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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - PT "The Secrets of Sewosta" (OCs, clones wars short story - COMPLETED)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kurisan, May 5, 2016.

  1. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Summary: Action/adventure with original characters and some known faces. Comments and concrit warmly welcomed!


    "The Clone Wars grip the galaxy... The Jedi Order is stretched to breaking point... Padawans are sent on missions more usually entrusted to senior Knights..."

    STAR WARS: THE SECRETS OF SEWOSTA
    [​IMG]

    Chapter 1
    “DO WE GO FOR IT?” said Maya Qwan, eyeing the challenge ahead. The youthful Padawan gripped the controls of her Delta-7 starfighter as it screamed towards the looming Lucrehulk-class cruiser. She climbed high above the C-shaped capital ship before diving towards its central command sphere. Gun turrets spat ruby spears of laser at her.
    From his socket set to the side of her cockpit, the astromech droid R4-T0 tweeted calculations. Maya frowned, swerving as the laser cannons tracked her nimble spacecraft. The little droid’s words were translated to a sub-screen on her controls.
    “Shields too depleted, huh Tio?” said Maya. The green and white robot sadly beeped the affirmative.
    “Those towers can’t all hit us. Tio, angle deflectors double-right!”
    Tio trilled in protest. Maya gripped the controls as she pushed the starfighter to its limit, laser blasts now exploding perilously close and rocking the Delta-7.
    “I know that’ll leave our port-side exposed. Just do it. We have to try!”
    She gritted her teeth and rolled the wedge-shaped starfighter, trying furiously to throw off the enemy tracking computers as she closed on the target. A shot pounded off her starboard flank. The energy barrier fizzed, the controls lit up with warning lights, but the shields held. Maya concentrated on protecting their port-side as another, then another blast slammed into their right. She could see the target ahead of the Delta-7’s nose; a throbbing energy orb suspended right above the battleship’s bridge.
    “Not much further…” she breathed.
    Another blast hammered the Delta-7 and an alarm screamed.
    “Shields out!”
    She was still just out of range from the target. No less than eight gun towers locked onto the speeding Jedi vessel and a storm of red energy spears engulfed her cockpit. One final blast, and everything went dark…
     
  2. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Ah, cool! Great action here! I like the relationship she's got with Tio. She seems brave and determined.

    And you already have a cover? Excellent! ;)
     
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    I admire anyone who can write starfighter type battles =D= And astromechs with personality will always draw me in. :D I will follow this one. :)
     
  4. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Well, if this was supposed to get our attention, it did! A very good start and I second all Ny & Diva said about action!

    Maya seems to be a no-nonsense girl, let's see how she escapes this and I'm pretty sure that she will.
     
  5. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Chapter 2

    “WELL, NOW YOU ARE DEAD,” said a stern voice, filtered through breathing apparatus. A small hologram shimmered into being above Maya’s controls, which now came back to life. The masked, salmon-pink face of Master Plo Koon stared at her. The alien cupped his chin tentacles with a long, bony-fingered hand. “Training exercise completed.”

    “I came close, Master Koon,” Maya appealed.

    “Though I must admit that was some excellent maneuvering for one so young, close does not count, Padawan.”

    Maya tried and failed to hide her disappointment as she turned her Delta-7 away from Kamino’s orbital training arena and back towards the waiting Republic star-cruiser.

    Plo continued, “That was a reckless move. Your astromech provided you with the data, did it not? It was meant to be an impossible target – even Grade 10 Jedi pilots would pull out of that attack.”

    “Well, what’s the point of that?” said Maya, scowling.

    Plo sighed. “You learn as younglings that with the Force there are no limits. I am here to teach you that with starships, there are limits. It is almost impossible for a sole fighter to complete that objective.”

    Almost? Then have you succeeded, Master?”

    Plo paused, then said, “Possibly…”

    Maya allowed a sly grin to spread. “Tell me how, Master.”

    “That is something for you to meditate upon, young Padawan. You are a practitioner of the martial art, Teräs Käsi, are you not?”

    “That’s for personal combat, what’s it got to do with this?” Maya began, but Plo Koon’s image had already disappeared as he terminated the transmission. She huffed with frustration. Then another hologram signal came in; a familiar Ithorian Jedi Master with a hammer-shaped head. Maya suppressed a groan.

    “You did well, my young Padawan,” said Master Chodo Sun, as if reading her thoughts.

    “I… I did?”

    “Master Koon of course has valuable insights for you to think upon,” the ancient brown alien seemed to check over his shoulder before leaning in closer. “But I think you rather exceeded expectations. I must wonder, young one, whether you would similarly put your ship at such risk in a real battlefield situation, or whether you only attempted this because you knew it was a training exercise.”

    “But it is possible. Master Koon said so. Why won’t he instruct me how?”

    She paused, worried about criticizing the legendary Jedi pilot instructor.

    Chodo said, “Didn’t he?”

    Maya opened her mouth to answer, closed it again, confused.

    “I may not like to admit it,” said Chodo, “But it seems the path of combat, and the fighter pilot, does indeed suit you, despite all my efforts. Anyway, a mission has come up.”

    “Where are we going, Master?” Maya silently hoped for something a bit more interesting than another trade negotiation, sitting and taking notes while her master arbitrated deals between feuding planets.

    “Actually just you, my young Padawan. I am needed on the Reconciliation Council. So, finally, you get to take a mission on your own.” Chodo allowed a moment for her to process that surprise. “We have lost power from a sensor station on the remote outer rim world of Sewosta.”

    Maya frowned. “Isn’t that a routine job for a technical team, Master?”

    “Yes, normally. A team was actually on planet – part of our ExplorerCorps; they included geologists and biologists collecting data for potential settlement – so we sent them to make the repair. And now we have lost all contact with them, too. Kamino is near to the system, so I want you to investigate. The spy-post has become important since the Rishi Maze has become such a strategic galactic location.”

    Maya’s pulse quickened. “You suspect Separatists?”

    “We do not know what to suspect, my young Padawan. No-one has been there since the sensor station was established, years ago. Be very careful. Do not do anything without first getting the approval of me or the Jedi Council. I am still not sure about this myself…”

    “Yes, Master…” Maya muttered. Chodo’s crinkled brown face softened.

    “I know you have been waiting for this chance, Maya. Please forgive my hesitation before letting you go. You do get to take the Delta-7.”

    “I… I do?”

    “Master Koon has signed the order. You’ve got your wings, Maya. And no, I suggest you don’t go and make a big deal of thanking him just yet. You have earned it; that is all he will say for now.”

    “Understood, Master.”

    “Are you ready to leave right now?”

    Maya checked the fabric belt that cinched her fade-dyed tunic around her slender hips: lightsaber, aquata-breather, grappling cable cylinder, comlink.

    “Always ready, Master!”

    “Then take hyper-ring 7. May the Force be with you, Maya.”

    “Thank you. May the Force be with you, Master.”

    “And, Maya?”

    “Yes, Master?”

    Do try to bring back the starship in one piece – Master Plo Koon will be most upset otherwise…”

    “Yes, Master!”
     
  6. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Oooh, what a surprise to find out that was a training exercise. :cool: Koon was being cryptic but Chodo more encouraging. And that does sound like a mission to be worried about. Maya is bold but she doesn't seem the type to make the same mistake twice. [face_thinking]
     
    AzureAngel2, Ewok Poet and Kurisan like this.
  7. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Ewok Poet, WarmNyota_SweetAyesha, divapilot thank you all for the generous comments. I'm not used to that - usually get scathing criticism lol. I feel really at home here already thanks to you guys.
     
  8. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Chapter 3



    MAYA’S DELTA-7 SLIPPED from hyperspace into orbit above the misty-emerald orb of Planet Sewosta. The lissome Padawan peered at their destination while Tio ran standard re-orientation checks.

    “So, what do we know about this place?” said Maya.

    Tio’s report from the archives flickered up as text on her control screen.

    “Temperature and humidity data indicate a tropical climate. Extensive biodiversity surveys are still in progress. There is a footnote: Some rumours of monsters living under the ground which suck living things down into them and digest over hundreds of years…”

    “Really, Tio?” Maya raised an eyebrow. “That seems a bit… fanciful...”

    Tio locked onto the coordinates for the sensor station and Maya dived into the atmosphere. The starfighter whipped through fluffy strata of clouds before emerging above a continent blanketed with lush green forests and cradled between wide oceans. As the agile Jedi vessel jetted down to the surface Maya spotted the site they were headed for: From the height it looked like an ancient city that was gradually being reclaimed by the jungles. She set the Delta-7 down in a clearing just outside the complex and popped the cockpit canopy.

    Soupy humidity and the fragrances of jungle orchids washed over her senses. A chorus of birds and amphibians chirped all around. Maya clambered down and checked her equipment again. The moist heat caressed her bare arms and legs. Closer to the buildings she saw they were in fact modern tech; squat cubes built of beige plasteel and covered with piping. The vines and mosses of the forest were slowly climbing and obscuring them, giving the effect of ancient edifices. There, a solar-power collector, there an information processor. Maya glanced back at the Delta-7.

    “Tio, take off and find somewhere safe and out of sight to park.”

    The droid burbled an enquiry.

    “I don’t know. Not too far away, and look out for underground monsters!”

    Tio hooted doubtfully.

    “No, I’m sure it’s perfectly safe for droids here. Keep your comlink open.”

    The fledgling Jedi set off down the main avenue between blocks. A soft mist limited her vision to a hundred metres ahead, but she saw more of the cubic buildings lining each side of the street, laid out in a regular pattern like cells in a giant battery. She paused, toeing the stony ground with her sandal, remembering Tio’s rumoured monsters.

    Maya studied the nearest building again. A ladder ascended one side, leading up to a metal gantry near its top. She made a decision and scrambled up the rungs. The cube was covered with a scaffolding of weathered pipes and valves, but no obvious entrance. She trotted along the grilled walkway, then froze as she spotted movement through the mists ahead. Was that a… ?

    Maya dropped into a crouch and peered along the avenue. Yes… a Geonosian battle droid. The man-sized, gangly automaton stalked in a straight path across the avenue, clutching a blaster rifle. As Maya spied from cover it halted, paused, turned on the spot, and then marched in the opposite direction.

    “It’s on a patrol pattern,” Maya breathed. She waited a little longer, then saw another one, intersecting the path of the first on a similar route. Maya reached for her comlink, and hesitated. She turned thoughts over in her mind. It’s not a given that the Confederacy is here. Many more institutions have started utilising battle droids, despite the Republic’s ban. Who is it? How many of them are here? What are they doing?

    Maya decided she needed to gather more information before prematurely calling down a clone trooper invasion on this remote place. She prowled along the gantry to the end nearest the droid. The robot sentry was still two more blocks away. Maya steadied herself; the gap was a clear five metres to the next building. She took a short run-up then jumped, a lithe silhouette flitting beneath the forest canopy.

    Maya landed lightly on the next cube’s gantry. Creeping along, she observed the patrol pattern of the droids and edged closer to a point where she would be directly overhead from the routes. Another leap, another landing silent as a cat, and she was directly above the spot. The Padawan drew her weapon.

    When one automaton halted beneath her and turned she dropped and pounced. Her lightsaber ignited with a snap-hiss. A sapphire flash and the droid tumbled to the loam in two pieces. Maya snapped her attention to the second guard. The sound had not triggered its sensors yet. She slipped behind the corner of the building and waited.

    The second insectoid machine reached her position and halted, jerking with alarm as it discovered its fallen comrade. It barked a burst of electronic language before Maya darted from her hiding place.

    The lightsaber flashed again, the robotic soldier too slow to anticipate its deadly swing. The droid fell with a hole burnt clean through its chest, joining the pile left by the first. Maya peered up the street. Her heart skipped a beat as she spied a new shape looming from the mists.

    It looked like a gigantic skull, and clanking footsteps approached…
     
  9. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Criticism? Hmmm, while each single story ever can be improved, in, like, nine of ten cases, the author benefits from kind words more. Once one focuses on the positives, it's easier to make comparisons without anybody else's help! :) I used to be confused about that aspect of this community, now I think it's actually a good way for a writer to grow. So...get used to our niceness. ;)

    Chapter 2
    Upon reading the prologue, I had a thought that all of it could have been a simulation, but I dismissed it as too bizarre...and then, opa, it actually happens. At the same time, I'm glad I never said it, because it would've ruined the surprise.

    I still stand by what I said about Maya being a no-nonsense girl, though, with everything we see in her interaction with Ploo Koon - whom I am immensely glad to see here - it's getting downplayed by her youthful confusion of too much self-esteem and none of it. You write young people right! :)

    What's also interesting is how much Yoda's dogma is normalised, to the point that, at this one moment, Ploo Koon actually uses Yoda's speech pattern. Not sure if that was intentional or it came to you naturally, but I love it.

    Not sure if the other character did the right thing. Then again, Maya may have a way of convincing people. ;)

    ...

    Chapter 3
    Maya's banter with Tio is great and her comment about what almost certainly is a sarlacc made me laugh!

    A battle droid is almost certainly a sign of Separatists...then again, you are good with surprises, so I'm cautious.

    Waiting to see what happens after this cliffie!
     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Wonderful details of the place as to the jungle encroaching contrasted with the modern tech of the buildings. Great action with the droids. Maya shows admirable restraint in just observing and then acting quickly to try and neutralize the threat as inconspicuously as possible. Let me say that I applaud the skill sets you give her. They're just-right, not overly or under-done. =D= That is a hard balance to reach. @};-
     
  11. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Ewok Poet All feedback's cool to me - positive or negative. For me the most disappointing criticism is "no comment", so I really appreciate your taking the time to both read and reply.

    The opening scene is sort of inspired (should I say copied?) from the Kobayashi Maru simulation from Star Trek (dare I mention that franchise here? :)) . I wondered if any readers might spot it, so well done to you - you got your first plot-spot cookiee :D. I am gratified that you've got Maya spot on, too, as that was a secondary purpose of the opening two chapters. Brave and determined are positive adjectives, but these attributes can stray into negative territory when they become reckless and stubborn. Now you mention it, I realise Plo is sort of a Yoda substitute in this scene - the harsh, cryptic instructor. Chodo usually fills that role, but on this occasion recognised that Maya needed some gentle, parental-style encouragement.

    And yes, secrets and surprises are sort of the theme of this tale.

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Thanks once again for looking in and the encouraging words! I think we spoke in my self-intro thread, where I said that this story is a dramatisation of an RPG game I participated in. Maya was a level-1 Padawan, so this helped me set quantifiable levels for her skill levels.

    Kuri
     
  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Kurisan - yes, oh yes, you can mention Star Trek [face_laugh] Any time any way [face_laugh] =P~ ;)

    Kobayashi maru is a fascinating test of strategy and LOL of finding out what makes a great commander and whether a Captain can let himself/herself "lose" or not. [face_love] :D
     
  13. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Chapter 4


    FOUR MORE BATTLE DROIDS stalked towards her from the mists. They barked electronic signals like radio white-noise, and raised blaster rifles. Maya knew that she was discovered. Now that stealth had become obsolete, she decided it was time to rely upon her other asset; speed.

    She sprinted towards the gang of killer robots, lightsaber swinging in her right hand. In unison they opened fire and blaster rounds screamed through the soupy air, interrupting the chorus of the jungle creatures.

    The svelte Padawan spun and flipped, dodging ruby arrows before closing to ten metres. The droids kept on blasting. Maya batted away one shot and ducked under another. Two metres. Maya leapt high, spoiling their aim, then landed between two sentinels. Utilising the tenets of her Teräs Käsi martial arts training, she concentrated the full power of her weight and momentum into a sweeping horizontal arc with her lightsaber. The sapphire blade crunched through durasteel armour, and two droids crumpled to the forest floor, each neatly sliced through the midriff.

    The remaining two were both to her left. Maya tumbled into a roll as blasterfire screamed over her head. She stabbed one in the lower torso, kicking out at the other. Her shin stung from the impact of bare skin upon hard metal, but the strike bought her just enough time as the final droid tottered. She rolled again, ending with a jump as she pushed off the floor with bent knees. A flying horizontal swipe separated the final automaton’s head from its body.

    Maya deactivated her weapon and paused, regaining her breath as the glowing edges of cut droid segments cooled. She quivered with the thrill of combat. Though she had practiced endlessly with remotes and training droids, this was the first time she had gone up against Baktoid battle droids for real.

    After a few moments, the jungle seemed to recover from its shock and the buzzing insects and chirping frogs resumed their songs. Maya surveyed the mists: No sign of reinforcements. These six had just been on a holding sentry duty.

    Maya frowned at the skull-faced monolith ahead of her. According to Tio’s data this was the exact spot where the main sensor array should have been – but there was no sign of the massive radar dish.

    The structure rose incongruously from the forest floor, as if it had somehow grown into place. The pyramid’s sides were carved from raw stone, caked in jungle slime and mud. Midway up the nearest side, topping a flight of flagged steps, the skull leered at her almost threateningly. Its wide jaws marked the entrance to a dark cave. Maya glanced again at the fallen droids. Were they here to prevent intruders coming in, or guard against something coming out? What secrets of Sewosta did this skull-pyramid hide?

    She scampered up the stone steps and peered into the now unguarded entrance. A cool breeze groaned out, tainted with a musty scent and the unmistakable nose-scratching aroma of smoke. The entrance led into a corridor. Burning torches lined the stone walls and in the flickering light Maya spotted the pieces of more battle droids. Something had cut these apart too.

    “What is going on here?” she whispered out loud.

    Maya took a step into the darkness, lightsaber at the ready. Nothing happened. She raised her foot to take another step, then paused. Something cut those battle droids apart as they entered this place. She activated her lightsaber and used the light thrown by the humming blade to study the foreboding passage further.

    The destroyed droids lay at spaced intervals, the furthest twenty metres from her. The nearest ones bore clean incisions. But those further down… Aha. The glint of a spearhead caught her eye as it stuck from the neck of one of the shattered automatons. The light also partially revealed another feature of the tunnel – two heavy doors on either side, forty metres down, perhaps constructed of wood. Just beyond these, the darkness swallowed her saber’s illumination, but red lights in the dark blinked at the teenager and she froze.

    She studied them for some moments but could not fathom their origin. They did not seem threatening at present. But those sliced droids… Maya peered at the walls. Scenes scrawled in dark paint leapt to her notice. Figures of a strange race that walked like humans yet trailed long tails decorated the tunnel. Then she shivered as she saw some monstrous maw open at the feet of more figures, tentacles pulling them down, devouring them. Tio’s monsters.

    The figures seemed to dance and struggle in the flickering light of the torches. Then she detected series of holes and slices amongst the paintings – almost as if hidden amidst the scenes. Maya frowned and decided to test a theory.

    She retreated outside and picked up a log of fallen wood. Then she returned and lobbed it underarm down the passage. With barely a clunk and a groan as warning, the passage came to mechanical life. Spinning saw-tooth blades flashed from tracks in the walls, overlapping in deadly arcs at hip-height. Another blade dropped from the ceiling, just right to behead any intruder. Spears and darts erupted from holes in the walls. The log was shredded.

    As quickly as it had started, the deadly assault ended and the passage once more fell into silent darkness. Maya smiled. The experiment had worked. She had watched the sequences carefully.

    She securely fixed her lightsaber to her belt and took several moments to stretch and warm up her slender limbs. She had the route fixed in her mind, but it was going to be close. After several moments she was ready and balanced, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She took a deep breath and allowed the Force to wash over her body and through her arms and legs.

    Then she leapt, cartwheeling through the passage. The saw-discs came again, slashing from the sides. Maya dived over one and beneath another. Fresh spears launched and she twirled. The missiles missed her narrow waist. The head-chopper slashed down from the ceiling and Maya rolled beneath its range. Then, sweating and with her heart pounding in her chest, the novice Jedi was clear. She looked back at the once again tranquil tunnel.

    A sound snatched her attention and she rounded on the ruby lights she had seen before. They were getting bigger, coming closer. As their sources emerged from the darkness she now saw they were not lights: They were eyes

     
  14. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Wow, great action there and evidence of strong skills. :cool: That cavern is automated with deadly armaments and a beasty with ruby luminous eyes! :eek: :oops:
     
  15. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Thanks for sticking with me so far! The comments are warmly appreciated.


    Chapter 5
    THE CREATURES CHARGED AT MAYA, thrusting spears and hissing. Maya thought about retreating, but remembered the deadly traps that lay behind her. The creatures were as big as men, their wiry bodies bristling with dark fur. Their sinewy arms ended in long-fingered claws, and dagger-like teeth flashed in their elongated jaws.
    The Padawan had no time to study the attackers as they closed and jabbed their weapons. She ignited her lightsaber, hoping the brilliant beam would frighten them.
    “Stop!” she announced in as commanding voice as she could summon. “I do not want to hurt you!”
    The rodent-like creatures screeched in reply. A spear flew at her face. She batted it away with her lightsaber. The aggressors paused. Perhaps sensing they were outmatched, they stepped back.
    Another firesword! Another witch!” hissed one of the things. Maya’s eyes widened with shock. Then they disappeared into shadows, leaving her alone once more. Not for long… Maya decided. They were sure to bring back reinforcements soon. Questions tumbled one over another in her mind as the secrets of Sewosta deepened.
    She looked at the door at the side of the passage. The rat-men had retreated deeper into the darkness, and she did not want to chase recklessly after them yet. She tried the door and it pushed open. She slipped into the chamber. Maya found herself in another torch-lit dungeon, this time full of racks of weapons and armour. The designs were primitive, but the metal-working was excellent – she remembered the saw blades from the traps had cut through battle droid durasteel. Then a clatter and sound of a rolling helmet caught her attention. Something shifted in a corner.
    Maya dropped into a crouch and stalked towards the corner. She turned the end of a rack and came face to face with the owner of the disturbance.
    “Oh, my!” said a shrill voice. “Don’t hurt me, please!”
    This was no rat-man. Maya took in the other’s diminutive stature and hairless, anemic skin. Large black eyes like pools of oil sparkled at her from the otherwise featureless face. The gnome was clad in a blue technician’s uniform, and Maya spotted the logo of the ExplorerCorps on his chest. At the same time, the skinny alien noticed her lightsaber.
    “Thank goodness! You’re a Jedi! Have you come to evacuate me from here?”
    “Kind of,” Maya said. She smiled and offered a hand. “I’m Maya Qwan.”
    “Doctor Beda Xam – from the ExplorerCorps survey team. And I am most pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. Qwan!”
    “Just Maya is fine, Doctor.”
    “Splendid!”
    Maya noticed something. “How are you talking to me? I mean, you have no…”
    “Mouth? Aha, yes. I’m a Polis Massan,” he tapped his spherical head, “Mental signal oscillation transfer.”
    “Telepathy?” Maya started with shock. The alien giggled.
    “Don’t worry. I can’t read you – only others of my kind. But I do have ears.”
    Maya nodded understanding. “Can you tell me what’s been going on here?”
    “Well it was all of a whirlwind really. My team was cataloging biological data from the collectors when we were directed to here. Suddenly we were ambushed… Skraven they called themselves… they were all around us… didn’t even ask any questions… just attacked with spears and hissing the same thing over and over… Leave our sacred home. I was knocked to the ground and in the confusion managed to escape from the sensor array…”
    “Doctor, where is the sensor array?"
    “It’s inside this pyramid! Yes. Somehow this monument was built surrounding the original structure, but the top is open for the dish array. We descended from above. When the Skraven attacked I made my way down here through the labyrinth, dodging patrols. I got this far when I saw those battle droids and didn’t dare try to abscond from that entrance. Maya, what are battle droids doing here? What shall we do?”
    Maya slumped down to sit beside the Polis Massan and exhaled.
    “I don’t know. Who are these Skraven, Doctor? My Master never mentioned them.”
    “They must be native to Sewosta but have not appeared on the scans yet because they are subterranean. They rather remind me of Jenets, or perhaps the Mhingxin, as their evolutionary heritage seems quite evident to me.”
    Maya nodded agreement. Rodents.
    “The sensor complex includes solar generators, so it has been operating self-sufficiently for many years. Yet something must have provoked these beings into coming to the surface. They seem quite aggravated, and quite willing to fight intruders to the death.”
    “I wonder if we have made first contact,” Maya thought out loud, but then remembered their utterance: Another firesword, another witch…
    “Well, there are battle droids out there. I think someone has been trying to get in.” Dr. Xam pointed out.
    “Yes. I have a bad feeling about this. Let’s get out of here...”
     
  16. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Wo-oow. I love the idea of somebody anti-Force appearing amidst this chaos and suspense. I am toying with a similar idea myself, though my concept is slightly more warped and it's a fascinating concept. Now I'm intrigued to know if these beings are explicitly anti-Force or members of some wacky sect.
     
  17. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Cool stuff here with the automated threats etc. And the resourceful Doctor being able to survive the :eek: voracious guardians/predators. Glad she and Maya are together, makes getting out safely more likely and they can puzzle out what's going on.
     
  18. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Chapter 6
    MAYA LED DR. XAM TO THE DOOR. Peeking into the corridor she confirmed the rat-men had not yet returned. She glanced up the tunnel towards the exit, but remembered the traps.

    “Maybe we should try to find another way back out the top.”

    She paced across to the door on the other side and found it also unlocked. Inside she discovered a much dingier chamber, low ceilinged and unlit. The sound of trickling water brushed her ears and as her eyes grew accustomed to the dark she saw the stone floor abruptly ended beside a pool. No, not a pool. The water was moving. Dr. Xam trotted up behind her.

    “Hmmm, an underground stream running through – probably natural but diverted. But look! There’s a skull mounted on a stake. That is quite a universal cultural indicator of…”

    “Death, or danger,” Maya finished for him. “There’s something wrong with the water.”

    Seeing that the room offered no other exits, she surveyed the tunnel out of the pyramid once more, wondering how she could get the Polis Massan out past the traps safely.

    “Look!” Dr. Xam pointed.

    “Oh, not good…”

    Beyond the entrance, the sight that was now disturbing the mists dismayed Maya. An entire battalion marched down the avenue – at least a hundred battle droids stomping in perfect and eerie unison. Behind them, Maya spotted the mist-blurred outline of a landing ship and recognised the broad-winged silhouette of a C-9979 heavy transport. Two more battalions were disgorging from its open ramp.

    “It’s an invasion army,” Maya breathed. “Those others must have just been an advance party.”

    “What are we going to do?” squeaked Dr. Xam.

    “There must be some way to help these Skraven, whether they want it or not. For now though, it’s time we were not here.”

    There was only one way left. Maya checked deeper into the tunnel and discovered more heavy doors at its end: A double set ten metres further down in the darkness, where the Skraven must have retreated. Maya took a deep breath and led the way through.

    They entered yet another chamber, this time wide and long, with supporting columns lining each flank. Torchlight threw shadows as eight furry shapes emerged from the far end of the hall. The Skraven, and now they are reinforced! Four of the rat-men advanced, spears held point-forwards, while the others scuttled into cover behind the pillars.

    “Get behind me!” she said to Dr. Xam, and pulled her lightsaber from her belt.

    “Ooh, what are you going to do?” whined the little alien.

    Maya refrained from igniting her weapon this time. She addressed the Sewosta natives, “I do not wish to harm you! Those battle droids are your enemy. Let us help you.”

    One of the rat-men hissed back, “Metal warriors come with the witch! You leave, they leave…

    The speaker nodded to his comrades and puffs of wind punctuated the stuffy atmosphere. Before Maya had time to react, a sharp pain stabbed into her neck. She clutched at the wound and tugged out a dart embedded in her skin. Dark glistening ooze warned her it was poisoned.

    Then Maya’s vision dulled and her limbs went limp. She toppled to the dusty floor as her mind went dark…

     
  19. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Ugh...at least she tried. :s Be safe, Maya!
     
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  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Oooh, cliffie!!!! [face_nail_biting] And a mega serious one too. [face_worried]
     
  21. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha and Ewok Poet many thanks for sticking with me again. Will definitely take the time to repay the favour.:) Any particular requests for me to look at?



    Chapter 7
    “WAKE UP MAYA…” the voice seemed to call from a faraway place. She groaned.
    “Please, wake up!” it insisted. Maya dimly felt like she was at the bottom of a deep well and the voice was calling from a point of light far above. The tone was trill, and vaguely familiar.
    Dr. Xam? Memories slunk back into Maya’s mind. The skull-fortress loomed. Rat-men hissed. Dr. Xam squealed. Battle droids marched. Her neck stung. Poison!
    “Dr. Xam! Look out, it’s poisoned!” Maya croaked from a dry throat. Her eyes rolled open. Dr. Xam’s round white face stared down at her.
    “Just a sedative, I fancy,” his high voice spoke in her mind, just as if he had spoken the words out loud. Though she remembered the Polis Massans communicated using mental signals akin to telepathy, she really could not tell the difference.
    “But extremely fast-acting. I rather expect higher doses could be fatal. I wonder where they sourced the substance – some of the qualities suggest amphibian toxins, but then again…”
    “Doctor, where are we?” Maya gently interrupted the chatty alien. She swept her gaze around her surroundings as her eyes got used to the darkness. Another dungeon. The elfin Padawan propped herself up on one elbow, aches and pains shooting down her flank where she had been dumped on the stone floor. She quickly located the cell’s only exit: A squat doorway barred by a robust portcullis. Maya also saw a Skraven guard waiting beyond under a torchlight.
    “We’ve been taken prisoner!” Dr. Xam needlessly announced. “Even though you tried so hard to help them! Oh, Maya, your Jedi ways are so admirable, but what woes they have brought us now…”
    Maya sat up and checked her belt: Lightsaber, climbing cable, aquata breather, comlink… all gone. She suppressed a curse, guessing the Polis Massan medic had no equipment either.
    “Master Chodo is going to kill me,” she groaned, massaging aching limbs, “if we can get out of here, and past those droids…”
    Dr. Xam fell silent. Maya saw he was staring into a corner. When she turned her heart flipped a somersault in her chest and a chill slipped down her spine.
    “Who’s there?” she struggled to her feet to face the shadow.
     
  22. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh gosh, earlier this week, when this was on chapter four or so, I said to myself, "I am going to try to catch up with this over the weekend, because it looks really good!" And now, bam! It's at chapter seven, with the two most recent chapters added today. I'm going to do my very best to write up a proper comment this weekend, but till then I wonder if I might request a little slower update pace, just for the benefit of those of us who are too heavily RL-bound to read as quickly as we'd like? Thanks so much. :)
     
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  23. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Findswoman Thank you so much for looking in. And you gotta deal! I'll slow down from now on.
     
  24. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Kurisan - I don't think that either Ny or I think on favour base, but if you could continue to read what you started to read, provided that you truly enjoy it, I'll be more than happy. :) My things are weird and the volume is huge, so if somebody is genuinely interested, that means a lot to me.

    And this is where the story is starting to get shape. Are we going on about destruction of Polis Massa here? An alternative version of it? Wow!
     
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  25. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Excellent stuff =D= I am very happy that Maya doesn't seem to be fatally injured but the loss of all her equipment - Chodo will not be happy for sure. :p

    No need to repay the reading thing per se but you are definitely welcome to like and/or comment in whatever I post. [face_batting]