there was one question he had that he knew Garg would not be able to help him with. One that he would have to wait to talk with his confidant, Bant, about. How can he make the ache go away now that Cerasi was gone? As much as he admired his Master, he knew the man was incapable of helping through his emotions. Often, Obi would go to Bant after missions to reconcile the feelings he had through them. Of course over the past few years, he had been revealing less and less to her. Only touching on the larger, more pressing moments that he could not deftly stow away. It had been almost 6 months since the last time they had a heart to heart but he knew she would understand.

    She was always there for him. And he could never thank her enough. She always dismissed his gratitude saying that that?s what friends were for. But he felt he should say it. He wished she was there now, but he knew she was back at the Temple. Suddenly, he felt extremely alone. No Master. No friends. No one.

    A hushed whisper in the back of his mind reminded him that there was someone else there now. But he didn?t know Qui-Gon, heard the name on occasion but that?s about it. He recalled a moment when his Master had spoken of the man, saying that the man twisted their beliefs and didn?t take their roles seriously enough. Perhaps that was another reason, Obi-Wan had been so desperate to keep up the façade that he was capable of handling the situation himself. He didn?t want the Knight to come in and take over when he had no clue what was going on. Obi-Wan knew he could take care of it, he just needed the opportunity to do so. Of course he was more surprised at the fact that the Knight didn?t even attempt to assume the mission. Still, he didn?t trust the man fully to confide in him.

    Another swell of nausea crashed through him eliciting a moan. His b
  21. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Your ramblings are so enjoable- you can ramble on whenever you want.
  22. Captain_Observant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    OOOO...

    Very interesting couple of posts. And I don't care what you say, they were good.

    I am very curious to see exactly what it is that's making Obi sick, and what is going to happen with the upcoming meeting!

    :D
  23. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    *emerges from lurking*

    I've been reading and enjoying this, Arldetta. :D

    *slips back into lurking*
  24. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Ari, you know that you can ramble anytime as far as I'm concerned. I liked that Obi-Wan felt he could not confide in Qui-Gon and that Qui was frustrated about that fact. They need to connect but I don't see that happening for a while.

    Good job.
  25. RosyRedFinguredDawn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2003
    star 3
    Wow, I wish I could ramble like that :) I found the link to this off the PB page and just read through the whole thing. Its a great concept and you're executing it deftly. Its always neat to see favorite characters through a different lense. Here we have a nice Qui, as opposed to his often demonized fandom version, and stoic Jedi Obi. I am looking forward to when Obi opens up. Good luck and keep it up!
    ~Rosy
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