Minacia's Silly Sprinkles Thread

But, Minacia...bacon bits ARE the sprinkles of the bacon world. No need to reinvent the wheel on that one.

Still, that whole combination of sugar and bacon. Could be intriguing.

Yeah. Definite market in those suckers.

 

You do have a point. Bacon bits are indeed the sprinkles of the pork world. But, if we add a little sugar and my secret ingredient, we could draw in those who have had no use for sprinkles as yet, but who might give them a try if they were made with bacon.

 

Come now Minacia, haven't you ever had brown sugar bacon? Actually, they sell it at the grocery store in some parts of the know universe. See, what's the Empire gonna do there? Go in to Publix and start harrassing poor, innocent bag boys (not even gonna go there with the bag boy thing Minacia)?

 

m'Lady Brightstar, last Saturday, as I stood, aghast, watching the falling snow, a vision came to me. As the cold snow fell, which would normally turn a smile downwards, for we're certainly past the time for that, I thought of freshy caught snow in a paper cone...and to top it off, a bright array of tasty sprinkles. Please Empress, consider sending some sprinkles this way now and for next winter too. In hopes to make the passing season a little sweeter.

Isurus

 

So, Darkrider, you are able to transport even to this sector of the galaxy? Probably a little cooler than Tatooine.

I am not fearful for the well being of my young padawans. I trust in the Force for all good things. Surely something as colorful and sweet as sprinkles must be a gift from the Force.

 

I,personally, prefer sprinkles ON MY BACON!!!

-Axe

 

Dear Minacia Brightstar,
I bring greetings from the Galactic Senate. I would also like to inform you that there is a new tax on sprinkles enacted by your elected senators on Coruscant. Please remit all taxes to your local government official. That official will be able to inform you on the level of taxation that you are at.
Failure to do so, may cause the republic to fall into this evil empire that I continue to hear about.
My thanks for your immediate attention to this matter.
Lord Senator
C'Osk Do'Sine of Du'Rakis

p.s. Your agent Beenca Spunpatch has been informed of this situation.

 

As the local bureaucrat assigned to these parts, I would be most happy to collect those taxes from you.

(How else am I going to pay for all those collectibles associated with the latest holodrama?)

 

Dear Minacia Brightstar,
Beauracrats are not authorized to accept the newly enacted sprinkles tax....Please contact your local Galactic Senator or garrison commander to remit your taxes.
Lord Senator
C'Osk Do'Sine of Durakis

 

The Following is a Galactic wide Holo Transmission:

Attention All Republic Representatives,

Effective immediately, there will be a Twenty Percent taxation of Bacon and all Bacon products. This has just passed trough the Senate Taxation overlook committee. My thanks to Senator C'Osk Do'Sine of Durakis for forwarding the concerns of Galactic resident Beenca Spunpatch, the Assistant Quartermaster of the Pride's Revenge. Beenca discovered this oversight after the taxation of sprinkles was passed. My thanks once again to Beenca Spunpatch who as a reward will be free of the Bacon Taxation for the following Coruscant year.

Chancellor Palpating
Galactic Senate
Coruscant

 

Sprinkle taxation without representation? I'm not sure I can support that... it's time to go bandit... Renoylds-style!

 

These taxes were voted on by your representatives in the galactic senate so you did have representation. Long live the sprinkles......

 

Isurus, since you have so eloquently requested a sprinkles shipment, one shall be coming your way. Enjoy!

Surely something as colorful and sweet as sprinkles must be a gift from the Force.

Well said! I wholeheartedly agree!


Taxes?!? You've got to be kidding me! I already give you people almost half my profits, as it is!

Who is heck is my Senator, anyway? He should have stopped this. The sprinkle trade is what keeps the economy of this part of the galaxy alive. I will use my sprinkle connections to make sure he doesn't get reelected.

 

Empress, I must set the record straight. I did not suggest the new bacon tax. I was attempting to persuade the Senator from Durakis to drop the sprinkle tax. He used the bacon issue to score political points with the Chancellor, and make me look bad in the process. I have informed the senator that he has made a big mistake in underestimating me. I think that there are plenty of ways to get around both of these hideous taxes. If anyone can figure this out it is you, Minacia.

 

Perhaps Minacia's scientists will create a super sentient sprinkle-bacon hybrid army that will take over the world like in the X-files . . . Roswell style!

Bong!

 

There must be away around these taxes. Politicians are quite easy to extort or bribe.


A sprinkle-bacon hybird army? Hmmm...

 

Gambling...everything revolves around those awful podraces.

Oh, wait. Wrong scene!

And contrary to my esteemed colleague's opinion, we all know the bureaucrats are the ones who really get things processed. Pass it to the wrong person and it goes straight into someone's pocket.

With me, you avoid all that and can keep me in the manner to which I'd like to become accustomed.

::Hmm...maybe I shouldn't have said that::

 

RosieWook, since you are a bureaucrat and know the inner workings of government, perhaps you and I can make a deal? You find a way for me to circumvent these taxes, and I'll pay you for your trouble. For, in the end, paying you to assist me will be cheaper than paying these outrageous taxes.

Or, I could just go to Publix and round up the harrassed bag boys Jace mentioned and create a grand bag boy army.

 

Minacia, just keep using my "transporation system" and you can avoid taxes completely. Is it legal? Well, if Rosiewook can bog the senate down in proceedings (where have I heard those lines before?) then we should be good to go. If all else fails, you should enact a grand bag-boy army of the sprinkle-repbulic...

Long live baco-bits!! Long live sprinkles!!

 

(as the bounty hunter noom sits at his desk thinking as he writes)
minacia_brightstar,rosiewook,and perhaps jace_darkrider(smuggler)
bounty for tax evasion "ahh yes the empire should be calling any minate"
(he says as he leans back in his chair)
OUT:NOOM

 

Bounty hunters do not frighten me. None of you know my true power.

you should enact a grand bag-boy army of the sprinkle-repbulic...

 

Minacia, due to the fact that I have a long, long association with Publix it should not be a problem to roundup that bagboy army. They are always looking to get out of bagging some way or another. The only problem with bagboys is you have to keep them focused. The minute a cute cashier shows up they lose all concentration for their jobs. Maybe if we stuff them with sprinkles they will stay on the task at hand.

 

Wait just a ding-dong minnit... If sprinkles are illegal, how the heck can they tax them? I feel like I'm taking CRAZY pills!

 

Welcome to the Republic.

Here's a place where anything can happen and usually does!

 

Just do what I do Technoviper...just smile and nod your head. The circumvented logic that Empires and Republics have makes no difference to me. Beaucrats, troopers and bounty hunters are all the same to me. But you know, it's funny that they are usually the biggest abusers of sprinkles and BACON. Trust me on this one. I've seen many a trooper or senator with that joyous, glazed over look from spirnkles. They seem to think if they tax an illegal product...they'll somehow get their hard earned money back. Whatever...

That's why Minacia uses people like me to transport her product. If she doesn't get caught, more profits for her.

By the way Minacia, I think I just the Bag Boy to lead your army